NEW YEAR’S EVE


INTERVIEWED BY ANC’s Lynda Jumilla, President Aquino says his No. 1 wish for 2012 is employment opportunities for Filipinos. To prove his sincerity, he then announces an opening in the Supreme Court.

Even before the impeachment trial of Chief Justice Renato Corona could begin, President Aquino has already instructed his legal team to look for a possible replacement. In other news, Associate Justice Antonio Carpio is looking forward to a fruitful 2012.

Journalists describe Chief Justice Renato Corona’s legal team as “powerhouse.’ But Malacañang is unfazed. After all, it has the power, and it has the House.

New Year
It will be another exciting New Year’s Eve in the Philippines. While most Filipinos are ushering in 2012 with ‘sinturon ni Hudas,’ ‘bawang,’ whistle bomb, ‘Goodbye Universe,’ and ‘Goodbye Philippines,’ President Aquino is welcoming it with “Goodbye Corona.”

Just so you know, Senators Joker Arroyo and Juan Ponce Enrile almost got injured during last year’s New Year’s Eve revelry. Somebody mistook them for ‘super lolo.’

Atty. Ferdie Topacio is spending New Year’s Eve at Times Square in New York this year. He wants to see the ball drop.

Top 5 Signs You’re at a New Year’s Eve Party in Malacañang

No. 5: The piped-in music is ‘Estudyante Blues.’

No. 4: When you ask for a beer bottle opener, people tell you, “Look for Secretary Jojo Ochoa!”

No. 3: Josh.

No. 2: There’s a sign at the entrance that reads, “Valerie Concepcion Not Allowed”

And the No. 1 sign that you’re at a New Year’s Eve party in Malacañang…

The President is having the time of his life… mainly because ang New Year’s Eve ay isa sa mga rare occasions kung saan puwede siyang magpaputok!

Just Fair
A Social Weather Stations survey showed that the government’s treatment of former President Arroyo with regard to the case filed against her was “only fair.” That’s the opinion of 7 out of 10 Filipinos. The other three were Topacio, Horn and Lambino.

The Fugitive
Authorities have yet to locate retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. The government has offered a 500 thousand-peso bounty for his capture. Nobody knows his whereabouts but closest friends claim Palparan is really excited to learn how to cook adobo, afritada, and empanada.

Innocents
December 28 is Holy Innocents Day – a day to remember the massacre of the innocents. To commemorate the event, Mo Twister is uploading another video on YouTube.

GMA Says
GMA Network has denied Internet rumors that businessman Manny Pangilinan has acquired GMA 7. The network also denied reports there’s an ongoing negotiation between GMA owners and MVP. It seems that GMA has denied everything… except for DJ Mo’s allegation against Rhian Ramos.

Overseas…
North Korean dictator Kim Jong-iL was buried today. Loyal supporters who attended the funeral will each receive a vial of uranium.

Thousands of people perished under Kim Jong-iL’s oppressive regime. Sorry, but the mass hysteria puts the fun in Kim Jong-iL’s FUNeral.

Kim Jong-iL has been laid to rest. In case you missed it, the North Korean dictator will be succeeded by his son, Bongbong Jong-iL.
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“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.”
~Bill Vaughan

Have a safe New Year!

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Author: professionalheckler

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18 thoughts on “NEW YEAR’S EVE”

  1. Hey PH, Kris Aquino did it again. Dingdong Dantes won the best actor award in the MMFF. Kris had been ranting about the acting of Dingdong for days and he won. Just like what Kris did last year on Ai-ai ( remember she also won last year after Kris had been insinuating that she would leave the best acting award to Ai-ai).

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  2. Kung di napatalsik ang mga Marcos ay ganoon din ang nangyari sa atin… marami ang mag-iiyakan sa libing ni marcos at ang media ay mag rereport ng mga “strange natural phenomena” at maraming pilipino ang maniniwala.
    Queen Imelda takes over at mga royalty bigla sina Imee, Bongbong at Irene.
    Come to think of it… pati si Borgy “cocaine” Manotoc ay magiging principe na din. This country would have been named “Maharlika”.

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