A SPEEDING TAXI loses control and hits a lamppost in Quezon City. The driver who sustained just minor bruises is immediately charged with damage to property. Of course, he would not have been sued if he were a security aide of a political adviser.
Authorities tried to contact the operator of the taxi but they were informed that he was in Geneva when the accident happened.
Defending his ownership of an AK-47 assault rifle, presidential political adviser Ronald Llamas says there are “credible threats to my personal safety.” He just sacked two of his security aides… making those threats more credible.
Ronald Llamas owns at least five firearms. He sure knows how to fire guns. And employees.
The dismissed security aides of presidential political adviser Ronald Llamas – Joey Tecson and John Alarcon who slammed the official’s car to a slow moving truck – are not off the hook yet. They could be held liable for illegal possession of stupidity.
Breaking News! This report is brought to you by Havaianas flip-flops.
After ruling three times “with finality” that PAL’s retrenchment of flight attendants and stewards 13 years ago was illegal, the Supreme Court en banc, in an unprecedented move recalled its own decision. The full court is expected to issue a ruling on the second motion for reconsideration filed by PAL. Of course, expect that ruling to be recalled 13 years from now.
The Supreme Court had ruled “three times” that the retrenchment of 1,400 PAL flight attendants in 1998 was illegal. But in a two-page resolution dated October 4, the High Tribunal recalled its ruling. Supreme Court spokesman Atty. Midas Marquez cited ‘misapplication of rules.’ In layman’s term, ‘katangahan.’
Supreme Court spokesman Atty. Midas Marquez says, “This is the first time I’ve encountered something like this.” Kami rin.
Explaining the Supreme Court’s decision to withdraw a ruling that favored the association of PAL flight attendants, Supreme Court spokesman Atty. Midas Marquez cited “misapplication of rules.” In totally unrelated news, the Department of Budget is studying if there had been a “misallocation of budget” for the Supreme Court.
– Kapag ikaw ay ordinaryong Pilipino, kinasuhan at natalo, tapos ang maliligayang araw mo. Sure na. Final na kahit umapela ka pa. Good luck sa ‘yo!
– Kapag ikaw ay powerful at influential businessman, kinasuhan at natalo, no problemo! Kahit paulit-ulit nang nagpasya ang korte laban sa ‘yo, mababaligtad mo!
To use in a sentence:
“The Supreme Court hereby rules with finality in favor of the Flight Attendants and Stewards Association of the Philippines. Not! LOL.”
Napocor vs. Bulacan
Bulacan Governor Willy Alvarado says there is evidence that Napocor’s decision to release water from the Angat dam caused the massive flooding in the province. The local government of Bulacan is now suing Napocor. If the case wouldn’t prosper, Alvarado is keen on taking “Pedring” to court.
After killing his wife, a 39-year-old Capiz native cut off his penis. Police described the first one as strangulation; the second, decapitation.
A man in Pecos, Texas allegedly hit his wife when she failed to “Like” his Facebook status. The wife retaliated by filing a case against him, and clicking the “Unfriend” button.
According to presidential political adviser Ronald Llamas, the United Nations High Commission for Refugees is inviting presidential sister Kris Aquino to be its goodwill ambassador (for Asia) just like the late Princess Diana who, like Kris, was also popular, had two sons, and was married to a cheating husband.
“We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.”
Quote of the Week
“Usually naman nakikita natin ‘yung mga ambushes, ang dala-dala ng mga nang-a-ambush ay mga long firearms. So just to be sure. Nagkataon lang na nagkaroon ng aksidente, nakunan ng litrato, pero hangga’t maaari naman hindi naman nilalabas ‘yan e. Nakatago lang ‘yan.”
~Presidential political adviser Ronald Llamas
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