DEAR SANTA/LOVE, GLORIA

FORMER PRESIDENT Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will be spending Christmas at the hospital. It’s the closest she could get to a ‘white Christmas.’

The court has reportedly allowed Mrs. Arroyo access to television. When she heard this, Leah Navarro offered to donate a Black and White TV.

The Arroyo family vowed to make it ‘Christmas as usual’ for the detained former president. There will be a salu-salo, a short program, and games. I heard that the Arroyo grandchildren really wanted to play ‘Trip to Jerusalem’ but the DOJ reminded them of an existing watch list order.

And believe it or not, those kids also wanted to do palo sebo. The former First Gentleman will provide the sebo.

Top 10 Christmas Wishes/Messages Sent by Mrs. Arroyo to Santa Claus
(List forwarded to The Professional Heckler by Santa Claus himself)

No. 10:
Dear Santa,
Gusto kong makilala sina Valerie Concepcion at Francine Prieto. I want to personally thank them. Wala lang.
Little Gloria

No. 9:
Dear Santa,
Hindi ako makagalaw. Limitado ang aking kilos. Sa sitwasyon kong ito, nawa’y manatiling faithful ang asawa ko. Ilayo mo siya sa tukso.
Little Gloria

No. 8:
Dear Santa,
I hope maging stronger ang relasyon ni Secretary De Lima sa boyfriend niya. Kung pwede nga Santa, mag-asawa na siya para mabawasan ang pagiging moody niya na ako lagi ang biktima. Please.
Little Gloria

No. 7:
Dear Santa,
Makarma sana ang mga kongresistang isa-isang tumalikod sa akin. Mga oportunista! May araw din sila.
Little Gloria

No. 6:
Dear Santa,
Uy, Mareng Juliet Gopez-Cervantes, ‘musta ka na? Miss ko na kayo. Visit naman kayo rito sa VMMC. Wala akong cell kaya ‘di kita ma-text eh!
Little Gloria

(Sumagot si Santa: “Dear Little Gloria, Sa North Pole mo na-send ang iyong letter sa iyong doktora. Malayo kami sa St. Luke’s. Tanga! – Santa)

No. 5:
Dear Santa,
Pahabain mo pa ang buhay ni Father Joaquin Bernas. His insights have been very helpful.
Little Gloria

No. 4:
Dear Santa,
Patnubayan mo ang kalusugan ni Atty. Ferdie Topacio. Sa mga pagkakataong ako ay sad, napapatawa ako ng kanyang mga banat. Ilayo mo sa disgrasya ang kanyang mga bayag.
Little Gloria

No. 3:
Dear Santa,
Bahala ka na kay Rene Corona. Mabait na tao naman ‘yon. Maaasahan sa lahat ng oras. Paki-assist na lang sa impeachment.
Little Gloria

No. 2:
Dear Santa,
Hindi ko gusto ang inaasta ng Judge Mupas na ‘yon. I smell conviction. Kunin mo na s’ya.
Little Gloria

And the No. 1 Christmas wish/message sent by Mrs. Arroyo to Santa Claus…
Dear Santa,
Big favor naman. Nagpabili ako ng kahun-kahong pakete ng sigarilyo. Ito lang ang alam kong paraan para makaganti ako. Pakidala naman sa bahay ng pangulo. Thanks.
Little Gloria

CPP Anniversary
Founded on December 26, 1968, the Communist Party of the Philippines is celebrating its anniversary on Monday. Congratulations to the CPP for sustaining a 43-year-losing streak.

Palparan on the Run
The hunt is on for retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. Immigration personnel have been alerted for a possible passenger whose face will be partly covered by a camouflage scarf.

MMFF
Kris Aquino says her film fest entry ‘Segunda Mano’ will keep moviegoers on the edge of their seats; feeling nervous because of uncertainty. Apparently, the film was inspired by the Aquino government.

I intend to watch Kris Aquino’s movie ‘Segunda Mano.’ I wanna get scared and laugh at the same time.
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“Revenge is a confession of pain.”
~Latin Proverb

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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