11 11 2011

THIS JUST IN: Facebook posts reveal Genelyn Magsaysay, Ramona Bautista’s mother, is taking antidepressants. Shocking tabloid news say she’s allegedly getting psychiatric treatment. And in even more shocking news, President Aquino has offered to shoulder her medical expenses.

Turkey was hit by a 5.7-magnitude earthquake killing at least five and trapping dozens in collapsed buildings. Seen running in apparent panic during the tremor was a woman in red scarf.

A news crew of ABS-CBN was able to locate the residence of Ramona Bautista in Turkey. Take that NBI/Interpol!

Ramona Bautista is married to a Turkish national identified in the papers as Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu. Now we know why she insists on using her maiden name.

Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu was quoted to have said that in Turkey, Ramona Bautista is untouchable. While in the Philippines, his name is unpronounceable.

Murder suspect Ramona Bautista has been married for three years to Engin Tuna Bülbüloğlu. That name just made “Yilmaz Bektas” sound common.

Maria Ramona Belen Bautista was a hot topic in Turkish newspapers. Take that Ruffa Gutierrez!

This just in: Latest reports say Ramona Bautista’s siblings had a premonition that something bad involving their sister was going to happen. A day before Ramgen was killed, the whole family played bowling and Ramona, a novice at the sport, scored a turkey.

Giant Asteroid
Last Tuesday, Asteroid 2005 YU 55 – a black asteroid as huge as an aircraft carrier just missed the Earth… but partly collided with Ramona Bautista’s jaw.

A global catastrophe was averted when an asteroid as huge as a football field missed planet Earth Tuesday. Asteroid 2005 YU 55 came close to destroying humanity but reversed its direction when it saw competition: Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, and Ramona Bautista.

Ali Peek
At press time, the lone assailant who shot and injured basketball star Ali Peek has yet to be arrested. Unverified reports say the suspect has applied for asylum in the Dominican Republic.

Most Hated
CNN’s travel website has named the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) as the fifth most hated airport in the world. As pageant fans would say, fourth-runner up. Sought for comment, NAIA officials said, “Nope, we’re not going to change our airport. Whoever loves our country must also love our airport.”

In an article titled “World’s 10 most hated airports,” CNN’s Jordane Rane dissed NAIA’s “unkempt conditions, soup kitchen-style lines that feed into more lines, and an overall sense of futility.” Wait, is that NAIA? Sounds more like the MRT.

National Geographic representatives have confirmed that Lolong is now the world’s biggest saltwater crocodile in captivity. When told about the recognition, Lolong said, “Nakakain ba ‘yan?”

Lolong has been named by NatGeo representatives as the world’s biggest saltwater crocodile. Lolong’s very proud colleagues in Agusan Marsh have filed a resolution commending the feat.

Pacman vs. Marquez
Experts predict a Pacquiao victory over Marquez this Sunday. Some say the fight will be over by Round 2. Others believe it could last until Round 8. One thing’s for sure though, TV commercials will last by ‘round midnight.

At least 26 congressmen are watching Manny Pacquiao’s fight in the United States. In fact, the MGM Grand Garden Arena has reserved three rows for them. The seats were labeled, “Las Vegas Marsh.”

Kapamilya Christmas ID
On Thursday night, media giant ABS-CBN launched its 2011 Christmas Station ID. Conspicuously missing were Megastar Sharon Cuneta… and President Aquino.
“He who does not prevent a crime when he can, encourages it.”
~ Seneca

Quotes of the Weak
“Nothing will come out of this incident. Everything is merely made up of allegations. No one can touch us.”
~Engin Tuna Bulbuloglu, Ramona Bautista’s Turkish husband

“If he wants, the President can just come with us. Then, after [my wife’s medical procedure abroad], we can all return home.”
~Former First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo

Stay healthy! Happy weekend!

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.



21 responses

11 11 2011

Noynoy is going to have a ticker parade for NAIA coming 4th runner up.

After that he will rename the worlds most hated airport as ‘Arroyo to blame’. Fly cojuangco airlines from the new noynoy airport in clark( also soon to be renamed as cojuangco land.)

Pacquaio said there are 60+ congressmen at his political rally.
“we should take a roll call” he said
American news saw the joke – of philippine politics.

Average cost of package – 250,000 pesos per person according to travel agent, excluding girls and gambling.

