THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES formed a five-member committee to investigate whether congressmen were truthful or not with the information stated in their SALNs. The committee members were identified as “Wehhh?” “Di nga?” “Really now!?” “Yeah right!” and “Maniwala kami!”

Party Listing
For next year’s party-list polls, instead of listing the qualified organizations alphabetically, the Commission on Elections will randomly list their names on the ballot. The poll body’s decision is being opposed by two party-list groups: 1-Care For You and AAAAAsahang Maglilingkod Forever.

The CJ Search
The Judicial & Bar Council (JBC) will allow the media to cover live the screening and selection of the next Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. The new set of criteria will soon include 10 percent – audience impact.

Reports say there are now 47 candidates for the post vacated by former Chief Justice Renato Corona. The number will be trimmed down to five in the Hollywood Round.

Former Defense Secretary and presidential aspirant Gilbert Teodoro is among those 47. Danding Cojuangco’s wife Gretchen says she’s cool with the other 46.

AT PRESS TIME, Comedy King Dolphy is still under observation at the ICU of Makati Medical Center. Eric Quizon says his father’s condition is better today than it was 12 hours ago. In fact, I have reason to believe that Mang Dolphy is in better shape now than the economy of Greece.

Abu Sayyaf
It’s been years since they started terrorizing us. Everyone is saying we should control the Abu Sayyaf Group. Funny. We can’t even control a Jordanian journalist!

Starfruits Beware
Sen. Edgardo Angara has filed the so-called ‘Anti-Balimbing Act’ that seeks to penalize political butterflies. Sen. Franklin Drilon is offended.

President Aquino is reportedly satisfied with the performance of Executive Secretary Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa as the government’s anti-crime czar. Really??? Ochoa’s the anti-crime czar?!? #hindihalata

K to 12
According to a recent Social Weather Stations survey, 65 percent of Filipinos support the K to 12 program of the Department of Education… while 100 percent of Filipinos were wondering what on earth was K to 12.

According to the Department of Labor and Employment, more Filipinos are now working “part-time.” Then President Aquino said, “Don’t you give me that look!”

Security Lapse
An Army colonel’s car was stolen in front of his quarters inside Camp Aguinaldo last Saturday. Since the start of the year, there have been 15 reported cases of burglaries at the AFP headquarters. And we’re talking about protecting Panatag Shoal from the Chinese??? Please.

Vice Governor Salvador?
Reports say actor Phillip Salvador will run for vice governor of Bulacan. Observers were shocked at his decision to run and were even more shocked to learn that he was from Bulacan.

Asked why he wanted to run, Salvador answered, “Siguro ito ‘yung kalabit ng Diyos sa akin. Siguro ito ‘yung gusto niya.” To which, God said, “Nananahimik ako. ‘Wag kang mandamay!”

According to Forbes, Floyd Mayweather Jr is now the world’s highest-paid athlete. In second place is Floyd’s adversary, Manny Pacquiao – who felt insulted for losing the number 1 position to an inmate.

The 5-member review panel formed by the World Boxing Organization said Manny Pacquiao indeed won against Timothy Bradley Jr. And Mar Roxas was like, “There’s still hope.”

Hollywood actor Johnny Depp and his partner of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis announced their split. The third party was identified as Tim Burton.

In Egypt, Hosni Mubarak, the dictator who ruled the country for three decades is clinically dead. Mubarak was once clinging to power. Now, he’s clinging to life.
“Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy.”
~Author Unknown

Quotes Quiz. Who tweeted:
“Now I am torn! I like both OKC and Miami, don’t know who I will root for.”
A: Cong. Sonny Angara
B: Cong. Jules Ledesma
C: Cong. JV Ejercito
D: Cong. Teddy Casiño

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quiz: C

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

7 thoughts on “FIGHTING CHANCE”

  1. Today, we’ll have the longest day kaya siguro naman okay lang ang long comment? LOL

    CHIEF JUSTICE. About CJ nomination, parang napakababa na ng tingin ng mga Pinoy sa Chief Justice. Kahit sino na lang nominado. Hala ka, parang circus na yun. CJ ang hanap natin, hindi clown. Sabagay, sa pagpili din ng presidente ganun din, kahit sinu na lang dyan. Kaya nga naging presidente si Noynoy di ba?

    BALIMBING. Talagang magagalit si Sen. Drilon. Siya yata ang pinakabalimbing sa lahat. Parang linta rin, kung sino ang nasa pwesto yun ang kanyang maging prinsipyo. Sana maging Chief Justice siya. Hahaha. Gusto yata din ng iba ang CJ na balimbing.

    JOJO OCHOA. Bakit paborito siya ni presidente? Naku ha, baka ano yan. Magpakatotoo na kasi kayo sir. Yun ang daang matuwid.

    PART-TIME. Part-time lang ba ni Noynoy ang pagiging presidente? Saan siya full time? Sa baril, babae, or sa mga close niya na nandyan din sa palasyo?

    LAOS NA ARTISTA. Pag laos na, magpulitiko na yan!


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