REPORTS SAY the most dangerous place for journalists today is war-torn Iraq… while the most dangerous place for warring couples is any branch of SM Supermalls.

Police were looking into three angles in the shooting incident involving two minors, ages 13 and 16 inside SM Pampanga: suicide, jealousy, and stupidity of SM security.

Three shooting incidents have happened in three branches of SM Supermalls this year. One in Luzon (SM Pampanga), one in NCR (SM North Edsa) and one in the Visayas (SM Delgado-Iloilo). Residents of Mindanao have been advised to shop temporarily at Robinsons Malls.

This just in: The United States and South Korea have issued travel advisories for its citizens who are planning to shop at SM Supermalls.

Four of the 12 biggest shopping malls in the world are branches of SM Supermalls. SM’s chain of malls also holds the distinction of having the world’s lousiest security.

Planking has become a fad in the Philippines. Some people have taken planking to a new level doing the stunt in dangerous, unexpected places like rooftops, billboards or public restrooms. In the Philippines, the most dangerous place to go planking is in front of Congressman Winnie Castelo’s residence.

Quezon City Representative Winston “Winnie” Castelo has filed the controversial “Anti-Planking Act of 2011.” It may sound stupid, silly and dumb but in reality, it is.

Congressman Winston Castelo has denounced militant students who did planking in recent street protests saying “planks disrupt what should be normal traffic.” Therefore I conclude, Castelo is way better off as an MMDA traffic enforcer than a lawmaker.

QC Rep. Winnie Castelo has filed the “Anti-Planking Act of 2011.” Last June, he proposed House Bill 4774, an act that would require lotto winners to donate 20 percent of their winnings to the government. Look out Lito Lapid! You’ve got competition.

For several hours on Tuesday, the Anti-Planking Act of 2011 became a trending topic on Twitter worldwide. Which is not surprising since the concept of idiocy is universal.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure Congressman Castelo has nothing but good intentions. It’s just that he expresses his good intentions in a stupid way.

Quezon City Rep. Winnie Castelo has denounced planking in street protests calling it alarming. Just like his hairstyle.

Congressman Winston Castelo is going after planking rallyists… when he should be running after his own hairstylist.

Top 6 [Rumored] Bills to Be Filed Soon by Quezon City Rep. Winston Castelo

No. 6: The Anti-Flaking Act of 2011: An act seeking to provide free gugo shampoo to Filipino homes to fight dandruff and prevent alopecia

No. 5: The Anti-Military Haircut Act of 2011: An act requiring all Filipino men to sport long bangs

No. 4: The Anti-LOLz Act of 2011. An act banning the use of LOL or LOLz in text messages and Facebook/Twitter status if the person couldn’t prove that s/he made a sound when s/he laughed

No. 3: The Anti-LQ in Malls Act of 2011: An act preventing lovers, partners, or couples from entering malls and department stores if they’re at odds with each other

No. 2: The Anti-Love Life Jokes Act of 2011: An act banning elective government officials from injecting love life humor in speeches

And the No. 1 [rumored] bill to be filed soon by QC Rep. Winston Castelo…

The Anti-Annoying Words and Phrases Act of 2011: An act outlawing the use of words and phrases like ‘In fairness,’ ‘Actually,’ ‘Waley’ and ‘You already!” in classrooms

WHAT IS HAPPENING to our country? Really. A 13-year-old boy shoots his alleged 16-year-old lover in a popular shopping mall. A UP alumnus in Congress files an anti-planking bill. And Vice President Jejomar Binay is the country’s most trusted top government official according to a survey. Strange times indeed.

Most Trusted
According to the latest Pulse Asia survey, Vice President Binay is the most trusted among top government officials. Eighty-six percent of Filipinos trust him. The remaining 14 percent were not able to receive his text blasts.

The Leftists
Again, strange times.
Noon: Ang mahigpit na kalaban ng maka-Kaliwang grupo, militar, mga sundalo.
Ngayon: Ang mahigpit na kalaban ng maka-Kaliwang grupo, si Edwin Lacierda, spokesperson ng pangulo.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXYIyLgbaO8uCSvX1mUbILgGsgiT-uowK1yWcJtzMJdE6JjYgNBong Wants Shamcey
Sen. Bong Revilla says he wants Shamcey Supsup to be his leading lady in the film fest entry “Panday 3.” But sources say Shamcey has made it clear that the first career that she loved was architecture, not showbiz. If her fans do love her, they should love architecture too.

Jinkee’s Challenge
On Tuesday, Jinkee Pacquiao vowed to give away an Hermes bag as a reward to anyone who could prove that her husband, Congressman Manny Pacquiao was still seeing other women. This just in! This morning, Jinkee gave one to herself.

