A FRIEND who recently graduated from college dreams of owning a Porsche in three years. I told him he could have it in two if he’d apply for a clerical job at the Bureau of Customs.

Did you hear about the Bureau of Customs clerk who drives a Porsche? The guy is earning no more than 10,000 pesos a month! That isn’t fair. You don’t get to own properties beyond your means. Unless you’re the Chief Justice.

You know what’s unfair? Paulino Elevado, a Bureau of Customs clerk who earns no more than P10,000 a month is driving a white Porsche. That news broke last week. Today, rumors say the Porsche-driving clerk is even dating a hot Korean chick.

Customs Commissioner Ruffy Biazon says Paulino Elevado’s statement of assets, liabilities and net worth or SALN “is clean.” It means, he doesn’t have the capacity to buy a multimillion peso vehicle. Elevado explained though he was given a 40 percent discount because the car had leaks when he acquired it.

Malacañang admonished political adviser Ronald Llamas in connection with his purchase of pirated DVDs recently. Likewise, he was strongly advised to avoid Circle C Mall, Quiapo, Metrowalk, Makati Cinema Square, and Dona Policar of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

Malacañang has officially admonished Secretary Ronald Llamas. But the controversial political adviser isn’t totally off the hook yet. DVD vendors at the Circle C Mall are filing an ‘endangerment’ suit against him.

This just in: A recent unscientific survey showed that 85 percent of Filipinos wanted Llamas fired while 15 percent wanted him disciplined. The survey has a margin of error of plus or minus AK-47.

Donaire Jr. Wins
Nonito “The Filipino” Flash Donaire Jr. scored a split decision victory over Wilfredo Vazquez of Puerto Rico to win the WBO junior featherweight title. Nonito has never lost a bout since April 2001… except for that nasty fight against his father.

You know who else is talking about a ‘split decision?’ Aleli Arroyo and Lorna Kapunan.

Iggy’s Remains
Two women are now fighting over Cong. Iggy Arroyo’s remains: Aleli Arroyo, the legal wife, and Grace Ibuna, the live-in partner. Guess who’s going to win it big. Lorna Kapunan.

Last February 4, Facebook turned 8. Or as former Congressman Romeo Jalosjos would say, “Interesting!”

Facebook, the most popular social networking site in the world is now 8 years old. If Facebook were Chinese, he’d already be working in a factory.

Facebook turned 8 years old last February 4. Unfortunately for Facebook, it’s still too young to join Facebook.

To date, Facebook has 845 million users. Wow! And Facebook isn’t even 18 yet!
“It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.”
~George Horace Lorimer

Quote of the Day
“Whatever we talk about — whether politics, economics, books or music — he’s so knowledgeable. He knows a lot. Whenever some critics say bad things about him, that he’s not aggressive or that he’s not matalino, I’d debate them and tell them he’s very smart.”
~Grace Lee on President Aquino

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Author: professionalheckler

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24 thoughts on “ADMONISHED”

  1. Ash to cash

    Iggy arroyo will be cremated , and his ashes kept in a whisky bottle.

    The ceremony will be sponsored by marlboro with helicopter fly-past.

    Grace said ‘aleli may have married iggy, but i married jose pidal so she can have the ash, and i will have the cash’

    the lawyers win either way


  2. debate
    ‘should old men get young girls to mother, protect, and entertain them. is this good for tourism from south korea’

    “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when i’m 64” ( and you are only 42!)

    No power, no presidency, and no hacienda luisita – just a wheelchair and colostomy bag!

    Poverty comes in the door, love flies out of the window


  3. 3 men discussing how often they have sex.

    Man1 ” twice a week” with a grin
    Man2 “once a month” with a frown
    Man3 “once a year” with a broad smile

    Man1 “why are you so happy about that”

    Man3 “its on my birthday – and thats today!”

    daddy p-noy – get in the viagra, and fill your boots. ‘sugar and spice’ and all things nice.


    1. mister heckler, mag story telling lang ako ha, with your

      dito sa amin, may kapitbahay akong nag-aral ng customs
      daw dahil may uncle siyang nagtrabaho doon at kanyang
      magiging backer, to make the story short, parang undergrad
      lang pero nakapasok agad at sa isang kisap-mata, nagka
      car kaagad, hindi naman porsche, ano lang, pajero


      1. ay oo nga pala etchos ano, sige chapter 2 tayo…

        later on, nakapasok ang kanyang misis sa, hold
        your breath etchos, dpwh, dito na nag-umpisa talaga
        ang living happily, nagtayo ng construction company
        ang mag-asawa at ngayon, while i am posting dumaan
        ang kanilang truck na may nakasulat na, parang, hindi
        ako masyadong sure hehe, ‘ gov’t project, don’t delay’
        or something to that effect..

        at alam mo ba etchos kung ilan na ang kanilang sasakyan,
        huwag mong sabihin na 10 na dahil sobra naman, ano pa
        naman, 8…

        and we are talking here of a young couple, about 32 to 35
        years old with only 1 daughter who is still in kinder 2..

        will they live happily ever after? malamang kay sa hindi…


  4. saturday – grace lee launches her new web site.
    sunday – media blitz and interviews about p-noy.
    monday – announces contract endorsement with bench.
    tuesday – teasers about p-noy birthday present.

    move over sis kris, daddys girl is in town, and is just as ambitious as you, – and younger, much younger!


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