WHILE WE WAIT for further developments in the ongoing saga that is the Arroyos v Leila De Lima (v Korte Suprema), why don’t we cool things down a bit with this fliptop rap battle? Enjoy!

Match No. 1: Atty. Edwin Lacierda vs. Atty. Ferdie Topacio

Attorney Lacierda:
I heard na feeling mo raw ay isa kang winner
Matapos na mag-trend itlog mo sa Twitter
I won’t even dare or attempt to imagine
Maitim mong bola solong naglalambitin!

Attorney Topacio:
Kung maka-eeew ka naman, para kang bakla eh
Mas madaldal ka pa kesa kay Abi Valte
Katahimikan, katahimikan, kung ayaw mong mabugbog
Insecure ka siguro sa famous kong betlog!

Attorney Lacierda:
Outrageous! Distasteful! Para ka namang gutom
Seryosong usapan, sahugan ba ng scrotum?!?
Malinaw ang aming stand, ‘di kami papayag
Ma-cite man ng contempt; ‘paputol ka man ng bayag!

Attorney Topacio:
As I’ve said…
Ang “itlog quote” na ‘yon ay isang figure of speech
Huwag mo nang palakihin, you son of a bitch
Ang mahalaga’y wagi kami sa ruling ng hukuman
Masanay na lang kayo, talunang Malacañang!
Break it down.

What’s “itlog” mama? Meron ba ako no’n?
What did you say Bimby? Sa’n mo narinig ‘yon?
I heard it on TV mama! Is itlog masarap?
Stop it Bimby! And don’t watch TV when I’m not here!
Good night Mama.
Good night Bimby.

Match No. 2: Justice Sec. Leila De Lima vs. Mrs. Elena Bautista-Horn

Secretary De Lima:
Sinong mas powerful?? Sure akong alam mo na
Isang tawag ko nga lang, biyahe’y napurnada
Sumisikat ka na, tama na ‘yang papansin
Baka naman gusto mong tumakbo sa 2013?

Elena Bautista-Horn:
Look who’s talking…
‘Di ba’t ikaw ang gustong maging senadora?
Kakaupo mo pa nga lang, pumupostura ka na
Powerful?!? Teka lang, baka ’power tripping’
And lest you forget madam, you lost in the voting
It’s 8-5 darling!

Secretary De Lima:
Grabe ang loyalty mo, kakaiba ka nga Len
Wait lang dear, ‘yang suweldo mo, saan kaya galing?
And please, ‘wag mong ipagmalaki ang boto ng SC
I’m ready for more rumble, this war could get ugly!

Elena Bautista-Horn:
Puro dakdak, puro banta, inaaliw n’yo ang tao
Wala pa ngang napa-file kahit isa man lang kaso
Don’t threaten us, or the SC of a looming brawl
Makulay ka lang magsalita, kasingkulay ng iyong shawl!
Break it down.

What’s ‘brawl’ mama? I heard it in the news today.
That’s bad Bimby. It’s when two people make away.
Oh, it’s like you and papa when you’re pasaway?
Gosh, who told you that?
Nobody mama. I saw you when you brawled before.
Whaaat? Not true! Good night na nga Bimby.
Good night mama.

Match No. 3: Mr. President vs. Self

Uy! And’yan ka pa pala, hindi ko maramdaman
Guerra na sa NAIA; ikaw, parang wala lang
Ano bang bago sa ‘tin, would you like to share
I’m just concerned dude; be thankful I still care.

Mr. President:
‘Di ko yata gusto ang iyong mga hirit
Para kang Supreme Court na nakakagalit
FYI: De Lima is my alter ego
Whatever I say, believe me, she’ll follow!

Wow, accomplishment! Papalakpak na ba ‘ko?
Eh ‘yong 10.4 milyong nagugutom na tao?

Mr. President:
Dinky’s in charge. ‘Wag kang mag-alala.
Nahahalata ko lang, antagonistic ka.

Nagsasabi lang nang totoo, antagonistic na agad ako?
‘Di ba pwedeng “honest” muna sa nakikita sa ‘yo?
Oh by the way, miss ko na ang mga chicks natin.
Wala pa bang bago? Masyado ka nang malihim.

