President Aquino is reportedly amazed at the very huge amount allocated by China to the Philippines. Unfortunately, nobody informed the President that it represents just half of China’s “downpayment” for our claim to the Spratlys.

In a speech before the Filipino community in Beijing, President Aquino lamented that his lovelife has gone from regular to light to zero just like Coca-Cola. If the President was complaining about a basic human right, China’s not the right place to talk about it.

Justice Secretary Leila de Lima lifted the watchlist order against Attorney Jose Miguel Arroyo last Thursday. This means that the former First Gentleman will no longer need to seek government permission when traveling outside the country – say, Algeria.
Last Thursday, September 1, President Aquino announced that Customs Commissioner Angelito Alvarez’ last day in office will be on September 15. Too soon huh! Alvarez wasn’t complaining though since the media had already informed him of his termination way back in June.

Today is September 3, 2011. There are only 112 days until Christmas. For Commissioner Angelito Alvarez it’s “12 days before Good Friday.”

New LTFRB Chief
There is a new LTFRB chair – lawyer Jaime Jacob. He’s a member of the Liberal Party and he lost in last year’s elections. Or as President Aquino’s search committee would say, “just exactly what we’re looking for.”

Nereus Acosta has been appointed as acting general manager of the Laguna Lake Development Authority. Jaime Jacob is the new LTFRB chairman. Ruffy Biazon’s appointment to the Bureau of Customs is expected to be announced soon. Acosta, Jacob, and Biazon are all members of the Liberal Party who lost in the last elections. Observers describe them as loyal, hardworking, competent, and ‘political accommodations.’

Public Service Announcement

Ciara on RH Bill
Defending her father, Sen. Tito Sotto on his anti-Reproductive Health bill stance, starlet Ciara Sotto says, “Ang ipinaglalaban ni Daddy, huwag kayong mas marunong pa sa Diyos. I believe that God will not create a world na masyadong marami ‘yong mga tao.” Apparently, Ciara’s not aware of the existence of China.

Shalani’s New Guy?
President Aquino’s former girlfriend, Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad is reportedly dating Pasig City Rep. Roman Romulo. Meanwhile, Iza Calzado who recently broke up with model/businessman Atticus King reportedly dated President Aquino before the latter visited China. Standard and Poor’s has denied it was behind the double downgrade.

Mexican boxer Juan Manuel Marquez revealed that he drinks his urine. That’s nothing compared to former President Arroyo who eats her words.
“Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
~Ronald Reagan

You Have Spoken
Do you segregate garbage at home?
-Absolutely. Dapat lang naman ‘di ba? 43.46%
-No. Ang hirap gawin eh. 21.99%
-Minsan lang. Kapag sinisipag. 34.55%

Congratulations to Direk Floy Quintos and Prof. (tama ba ako Lallie?) Layeta Bucoy for winning yet again in the prestigious Palanca Awards for Literature.

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Have a great weekend!

Author: professionalheckler

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11 thoughts on “IN”

  1. marquez drinks urine – so do drinkers of san miguel light.

    shalani soledad when asked about her love life said ‘it used to be like a coke zero , and now after a year of diet coke, i have found a 7up each night is just right’

    kris aquino says her lovelife is like a martini – ‘anywhere, anytime’ – especially on her weekends in hong kong


  2. Alam seguro ni Ciara the existence of China, only ayaw niya na bawiin ng China ang “DOWN PAYMENT’ na ibinigay kay P-Noy…ANyway here’s Ciara’s solution “”Pero for me kasi kung masyado na tayong marami. Ang daming ibang puwedeng trabaho, ang daming ibang puwedeng paglaanan, o pagtuunan ng pansin.”….


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