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LET THERE BE LIGHT (2012)

15 04 2012

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the failure of the old bulb on the previous administration

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the more important question is: will he do it?

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to release photos of him installing the new bulb.

Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to change it and nine to send a text blast telling Filipinos about his accomplishment.

Q: How many Niel Tupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45! No, only 24. Wait, it think it’s 6 17.

Q: How many Serafin Cuevases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to install the new bulb and another to defend the materiality, pertinence, and relevance of the installation.


Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to lecture the electrician on the correct way of installation.

Q: How many Juan Ponce Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to talk about how much better it was during Martial Law.

Q: How many Toby Tiangcos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He won’t. He thinks the ladder is defective.

Q: How many Miro Quimbos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the media if the new bulb doesn’t work.

Q: How many “small ladies” does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Maybe one. Or none? Nobody knows for sure.

Q: How many Renato Coronas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But some sectors will question his capacity to finish the job.

Q: How many Manny Pacquiaos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ‘Di na kailangan ‘yan. Genesis 1:3: And God said “Let there be light.” And there was light.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to write a book about the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least five. Again, the ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Judge Jesus Mupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You’re late. He just did!

Q: How many Franklin Drilons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But… careful with the ladder!

Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to ask the people to embrace ‘change.’

Q: How many Lakas politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lakas? What Lakas? They’re now Liberals!


Q: How many Ex-Palawan Governor Joel T. Reyeses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to shoot the old bulb.

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and a dozen more to chant, “Tama na! Pundido na! Palitan na!”

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame America for the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Pulse Asias and Social Weather Stations does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depende. Sang-ayon ba kayo na sila ang magpalit ng bumbilya?
__ Labis na sumasang-ayon __ Sumasang-ayon __ Tumututol __ Labis na Tumututol

Q: How many Zeny Maglayas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to file a complaint against the manufacturer of the original bulb.

Q: How many Philippine Daily Inquirers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to take photos, one to publish the unflattering photo, and one to apologize for the publication of the photo.

Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but there’s no assurance that the new bulb will work upon installation.

Q: How many Sharon Cunetas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tweet a Biblical passage related to bulbs.

Q: How many Grace Lees does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tell the press about the experience.

Q: How many Azkals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. Two to change it, and nine to laugh during the installation of the new bulb.

Q: How many UP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to blame the state for its lack of support.

Q: How many Ateneans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to brag about the feat.

Q: How many La Sallistas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don’t know. We forgot the calculator at home.

Q: How many UST students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No need. They have candles. Pray na lang muna.

Q: How many UPLB students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They don’t need to replace the light bulb. They need to replace their mayor.

Q: How many Wenn Deramases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but he needs Deejay Durano to hold the ladder.
———————————————–
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
~ Plato

In Other News…
Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao is set to join PDP-Laban. From Lakas to Nacionalista to Liberal supporter to Laban member. Pacman doesn’t need a party. He needs conviction.

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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40 responses

15 04 2012
Jun Halili

You say Pacman “needs conviction”. Why? Who do you think he is, Corona?

Like

16 04 2012
Anonymous

BIR will give him the conviction he needs.

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16 04 2012
Nathaniel A. Ong

Pacman should share his money in trading with ETERNITY FOREIGN EXCHANGE INC. para marami syang matulungan na businessman.

Like

15 04 2012
Carlo

Q: How many UPLB students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They don’t need to replace the light bulb. They need to replace their mayor.

—–
I agree. 🙂

Like

15 04 2012
rael

HAHAH.. so true
but sadly most students in elbi came from other places. Only those registered there can vote for it..

Like

15 04 2012
Jojo Tagudin (@jotaghealer)

katuwa talaga. I just miss #QUIZtion. I don’t know why I’m blocked on your twitter sir. huhuhuhu!

Like

15 04 2012
professionalheckler

blocked? or probably maybe naka-private ka.

Like

15 04 2012
Theda Pilar-Pineda

Thank you for another dose of relevant entertainment that punctuates my hurried life.

Like

15 04 2012
senior60

mister heckler, pansin ko lang, pilit mong iniwasan ang

scarborough shoal, bakit?

Like

16 04 2012
etchosera

Malayo kasi yun, Senior! Ang hirap kayang pumunta doon!

Ahihihihihihi!

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16 04 2012
senior60

bakit etchos, maglalakad lang ba sya? hehe

pero duda ko, of chinese descent si mister heckler

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15 04 2012
piya

grabe ang galing mo dakilang ph, i mean this kind of joke has used many thimes pero kaw ang the best….sobrang slow ko lang talaga di ko nakuha yung kay drillon, bakit masisira yung ladder? sa bigat?,,, and i had to google pa si zeny maglayas…i love it so. madami ng bagong character ha…

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15 04 2012
libertas

Nice insights – and so true!

How many kris aquinos does it take to change a light bulb.
– Dont! – she looks better in the dark.