Mr. President:
My priority is my job, ‘wag ka ngang makialam
Kung gusto mong ma-inlove, labas na ako d’yan!

Nagbibiro lang ako ‘tol; ba’t ba ang sungit mo?
‘La naman akong neck brace ah, and I’m not an Arroyo!

Mr. President:
Ang kulit mo kasi, para kang si Bimby!
I’ll deal with you na lang when I get back from Bali.

In fairness… buma-Bali na si Noynoy
Baka naman dala mo pa ang ‘yong favorite toy!

Mr. President:
Ulol! Tigilan mo na ‘yang PSP issue na ‘yan.
That is so history… panahon pa ng halalan.

Last question na lang bago ka tumalikod
Kapag si GMA bumalik, magpapaputol ka ba ng itlog?

Mr. President:
Ha-ha-ha! Talagang napatawa mo ako ngayon!
Bakit? Kamukha ko ba si Topacio na hawig kay Doraemon?

Kung makapanlait ka naman, feeling mo ikaw si Gerald Anderson
Alam mo kung sinong kamukha natin? Sino pa? Eh ‘di si Homer Simpson!

Mr. President:

Break it down.
“This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.”
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Quote of the Day
“Kaibigan ko si Secretary De Lima. But in her zeal to carry out instructions of her superior, I think she may have overstepped the bounds of our system. I feel grief stricken. I feel like slashing my wrist. I feel like slitting my throat. That is what we were taught in law school. We simply have to obey the law no matter how we feel about it. In our tripartite system of democracy, whatever the Supreme Court says prevails. Last night I wanted to commit suicide. You asked whether she is guilty of contempt, yes, absolutely.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

Enjoy the rest of the week. Peace and justice to all. Merry Christmas!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


  1. When i asked a friend of mine – who employs 50,000 personnel worldwide – he said it would be more difficult to find any other country so hell bent on self destruction than the philippines, and with no clarity of purpose or direction.
    Another at the same meeting said it is just a soap opera which is best avoided. These are the global movers and shakers. Wake up and smell the coffee, or eat rice for evermore. Time is running out – seriously
    Needless to say his HQ in asia is in singapore and he refuses to do business here. His stories of little people – mayors etc – wanting a payback are legion. He has never done, and so the country is deprived of investment, jobs and pharmaceuticals. A sad reflection that whilst the ‘elite’ play legal ping pong and personal vendettas people struggle and starve.
    Or live it up in las vegas on the money which should have fed a child. No values, no conscience. Enough is enough


    1. I am so glad that I took my business to Vietnam and Indonesia and have liquidated most assets in the PHL. While the PHL is into bread and circus through cash -dole-outs and intramural of the oligarchs and showbiz, Vietnam and Indonesia are leveling the playing field, stabilizing the macroeconomic environment and reducing red tape and corruption. I agree with the assessment that doing business in the PHL is very difficult and its economic prospect is bleak.


      1. naku hikata, kararating mo lang gusto mo agad away hahaha

        hindi katakataka dahil sabi mo nga, catholicism ang dahilan
        kung bakit ‘ in deep shit ‘ pa rin ang ‘failippines’, whatever that

        so, i will echo na rin fandong’s question? why are you still here?
        or, are you already there? a chef in one of the world’s 5star hotels?
        with your intelligent cat?


  2. I just seen the 2010 IMF data on per capita and learn that Indonesia has already surpassed the PHL by large margin and Vietnam is already closely trailing behind, While PHL is entertaining itself with the politics of its oligarchs, Indonesia and Vietnam have apparently been working on their economics The way things are moving now, PHL will be at the bottom in SE Asia in 10-15 years


    1. I thought the worst thing that any person could do is give up on one’s country. I was wrong. Nothing beats badmouthing your country of birth, the country which nourished one’s childhood days, the country which provided one’s sustenance and education, the country of one’s parents who nurtured you to be what you are. If that’s how you felt, manahimik ka na lang sana. That’s class. Trumpeting how you feel bad about your former (?) country shows your lack of decency…baduy ka!


