AND STILL… (FOR US)

THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP, Manny Pacquiao lost his fight against Timothy Bradley Jr. And God was like, “Don’t look at me!”


The judges’ split decision was a real shocker. One judge scored the fight 115-113 for Pacquiao; another judge scored it 115-113 for Bradley. But the third judge scored it 115-113 for Claudine.

Even the final punch stats (Compubox) showed that Manny Pacquiao landed more solid punches than Bradley. In fact, Bradley landed fewer punches than Raymart Santiago did.


Jinkee Pacquiao was reportedly stunned when she heard the decision. She was so shocked her face almost moved.

Equally shocked was Manny Pacquiao’s trainer – Pastor Jeric Soriano Freddie Roach.

Filipino congressmen who watched the fight in Las Vegas were upset. The lawmakers thought the bout was a walk in the pork for Pacman.

The Philippine National Police reported a single crime during the fight – a robbery. The victim was identified as Manny Pacquiao.

Reports say Manny Pacquiao’s colleagues in Congress described his loss as a “highway robbery.” I tend to believe their description because when it comes to the subject of robbery, they’re the authority.

Two judges scored the fight for Timothy Bradley Jr. As expected, Mar Roxas demanded a recount.


Timothy Bradley attended the post-fight news conference in a wheelchair. He arrived with his loyal wife, Cristina Basa-Bradley.

Despite the huge upset, Malacañang hailed Pacquiao for showing “the endurance and strength of Filipinos to the world.” And then went on to blame the previous administration for the loss.

Sen. Koko Pimentel was disappointed at the result of the bout. He refused to accept a Bradley win so he wrote a letter to his Ninong Erap to express his frustration.

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago isn’t surprised at all that, this early, both camps are talking about a rematch. Santiago says boxing is a quasi-entertainment, quasi-business sport.

A Brief Interview With the Devil
on the Pacquiao-Bradley Match

(Via Skype)

Uy! ‘Tagal mong ‘di nagparamdam ah. Kumusta na?

‘To naman, may maitanong lang. Siyempre, demonyo pa rin.

Napanood mo ba sa TV ang laban kanina?

Anong TV? Ano ako, cheap? Two days ang delay sa TV. Sa tingin mo magtsa-t’yaga akong manood ng tambak na commercials? Nandun ako sa MGM Grand Garden Arena!

Sa Las Vegas?

Hindi! Sa Divisoria. Katabi ng Tutuban Mall. ‘Andun ang MGM Grand Garden Arena ‘di ba?

Leche naman, kupal ka talaga!

Thank you.

Seriously, ano sa palagay mo’ng nangyari kanina?

Palagay? What do you mean ‘palagay’ eh ako ang arkitekto ng lahat ng kaganapan dun.

Ikaw ang nagpatalo kay Pacquiao?

Tanga! Hindi siya natalo! Binulungan ko lang ang tatlong judges na taasan ang score ni Bradley para mawindang ang lahat.

Eh bakit split decision? Kung talagang powerful ka, sana unanimous decision for Bradley.

Anong magagawa ko eh linis-linisan ‘yong isang judge? Dati palang preacher ang pucha.

So masaya ka na?

Naman! Fulfilled na fulfilled! Imaginin mo ‘yon, may ‘pray over,’ ‘pray over’ pang nalalaman ang idolo n’yo. Bawat buka ng kanyang bibig, special mention ang kanyang Lord at kung anu-anong Biblical quotes. O, ano ngayon? Loko! Eh ‘di nagwakas rin ang paghahari-harian mo!

You sound soooo insecure.

Thank you.

Malamang takot ka kay Pacman. Close na siya kay God eh.

Ako? Takot? Har har har Kung takot ako, eh bakit nakaakyat pa ‘ko ng ring kanina? Heto ang pruweba. Right click here at hanapin mo na lang ako sa picture. Clue: I love red.

Ikaw ba ‘yon? Governor ‘yon ah.

Ikaw ang nagsabi n’yan, hindi ako!

Tarantado!

Thank you!


Maraming tao ang galit sa resulta ng laban. Sa katunayan, sabi ni Bob Arum, “I have never been so ashamed to be associated with the sport of boxing as I am tonight.” Any reaction?

