Calumpit is inundated. Hagonoy is under water. And Northern Luzon is being battered by heavy rains. DPWH officials are having a tough time choosing the best location for their next photo op.

Massive floods swamped entire villages in Bulacan, Nueva Ecija and Pampanga, Residents are blaming Napocor for releasing water from major dams in Luzon at the height of the typhoon. Napocor is blaming rainwater rushing down from the mountains. Surprisingly, President Aquino has yet to blame the previous administration.

Last week, President Aquino pledged 1 million dollars to Japan’s disaster victims. Is it too late to take it back?

State Witness?
Former Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos has offered to become a state witness against election officials who allegedly rigged the 2007 elections in Mindanao. In totally unrelated news, Andal Ampatuan Jr. is willing to become a state witness against the perpetrators of the Maguindanao massacre.

Environment Secretary Ramon Paje has suggested the transfer of crocodile Lolong from Agusan del Sur to Quezon City Parks and Wildlife. Apparently, Quezon City wants more!

Reports said Lolong had become lethargic and had not eaten for a month now. As if to protest its captivity, it has also been planking since September 3.

Juan Time
Last Friday, Vice President Binay, representing President Aquino launched the campaign called “Juan Time.” He urged Filipinos to eradicate the habit of “Filipino time” or coming late for appointments. To which the President said, “Ouch!”

Elderly Week
The Philippines is celebrating ‘Elderly Filipino Week’ from October 1 to 7. To mark the weeklong event, the Professional Heckler will not write anything against Senators Juan Ponce Enrile and Joker Arroyo.

One of the activities this year is the Super Senior Citizens Song Fest on October 4.  Imelda Marcos will perform a special number.

Ten outstanding elderly Filipinos will be awarded this week. Sen. Loren Legarda can’t wait to meet the winners in the ‘Lolo’ category.

UAAP Finals
The Ateneo Blue Eagles soared to a historic 4-peat by beating the FEU Tamaraws in the UAAP Finals Saturday. Hats off to Norman Black! Fascinators off to Manny V. Pangilinan! Congratulations!

It was a lopsided victory for MVP’s boys who had the “homecourt advantage” throughout the season.

Next year, the Ateneo Blue Eagles will ‘drive for five.’ Also next year, the UP Pep Squad will ‘sashay for trey.’

Nico Salva was named Finals MVP. Take that Megan Young!

Rookies Kiefer Ravena and Greg Slaughter received their first ever championship rings yesterday. Kiefer and Slaughter: 2 – LeBron James – 0!

Boy on Bandila
‘The King of Talk,’  Boy Abunda is joining Bandila to dish out a nightly dose of entertainment news, and discuss the hottest showbiz controversies with co-anchors Julius Babao, Karen Davila and Ces Drilon. It’s part ‘SNN’ part ‘The Buzz’ within ‘The Bottomline’ within ‘Bandila.’ Consider it the ‘Inception’ of ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs.

Nadia vs. Rama
Former actress Nadia Montenegro sued her two teenage daughters’ manager, Annabelle Rama for child abuse. Montenegro claims Rama has been forcing her daughters to work overtime, wear sexy outfits, and entertain “powerful” and “influential men.” Or as Ruffa Gutierrez would call it, “My journey.”
“Perhaps catastrophe is the natural human environment, and even though we spend a good deal of energy trying to get away from it, we are programmed for survival amid catastrophe.”
~Germaine Greer

McDonald’s Turns 30
McDonald’s is celebrating its 30th year in the Philippines. Thirty years of profit and unhealthy diet. Happy Anniversary!

Ronald McDonald in the Philippines is now 30 years old. Or as Vicki Belo would say, “Too old.”

Oops, he did it again!
Quote of the Week
“The President is not fond of photo ops.”
-Presidential Spokesman Edwin Lacierda when asked by palace reporters why President Aquino was not visible in areas struck by disaster

Just a Rumor
Studio 23 has a program called “Where is Toni?” TV5’s ‘Pinoy Explorer’ is asking “Nasaan si Aga?” Rumors say NBN4 will soon launch a show called, “Find the President!”

Quote of the Week, Too
“I’m so attached to Lolong. I spend most of my time with the crocodile. I consider him my son now.”
~ Bunawan, Agusan Del Sur Mayor Cox Elorde rejecting suggestions to transfer ‘Lolong’ to the Quezon City Parks and Wildlife

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Have a safe and productive week ahead!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

32 thoughts on “DISASTER”

      1. @senior60:

        …since when did it happen that rumormongering has become a job? i think libel stands to put a fine line between fact and fiction. having feigned physical presence won’t right the wrong.