As one american said ” and we give aid to these guys”


12 11 2011

the other day, i saw an american shopping with his filipina
girlfriend in a supermarket, seeing customers with heaps
of goods in their carts, the american murmured, where did
they get all these money?

the nerve, you think only you americans have money? i was
tempted to tell him but didn’t because i was afraid that i can’t
argue with him in english all the way hahaha


12 11 2011

But best not to plead poverty and then live a life of excess. A bit hypocritical, and not a good image to give to the rest of the world.
Politicians, of all people, should lead by example.
Am sure your idol pacquaio will be a good role-model as governor/president!!!
Enjoy your bollinger and beluga


14 11 2011

ah ok, because you are also a foreigner that’s why you have
the same mindset as that american and this foreigner-husband
of my neighbor who are always very critical of every moves of us filipinos…

i am amused with my foreigner neighbor because every time we
have small family gatherings here, he will comment “party again?’
why, is it your money that we are spending? this is our culture
libertas and you cannot change that…

yes, pacquiao is my idol, as a boxer, if we are townmates, i will
vote for him as a governor but not as president, there, clear
already, ok?

and because you are living here in the philippines, be a filipino,
come down to earth, i am inviting you to a glass of tuba with
mouth-watering kinilaw na tangegui, raw fish soaked in vinegar
with lots and lots of spices, once tasted, am sure you will forget
your champagne and caviar…


11 11 2011

“Las Vegas Marsh.” panalo!! heheheh


11 11 2011

Bong revilla’s next film – “a man in a barong”
Shot on location at NAIA
sponsored by turkish airlines
Produced by MIAA
an everyday tale of brotherly love and family values
Special guest appearance – the invisible man
Coming to a campaign trail near you in 2016


11 11 2011

P-noy visited the ladies CR room at NAIA today.
He was seen taking down telephone numbers scrawled on the walls, desperate for a date, or just desperate.


14 11 2011

what desperate, if a jeepney driver can have as many dates,

what more with a president, of a country no less, not of a barangay..


11 11 2011

wala yata si sharon kasi nandun si very vocal bimby, baka sabihin nya “mommy, di ba you hate her?”😀


12 11 2011

sa pagka oa/plastic/orocan, kris is the younger

version of sharon


12 11 2011

Hhmmm… Thought I was the only one who had that observation re Sharon. When she was much younger circa Gabby C., she was also bitchy making api the likes Pops Fernandez and Vina Morales. Bumait na nga after experiencing storms in her life but yeah, medyo oa/plastic/orocan pa rin.


11 11 2011

Engin Tuna Bulbuloglu in Turkish language means Tuna Fish Bolabola style in Olive Oil…

Before , everytime an earthquake hits Turkey, the villagers goes to Engin Tuna, asking him to return Ramona to her father. They villagers believed that Don Ramon’s antinganting has to do with those earthquake. Besides they heared that it works when Yilmas return Ruffa to Annabelle…

. National Geographic representatives have confirmed that Las Vegas Marsh has now the world’s largest gathering of saltwater crocodile ( 25 species ) . No one is allowed to gamble without CBCP’s blessing…
Have a nice weekend PH !!!! Stop thinking of GMA and Ramona….


11 11 2011

NAIA’s carpets are frayed…paano ba yan? Having arrived from Seoul’s Inchong airport, NAIA looks kaawa-awa…sabi ni DOT sec na madaling ibenta ang Philippines…via NAIA? sus!


11 11 2011

re: giant asteroid

( sa pagkasalita ni kris ) bad ka na talaga mister heckler


12 11 2011

this ramona will be pitiful in the hands of tuna bulbul,

remember sa nangyari kay ruffa? at may mga anak pa

si ruffa samantalang si ramona ay wala yata..


12 11 2011

one reason why recent opponents of pacquiao all lost

in their fights is because they are already intimated even

before the fight, sa bisaya pa, mangluspad na daan…


12 11 2011

i thought ex-FGMA is the world’s largest crocodile. may mas malaki pa pala


12 11 2011

i love you hecky!!!tsuuuuuuup….:-)


13 11 2011

…the surname “topic” has already been well-explained, by-lined ni Prof. sa Abante Tonite. sa mga Muslim and “son of” ay mahalaga.

…ask ko lng Prof. what other print modules have been graced by your literary wit? ksi pra sa akin ikaw ay young breed ng mga tipong Ricky Lo, or Boy Abunda as far as writing is concerned.

…aside from political humor and showbiz commentaries, have you ever written something like a Jun Lana work na mga pang-Palanca hall of famer?

…curious lang Prof.


13 11 2011

hahah nah. no time for serious stuff. but got a number of short stories for children published in the Junior Inquirer years back.


14 11 2011

…Thanks Prof.


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