PEOPLE ARE STILL talking about the giant reptile caught in Agusan Del Sur last Saturday.  Experts say the crocodile measures 21 feet long & 3.5 feet wide, and weighs 1,075 kilos. Experts didn’t identify though the specific district where the crocodile lived.

Public viewing of the giant crocodile at a man-made lagoon in Agusan del Sur has been temporarily suspended to allow the animal to rest. Public viewing in Batasan Complex is still open though.

According to experts, the giant crocodile recently caught in Bunawan, Agusan Del Sur may have been roaming the waters since 1961. Or as a voters would call it, ‘trapo.’

Experts believe the giant crocodile captured in Agusan recently may have been roaming the waters since 1961. They are verifying reports that it was a three-termer reptile.

Bunawan, Mayor Edwin Elorde said, “Kailangan din nating protektahan ang buwaya dahil sabay tayong ginawa ng Panginoon. May proteksyon talaga siya sa batas.” To which Congressman Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman said, “True!”

Breaking News: The crocodile suspected of attacking residents in Agusan is filing a harassment suit against the hunter who captured it. The crocodile claims he was provoked by the hunter when the latter yelled, “Pucha, buwaya!”

This just in: The hunter, who was attacked by the crocodile will no longer file a complaint against the animal. The hunter withdrew his complaint because he feared for his and his family’s safety. The crocodile’s notorious relatives are still out there!

Not True: Agusan hunters categorically denied rumors that a Porsche Carerra was found near the area where the giant crocodile was captured. Tsismis lang.

The Punch
Sarangani Representative Manny Pacquiao is still the No. 1 pound-for-pound puncher in the world. The biggest gainer however, who is up by 100 notches to second place is Lanao del Sur Representative Mohammed Ali Pangandaman.

Reports say Floyd Mayweather Jr. is still hesitant to fight Manny Pacquiao next year. If the ongoing negotiations fail, Pacquiao is open to fighting Congressman Pangandaman.

Ayala Technohub security guard Ricardo Bonayog told the press he fell to the ground when Congressman Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman punched him twice last August 31. But Pangandaman denies mauling Bonayog saying he just slapped him with paper. One ream.

Deputy Speaker Erin Tañada says the incident involving Congressman Pangandaman “tarnishes the image of Congress.” Maybe what Erin wanted to say was, “further tarnishes.”

Reports say Congressman Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman floored security guard Ricardo Bonayog during an encounter last week. The report fueled speculations that Pangandaman drinks his own urine too.

Congressman Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman denied that he mauled a security guard at the Ayala Technohub in Quezon City last week. The solon says he is filing a harassment case against the security guard. Now, that’s harassment!

Security guard Ricardo Bonayog has withdrawn his complaint against Congressman Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman.The Pangandamans now boast an impressive record of 2 wins and 0 losses.

Lanao Del Sur Rep. Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman allegedly punched and floored a security guard last August 31. The WBC, WBA, and IBF refused to award any belt to Pangandaman though saying they do not sanction fights between a heavyweight and a lightweight.

Ang Galing Pinoy party-list Rep. Mikey Arroyo is willing to facilitate a settlement between Ricardo Bonayog and Congressman Pangandaman. But House Speaker and Quezon City Rep. Feliciano Belmonte refuses to talk about a possible settlement – which is not really surprising since he could not even provide settlement for Quezon City squatters whose shanties were recently demolished.
“The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse.”
~Edmund Burke

Quote of the Weak
“Ang kalaban ko po malaking tao po. Ako po ordinaryong tao lang.”
~ Ayala Technohub security guard Ricardo Bonayog on his decision to withdraw the complaint against Lanao Del Sur Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman

“These were false accusations, I don’t know where they got this story to malign me!”
~Lanao Del Sur Rep. Mohammed Hussein Pangandaman

You Have Spoken
Pabor ba kayo sa panukalang 4-day workweek ni QC Rep. Winston Castelo?
-Sure! Why not? We need a longer break. 37.2%
-No way! Marami nang holidays. Sayang ang oras. 44.93%
-Wala akong work. Walang epek sa akin ‘yan! 17.87%

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Good luck to Team Captain Miggy Maniego (playing his last game) and to the UP Fighting Maroons in their championship game against the UE Red Warriors on Saturday. UP and UE have identical 2-11 win-loss record. UP Fight!

Enjoy the rest of the week!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

27 thoughts on “CROCS”

  1. ever since the yellow peril saw the emotional impact of cory’s death, and the political opportunities it offered, they have tried to market p-noy as ‘one of the lads’ to try and distract from his geeky nature and loner lifestyle. hence the porsche disaster, and the constant references to his love life – the masses lap it up.
    apart from being so disrespectful of women, he, and his advisors, will use them to mask his own failings and other well known issues.
    he is no officer or gentleman.
    nor is malacanan to leak casual meetings as dates and then refuse to comment, thereby inferring something may be true. how despicable and disrespectful to put hard working women in this position, who would never give gaynoy a second glance – even after a gallon of vodka.


  2. Idol PH, the story about this giant Philippine crocodile was also published in MSNBC. Base sa comments in that news report, people are worried about the welfare of this animal. Kawawa naman daw po sya kung sa isang “fenced cage” lang sya makukulong. I wonder what Americans will say kapag nalaman nila na maraming buwaya sa Pilipinas ang nakatira sa mga mansion. 🙂

    Eto po yung link sa news report:


  3. in time for the next election a group is going to publish filileaks – working title –
    a factual internet database account of all politicians:
    business links
    work performance/achievements
    legal/court cases
    tax and financial status

    that will start to sort out the criminals and hangers-on and give the voters a real picture of their representatives.

    power to the people


  4. according to dick cheneys new autobiography, cory aquino – that paragon of the people! – wanted her own people bombed so that she could stay in power.
    another traitor. dont let history be distorted and paint her as some virtue of democracy when the facts say otherwise.
    the words were fir the masses – the actions were quite different.
    she was tge fire-runner of the pouson dwarf. were they really that different.
    hacienda luisita baby


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