PRESIDENTIAL ADVISER on political affairs Ronald Llamas was photographed by a Philippine Daily Inquirer (Bandera) reporter buying pirated DVDs at Circle C mall on Congressional Avenue, Quezon City Monday night. The vendor revealed that Llamas purchased almost P2000 worth of pirated DVDs… which was why Steven Seagal and Arnold Schwargenegger movies were nearly sold out.

To be fair, the guy (I think) is honest. When his security aides were caught with an AK-47 assault rifle in October 2011 following a road accident, presidential adviser on political affairs Ronald Llamas admitted he had at least five firearms. Anytime now, Llamas will admit to owning at least five sacks of pirated DVDs.

This just in: The Optical Media Board headed by actor Ronnie Rickets will conduct a raid at Circle C mall on Congressional Avenue in Quezon City. They will follow that up with a raid at Secretary Llamas’ residence.

Informed of the Ronald Llamas incident, President Aquino said, “Pasensiya na kayo kung hindi yan ang number one sa priority ko.. In totally unrelated information, records reveal that in high school, Llamas was voted ‘Most likely to get away with everything.’

The Oscars
The nominations for the 84th Academy Awards have been announced. Nine films will vie for Best Picture Oscar. The list includes ‘The Descendants,’ ‘The Artist,’ ‘Hugo,’ ‘War Horse,’ ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,’ ‘Moneyball,’ ‘Midnight in Paris,’ ‘The Tree of Life,’ and ‘The Help.’ Unfortunately, I haven’t seen ANY of these films. My initial plan was to buy a copy… but then again, why spend if I could just borrow from Secretary Ronald Llamas?

Supporting Actor nominees include Kenneth Branagh for ‘My Week With Marilyn;’ Nick Nolte for ‘Warrior;’ Jonah Hill for ‘Moneyball;’ Christopher Plummer for ‘Beginners;’ and Max Von Sydow for ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.’ Perhaps the biggest snub was the omission of Frank Drilon for his supporting role in the prosecution panel.

Day 5: Impeachment Trial
On Tuesday, January 24, the prosecution panel failed to present a memorandum explaining its inclusion of the ill-gotten wealth issue in Article 2 of the eight Articles of Impeachment. Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile was compelled to adjourn the trial and no prosecution witness was presented. Evidently, the defense panel scored on that one. Or as Philippine media would say it, “Day 5 goes to the prosecution.”

After less than two hours, Day 5 of the impeachment trial was adjourned. Shortly after, the prosecution team’s spokespersons were presenting their evidence to the media.

Lead prosecutor Niel Tupas Jr. asked Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile to be “more liberal” in handling the trial. Enrile retorted, “How liberal?” Tupas was sooo tempted to say, “Hmm, with a capital L?”

Before he adjourned the trial, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile said, “Kung sakaling hindi n’yo matanggap ang aking pamamalakad sa paglilitis nitong kasong ito, ako po ay open. Ibibigay ko itong upuan sa sinumang gustong pumalit sa akin.” To which Sen. Franklin Drilon said, “Ehem.”

Senator-judge Miriam Defensor-Santiago, who attended the impeachment trial for the first time, scolded the “unprepared” prosecution panel… with the exception of its spokespersons who were always prepared for press cons.

Describing her first day as a member of the impeachment court, Senator Santiago said, “I’m suffering from terminal boredom.” To which Senator Lito Lapid said, “Ako rin.”

Despite the ongoing impeachment trial of Chief Justice Corona, Senator-judge Lito Lapid signed a deal with ABS-CBN. Just to clarify, it’s a deal for a soap opera; not a deal to convict Corona.

President Barack Obama delivered his State of the Union Address (SOTU) Wednesday morning (Manila time). There was this awkward moment when the President vowed to implement reforms by filing cases against former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Fashion enthusiasts were all eyes on US First Lady Michelle Obama. She looked fab in a royal blue dress. In a press con after Obama’s SOTU, the First Lady denied rumors she bought the dress from SM.

President Kris
Kris Aquino will become the 17th president of the Republic of the Philippines according to Half-British and half-Indian psychic Robert Das. That prediction was half-bull, half-sh*t.
“The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare.”
~Thane Yost

Quotes of the Day
“Our request is for the Honorable Tribunal to be more liberal in the asking of questions by the prosecution.”
~Lead prosecutor Niel Tupas to Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile

“Kung natatandaan n’yo, tinutulungan ko pa nga ang prosecution na mapalabas nila ang gusto nilang palabasin. Baka nga magduda ang depensa na kasama ako sa prosecution. Kung ayaw n’yo, ako ay magru-ruling lang at you can reverse me.”
~ Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile

‘Wag na tayong magpa-epal dito dahil nawawalan ng gana ang mga nanonood.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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Author: professionalheckler

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  1. Nice linkage.

    Kris aquino 17th president! – as likely as:
    lito lapid becoming chairman of microsoft,
    Boyet sison saying no to a free buffet, or pacquaio taking a paternity test.

    Enrile/court ruling – drilon ignores!
    Confusion follows – discussion ensues
    1 step forward….

    Impeachment trial – BIR guilty – of incompetence

    santiago – watch the hypertension – and the overacting

    Alphalists – what a scam. How many tax avoiders, how many lists.

    Cuevas – he is going to have to ‘earn his money/reputation’ now

    Recto has already earnt his pork barrel bonus. must be big to get him to put his head above the parapet.

    Prosecutor lim – bumbling idiot or oscar acting lawyer?


  2. the timing of release of political adviser ronald llamas’ picture buying fake dvd’s could be easily connected to the ongoing impeachment trial to discredit the government and the prosecution. fingers could even point to the corona defense team as the culprit and we should expect more pictures to come out. but with or without impeachment, the fact remains that an indiscretion of llamas is a big disappointment to pnoy and his government, and hope proper action should be done.


  3. Lapids wife
    I was just passing by abs-cbn , slipped and fell in to 50,000 $. i was going to put it into one of my US accounts for safekeeping.
    Since it was such a small amount i never told tito about it.
    He is so busy helping the people and poor of this country through his tireless dedication as a senator!

    ” Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter
    might endanger the morals of an individual, the
    former invariably endangers the morals of the
    entire country”.
    Karl Kraus


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