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DEAR NOY, KRIS, MANNY, ATBP.

29 04 2012

A COMPILATION of letters, inquiries, and comments addressed to government leaders and other newsmakers. Have fun!

Dear President Aquino,
Ano po ba ang real score sa inyo ni Ma’am Grace Lee?
Kinikilig,
Aling Pelagia

Dear Aling Pelagia,
Hindi pa po ako nakaka-iskor.
Noynoy

Dear Congressman Pacquiao,
Talagang nakakagulat ang pagbabago n’yo. Hindi ko kinakaya.
Amen,
Dominga

Dear Dominga,
Matagal na ho akong relihiyoso. Kaya OA ang reaksyon n’yo. ‘Tsaka alin ho ba ang mas nakakagulat: Ang aking pagbabago o ang pagbabagong-anyo ng misis ko? Git a life.
Manny

Dear DepEd Secretary Armin Luistro,
Ano po ba ang ibig sabihin ng K sa programa ng DepEd na K+12?
Aburidong parents,
Mr. & Mrs. Genil

Hello there Mr. & Mrs. Genil!
Ang K sa K+12 ay marami pong kahulugan. Pwedeng kaklase, klasrum, kolehiyo, kabarilan o kaibigan. Pero mas akma yata ang “kuba” dahil tiyak na kuba na sa kakaaral ang anak n’yo, hindi pa rin siya tapos. I’m sure masasanay rin kayo. So, keri lang.
Bro. Armin


Dear Commission on Human Rights (CHR),
Grabe na ang init ng panahon. Hindi na ito makatarungan. Hindi n’yo ba kami tutulungan?
Sinisipon at inuubo,
Saturnino

Dear Saturnino,
Anong palagay mo sa CHR – Mercury Drug? Ang kailangan mo ay Alaxan, hindi katarungan. Ang tanga naman nito.
CHR


Dear Mrs.  Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan,
Lagi ka na lang nagi-emote. Alin po kaya ang mas maraming issue: ‘yong Reader’s Digest o kayo?
Basher,
Papa P Fanatico

Dear Papa P Fanatico,
I’m happy with my life because God has always been good to me. Hindi kita papatulan. I will not stoop to your level. B-A-K-L-A!
Mega

Dear Chief Justice Corona,
Apparently, hate ka ni Mr. Peping Cojuangco. Nangampanya ka raw sa Supreme Court para paboran ang mas mababang compensation sa mga owners ng Hacienda Luisita.
Sosyalera,
Leona

P.S. Sabi pa ni Mang Peping, pinersonal mo raw si Pangulong Aquino sa nasabing isyu. May katotohanan ba ang alegasyon niyang ito?

Dear Leona,
Oo.
Renato

Dear Secretary Mar Roxas,
Nabasa ko sa diyaryo, wala ka raw balak tumakbo sa pagka-pangulo sa 2016. Anong kalokohan ito?
Hmpf,
Korina

Dear Korina,
Usap na lang tayo later. Huwag dito. Nakakahiya. I love you babe.
Mar

Dear Foreign Affairs Department,
Ano ba talaga ang name ng pinag-aagawang area? Scarborough Shoal, Panatag Shoal, o Bajo de Masinloc? Iba-iba kayo ng ginagamit eh. Paano kayo mananalo n’yan sa China kung sa pangalan pa lang ‘di na kayo magkasundo? Umayos nga kayo!
Confused,
Fu Meng Xhia

Dear Fu Meng Xhia,
Galit ka? Affected?!? Sadyang tatlo ang ginagamit naming pangalan. Dahil sabi nga nila: “If you can’t beat them, confuse them!” Eh ikaw, bakit ganyan ang pangalan mo? Ispiya! Kapal mo!
DFA

Dear Congressman Niel Tupas Jr,
In less than a week, the impeachment trial will resume. Are you prepared?
Senator Miriam

Dear Senator Miriam,
The truth of the matter is we have decided to…

Sen Miriam: I’m only asking if you’re ready or not. It’s answerable by a simple yes or no. Did I ask you to elaborate!? No! Wha!

Cong. Tupas: I submit your honor.

