THE FIRST TWO DAYS

TODAY’S JOKE:
>The Prosecution Panel.
There.


On Tuesday, the Senate postponed the impeachment trial of Chief Justice Corona. The prosecution panel requested the postponement because they were not ready to present evidence. Apparently, they were better prepared when it comes to presenting evidence to the media.

Remember last week when public prosecutors insisted that they were the underdogs? Today, they proved it.

Cavite Representative Elpidio Barzaga Jr, a member of the prosecution team admitted they were not prepared to present evidence for Article No. 1. To which Corona said, “I love you too!”


Cong. Elpidio Barzaga Jr was a top trending topic on Twitter Philippines following his ‘debut’ in the impeachment trial. When told of his ‘online feat,’ Barzaga was doubtful, and demanded to see the computer-generated evidence.

The prosecution panel bungled Day 2 of the Corona impeachment trial. In other news, President Aquino ordered the Budget Department to not release the solons’ pork barrel – until further notice.


Right now, not even the goodlooking spokespersons of the prosecution team can erase the perception that the team is so NOT ready for this trial.

In fact, I seriously believe that Conrado De Quiros is better prepared than these public prosecutors.

If it’s any consolation, the prosecution panel proved one thing today – it’s more fun in the Philippines!

Quote of the Day
“The prosecution is not prepared to present evidence today, the court moto propio postpones the trial until tomorrow afternoon at 2:00.”
~Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile, Presiding Officer

Pic of the Week

Atty. Midas Marquez: OMG! Narinig n’yo ‘yon Ma’am? Hindi raw handa ang prosecution hihihi
Mrs. Cristina Corona: Nakakaloka! At ‘yong Barzaga, super funnnny! Kalbo na, nagpapatawa pa! ‘Di ko kinaya!
CJ Renato Corona: Tumigil nga kayong dalawa d’yan. May mga camera! Hindi ako puwedeng matawa. Kailangan ‘underdog’ ang image.

DAY ONE
To say that January 16 was an action-packed day would be an understatement. Aside from the unknown fact that it was my birthday, it’s also the first day of Chief Justice Renato Corona’s impeachment trial. Then you have the annual Golden Globe Awards and the start of the Australian Open. The Golden Globes are 69 years old and the Aussie Open is on its 107th year. You add that up and you get the age of Corona’s legal counsel Serafin Cuevas.


You’ve got to stand in awe of Serafin Cuevas and Juan Ponce Enrile. Those guys are still sharp! Isn’t this their third lifetime already?

Give credit to the Senate President for being decisive. He was able to take full control of the proceedings. The only thing he can’t control is the smuggling of luxury cars in Cagayan.

Compared to Day 1 of the Estrada impeachment trial, observers say the opening day of Corona’s trial lacked drama and fireworks. In other news, Loren Legarda and Miriam Defensor-Santiago were absent yesterday.


I was able to monitor both the Golden Globes and the first day of the Impeachment Trial. Sorry to say this but Ricky Gervais’ opening was more impressive than Niel Tupas Jr’s.

Addressing Mr. Corona in his opening statement, Cong. Niel Tupas Jr said, “In the name of God, go!” To which God said, “Dude, ‘wag mo na akong idamay d’yan.”

The Estrada impeachment trial involved two envelopes. The Corona impeachment trial, according to a text blast, involves 188 envelopes.


Briefly Noted: Emma Stone was every inch a goddess at the Golden Globes. Prosecution panel member Marlyn Primicias-Aggabas was every inch a “ninang sa kasal” in the Senate.

Combative
Chief Justice Renato Corona delivered a fiery, combative speech before a throng of supporters outside the Supreme Court Monday morning. At one point, he was interrupted by an avid supporter who shouted, “I love you CJ!” And Atty. Midas Marquez was like, “Hindi ako ‘yon huh!”

In his speech, the Chief Justice accused three individuals, whom he refused to identify, of conspiring to unseat him. A vehement denial was immediately issued by ABS-CBN, ANC, and dzMM.

Observers believe Chief Justice Corona’s tirade was directed at President Aquino, DOTC Secretary Mar Roxas and Associate Justice Antonio Carpio. Or as Vice President Binay would say, “Balay Group.”

On ANC, Sec. Mar Roxas just laughed off the allegation that he is a co-conspirator to oust the Chief Justice. He can’t even oust Jojo Ochoa!

In Other News
The 69th Golden Globe Awards was held Monday morning (Manila time). George Clooney won Best Actor for the family drama “The Descendants.” A disappointed Laguna Governor ER Ejercito accused Kris Aquino of influencing the jurors to vote for Clooney.

“The Descendants” was named Best Motion Picture-Drama at the 69th Golden Globe Awards… to the utter shock of the producers of “Manila Kingpin: The Asyong Salonga Story” who expected that their project would win the award.

Meryl Streep won yet again. She’s been winning for like forever. The Binays can totally relate.

