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FLIPTOP AND POLITICS

23 09 2011

HERE’S A CONFESSION: I used to follow “Nick Cannon Presents: Wild ‘N Out” on MTV. It was hosted by Nick Cannon a.k.a. Mr. Mariah Carey. My favorite part of the show was ‘Wild Style’ – a fliptop rap battle in which members of two rival teams insulted and dissed each other using freestyle rap. The team with the wittiest punchlines and the cleverest rhymes usually emerged as winners.

What if local politicians and government officials engage in fliptop rap battles? How much insult can they take? Whose bragging and boasting would impress the public?

This post was inspired by the fliptop craze in the Philippines. Let’s get going!

Match No. 1: Presidential spokesperson Atty. Edwin Lacierda vs. George San Mateo of the militant transport group Piston

Atty. Edwin Lacierda:
Ang dami n’yong dada,
Para kayong bakla
Tinawag lang na perwisyo,
Agad na nagwala!

Your rally was a dud!
‘Yan ang totoo brod
Wala nang kadating-dating
May paandar pang planking!
Boo! Break it down!

Piston:
Break it down mo’ng mukha mo
Embarrassment ka sa pangulo
Ang dami mong sinasabi
Wala ka namang silbi!

Baka nakakalimutan mo
Kami ang ‘boss’ ng ‘yong amo?
‘Tsaka bakit sa militante, ang lakas mong mang-asar
Urong naman ang ‘yong bayag pagdating sa grupong Samar!
Yeah!!!

Match No. 2: Vice President Jejomar Binay vs. DOTC Secretary Mar Roxas

Vice President Binay:
Nakakatawa ka, para kang bata!
Habol nang habol sa kending nawala
Ang hirap kasi, nag-expect ka ng panalo
Eh kahit pangulo mo, ‘di ka yata ‘binoto!
Toingkz!

At weh ano naman kung nasa DOTC ka?
Ang tanong ng bayan: happy ka naman ba?
iurong mo na kasi ang iyong protesta,
Wala kang pag-asa bro, sayang lang ang ‘yong pera!
Bwahaha!

DOTC Sec. Mar Roxas:
Kung maka-bro ka naman, para tayong magkapatid
Eh ang kakulay mo lang, ang maitim kong litid!
Ako, fifty-four pa lang; eh ikaw? Sixty-eight!
Malapit ka nang dalhin sa Home for the Aged!
Awooo!

At take note!
Malinis ang aking record, kahit may tsismis na “under”
Mas ok naman ‘yon kesa kasuhan ng plunder
Ouch! Sorry, meron bang tinamaan d’yan?
Ang pumiyok – guilty, ‘wag kasing gahaman!
Break it down!

Match No. 3: Sen. Lito Lapid vs. Quezon City Rep. Winnie Castelo

Lito Lapid:
Gaya-gaya puto maya, wala kang originality
Ako kaya ang nagpauso ng bills na super silly
Ano bang nakakatawa sa Anti-Planking Act?
Mas funny ang bill ko: Anti-Bag na Mabigat!

Hey dude! Hey tsong, kelan ka ba huling nanalamin?
Kasi naman ang bangs mo parang unggoy na naglalambitin
Graduate ka raw ng UP. ‘Di nga? Serious ka?
Eh bakit ang bills mo parang gawa ng artista?
Yeah… take it down!

Winnie Castelo:
“Take it down” ka d’yan! Saksakan ka nang engot!
Ni hindi mo nga alam ang Ingles sa kulangot!
Hindi kita ginagaya, ‘wag ka ngang feeling
Wala ka namang alam kundi ‘yang quarrying!

Pati ba naman bangs ko iyong pinapakialaman
Eh ‘yong debate mo with Miriam, kumusta naman?
And yes, I’m from UP, how dare you na magduda!
Ni wala ka ngang natapos kahit pagbuburda!
Tse!

Match No. 4: San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito vs. Ang Galing Party-List Rep. Mikey Arroyo

JV Ejercito:
Lahat na lang ay may sakit, ang dami n’yong palusot
Para kayong helicopter, walang tigil sa pag-ikot!
Sakit sa leeg, sakit sa atay, sakit sa puso, ano ba ‘yan!
Gagawin yata ang lahat para kaso’y matakasan!
Sus naman!

