LET THERE BE LIGHT (2012)

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the failure of the old bulb on the previous administration

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the more important question is: will he do it?

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to release photos of him installing the new bulb.

Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to change it and nine to send a text blast telling Filipinos about his accomplishment.

Q: How many Niel Tupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45! No, only 24. Wait, it think it’s 6 17.

Q: How many Serafin Cuevases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to install the new bulb and another to defend the materiality, pertinence, and relevance of the installation.


Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to lecture the electrician on the correct way of installation.

Q: How many Juan Ponce Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to talk about how much better it was during Martial Law.

Q: How many Toby Tiangcos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He won’t. He thinks the ladder is defective.

Q: How many Miro Quimbos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the media if the new bulb doesn’t work.

Q: How many “small ladies” does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Maybe one. Or none? Nobody knows for sure.

Q: How many Renato Coronas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But some sectors will question his capacity to finish the job.

Q: How many Manny Pacquiaos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ‘Di na kailangan ‘yan. Genesis 1:3: And God said “Let there be light.” And there was light.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to write a book about the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least five. Again, the ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Judge Jesus Mupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You’re late. He just did!

Q: How many Franklin Drilons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But… careful with the ladder!

Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to ask the people to embrace ‘change.’

Q: How many Lakas politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lakas? What Lakas? They’re now Liberals!


Q: How many Ex-Palawan Governor Joel T. Reyeses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to shoot the old bulb.

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and a dozen more to chant, “Tama na! Pundido na! Palitan na!”

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame America for the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Pulse Asias and Social Weather Stations does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depende. Sang-ayon ba kayo na sila ang magpalit ng bumbilya?
__ Labis na sumasang-ayon __ Sumasang-ayon __ Tumututol __ Labis na Tumututol

Q: How many Zeny Maglayas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to file a complaint against the manufacturer of the original bulb.

Q: How many Philippine Daily Inquirers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to take photos, one to publish the unflattering photo, and one to apologize for the publication of the photo.

Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but there’s no assurance that the new bulb will work upon installation.

Q: How many Sharon Cunetas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tweet a Biblical passage related to bulbs.

Q: How many Grace Lees does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tell the press about the experience.

Q: How many Azkals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. Two to change it, and nine to laugh during the installation of the new bulb.

Q: How many UP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to blame the state for its lack of support.

Q: How many Ateneans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to brag about the feat.

Q: How many La Sallistas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don’t know. We forgot the calculator at home.

Q: How many UST students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No need. They have candles. Pray na lang muna.

Q: How many UPLB students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They don’t need to replace the light bulb. They need to replace their mayor.

Q: How many Wenn Deramases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but he needs Deejay Durano to hold the ladder.
———————————————–
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
~ Plato

In Other News…
Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao is set to join PDP-Laban. From Lakas to Nacionalista to Liberal supporter to Laban member. Pacman doesn’t need a party. He needs conviction.

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

40 thoughts on “LET THERE BE LIGHT (2012)”

  1. grabe ang galing mo dakilang ph, i mean this kind of joke has used many thimes pero kaw ang the best….sobrang slow ko lang talaga di ko nakuha yung kay drillon, bakit masisira yung ladder? sa bigat?,,, and i had to google pa si zeny maglayas…i love it so. madami ng bagong character ha…

    Like

  2. Nice insights – and so true!

    How many kris aquinos does it take to change a light bulb.
    – Dont! – she looks better in the dark.

    How many malacanan comms group…
    – we’ll get back to you on that

    How many grace lees…
    – what an obnoxious question

    How many kim jong-uns..
    – one, and 1,000 technicians to clear the nuclear waste

    How many transgender miss universe contestants…
    – One, and 2 doctors to verify

    How many pacquaios…
    – none, God does it for him

    How many bong revillas…
    – i dont get out of bed for less than 100 million pesos

    How many lito lapids…
    – i am too poor to have a spare light bulb. Hehe

    How many lacsons…
    – first, you have to find the light bulb

    Like

  3. How many Miriam defensor santiago?
    two- one to find someone else to do it for her and the other to blabber about the material significance of the light bulb and its impertinence of being busted, audacity of its presence when everything is dark.. yadah, yadah, yadah, “GTFO!!” she finger points at the cringing light bulb.
    .

    heck! that was the replaced one : 😦

    Like

  4. pwede po bang pa-try? para kasing masaya eh hehehe

    how many phil. presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

    for the sake of fairness, others have done what they could to contribute, some may have plans to do the task, did something that either made the situation slightly better or irrevocably worse and some are just too busy helping themselves and others are too busy with friends and their love life to care for others, so the answer, in my humble opinion, is none…

    truth be told, instead of an answer to this question, the first things that came to my mind are another set of questions:

    do we really need them to change the light bulb?

    why stick with a light bulb when we can change it to “CFLs” or any modern substitute that is cost-effective? (you know what i mean)

    will we ever have someone ambitious enough to not only change the light bulb but to build an effing lighthouse? (sorry i had to add that because that what i’m really feeling)

    maybe we are so used to wait for them to change the light bulb for a very long time that we are, as a nation, is gradually losing its sight…

    Like

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