The Kardashians
There have been rumors that Khloe Kardashian is not really a Kardashian. If that’s true, then she’s probably a Gutierrez.
———————————————————————————–
“If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.”
~Lord Halifax

Quote of the Day
“Tama, isa akong malaking hadlang. Malaki akong hadlang sa mga nagnanais na hindi maipamahagi ang lupain sa Hacienda Luisita. Malaki din akong hadlang sa nagmamadaling maging bise-presidente ngunit talo noong 2010. At huwag na tayong lumayo: malaki din akong hadlang sa matagal nang nag-aambisyong maging Chief Justice. Sila pong tatlo ang nagsasabwatan upang mapatalsik ako sa pwesto.”
~Chief Justice Renato Corona

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Author: professionalheckler

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47 thoughts on “THE FIRST TWO DAYS”

  1. Pingback: THE FIRST TWO DAYS

  4. Happy birthday PH. Your cake is in the post!

    Some initial thoughts from the ‘honourable’ senators

    Legarda – when she eventually makes her entrance! – ‘ does my bum look big in this. Sorry am late – vicky belo needed overtime, but single and ready to mingle! Age no barrier’

    Enrile – ‘ hope i live long enough to see a conclusion’

    Estrada – ‘ my chance to shine’ (enrile’s shoes)

    Lapid – ‘wake me up before i go-go’ (to sleep)

    Santiago – ‘ gypsies, tramps & thieves – and thats just the prosecution’

    Drillon – ‘evidence – no need – just convict’

    Honasan – ‘ its nearly as exciting as the coups i like to plot. Hehe’

    Revilla – ‘show me the money. Have you seen my film’

    Pia cayetano – ‘ i know nothing – ask my brother’

    Arroyo – ‘its a joke – and a bad one’

    Trillanes – ‘i think what the public thinks’

    Osmena – ‘ no-one cares what i think’

    Escudero – ‘ i think 2013’

    Sotto – ‘ i think about my tv career’

    Villar – ‘ where am i. I think its time for a drink’

    Pimentel – ‘ i just do as i am told’

    Marcos – ‘ i dont think, i plot’

    Angara – ‘ i am too old to think. Let me rest’

    Cayetano bro – ‘ isnt my sister hot’

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    1. …you forgot these four honorable senators:
      Recto,- ‘thank god, early adjournment, ate vi is waiting’
      Pangilinan – ‘noted. shawie is waiting too.’
      Lacson – ‘this impeachment is good, it made them forget dacer’
      Guingona – ‘what? gma is not included here?’

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  5. Pingback: THE FIRST TWO DAYS « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

  10. Golden impeachment globes – front runners

    Enrile – most statesmanlike

    Karen jimeno – best eye candy (and brains – will go far)

    Tupas – best comedy act, and most convincing female vocal impersonator

    aggabas – worst dressed – call the fashion police!

    cuevas – worst haircut – call a barber!

    Best contribution – legarda, by her non-attendance

    Award for Overacting – revilla (clear favourite)

    Best supporting actor – revilla’s glasses

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    1. hahaha!!! winner, ‘to, koya libertas !!!
      i’m now officially a fan of yours!
      (‘wag magseselos, ph!). lol =]
      tama ka about tupas…
      lagi kong napagkakamalang female ang nagsasalita.
      dami ko ring tawa sa “call the fashion police!”
      saka ang lupit nung kay legarda! ouch daw! haha!

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  11. ah sobrang tawa ko dito, wagi na naman to idol!
    Happy Birthday mo pala? happy birthday to my favorite cutest genius!

    panalo yung caption nung tatlo- midas mrs&mr crown, love it

    did you get senpres enriles answer to tupas? something like, it’s a product of my wild imagination or something to that effect,

    third lifetime? vampires? wala ba silang bella?

    kulet ni cayetano ang aga magpapogi..

    hindi pala soap ang inaabangan ko, tragic comedy pala!

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  14. as much as how i wish that prosecution’s booboo yesterday should not have happened, but it did. before the trial they made so much noise waving around their evidences regarding the cj’s wealth but come judgment day, they flopped. very pathetic. drilon said it was a ‘birthpain’, defense team call it initial victory, i call it inefficiency…

    belated happy birthday ph!

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  20. ang buhay ay prang larong PITIK-BULAG……..kahit nakikita na natin,ayaw pa rin natin tignan…bakit? kasi takot sa katotohanan……di ba? maigi pa ang mga kapatid nating bulag talaga….nagpupumilit makakita kahit liwanag lang…..yan ang aking pananaw sa ating gobyerno at korte suprema…..magulo sila pareho…di nila alam na tayong mga pilipino ang totohanang maaapektuhan…..still…..marami pa ring nagugutom,walang bahay,walang trabaho,WALANG EDUKASYON…….pagkatapos,kpag nakialam ang SIMBAHANG KATOLIKA….sila nman ang magkakampihan……!!!
    yn ang tinatawag na sakit ng ating lipunan…pagmahirap ka talagang mahirap at kawawa…kung mayaman ka sa pilipinas kya mo paikutin ang batas…..
    wla na yng lunas maliban na lang kung ititira lang sa Pilipinas ai yng mga wla pang sapat na pagiisip….pro di naman yun mangyayari..
    TAO ANG NAGPAPAHIRAP SA KAPWA NYA TAO,,,matatalino ang mga Pilipino,,,pero BOBO sa katotohanan,,,matalino sa panlilinlang,,,kadalasan kse nyan happened sa ting gobyerno,,,kapag di magkakatiket sa pulitika ang tumama,,,pag upo sa pwesto,,nagkakanya kanya na,,,watak watak ang katwiran,,,kya ung mapera lalo pang nagkakapera,,,at ung mahirap lalo pang naghihirap,,,

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      2. haha!!! galing mo, ateh etchosera!
        nagdadrama si kenyo eh,
        ginawa mong comedy bigla!

        [background music ni koyah kenyo:
        “bulag, pipi at bingi”…
        ‘yung violin interlude/bridge nu’n]

        **** dito dapat ‘tong comment na ‘to.
        naligaw sa isang comment mo, ateh etchosera! ****

        Like

  23. This is life, we lived to know the truth. I’m so much informed & entertained by the writer of this news article entitled “The First Two Days”. I would like to say, Keep it up. And I believed that old writer’s never dies, they just keep on writing…I love you all & let the truth prevail.

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  34. Pingback: notes from johnny’s day « chasing rainbows and butterflies

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