5M

IT’S ALMOST NOVEMBER! It’s the season of bonuses! Have you received yours? The MILF just got theirs!

In case you missed my tweet this morning: The mystery behind Claudine Barretto’s missing bank deposit (P5M) has been solved. It was allegedly withdrawn by government peace panel chair Marvic Leonen and donated to the Moro Islamic Liberation Front!

Malacañang said the P5M given to the MILF was intended for the Bangsamoro Leadership and Management Institute (BLMI). The BLMI is where the MILF will train future Moro leaders who will fight the future government for a future substate.

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda says the government will ask the MILF to account for the amount it gave the rebel group last August. I’m sure it will be easy for the MILF to liquidate 5 milion pesos. It only took them minutes to liquidate 19 soldiers.

MILF vice chair for political affairs Ghadzali Jaafar insists the 5 million pesos “donated” by the government to the MILF is still intact. ‘k.

Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi and President Aquino now have something in common. They donated funds to the MILF rebels.

Gaddafi
Less than a week after his body was stored in a freezer, Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi was buried. Take that Ferdinand Marcos!

Colonel Moammar Gadhafi has been buried. But die-hard supporters couldn’t find his grave. Filipinos have a term for that: “Undas.”

Watch List
The Department of Justice has issued another watchlist order against former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and former First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo. The couple will not be allowed to leave the country sans the approval of the DOJ. Sources say the Arroyos are getting frustrated. They want some respect, consideration, and tolerance from the government. Hence, their plan to join the MILF.

State Visit
Vietnamese President Truong Tan Sang had a bilateral meeting with President Aquino in Malacañang Wednesday afternoon. Tan Sang is in the country for a three-day state visit. Now that explains why palace-based presidential speechwriter Mai Mislang is on a three-day leave of absence.

The President of Vietnam is in the country. Last night, he tweeted that the wine served by President Aquino didn’t suck and that “marami palang pogi dito.”

Clinton in Manila
US Secretary of State Hilary Rodham-Clinton will meet with President Aquino in Manila on November 15. This early, the President is being warned. Hillary hates cigars.

Pop Talk
The Philippines is the 12th most populous country in the world. Therefore, we are the 12th horniest people on earth. Congratulations!

According to the UN Population Fund, China has the biggest population at 1.3 billion, followed by India at 1.24 billion. In third place is Ramon Revilla Sr’s household.

Alcohol Poisoning
A British coroner ruled that Amy Winehouse drank herself to death. And Executive Secretary Paquito Ochoa was like, “Don’t worry. I know my limits.”

Anti- ‘Anti-Smoking Ban”
A Mandaluyong RTC judge has issued an injunction against the MMDA’s anti-smoking campaign. Critics say it was a victory for tobacco companies. Or as the judge would call it, “bonus!”

Sentenced
For illegally disbursing 21 million pesos in government funds, former ARMM Governor Zacaria Candao has been sentenced to 153 years in prison. If it’s any consolation, Candao will be locked up in a prison cell with a convict identified as Michael Scofield.

—————————————————————————————————
“A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.”
~John C. Maxwell

Quotes of the Week
“I think ‘all-out justice’ are just words. The President is trying not the use ‘all-out war’ because it will definitely cause some furor among different sectors. But what does all-out justice really mean?”
~Sen. Francis Joseph Escudero

“The watchlist order which has the effect of a hold departure order is illegal. To me, the watchlist order that encroaches on the right of a person to travel is contrary to the Constitution.”
~Sen. Franklin Drilon on the watchlist order issued by the DOJ vs. CGMA et al.

Elsewhere
GMA News: MMDA sets up smoking areas on EDSA, Commonwealth

How big was the world when you were born? Find out here. This is fun and informative.

Phil. Daily Inquirer: Fast Facts: The World Population

You Have Spoken
The President has spoken. Ikaw, anong stand mo sa problema natin sa MILF?
-All-out war! All out justice! 64.47%
-Peace talks! All-out justice! 25%
-Thinking… 10.53%

Happy Holidays! Stay safe. Spread the love.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

27 thoughts on “5M”

      1. noynoy is now in a unique situation wherein on one
        hand, he may even be willing to kneel just to attain
        peace, for his glory, on the other, will, by all means
        send gloria to jail no matter if she is dying, for his glory..

        now, who is the lesser evil, the murderers or the corrupt/
        plunderer…

        Like

  1. Google hypoparathyroidism and not only is there a worldwide association but it also identifies the worlds experts and centres of excellence – US, UK, and hong kong.
    Not surprisingly arroyo is visiting countries known more for its banks than its doctors and with no extradition treaties.

    Like

  2. Lacierda said Deles and government peace panel
    chair Marvic Leonen still have the trust and
    confidence of President Aquino.

    the problem is none of them have the trust and confidence of the AFP and the people.

    about time we had more than one carefully massaged opinion poll in the country. with technology easy to do to get the real feelings and figures, rather than SWS just spending 10 mi.utes at the makati business club for a free lunch

    Like

  3. Your heckling is so funny. But it hurts. Truth hurts. How can we continue discussing peace with people whose definition of peace is waging war? How can you deal with a group who refuses to recognize the sovereignty of the people or even call themselves Filipino? These are treasonous actions and we give them money still? Deles and Leonen are either naive or stupid? Either way, we, the sovereign Filipino people, have to suffer for their mistakes.

    Like

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