FINAL DESTINATION

Breaking News: Scientists at the Italian Institute for Nuclear Physics confirm there’s such a thing faster than the speed of light. It’s Judge Jesus Mupas of Pasay City RTC Branch 112.


Reviled by probably, a majority of her countrymen for her alleged sins against them, former Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was served an arrest warrant Friday… alive. Take that Libyans!

A warrant of arrest was issued by the Pasay City RTC even before the Arroyos could get to NAIA for their 5PM flight Friday. If it’s any consolation, that saved them time, effort, and their lawyer’s testicle.

When Mrs. Arroyo’s lawyers heard that a warrant of arrest was to be served Friday evening, they reportedly told the former president, “Brace yourself.”

Apparently, Judge Mupas found probable cause against Mrs. Arroyo based on the statements given by the likes of Lintang Bedol, former Ampatuan Sr’s aide Norie Unas, and Zaldy Ampatuan – or as defense lawyers would say, “Acquittal.”

It’s one humiliation after another for Mrs. Arroyo. First, she was barred from leaving by Immigration people. Second, she was ordered arrested. And for almost a week now, her infamy has been eclipsed by her lawyer’s balls.

At press time, Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is under hospital arrest. At least four guards have been stationed at the St. Luke’s Correctional Facility.

Ahh, life. One day you’re the most powerful person in the country, the next day some Foto-Me employee is taking your mug shot.

On Friday, Cong. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was booked for a flight to Singapore. The next day, she was ‘booked’ for a trip to the Southern Police District detention cell.

On Saturday afternoon, Mrs. Arroyo underwent booking procedures. Her mug shots were taken and she was fingerprinted. Expecting the worst, she allegedly phoned a friend and asked, “Will I be visited by 1 million?”


Lawyer Ferdinand Topacio appealed to the media to not release the former president’s mug shots. The police will ask the court to decide on the request… while ABS-CBN News will ask the public to decide via Monday’s TV Patrol poll.

Mrs. Arroyo has been placed under hospital arrest. President Aquino can’t wait for the trial, the verdict, and his next SWS performance rating.

Senior Supt. Joel Coronel of the CIDG says security is kept at a minimum since Mrs. Arroyo is not a flight risk or suicidal. In totally unrelated news, security has been beefed up outside the residence of Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

Experts say if proven guilty, Mrs. Arroyo could face up to 40 years in prison. In Hollywood, that’s 203 Kim Kardashian marriages.


A day after the Comelec en banc voted to file electoral sabotage charges against him, former Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos was rushed to an unidentified hospital. When he heard about the Comelec’s decision, his blood pressure allegedly shot up to 180 over his dead body he won’t just surrender without a fight.
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“There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

Quote of the Day
“Isusumbong po namin sa Korte Suprema ang ginawa sa amin. Hihingi kami uli ng TRO para ipa-suspend ang all legal effects ng [actions] ng joint DOJ-Comelec panel.”
~Lawyer Ferdinand Topacio, counsel for Mrs. Arroyo

Have a great weekend!

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Author: professionalheckler

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24 thoughts on “FINAL DESTINATION”

  1. …weder2 lng tlga ang buhay. kung anong itinapon mo babalik at babalik lahat sau pagdating ng itinakdang weder.

    …dinaya niya si FPJ, ipinakulong si Joseph, NBN-ZTE, fertilizer scam, PNP chopper deal, bags of money given to her mga alipores, etc.–she enjoyed the tumultuous fruit.

    …now GMA’s weder has come.

    Like

  2. Nice – especially the speed of light reference – although it will only rub salt into the wounds of the farmers – 8 years and counting and still no sign of justice.
    I guess the aquino corruption programme is now concluded and its back to business/scams as usual for the KKK’s.

    If flight is a sign of guilt, then i guess hypochondria is a sign of cowardice and desperation. Blood pressure, depression, suicidal thoughts – all par for the course. Failing that breast implants exploding and sudden amnesia may come in handy. Arroyo, abalos, ampatuan, ligots. What sick people!
    Medical dictionary now a module on law degrees.

    I nearly had a heart attack when i received my power bill. Now that is stress at being robbed blind for brownouts!

    Like

      1. From todays abs-cbn website
        Suggest you read if you dont know things or listen to those that do, but dont comment on things you do not know about.
        I am usually right. I make sure i check my facts first.and i do not lie.

        ” while Mindanao,
        which is now suffering daily power outages,
        immediately needs 600 megawatts of additional
        electric power. The electricity shortage in the
        southern island will reach 20 percent of peak
        demand by next year.”

        Like

      2. you maybe only usually right but not always….

        so you got your information from abs-cbn website …

        while i read from other sources though not extensively,
        i watch gma news channels as often as possible and again,
        in recent months there is no mention about brownouts…

        though i’m in doubt, maybe you are reading back issues
        of abs website because usually, all the channels carries the
        same news…

        so, it’s either that i am wrong or you are lying…

        Like

  3. Wow. Arroyo must be a junior doctors dream. So many things to study in one patient.
    The list so far
    Hypoparathyroidism
    Anorexia
    Blood pressure/hypertension
    Kidney infection
    Depression
    Diarrheoa
    Dwarfism
    Narcissism
    Kleptomania

    Its a good job she didnt embark on her world travels being so sick!

    And deteriorating every day according to the fat guy!
    The medical list will get longer, and this is still what they see as their ‘get out of the country’ card

    Like

  4. naaalala ko lan nung elementary pa ako, may kakalase akong suplada at bully talaga…wala sa mga kaklase ko yata na gusto siya except yung mga sipsip kasi mayaman din itong girl na ito. Nung nahuli siya for cheating in a project, hasus! nagpa-awa ng nagmukhang kawawa at ginawang villain pa yung teacher na nakahuli sa kanya. Hindi ko kaklase si Goyang pero parang stereotypical ang case niya—on a grander level.

    Like

    1. @Anonymous:

      …prang napaka-uncertain nman ng justice system kpag ganito ang premise na gagamitin.

      …dapat pla tanggalin na ang lahat ng mga court of justices, ung sandigang bayan, ung mga law making chambers ksi patatawarin nman pla ang mga nagkakasala ng 7 x 70 times.

      …prang hindi nman aplikable in this case ung verse na ito.

      Like

  5. continue heckling to educate, inform and entertain. pinoy ka ba? kc your style thrives during crisis, eh. pinoy kasi ako, eh. sawang-sawa na ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko, leaders, politicians, media people…. let us be responsible with our opinions. let us be the change that we wanna see. okay ba mga pips?

    Like

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