The Professional Heckler

THE PROFESSIONAL HECKLER ‘intercepted’ the following tweets. Enjoy reading the post while he verifies the authenticity of the Twitter accounts.

TheRealPNoy:
Hahaha 47% sa Pulse Asia; 73% sa SWS. Guilty ka talaga @CJCorona. Pasalamat ka, walang survey ang #TVPatrol. Baka do’n 100% guilty ka na!

CJCorona:
@TheRealPNoy Kaya ‘di mo natututukan ang blackout sa Mindanao eh, puro ka survey, puro ka impeachment! Magtrabaho ka nga!

LawyerLacierda:
Ikaw ang magtrabaho! Wala ka nang ginawa kundi magpa-misa!

ITSMe_MidasMarquez:
@LawyerLacierda naiinggit ka? Eh ‘di magpamisa ka rin.

LawyerLacierda:
Teka lang. Bakit may nagre-react? Eh wala naman akong binanggit na pangalan. Palibhasa guilty.

ITSMe_Midas:
Whatevs! @LawyerLacierda

Megastar:
B A K L A. hahaha

ITSMe_Midas:
nagpaparinig ka ba? Hindi ka kasali sa usapan. Huwag kang makialam. @Megastar

Megastar:
@ITSMe_Midas huh? nooooo! I have bashers kasi on Twitter na sure kong pakawala ng baklang aktor who hurt my daughter. Definitely not you. “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

CongPacman:
Masyado harasment ang ginawa nila. Pa-priskun agad. Nasira ang reputasyun ko. Nananawagan ako kay Prisidinti. Dapat masibak yung BIR na yan.

Kim_BIR:
@CongPacman we’re just doing our job. Kung maisusumite n’yo ang kaukulang tax & financial records, walang problema, walang kaso.

CongPacman:
@Kim_BIR ikaw ba ang kinakausap ko? Kay Prisidinti ako nanawagan, ‘di sa ‘yu. Siyimpri, didifense mo ang tauhan mo. Ipag-pray na lang kita. Di kasi kayo nagbabasa ng Bible kaya nang-aapak kayu ng kapwa nyo. ‘Di tama ‘yun. Patawarin sana kayo ni Lord.

Megastar:
@Kim_BIR I think what you did to Manny was really unfair. Kiko and I support you @CongPacman! “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” – Luke 12:32

CongPacman:
Salamat @Migastar @Megastar. Hihihi natutuwa ako sa twits mo. Hindi ka busy? Juks lang.

CongGMA:
Hello! Howsh everybody? Masalese ku pu! Nami-missh n’yo ba ako? I’m sure you do. Shiguro, hinahanap-hanap n’yo ang tunay at totoong Working Preshident… noh? Shana makabalik ako.

LawyerLacierda:
Some people are having illusions again. No, we won’t allow evil deeds to go punished.

CongGMA:
@LawyerLacierda Tabalu keka! Manang-mana ka sa boss mong pikon at mapagpatol. Oo, ikaw ‘yon my dear student @TheRealPNoy!

TheRealPNoy:
Tinuruan ako ng aking mga magulang na gumalang maging sa mga preso. Kung masaya kayo sa pambabatikos, problema n’yo na ‘yan. @CongGMA

OfficialSWS:
73 percent of PNoys Pinoys want Corona convicted #resignNAkasi

SenatorMiriam:
Wha! Wha! Wha! @OfficialSWS

OfficialSWS:
#ignore #ignore #ignore

EduManzanoHere:
Spotted: @TheRealPinoy and @FullofGraceLee buying DVDs in Greenhills with @RonaldLlamasMovieBuff around 12noon today. They’re having fun.

LawyerLacierda:
@EduManzanoHere your tweet is pure tsismis, intriga, baseless and paninira. @TheRealPinoy was not in Greenhills. He’s in his room watching @FullofGraceLee on #Balitanghali. And @RonaldLlamasMovieBuff has never been to Greenhills. FYI: He frequents Circle C mall on Congressional Avenue, QC. #tsismoso #kuryente

Megastar:
@EduManzanoHere “Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 19:16

EduManzanoHere:
I would like to apologize for tweeting that wrong information on @TheRealPinoy. I got the info through ‘crowdsourcing.’ I should have been more careful. Btw, @Megastar, is this really you? Whatever.