        …as ms. valte reiterated: “…remember the supposed lotto winner?”


      2. hindi mo pa alam danny? ano ba tawag doon sa mga
        pinanggagawa nina cfermin, lsolis, tyap at iba pa sa
        kanilang mga showbiz talk shows, di ba nagtsisismisan
        sila at tumatanggap ng sweldo?

        ‘having feigned physical……….wrong’ paki explain danny
        at kung pwede with example, hindi ko talaga naintindihan


      3. danny, i insist that you make an explanation with example…

        at lalo akong naguguluhan doon sa ‘Oops, he did it again’,
        ngayon madadagdagan na ang dapat mong ipaliwanag…

        at huwag na si mister heckler ang atasan mo, busy sya sa
        pagluluto ng makakain natin…

        at ano na danny, lumampas na ako doon sa tampotampo
        stage hehe


    1. In furnace Koya Danny, kahit alin namang news agency, from CNN, BBC, to Al Jazeera, paulit ulit naman talaga ang broadcast ng balita for the day.

      Kaya kung ayaw mo, pakatapos mong manood ng UKG, ask mo na ang Meralco na magdeclare na ng brown out para wit mo na ma-watch ang paulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit…….isa pa nga….. ulit.


      1. @etchosera:

        …hehe ok n po sna ung suggestion nyo sa 1st paragraph, ky lng prang nalito ako bigla kc bkit sa meralco po ako magku-complain?

        …psst, kuya suggestion lng, pwede gawa ka rin sarili mong blog? kwela ka kasi tsaka sipag mo mag-counteract sa mga commenters.


      2. pssst koya danny, atin atin lang ito, ha?

        gustuhin ko man gumawa ng sarili kong blog, eh di ko keri.

        di kasi ako marunong…… pramis!

        Meron ka bang recipe nyan? padala mo po sa akin at ita-try ko gumawa. malay mo, magustuhan din ng mga utaw, diva Koya?


  1. Residents in luzon are preparing for the 3rd disaster to visit them in 2 weeks – codenamed p-noy.

    Once he has received the all clear signal he will emerge victorious from under his desk, yellow plastic bags at the ready – for the photographers.
    If it is still raining a photoshopportunity will be arranged.

    The palace are organising an evacuation plan – aquino will visit UK until the storms pass.
    An honorary degree in fast food is being arranged.


    1. Amidst the disasters in the past week,the presence of the president was hardly felt.I wonder what kept him busy?Tired from his sojourns?he criticized the previous president for her travels…well he is no different.at least gma was at the disaster areas when her presence was needed.


    2. To echosera and Kymd…

      Funny, but you are missing the point…ever come across the word pakikiramay at pagmamalasakit?Kung ikaw ay maysakit,di ba nakakaalwan ng damdamin at nakakapagbigay lakas ng loob kung katabi mo ang iyong magulang o kamaganak?Kaysa padalhan ka lang ng pera at prutas.Its an intangible thing that speaks of the kind of leader one is. Yon lang pow.


      1. Ate Star Margarine, what can Pnoy’s presence there do to alleviate the sufferings of his constituents? Mangangako na naman siya na di na magkakaroon ng baha forever and ever emporium sa avenida?

        These people want concrete actions, and not the president showing up there, with his labintatlong natitirang buhok na nililipad lipad ng hangin, at pakaway kaway lang habang ang mga utaw ay nanginginig sa ginaw at gutom?

        Tigilan ako dyan sa mga feigned pakikiramay kuno na yan, huh?


  2. Juicemio!

    Di na ako nagtataka diyan sa reklamo ni Nadia kay Anabil Rama regarding the latter asking her dotirs to entertain powerful and influential people..

    Knowsline naman, di lang sa showbiz kundi pati sa high level political circles ang modus operandi op da Anabil, the greatest boogie wonderland of showbizlandia.

    How in da world the Guttierez family is considered the Phil Showbiz Royal Family is beyond me.


  3. Nadia vs. Rama
    Former actress Nadia Montenegro sued her two teenage daughters’ manager, Annabelle Rama for child abuse. Montenegro claims Rama has been forcing her daughters to work overtime, wear sexy outfits, and entertain “powerful” and “influential men.”

    — i wouldn’t be surprise if these 2 women attacked each other… same feathers flock together…


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