RUMORS, FACTS & HUMOR

Fifty Baseless Facts About the Government and Political Figures


No. 1: Joseph Estrada was a virgin when he married Luisa Ejercito.

No. 2: Manny Villar was so poor, his parents were only able to have him circumsized when he was already 16.

No. 3: In high school, Renato Corona was voted “Most Likely to Get Away With Anything.”

No. 4: On a scale of Lito Lapid to Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the average Senate IQ is Tito Sotto.

No. 5: Serafin Cuevas helped craft the Code of Hammurabi.

No. 6: Niel Tupas hated math in grade school. He’s poor in counting.

No. 7: The Imelda Marcos we see in Congress today is not the real Imelda Marcos. The former First Lady died in New York in 1999 at age 70.

No. 8: Juan Ponce Enrile can recite pi to 500 digits.

No. 9: The all-time favorite movie of Koko Pimentel’s ex-wife, Jewel May Lobaton is “Unfaithful.”

No. 10: By the time a congressman completes his first term, his net worth has increased by 85 percent.No. 11: Loren Legarda’s first ‘crush’ was her 25-year-old neighbor. She was only 10 then.

No. 12: President Aquino has nocturnal enuresis.

No. 13: Until 2010, Mar Roxas didn’t know how to ride a bicycle.

No. 14: Panfilo Lacson sleeps with a gun under his pillow.

No. 15: Grace Lee is allergic to second-hand smoke.

No. 16:   Toby Tiangco finished first runner-up in the ‘Mr. Xavier School’ pageant in 1985. The title was won by sophomore student Jose ‘JV’ Ejercito.

No. 17: Lawyer Karen Jimeno was born male.

No. 18: Ricky Carandang has a secret account on Twitter.

No.19: A recent study revealed 10 out of 5 opinion columnists of the Philippine Daily Inquirer believed Chief Justice Renato Corona would be convicted.

No. 20: Jejomar Binay switches to 24Oras whenever Korina Sanchez is reading the news on TV Patrol.No. 21: Bong Revilla converted to Islam in 2002.

No. 22: Next to Revilla, Edgardo Angara is the most sexually active member of the Senate.

No. 23: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is taller in the afternoon.

No. 24: Lawyer Ferdie Topacio worked as a standup comic to finance his post-grad studies.

No. 25: Under ‘Assets,’ Ronald Llamas declared in his SALN some 1,750 DVDs, VCDs, and CDs.

No. 26: DFA Secretary Albert Del Rosario, the richest cabinet member has 85 dollar acounts.

No. 27: Franklin Drilon has tried at least three diet programs in the last three years: Atkins, Cohen, and South Beach.

No. 28: A classified report showed 8 in 10 Customs officials/employees have accepted bribes and other gifts from smugglers.

No. 29: Mommy Dionisia noticed Manny Pacquiao’s homosexual tendencies in high school. She forced him to try boxing.

No. 30: Since DLSU joined the UAAP in 1986, DepEd’s Bro. Armin Luistro has never missed a single La Salle Archers game.

No. 31: Feeling insulted, Butch Abad rejected an endorsement offer from Svenson.

No. 32: Lito Lapid is undergoing therapy for epistemophobia.

No. 33: The Black and White Movement is the most dominant political party in the country today; in close second, Akbayan.

No. 34: Prospero Pichay eats all kinds of vegetables except for pechay.

No. 35: ETC Channel has offered the Basa sisters a reality show.

No. 36: The date of release of SWS and Pulse Asia surveys is subject to the approval of the Presidential Communications Group.

No. 37: Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa is Chief Justice Renato Corona’s ‘eyes & ears’ in Malacañang.

No. 38: Jules Ledesma can speak Latin, Greek, and Sanskrit all at the same time. He is also ambidextrous, a somnambulist and a contortionist.

No. 39: Malacañang has postponed the release of the new 2,000-peso bill that promotes motherhood. The denomination features Kris Aquino, Josh, and Bimby..

No. 40: At least three senators admitted they have had ‘experience’ with the third sex, two during college and another, “just recently.”

No. 41: Kim Henares and Dinky Soliman are first cousins.

No. 42: When Mar Roxas lost the vice presidency, Judy Araneta-Roxas texted Korina Sanchez and said, “Jinx!”

No. 43: Jamby Madrigal was a national arm wrestling champion in grade school.


No. 44: In no particular order, the three government officials with the highest Temple Run scores are Tesda’s Joel Villanueva, MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino and Health Undersecretary Dr. Eric Tayag.

No. 45: Manoling Morato did the styling (including hair and make up) of co-host Maggie De La Riva in the controversial PCSO program “Dial M.’’

No. 46: Viel Aquino-Dee was bullied by Kris Aquino when they were young. She has yet to recover from the trauma.

No. 47: Conchita Carpio-Morales was a piranha in her past life.

No. 48: On the average, Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan tweets 850 times a day: 500 replies to her bashers, and 350 Biblical quotes.

No. 49: Abigail Valte spends 45 minutes fixing her eyebrows daily.

No. 50: Chiz Escudero has a twin sister named Villa.

*Rumors, Facts and Humor was also the title of a defunct local showbiz talk show.
——————————–
“There are no facts, only interpretations.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Photo of the Weak
Caption this!


Quotes Quiz. Who said:
“What is clear between us is that the [reported] third party was not the reason for the separation.”
A: Sen. Koko Pimentel
B: Jewel May Lobaton (Pimentel)
C: Sen. Chiz Escudero
D: Christine Flores (Escudero)

You Have Spoken
Ano ang nais mong maging hatol ng impeachment court kay CJ Corona?
-Acquit! 35.63%
-Convict! 54.45%
-Problema na nila ‘yon. Wala akong pakialam. 9.91%

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz: B.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

41 thoughts on “RUMORS, FACTS & HUMOR”

  1. Nice.

    Fav – no.4 – lito lapid could spar with pacquaio in the intellectual stakes.
    Fact – no. 36 – next sws/pulse asia survey any day now

    Captions:
    “Don’t play with yourself in public!”
    “Don’t despair, there are plenty of other whoreans”
    “Is he sleeping, or working? – I can never tell”
    “I know he’s been acquitted, but be a man about it”
    “You have to stay in the naughty chair for repeatedly lying”
    “OK, so Binay is more popular”
    “Mummy”

    Like

  2. Decision Day – thoughts

    “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage.
    Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.” – Erma Bombeck –
    ‘ eating balut is another ‘

    “He who commits injustice is more wretched than he who suffers it” – Plato

    Like

  3. An old man like him can recite Pi up to 500 digits? Amazing! Speaking of numbers, Cong. Tupas is really poor in Math. He did not even know the value of his mansion and the the total value of the favors he gets from the administration. Whew! Pathetic!

    No. 47: Conchita Carpio-Morales was a piranha in her past life.
    RE: Totoo ito (based on baseless facts). Malupit na piranha siya before naging human being.

    Best laugh ever! LOL.

    Like

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