How many malacanan comms group…
– we’ll get back to you on that

How many grace lees…
– what an obnoxious question

How many kim jong-uns..
– one, and 1,000 technicians to clear the nuclear waste

How many transgender miss universe contestants…
– One, and 2 doctors to verify

How many pacquaios…
– none, God does it for him

How many bong revillas…
– i dont get out of bed for less than 100 million pesos

How many lito lapids…
– i am too poor to have a spare light bulb. Hehe

How many lacsons…
– first, you have to find the light bulb

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16 04 2012
amateur heckler

how many light bulbs does it take for libertas to be a professional heckler?

Like

17 04 2012
etchosera

ayyyy! meron ka rin?

Like

15 04 2012
ysobele

How many Miriam defensor santiago?
two- one to find someone else to do it for her and the other to blabber about the material significance of the light bulb and its impertinence of being busted, audacity of its presence when everything is dark.. yadah, yadah, yadah, “GTFO!!” she finger points at the cringing light bulb.
.

heck! that was the replaced one : 😦

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15 04 2012
Stella Torres (@stella_meimei)

Hindi ako makatiis:
Q. How many Taylor Kitsches does it take to change the lightbulb?
A. Five. One to change the lightbulb, one to tell a story about how he was treated badly at the store where he bought the lightbulb, and two to smack each other’s heads as soon as they realize that they bought the lightbulb at the wrong store.

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15 04 2012
Stella Torres (@stella_meimei)

And the fifth, to take the fall for everything that has happened over that lightbulb incident.

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16 04 2012
etchosera

okey na?

tapos ka na ‘teh?

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16 04 2012
Stella Torres (@stella_meimei)

Pasensya na dito. Mahina pa rin talaga ako sa math. 😉

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18 04 2012
etchosera

Okey lang yan ‘teh!

…..and i am proud of you!

At least aminado ka! Ahihihihihi!

Choke choke choke!

Like

15 04 2012
soliloquyofjoey

Brutal Fact. Haha! Now I know why you have “many” followers. Lol.

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15 04 2012
onat725

pacquaio is junking villar for binay, well what is new in this rotten philippine politics. as early as this , seems he already know the trapos’ way of politicking. by the way did he hear god talking to him regarding this switch?

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16 04 2012
etchosera

Naku koya, ano namang switch yang pinagsasabi mo?

Light bulb po ang pinag-uusapan dito!

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17 04 2012
WakaWaka

Hahaha. Welcome back etchos, we missed you.

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20 04 2012
onat725

ateh etchas este etchosera, dami nyo nang nag comment sa light biulb sasali pa ba ako? don naman ako sa ‘in other news’. tsaka teh, kung switch man sinabi ko related din yun sa bulb, di ba? cool ka lang teh, cool. magagalit si senior sa yo nyan.

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21 04 2012
etchosera

I missed me too!

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16 04 2012
Nathaniel A. Ong

Kumusta kayong lahat dyan.. God Bless!

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16 04 2012
anne2ken

Thanks you for making me laugh. 🙂

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16 04 2012
anne2ken

thank*

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16 04 2012
libertas

how many congressmen…

188, but they are still in the dark

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16 04 2012
libertas

How many raissa robles exclusives! does it take to change a light bulb

An ‘anonymous source’ says she has a little lady to do it!

How many p-noys…

None. Only the puppet master, not a puppet can make changes

Like

17 04 2012
libertas

i cant even light a candle to ph.
am a businessman, not a heckler – not even a trainee amateur one!
look forward to reading your witticisms one day!

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18 04 2012
etchosera

I am inclined (not upright) to agree on your last sentence.

Ayyyyy!

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19 04 2012
libertas

‘inclined – not upright’!
that will have them rolling in the aisles.
dont give up the day job!

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17 04 2012
checkmate

pwede po bang pa-try? para kasing masaya eh hehehe

how many phil. presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

for the sake of fairness, others have done what they could to contribute, some may have plans to do the task, did something that either made the situation slightly better or irrevocably worse and some are just too busy helping themselves and others are too busy with friends and their love life to care for others, so the answer, in my humble opinion, is none…

truth be told, instead of an answer to this question, the first things that came to my mind are another set of questions:

do we really need them to change the light bulb?

why stick with a light bulb when we can change it to “CFLs” or any modern substitute that is cost-effective? (you know what i mean)

will we ever have someone ambitious enough to not only change the light bulb but to build an effing lighthouse? (sorry i had to add that because that what i’m really feeling)

maybe we are so used to wait for them to change the light bulb for a very long time that we are, as a nation, is gradually losing its sight…

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18 04 2012
Monmon

nosebleed naman ako sa comment mo checkmate

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18 04 2012
eng-eng

Q: How many Pinoy does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and the other one is change it too BUT learn why you have to change the light bulb.

Like

22 04 2012
etchosera

Ayyyyy! Eng-eng talaga!

Nuff said!

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21 04 2012
The Rambling Philosopher

Hi! Nag blog hopping lang ako and then I stumbled upon this blog.
Haha! Benta sakin ang mga Q&A’s dito sa blog entry mo (maybe because I agree with them, lol). Sana marami pa sa susunod. 😀

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