Megastar:
@FullofGraceLee @LawyerLacierda @RonaldLlamasMovieBuff ignore na lang the tsismis. maiinis lang kayo. “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:13

LawyerLacierda:
@Megastar Thanks Shawie. Regards to @KikoPangilinnan. He’s been doing really great in the impeachment trial. Please tell him to keep it up.

TwitterAlert:
Say hi to our newest members, former Congressman @Aced_Barbers and former Congresswoman @CynthiahVillar. #AlamNa #tatakbo

Junjun_Tupas:
NEW HERE. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. THIS IS MY FIRST TWIT. STILL LEARNING! HELLO AT MIRO_PAGIBIG, AT SUNNYANGARA & AT ERIN_T!

SenatorMiriam:
@Junjun_Tupas Twitter Netiquette 101: As a courtesy to your three followers and other people on Twitterverse, pls refrain from using all caps. Wha! And you might want to use the @ sign when you tag people. It should not be spelled out. #bobo

Junjun_Tupas:
@SENATORMIRIAM @SenatorMiriam… sorry ma’am. i submit.

Megastar:
hi @SenatorMiriam! You’re right po. Bastos nga ang all caps. Parang nagmumura. Sabi nga po sa Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Good night po. Sleepy na ako.

TheRealPNoy:
excited for tomorrow’s target shooting with @junjunbinayiscool @leilaDLM @virgieLTO @RonaldLlamasMovieBuff and @Kim_BIR! kitakits guys!

AnakbayanKami:
Hayyy, #Noynoying time na naman.

TheRealPNoy:
Ulol! @AnakbayanKami

GobJoelReyes:
magkamatayan na pero hinding-hindi ako susuko! wala akong maaasahang hustisya sa gobyernong ito. #overmydeadbody

PingpingLacson:
@GobJoelReyes ‘tol, unsolicited advice. try mong mag-google ng mga recipe. mag-aral kang magluto para ‘di ka mainip habang nagtatago. unahin mo ang adobo at caldereta.

GobJoelReyes:
thanks Idol! @PingpingLacson

RobinsonSnake:
Thank God I’m safe. These robbers talaga. Pwede namang sa Megamall na lang. hayyssssssshsshhh

iAmHenrySy:
We’ve got it all for you. Including security. Unlike our competitor. Xie Xie!

RobinsonSnake:
@iAmHenrySy excuse me. magkaiba tayo ng market. after all, galleria is galleria. mas high-end kami ‘noh. hayysssssshsssh

FullofGraceLee:
inspired! thank you @TheRealPNoy! xoxo

theKrisAquino:
sana ‘wag pakasigurado. at sana ‘wag feeling. #walaLang

FullofGraceLee:
inspired! thank you @TheRealPNoy! xoxo ERROR. Tweet cannot be found. Try to refresh your browser.

theKrisAquino:
nakakaloka. may nag-delete ng tweet. wala naman akong pinangalanan. aha-ha-ha Anyway, Today is Saturday, March 31, day 151, we pray for Trinidad & Tobago (Carribean). As we reflect on the JOYFUL mysteries let us pray for these intentions (cont) http://tl.6u

theKrisAquino:
hindi ko kinakaya ang sarili ko! pray ako nang pray sa Twitter! aha-ha-ha

Megastar:
RT “@theKrisAquino: hindi ko kinakaya ang sarili ko! pray ako nang pray sa Twitter! aha-ha-ha” | PANSIN KO NGA RIN. ‘Musta na? Nag-iisang reyna ka na d’yan. Happy ka na? #aminin

theKrisAquino:
hindi ako pumapatol sa mga bitter. you know who you are. love love love. peace peace peace.

Megastar:
RT “theKrisAquino: hindi ako pumapatol sa mga bitter.” | I THINK YOU’re judging me. “The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.” – Psalm 7:11. Good night tweeps. Super sleepy na talaga. Mwah!

TheRealPNoy:
Good night @FullofGraceLee! Sweet dreams. #naks

FullofGraceLee:
Good night @TheRealPNoy! Thank you for being you. xoxo
.
Megastar:
Ang mushy pala ni @FullofGraceLee!

TheRealPNoy:
@Megastar Gising ka pa rin!!?? Lahat na lang yata pinatulan mo ah. Alam ba ni @KikoPangilinnan na nagtu-tweet ka?

Megastar:
@TheRealPNoy Oo naman! Kasi, sabi sa Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

theKrisAquino:
Nakakaloka! Aha-ha-ha
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“The qualities that make Twitter seem inane and half-baked are what makes it so powerful.”
~Jonathan Zittrain

Have a safe weekend!

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.