Breaking News:
The 13-year-old boy who allegedly committed suicide, and his 16-year-old ‘friend’ whom he shot inside SM Pampanga have been declared “brain dead.” Tragic. In less than 24 hours, we have two ‘brain dead’ people. My friend insists there are three but I think the case of the anti-planking congressman is different.
“The more laws, the less justice.”
~Marcus Tullius Cicero

Quote of the Weak
“Whether they would admit it or not, the PISTON-led transport strike is a dud! Noticed how leftists are so onion-skinned? Tinawag lang perjuicio ang strike, pumputok ang butchi nila! Mahilig bumanat pero mga pikon pala!”
~Presidential spokesperson Atty. Edwin Lacierda

Enjoy the rest of the week! Ingat!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


  1. really really, what is happening to our country na nga ba?

    drugs, lack of moral values are two of the most pressing
    problems of our times…

    narinig nyo ba ang isang 16-year old who killed his 8-month
    pregnant mom and his 5-year old step sister?

    of a nursing student who killed his mom and buried her in their
    own backyard?

    nakakalungkot, really…


    1. What is happening and WHY

      Lack of inspirational role models in govt, education etc.

      They publish stories when any filipino does well abroad. Ok, But tell more of successes here in education, technology etc. There are some young committed entrepreneurs, scientists, teachers here.

      Dont be unpaid public relations for narcissistic politicians and fill the news with trivia about their indulgent lives and of their wives. This is not desperate housewives of forbes park

      Have social debates and education based programmes on tv

      Make people more aware and involved. They feel disenfranchised and powerless

      Wealth gap between rich and poor is increasing

      Family disintegration (ofw’s)

      Build up of resentment, frustration, anger & envy

      Corrupt and unfair justice system

      Quality and standard of life not improving for majority

      Lack of jobs and opportunity

      People dont see enough action or political will, just same old games and grandstanding


      1. everything starts at home, the honing of a child begins
        the moment he can start to walk, to understand things,
        those surrounding him must act accordingly because they
        are the role models…

        the adage that , a mother’s place is at home, is still the best,
        to look after the husband and the children, aside of course
        from housemaids if they can afford, acting as the first teacher,
        slowly instilling moral values, not to mention anymore a must,
        God fearing and God loving, so that when the child grows old,
        he will not be swayed easily by bad elements…

        not to be forgotten is the value of communication, debate and
        quarrel if you must just to get your message thru..

        and sharon’s ad regarding having family meal together, i don’t
        see any reason why it must passed thru a presidential proclamation,
        to happen every 4th monday of september, it must be an everyday occurence…


    2. that’s what you call a slow news day, people don’t over react, things like this happen everyday, but left uncovered by media since bug news in politics or entertainment is the buzz of the day, but in this case, since there is nothing to report, might as well focus on violence, since it sells


  2. letter from america – with apologies to alistair cooke

    New york, new york. So good i visit it twice.
    Why cant manila be more like new york – hamburgers, clean toilets, decent TV, well dressed young men.

    Sat next to president obama. He was quite diffident towards me. Cant think why. Anyway got the photo for the newspapers back home.

    UK PM cameron asked if i was a planker. At least i think that is what he said.

    Castelo should introduce an anti-plonker act. No idiots, dunderheads, fools in congress. It would save a fortune in pork barrel

    Questions about shalani. Made up an answer worthy of a miss universe contestant, and even smiled whilst i said it, but then i have a permanent grin. The song i really had in my mind was ‘ain’t that a bitch’ by aerosmith

    Dr aquino. Sounds good eh. Got a free degree. Next 3 degrees. Visits to japan and UK planned. No degree, no go.
    I will be the most intelligent president in the world. Take that professor gloria. I will teach you a lesson.

    Open, transparent, honest was the theme of my speech. Thank god noone asked about FoI, hacienda luisita, or pork barrel politics

    Asked my broker to buy some shares in hermes.
    Anyone carrying one now needs to wear a t-shirt – ‘no, i haven’t’ or ‘pacman gives you herpes, i mean hermes’

    Must go. The philippines is helpless without my inspirational leadership.
    And am needed to open a new jollibee branch. Yum yum. The diabetes diet.

    Pinnochino PhD
    You nose i never lie


  3. ” the more laws, the less justice” very true

    the more religious education in schools/universities, the less honesty and decency in society. paradoxical.

    anti-pnoy act – ibm can tell us who you are
    anti-humour act – satirical websites to be banned
    anti-FoI act – we are not a democracy education in schools/universities, the less honesty and decency in society. paradoxical.

    anti-pnoy act – ibm can tell us who you are
    anti-humour act – satirical websites to be banned
    anti-FoI act – we are not a democracy


  4. .Quezon City representative Winston Winnie Castelos proposal to ban planking by students or group of students during street rallies and protest actions has raised eyebrows and drawn flak from netizens in social networking sites. Approved What prompted Congressman Castelo to file the controversial bill was the scene where members of a student organization planked during the September 19 transport strike along Espana road in Sampaloc Manila.


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