      1. correction: “feel” not “felt”
        clarification: nothing bad about saying negative things about one’s
        country if it’s done in the right way, but doing it after one
        has left is just like resigning from a
        company after being employed for so long and
        discrediting it in public by comparing it to other
        supposedly better companies
        food for thought: are vietnam and indonesia really as
        business-friendly as they are described?


      2. And in the country where I am domiciled, suppressing ones opinion pertaining to its governance is not considered class but failure to exercise one’s freedom of expression — a necessity in the feedback loop of any democratic society. And if pointing out the failings of the country’s system has no class, what would that make of the Egyptians and Libyans and so many other peoples who in various times in history who opted for system change and in many cases even using violence?.


      3. And yes even children in this country are encouraged to express their opinions about their parents. For it is in raising issues and resolving these that innovations are made in the way things are managed. The process is part not only of a loving but also of a progressive relationship. I understand though that in the Philippines, the oligarchy and the church would rather use intimidation, coercion, suppression and manipulation so that people would not exercise their claim-making functions and just accept the social order of extreme poverty and income disparity as natural.to preserve their wealth and power


      4. Who says we need to suppress criticism of this country? If we need to point out its deficiencies in order to uplift, so be it. But its entirely different to get out of the country where you made yourself who you are, then trash it altogether. “Baduy” is a tame word for that. Ingrate is more apt.

        And do you really believe that Vietnam and Indonesia give their people more freedom of expression than we do here in the Philippines? You must be joking if you do. I can even exercise my right to express my opinion of you (and you’re not even my parent!).

        For your information, we do not accept ” the extreme order of poverty and income disparity as natural”. That’s the reason why we stay here, laboring to make things better. We criticize ourselves, yes. But we work things out to make change. We may not be successful yet. But, hopefully, we will get there. We will never accomplish that goal if we abandon our country. And make believe that equally corrupt, albeit institutionalized, Vietnam and Indonesia are countries of paradise.

        Really, Vietnam and Indonesia have freedom of speech more the Philippines?


      5. excuse me, makisawsaw lang…

        dito ba sa atin paul may suppression of freedom of expression?
        hindi ha, nasobrahan nga tayo ng freedom kaya mga tao mga abosado na…

        ‘what would that make of the Egyptians and Libyans who in many
        cases uses violence? siempre wala silang class


      6. at nasali na naman ang oligarchy and church, personally,
        am already 67 pero bakit hindi ko naramdaman ang mga
        ‘ intimidation etc na yan,

        at ano ba kasing ‘ extreme poverty ‘ ang sinasabi mo paul,
        you are describing siguro doon sa may africa, ano ba,
        but of course, may mga pobre talaga, masko naman doon
        sa america mayroon din…


      7. And you consider calling somebody “ingrate” as class? And I suppose you are referring to millions of Filipinos who like me opted to leave because the government monopolized by political dynasties has never been able to give their families decent lives and future


      8. ‘ i only do business in Vietnam…………………………
        is Switzerland ‘

        why paul, why of all places, vietnam and indonesia?
        because you feel that you are more educated than
        the people there and therefore you can easily manipulate

        hahaha batobato sa langit, ang tamaan may bukol


      9. Bottom line: If you abandon the Philippines, taking with you all possible business opportunities that can help your and your parents country of birth, then you forfeit your stake in our country. Don’t act as if you care because you don’t. And as far as we’re concerned, you have no right looking after your parents properties in our homeland. You don’t even have the right to step on our soil because someone who have nothing but misgivings in this country is persona non grata.
        Your statement that the Philippines owe you more than you owe it is blatantly revealing of your arrogance. Even dogs go home to die. Hope you won’t do it here.


      10. And calling attention to a government run by the same families for generations and pushed millions of extreme poverty makes one a persona non grata? I can see that you are madly in love with the corrupt and perverted political and economic system of the Philippines but you do not have to be blind.


