THIS JUST IN: Facebook posts reveal Genelyn Magsaysay, Ramona Bautista’s mother, is taking antidepressants. Shocking tabloid news say she’s allegedly getting psychiatric treatment. And in even more shocking news, President Aquino has offered to shoulder her medical expenses.

Turkey was hit by a 5.7-magnitude earthquake killing at least five and trapping dozens in collapsed buildings. Seen running in apparent panic during the tremor was a woman in red scarf.

A news crew of ABS-CBN was able to locate the residence of Ramona Bautista in Turkey. Take that NBI/Interpol!

Ramona Bautista is married to a Turkish national identified in the papers as Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu. Now we know why she insists on using her maiden name.

Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu was quoted to have said that in Turkey, Ramona Bautista is untouchable. While in the Philippines, his name is unpronounceable.

Murder suspect Ramona Bautista has been married for three years to Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu. That name just made “Yilmaz Bektas” sound common.

Maria Ramona Belen Bautista was a hot topic in Turkish newspapers. Take that Ruffa Gutierrez!

This just in: Latest reports say Ramona Bautista’s siblings had a premonition that something bad involving their sister was going to happen. A day before Ramgen was killed, the whole family played bowling and Ramona, a novice at the sport, scored a turkey.

Giant Asteroid
Last Tuesday, Asteroid 2005 YU 55 – a black asteroid as huge as an aircraft carrier just missed the Earth… but partly collided with Ramona Bautista’s jaw.

A global catastrophe was averted when an asteroid as huge as a football field missed planet Earth Tuesday. Asteroid 2005 YU 55 came close to destroying humanity but reversed its direction when it saw competition: Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, and Ramona Bautista.

Ali Peek
At press time, the lone assailant who shot and injured basketball star Ali Peek has yet to be arrested. Unverified reports say the suspect has applied for asylum in the Dominican Republic.

Most Hated
CNN’s travel website has named the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) as the fifth most hated airport in the world. As pageant fans would say, fourth-runner up. Sought for comment, NAIA officials said, “Nope, we’re not going to change our airport. Whoever loves our country must also love our airport.”

In an article titled “World’s 10 most hated airports,” CNN’s Jordane Rane dissed NAIA’s “unkempt conditions, soup kitchen-style lines that feed into more lines, and an overall sense of futility.” Wait, is that NAIA? Sounds more like the MRT.

National Geographic representatives have confirmed that Lolong is now the world’s biggest saltwater crocodile in captivity. When told about the recognition, Lolong said, “Nakakain ba ‘yan?”

Lolong has been named by NatGeo representatives as the world’s biggest saltwater crocodile. Lolong’s very proud colleagues in Agusan Marsh have filed a resolution commending the feat.

Pacman vs. Marquez
Experts predict a Pacquiao victory over Marquez this Sunday. Some say the fight will be over by Round 2. Others believe it could last until Round 8. One thing’s for sure though, TV commercials will last by ‘round midnight.

At least 26 congressmen are watching Manny Pacquiao’s fight in the United States. In fact, the MGM Grand Garden Arena has reserved three rows for them. The seats were labeled, “Las Vegas Marsh.”

Kapamilya Christmas ID
On Thursday night, media giant ABS-CBN launched its 2011 Christmas Station ID. Conspicuously missing were Megastar Sharon Cuneta… and President Aquino.
“He who does not prevent a crime when he can, encourages it.”
~ Seneca

Quotes of the Weak
“Nothing will come out of this incident. Everything is merely made up of allegations. No one can touch us.”
~Engin Tuna Bulbuloglu, Ramona Bautista’s Turkish husband

“If he wants, the President can just come with us. Then, after [my wife’s medical procedure abroad], we can all return home.”
~Former First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo

Stay healthy! Happy weekend!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

21 thoughts on “BÜLBÜLOĞLU”

  1. Noynoy is going to have a ticker parade for NAIA coming 4th runner up.

    After that he will rename the worlds most hated airport as ‘Arroyo to blame’. Fly cojuangco airlines from the new noynoy airport in clark( also soon to be renamed as cojuangco land.)

    Pacquaio said there are 60+ congressmen at his political rally.
    “we should take a roll call” he said
    American news saw the joke – of philippine politics.

    Average cost of package – 250,000 pesos per person according to travel agent, excluding girls and gambling.

    As one american said ” and we give aid to these guys”


    1. the other day, i saw an american shopping with his filipina
      girlfriend in a supermarket, seeing customers with heaps
      of goods in their carts, the american murmured, where did
      they get all these money?

      the nerve, you think only you americans have money? i was
      tempted to tell him but didn’t because i was afraid that i can’t
      argue with him in english all the way hahaha


      1. But best not to plead poverty and then live a life of excess. A bit hypocritical, and not a good image to give to the rest of the world.
        Politicians, of all people, should lead by example.
        Am sure your idol pacquaio will be a good role-model as governor/president!!!
        Enjoy your bollinger and beluga


      2. ah ok, because you are also a foreigner that’s why you have
        the same mindset as that american and this foreigner-husband
        of my neighbor who are always very critical of every moves of us filipinos…

        i am amused with my foreigner neighbor because every time we
        have small family gatherings here, he will comment “party again?’
        why, is it your money that we are spending? this is our culture
        libertas and you cannot change that…

        yes, pacquiao is my idol, as a boxer, if we are townmates, i will
        vote for him as a governor but not as president, there, clear
        already, ok?

        and because you are living here in the philippines, be a filipino,
        come down to earth, i am inviting you to a glass of tuba with
        mouth-watering kinilaw na tangegui, raw fish soaked in vinegar
        with lots and lots of spices, once tasted, am sure you will forget
        your champagne and caviar…


  2. Bong revilla’s next film – “a man in a barong”
    Shot on location at NAIA
    sponsored by turkish airlines
    Produced by MIAA
    an everyday tale of brotherly love and family values
    Special guest appearance – the invisible man
    Coming to a campaign trail near you in 2016


      1. Hhmmm… Thought I was the only one who had that observation re Sharon. When she was much younger circa Gabby C., she was also bitchy making api the likes Pops Fernandez and Vina Morales. Bumait na nga after experiencing storms in her life but yeah, medyo oa/plastic/orocan pa rin.


  3. Engin Tuna Bulbuloglu in Turkish language means Tuna Fish Bolabola style in Olive Oil…

    Before , everytime an earthquake hits Turkey, the villagers goes to Engin Tuna, asking him to return Ramona to her father. They villagers believed that Don Ramon’s antinganting has to do with those earthquake. Besides they heared that it works when Yilmas return Ruffa to Annabelle…

    . National Geographic representatives have confirmed that Las Vegas Marsh has now the world’s largest gathering of saltwater crocodile ( 25 species ) . No one is allowed to gamble without CBCP’s blessing…
    Have a nice weekend PH !!!! Stop thinking of GMA and Ramona….


  4. …the surname “topic” has already been well-explained, by-lined ni Prof. sa Abante Tonite. sa mga Muslim and “son of” ay mahalaga.

    …ask ko lng Prof. what other print modules have been graced by your literary wit? ksi pra sa akin ikaw ay young breed ng mga tipong Ricky Lo, or Boy Abunda as far as writing is concerned.

    …aside from political humor and showbiz commentaries, have you ever written something like a Jun Lana work na mga pang-Palanca hall of famer?

    …curious lang Prof.


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