‘Yong daddy mong corrupt, hayun at nasa Germany!
Malakas ang kutob kong naglo-launder ng money!
Teka nga pala, ano bang ginagawa mo sa Kongreso
Nag-iipon ng pera para kay Rufa Mae Quinto?
Yo! Todo na ‘to!

Mikey Arroyo:
‘T*ng-ina mo, Tarantado! Kupal ka ulupong!
Kanino bang ama ang guilty sa pandarambong?
Kung makapagsalita ka parang ang linis-linis n’yo
Baka nalilimutan mo, pinalayas kayo sa puwesto!

At obvious namang bitter na bitter ka pa rin
Utak ampalaya ka; mukha ka namang pumpkin!
At puwede ba…
‘Wag na ‘wag mong uungkatin ang isyu ng babae
Palibhasa ‘yang half-brother mo, kuwestyunable ang pagkalalaki!
Charing!

Match No. 5: President Aquino vs. Self
Self:
Puro ka punchline, puro ka patawa,
Kunsabagay, kalbo ka nga pala
Seriously now, bakit wala ka pang asawa?
Try mo kaya ang guys, para lang maiba!

President Aquino:
Gago! (Ooops, pasensya na po.) Sira ulo ka ba?
Hindi nga ako nagmamadali, bakit mas marunong ka pa!?
Sige! Kung ‘di makahintay, eh ‘di mauna ka na!
Isang malaking good luck, sana may mabola ka!

Self:
Hayan ka na naman! What’s with the condescending tone?
Wala ka kasing self-confidence, kulang ka sa backbone!
Look at your BFF Mar, humabol pa sa huling biyahe!
Ironically nga lang, ex-girlfriend mo ang dinali! Dyahe!

President Aquino:
Sus! Tumahimik ka!
Basta ako umaasa pa!

Self:
Whatever! Hayy, matagal na akong rindi!
Fifty-one years mo na kasi ‘yang sinasabi!

President Aquino:
It’s not that simple! Idiot! Marriage is destiny.
Believe me.

Self:
Kaya ikaw, single pa rin.
Ikakasal na si Shalani.

President Aquino:
This conversation is over!
Now if you would excuse me…

Self:
Ayan, d’yan ka magaling!
Hala! Mag-PSP!

President Aquino:
Whatever!

Self:
Break it down.
——————————————————————————————————————————-
“I love argument, I love debate. I don’t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that’s not their job.”
~ Margaret Thatcher

Quote of the Week
“You know I like the song ‘Got to Believe in Magic.’ There’s this line there that says ‘Tell me how two people find each other.’ Well now she found someone. Ako kasi tinatanong ko pa din sa sarili ko how do people find each other? Siya nasagot na niya.”
President Aquino on the reported engagement of his ex-girlfriend Shalani Soledad with Cong. Roman Romulo

Briefly Noted
When you visit Cong. Winnie Castelo’s official website to check on his Anti-Planking Act, you’ll see this:
“Oops, I screwed up and you discovered my fatal flaw. Well, we’re not all perfect, but we try. Can you try this again or maybe visit our Home Page to start fresh. We’ll do better next time.”
WTF.

Elsewhere
Yahoo News: The Future of Facebook: Out with profile pages, in with the Timeline

Interaksyon.com: Jessica Zafra: Stars vs. Zombies

More fliptop battles are coming soon!
Have a peaceful and fun weekend!

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever

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49 responses

23 09 2011
deelightedlymarshee

HECKLER! wala kang kupas!! fliptop naman ngayon!! hahah ang galing beri kombinsing!!