Dear Mayor,
Matapos ka naming suportahan noong nakaraang eleksyon, ito pa ang igaganti mo sa amin? Demolisyon??!!! Wala ka nang maaasahan sa susunod na halalan! Tandaan mo ‘yan! Tandaan mo ‘yan!
Nagbabanta,
Leodegaria

Dear Leodegaria,
Mas kikita ho ang city hall sa itatayong condo. ‘Tsaka, ‘di ako natatakot sa banta n’yo. Tapos na ho ang termino ko. Belat!
Mayor

Dear Ate Kris Aquino,
Sana tumakbo kang senador next year. Kailangan ka sa Senado. Ikaw ang pag-asa ng mga naghihirap, walang hanapbuhay at walang makaing Pilipino. Parang awa mo na.
Umaasa,
Luzviminda Balingit Santos-Lalata y Rivera

Dear Luzviminda,
Nakakaloka ka! Ano ako? Pantawid Pamilya Program? Aha-ha-ha Hindi kita kinaya girl! Hayaan mo, sa 2016 baka sakali. Alam mo naman ang kampanya, magastos ‘di ba? ‘Tapos, nawalan pa kami ng hacienda (I hate you Corona!) so kailangang super tipid. Hindi ko naman pwedeng iasa ang future ni Bimby sa kakarampot na sustento ni James right?. Ay, ano ba ‘yon! Sorrry. Erase! Erase! Erase! Aha-ha-ha!
Love, love, love
Kris

Dear President Aquino,
Ang pogi natin sa picture sa taas ah! Ang cool ng glasses! Parang superhero! Asteeeg!
Ikaw na!
Giovanni

Dear Giovanni,
Ulol! Thanks!
Noynoy
—————————————-
“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”
~ Naguib Mahfouz

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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16 responses

29 04 2012
zimoziho

Reblogged this on Zimoziho's Blog and commented:
so funny …

Like

29 04 2012
senior60

dear chr

ang alaxan ba ay panlunas para sa init ng panahon?
bakit hindi muna kayo kumonsulta kay pacquiao…

Like

29 04 2012
senior60

ano ba ang bajo de masinloc? masinloc’s smell?

Like

2 05 2012
etchosera

ayyyy! huma-havey ang senior!

Claftir to the max for you!

Like

29 04 2012
libertas

Dear P#*!-noy
&/++ %@#.. /!!! Hacienda Luisita +!%&&&##
#@@/** idiot &**%++
noynoying &%% 5-10 billion %%#”‘/ !!!
Cojuangco

Dear uncle
Sorry!!!!
The future ex-president

P.S. Will make sure you get the new national stadium and rail link built in Clark next to your airport & airline. Another goldmine for you paid for by taxpayers. Hehe

Like

30 04 2012
Nonoy

Kawawa si Tupas. Hehehe.. Halata namang hindi siya prepared palagi sa impeachment court. Pero handa siya sa pagpapa-pogi sa media as if alam nya…bakit kaya naging lead prosecutor siya? Hmmm…

Nakakatawa ang response ng president tungkol kay Grace Lee.. Pero ang totoo (maraming nagasasabi), panakip butas lang ang mga babae ni Noynoy.. Kasi, ang totoo ay.. ang totoo kasi ay.. the fact is, siya ay.. hahaha.. wag na.. you’re guess is as good as mine..

Like

30 04 2012
Nonoy

mali ba ang you’re ko.. dapat your… nagkamali tuloy, sana sinabi ko na lang ang guess ko tungkol kay presidente…

Like

30 04 2012
libertas

Dear barack
Watched your performance at correspondents dinner. They loved you. How i wish…
Could i use your scriptwriters.
Your servant always
I love you
Noy

Dear follower
No. Get your own. I hear professional heckler is excellent.
Your president

Like

3 05 2012
senior60

oftentimes, it is hard to fathom what is in the mind of a mensa member, really

Like

30 04 2012
tcbernardo

Please define “bashing.” How do you describe the comment of a certain libertas above?

Like

2 05 2012
senior60

pag sinabi bang filtered, ibig sabihin, corrected? or totally,

banned ba tawag?

Like

3 05 2012
tcbernardo

That’s what I was trying to clarify; for there was a bold boxed item that “Bashing is automatically filtered by the system.”

Like

2 05 2012
etchosera

Ay! Wala naman po atang comment si Aling Libby ah?

Puro palitan lang ng sulat ang nabasa ko diyan sa taas from a certain libertas.

Are you certain?

Like

3 05 2012
tcbernardo

I was referring to the post by Libertas dated 04/29 at 23:34:10.

Like

3 05 2012
libertas

“If you have no critics you’ll likely have no success.” – Malcolm X

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Robert Frost

And if you dont have freedom of expression/press you’re in china – (so lets not develop that thought)

Like

2 05 2012
libertas

p-noy photo

‘ who loves ya, baby’

1 lollipop short of a kojak (telly savalas) impersonation

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