SIZZLING SUMMER

THE SIZZLING WEATHER is almost unbearable. It’s stressful. It causes discomfort. It’s irritable. It makes you angry. It frustrates you. Probably, the same feeling you get when you lose your hacienda to the farmers, or when the media hounds you and your girlfriend.

You know it’s hot outside when… Chinese fishermen refuse to leave Philippine waters.

You know it’s really hot outside when… Sen. Manny Villar decides to bathe in a sea of garbage.

And you know it’s extremely hot outside when… people go to the House of Representatives just to stand next to something shady.

Metro Weather
According to PAGASA, the temperature in Metro Manila reached 36.2 degrees Celsius this week. You know it’s really hot when the numbers are higher than Chief Justice Corona’s trust rating.

The good news is the weather bureau is monitoring a tropical cyclone near the Philippine Area of Responsibility. It could bring some rains if it enters the country. The bad news is just this morning, the Chinese declared that the tropical cyclone was theirs.

To prevent illness, the public is advised to avoid “hot places.” PAGASA says the hottest spots these days include buildings with cemented surfaces; areas near bodies of water, and Silverio Compound in Parañaque City..

Hotter Earth
According to the British High Commission’s Southeast Asia Climate Change Network, the earth’s temperature would likely rise by 4 degrees Celsius by the end of the century. To which Senator Enrile and retired Justice Serafin Cuevas said, “That’s the least of our concerns.”

Ambushed!
Eleven government soldiers and a civilian were killed in an ambush staged by the Communist New People’s Army in Ifugao. Close aides of Communist leader Jose Maria Sison were like: “Burger! Burger! Burger!”

Twelve people were killed by Communist rebels in Ifugao. As “tradition” dictates, the Commission on Human Rights will absolutely do nothing.

Influential
According to Forbes, Manny Pacquiao is the world’s fourth most influential athlete today. And according to Kerygma, Pacquiao is now the country’s third most influential preacher.

Pacman & Jessica
Manny Pacquiao has a message for Fil-Am Jessica Sanchez who’s now in the Top 5 of American Idol. Pacman was quoted to have said, “You’re gonna win, I declare it in Jesus’ name.” In the interest of fairness, we will try to get the side of Jesus.

Metta World Peace
The Los Angeles Lakers’ Ron Artest a.k.a. Metta World Peace was suspended for seven games for his violent behavior inside the court. When he retires, Artest looks forward to seeking the mayoral post in Davao City.

Fiery
Time magazine has named Mount Pinatubo as one of the top 10 fiery volcanoes in recorded human history. At No. 11 was Annabelle Rama.
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“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”
~Russel Baker

You Have Spoken
Kung may dapat gawaran ng National Artist Award, sino sa tatlong ito ‘yon?
– Dolphy 86.43%
– Nora Aunor 7.14%
– Vilma Santos 6.43%

Have a safe, healthy and happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.