Like

23 09 2011
rojan88

haha.
ang galing ng pagkakasulat tamang tama ang sangkap
puno ng halakhak at tawa,panigurado ang babasa
panalo ang fliptop ng ni roxas at ni binay
di rin papatalo ang schizophrenic na si Pnoy

patok din ang mga mambabatas na pasayo
sa pangunguna ni lapid at ni castelo
at humabol pa ang mga boyoyong
na si JV at Arroyo

break it down.

hahaha. galing mo talga idol, sabi ko n nga ba nung nitweet mo ung napanood mo sa vice ganda, magbablog ka flip top eh.

ayus. apir 🙂

————————————————————————————————-
http://rojan88.wordpress.com

Like

23 09 2011
Victoria N. Navida

ohhhh, i luv this flip-top battle…..so kaaliw….more…more….more…..!!!

Like

23 09 2011
kalokah

me typo error ka, mr ph. i think it’s “mr.” mariah carey for nick cannon.

Like

24 09 2011
professionalheckler

hey! thanks! 🙂

Like

25 09 2011
pasingit

“typo error” is redundant. “typo” would suffice. just sayin’ =)

Like

25 09 2011
professionalheckler

it’s not redundant. u can use typo yes but ‘typographical error’ is not redundant. 🙂

Like

23 09 2011
Anonymous

Love this YO! Great!

Like

23 09 2011
ajg

Wala talaga akong masabi sa blog mo
hindi ka lang professor, kundi isa kang henyo!
may tatapat pa ba sa utak mong malaki
Siguro si winnie castelo pag naisipan nyang magpashaggy.. (hanapan nyo nlng ng relevance.lol)
BREAK IT DOWN!

Like

24 09 2011
thepiaya

ikaw na, the best ka! bwahahaha! iniimagine ko paano kaya kung talagang harapan silang nagrarap sa isat isa!

Like

25 09 2011
etchosera

Si Pnoy at si presidinti…. harapan?

I don’t like to imagine! Ewwwww!

Like

24 09 2011
eedyah

nice

Like

24 09 2011
hikatalomato

pesteng yawa, pwerte namong katawa
ang akong iring nahagbong hinoon sa lamesa
unsaon man kay pwerteng nindota
mudeliver ug rap si professional heckla

break it down, yo!

Like

24 09 2011
professionalheckler

wala akong naintindihan but it sounded funny! break it down!

Like

25 09 2011
senior60

hahaha kinsa man diay imong mga kaestorya hikata…

ang ako sad ka beliban kay kanunay starring nang iringa…

Like

28 09 2011
hikatalomato

apil jud na siya kanunay ñor. siya baya mu-type sa ako i-comment diri sa blog ni ph.

Like

24 09 2011
senior60

clap to the highest power

Like

24 09 2011
William

hahaha galing mo bro. thanks for making us laugh 🙂

Like

24 09 2011
Rosita

I love it, best ka talaga!!! More Please!

Like

24 09 2011
piya

grabe you are a genius!
this is the super duper the best!
i swear, the music is awesome!
inulit ko pa kasi parang mali timing ko sa music, hehe
saludo talaga ko!

Like

24 09 2011
professionalheckler

hahaha ako rin! i had to re-rap para sakto sa music

Like

24 09 2011
charesma

at napa-rap talaga ako. lol

Like

24 09 2011
Anonymous

ni-rap ko daw talaga bawat isa kasabay ng music! ang husay!

Like

24 09 2011
Anonymous

Super panalo!
Ang galing galing mo!
Usapang fliptop ba kamo?
Sayo na ang trono! 😉

Like

25 09 2011
madam auring

di kaya na hack yung website ni congressman ? heheh

Like

25 09 2011
pasingit

question: tibo ba si rep winnie castelo? mukha kasi eh. just askin’ =)

Like

25 09 2011
etchosera

Aray ko naman! Masakit sa bangs!

Like

26 09 2011
charesma

can i “like” your comment? hehe

Like

25 09 2011
Moira Gallaga

Amazing post as always! Sharp and witty as ever. The use of fliptop rap is novel, is an album or a CD release in the works? It’s my first time to comment but I’ve been following your blog for some time now and it is a perfect tonic for perking up my day. You Sir, are a genius and more power to you!

Like

25 09 2011
professionalheckler

maraming salamat sa pagbabasa at pag-iiwan ng kumento sa unang pagkakataon! 🙂

Like

25 09 2011
danny

…where else can you go that would at least equal the fun?