      11. Business to help the country of birth? Done that for 12 years. 45% went to taxes, fees and government contributions and 35% to corruption in various forms, One politician wanted it straight 3% of the gross. Another prevented me from acquiring transport vehicles because he wanted to acquire these himself, lease it to me at the rate of the installment that he was paying for these. Even a city engineer did not require the work area a sprinkler as fire prevention so that I could pay him yearly for hiding the “violation”. I can tell you tens of stories on these practices of big politicians, bureaucrats and even police officers from my experience there. My sister advised me that if I cannot play it dirty, I should not do business in the Philippines because that is how it is. A business associate in Zamboanga told me that the ABB kidnapped his son a for a ransom but its was over when it was paid. The government people continuously get ransom.money from him. Help the country by doing business? Maybe perpetuate a corrupt system and enrich the politician. If you want ton help the country stand up and be counted on changing the system


      12. hahaha natawa ako, ang sinungaling mo paul, pinagmukha
        mo kaming mga tanga, yes paul, you are a liar, akala mo
        siguro ikaw lang ang nagnenegosyo, kami din naman though
        hindi lang siguro ka multi-million pesos business as yours…

        alam mo paul ha, sa mga pinagsasabi mo ngayon, nag doubt
        na talaga ako if you are really into business, imagine you are
        residing in switzerland but doing business in vietnam and
        indonesia, matagal mo na siguro kaming niluluko, yun pala
        nandito ka lang sa pilipinas, just an ordinary employee maybe,
        madali lang naman manluko dito sa internet di ba paul?
        pero sa kalaunan, mahuhuli at mahuhuli ang mga manloloko..


      13. Just some basic info @ Paul Hikatomo:

        1) Switzerland is a country whose economy is fueled by dirty
        money stashed in its banks by tyrants all over the world.
        Level playing field? Try to learn what Swiss company SICPA,
        a security firm specializing in tax stamps and ink currency, did
        to Turkey, Brasil and (attempted to) in the Philippines;

        2) The ABB do not ask for ransom. They just hit you with a
        45 caliber handgun in between the eyes, if possible;

        3) The ABB never operated in Zamboanga. They were confined
        to Manila, Cebu and Davao when they were active;

        4) For more than a decade now, the ABB has surrendered to
        the government and became a breakaway group from the
        Communist Party of the Philippines.

        Hence, you were just inventing the stories that you were saying. In short, YOU ARE A FRAUD! I hate talking to a fraud.


    2. And if you really want to know your country more, open at least a medium size business there and after three years tell me if I am a disgrace or is it the politicians and bureaucrats running your country who made your people’s lives so miserable. And if you tell me through this blog that you did it and everything is played by the rules, the next day I will be there to get a business permit.


  3. Why is Malacanang and the Justice Department
    defying the Supreme Court now
    when they were silent when the highest court

    * ruled in favor of Penoy’s uncle, Danding Cojuangco
    and against the farmers?
    * ruled in favor of Philippine Airlines
    and against the workers’ union?

    Aren’t they acting like spoiled brats
    na nagta-tantrum when don’t get what they want?


  4. very funny 😀

    on a serious note, we’re but too focused on non-economic-value-adding affairs. there’s an “asian century” that’s looming in the horizon. nobody seems to be taking up leadership for the philippines to at least try to position ourselves among the states that are going to make the asian century happen. seems like we’re pre-ordained to be outcasts with per capita income of probably 1/100th to that of china and india. gising pilipinas!


  5. sum total, we have 3 severe critics against the philippines,

    1st is paul ( you have reason to rejoice now, may the pain
    in your heart already subsided with the recent hacienda
    development ) who is a filipino but chooses to reside elsewhere

    2nd is libertas, a foreigner who is here with us, for whatever
    reasons, maybe you want to share libertas

    3rd is hikata, i’m not sure yet where he is now, maybe in due time,
    who is a defender of libertas and paul


    1. Nagpadala naman kayo diyan, mga operatiba lang yan ng sg, napag-iiwanan na kasi sila ng ph tapos ayaw nilang mag-alisan bigla lahat ng pinoy dun, kasi pag nangyari yun lugmok sila balik sa kahirapan. Noong 1950s may truck pang nangongolekta ng tae dun kasi walang palikuran sa bahay, tsaka kailan lang sila nagka-mrt, ngayon sira-sira pa lagi. Huwag kayo magpalinlang


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