Sabihin mo sa kanya… ULOL! ‘Wag nga siyang magmalinis. Kasabwat ko siya ‘noh. In fact, mamaya kapag nagkita kami, paplanuhin na namin ang mas malaking rematch sa November. Kaching! Kaching!

Teka, saan ka pala nakaupo kanina. Nadaanan ka ba ng camera?

I’m not sure. Pero nandun ako sa row ng mga congressman mula sa Pilipinas. Feeling ko nga nasa impiyerno ako kanina at may magaganap na session. Muntik nang magka-quorum ang mga punyeta.

Galit ka sa kanila?

Noooo! On the contrary, I’m sooo proud of those politicians. Sa kabila ng patuloy na pagdami ng nagugutom na Pinoy, hayun naman sila, naglalakwatsa gamit ang pera ng taumbayan. Tell me, how could you not love them? Keep it up guys!

Kunwari showbiz tayo… may mensahe ka ba sa sa mga judges?

Thank you! Thank you for not failing me. Basta kagaguhan, maaasahan talaga kayo. Ipagpatuloy n’yo ‘yan!

Kay Bradley, anong masasabi mo?

Kapal ng mukha mo tsong. Feeling mo naman nanalo ka. Gago! Puro ka yakap kay Pacquiao kanina eh alam mo namang homophobic ‘yon! Pasalamat ka’t nagawan ko ng paraan sa scores! You owe me one! Good luck sa rematch.

Finally, ano ang message mo sa changed man na si Pacquiao?

To Manny, who abandoned me…  I have three words for you: Har! Har! Har!

Ang sama mo!

Thank you!
————————————————-
“I respect the decision but 100 percent, I believe I won the fight.”
~ Manny Pacquiao

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

31 thoughts on “AND STILL… (FOR US)”

  1. Done. Tapos na ang laban at TALO si Manny Pacquiao.Tanggapin natin yun. Hindi naman lahat na panalo kay Manny.

    Di ba ang boxing ay “quasi-entertainment, quasi-business sport” kaya ayon.

    May connection yan. Di ba sabi ni Pacquiao mananalo si Jessica Sanchez? Yun, natalo. Kaya si Manny din natalo…

    Sana, sa eleksiyon na lang natalo si Manny… hindi sa boxing. Mas magaling siyang boxer kay sa pagiging congressman.

    Like

  2. P-noy wants to impeach the fight judges.

    Congress wants to honour pacquaio, and ensure free tickets for the next fight

    Singson is going to beat up his girlfriend

    pacquaio will win the least attendance at congress award.

    Mommy d diagnosed with a bad case of over acting

    All is back to normal

    Like

  3. i was and i am for pacquiao, pero pag talo, talo

    my own observation, one gauge that pacquiao was not destined to be the winner this time was the response of the audience in the arena, the jabs that landed on bradley’s face were coldly responded, maybe they felt that
    it lacks the intensity, were thrown just for the sake of jabbing, parang, wala lang…..

    siguro malaking bahagi ay dahil, very prayerful na si pacquiao, parang, it
    will contradict kung bubugbug pa siya seriously kaya i think, it’s best that
    he retires na…

    Like

  4. ang masabi ko lang ngayon ay parang maramdaman na ni Pacquiao ang parang pinagkaitan ng pagkapanalo na naramdaman noon ni Marquez ng maglaban talaga sila….dahil akala talaga ni Marquez ay panalo siya at may mga Pinoy din na hindi kumbinsido sa pagkapanalo ni Pacquiao…pero siya ang pinapanalo ng mga judges…..respetuhin na lang ang desisyon….ang hirap kasi sa ating mga Pilipino ay mahilig mag reklamo…

    Like

  5. sa boxing ay halos pera pera na lang talaga….kung nanalo si Pacquiao ay baka mag retire na siya dahil sino pa ang makakalaban….wala ng mapagpilian si Bob Arum…pero dahil natalo o sadyang pinapatalo ay magkakaroon ng rematch…..pera na naman…at kung manalo si Pacquiao sa rematch ay may third fight pa….dahilan para hindi muna mag retire si Pacquiao…malaking pera ang mapapasakamay dahil kay bradley na laging makakalaban sa boxing……hindi na iyon nakapagtataka…katulad din ng ibang mga naka boxing ni Pacquiao na may third fight..

    Like

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