…dito lang iyan kay Prof. PH matatagpuan.

Like

25 09 2011
dudut

LIKE!

Like

25 09 2011
Anonymous

like!

Like

25 09 2011
libertas

What do yo know ‘dr’ aquino
Monday, it must be tokyo
Another day; another degree
Easy when its given free

Land of the rising sun
Filipina women for comfort & fun
Still no apology or reparation
Will you voice the disgust of the nation

Your sister is a ho’
Monday, it must be ocampo
Another day, another man
Car park sex, coq au vin

What about bbf puno
Lately, a no show
Sexuality, jokes and indecision
You’re now the object of derision

Stop being the mummys boy
Was your father really ninoy
If so, where’s the get up and go
What do you really do, aquino

Change needs political revolution
Are you part of the solution
Or just maintaining the status quo
A willing puppet of cojuangco

Another day, another degree
Another branch of jollibee
Power is not about ego
What do you think pinnoquino

We need a strong bold leader
Not a secret bottom feeder
Shape up and start to work
Theres no place for a geek or a jerk

Like

25 09 2011
senior60

with your ‘coq au vin’, am now convinced

that you are not a local

Like

26 09 2011
libertas

Not male, not local.
What next
Am a global citizen

What do u call sex in a trailer
Coq au vin (van)

Au revoir

Like

25 09 2011
carol99

Sa PNoy vs Self ay natawa ako
Multiple Personality ang style ni Kalbo
Panliligaw at babae ay walang panahon
Dahil ang kaharap ay PSP maghapon

break it down…

made my day!

Like

26 09 2011
Christian S. Santos

Epic rap battles of pinoy historyyyyy!!!!

Like

26 09 2011
kingkaio

yo libertas

u can actually write. why not make your own blog? you’re doing yourself a disservice by writing your paimpress lines here in the comments section. i think you can get an audience for your works. wag mo lang gawin dito kasi ang dating eh parang you’re challenging the professionalheckler. it doesn’t come out as complementing/complimenting the heckler’s posts. even if you can write better, salimpusa pa rin ang dating mo by doing that. please start your own blog and just share your link here. i think the heckler won’t mind. i’m being constructive here. wag mo sana masamain.

Like

26 09 2011
Paul

Everybody is welcome in this comment page. This is not the comment page of the Philippine Star. If the PH shares your sentiments, he should have censored Libertas’ entries. But he walks in a higher road. Diversity of opinions and style is a mark of open and secular societies or in this case, opinion page.

Like

26 09 2011
libertas

Thanks
But lets be clear – ph is the master.
My comments are inspired by him.
I appreciate his humour; insights and intellect.
I dont compete because i am no competition.
I support the blog through my comments – i hope.
I am grateful that i can use his space to let off steam/ make comments, and that he is a social observer of the highest order and an oasis of free expression.
Support ph.

Like

27 09 2011
timpaul

Paul, meet libertas. Libertas, meet Paul. Or you two are one and the same?

Like

27 09 2011
libertas

very good.
we were seperated at birth.
i was traded into a trappist monastery
and now can only communicate via the web

Like

28 09 2011
hikatalomato

@kingkoy

pagbigyan na natin si libertas. anong magagawa natin kung puno ng katalinuhan yung tao (second only to me).

at isa pa, may sense naman ang mga sinasabi niya (if you have 140+ IQ)

so let libertas stay where he belong. here.

Like

26 09 2011
ovalboy

hep… hep…. catfight!!!!
why don’t you two just kiss each others bottom and make up?

(from “Desperate Housewives”)

Like

28 09 2011
Zina Marlyn Lorenzo Fronda

Brilliant! One of your best PH….

Like

30 09 2011
Kafka Okada

was this used last nyt at may tamang balita?

Like

30 09 2011
professionalheckler

with permission of course. not the first time though that TV shows have used my posts. at least 4 other programs have featured them. ok lang ‘yon. share. 🙂

Like

30 09 2011
Disgruntled Bystander

The best!!!!

Like

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