TIME’S UP!

JUST SO YOU KNOW: My dot com site: http://professionalheckler.com was hacked! The Professional Heckler falls victim to the Professional Hacker! Darn. We’re trying to fix the site now. Hacked or not, heckling must go on.

PALACE SOURCES say President Aquino has selected former congressman Ruffy Biazon as a replacement for Customs Commissioner Angelito Alvarez. Everyone has been informed of the President’s decision to replace Alvarez except for Alvarez.

Customs Commissioner Angelito Alvarez  denied rumors that he had resigned. Alvarez says he will continue to perform his duties until such time that the President tells him to step down or the Philippine Daily Inquirer banners his sacking.

Embattled Customs Commissioner Angelito Alvarez told the press that he would not step down, and vowed to fight ‘til he’s removed. Alvarez was quick to deny rumors though that his role model was Colonel Moammar Gadhafi.

New Appointees
Defeated senatorial candidate Nereus Acosta has been appointed presidential adviser for environmental protection. Another defeated senatorial candidate, Ruffy Biazon will reportedly be appointed Customs commissioner. This has been a great week for losers.

Bookkeeper
Rowena Del Rosario, the former bookkeeper of the Arroyo firm LTA, Inc., has been released from detention. If needed though, Del Rosario has to come back and answer questions from the members of the Senate prosecution panel.

Irked by Rowena Del Rosario’s answers, Sen. Panfilo Lacson told the former bookkeeper, “Alam mo, ang galing mong magtanga-tangahan.” To which, Rowena replied, “Kayo naman po, ang galing magtagu-taguan.”

More on Gaddafi
At press time, rebels claim they have surrounded the compound of Colonel Gadhafi. However, there’s no word yet on the whereabouts of Colonels Gadhafi, Khaddafy, Qaddafi, Kadhafi, and Qaddafy.

Col. Moammar Gaddafi has ordered his men to fight until the end. The rebels have a backup plan though. If they lose this battle, they’ll demand a substate from the government.

Analysts believe that the fall of Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi could pull gas prices down. You know what else is going down because of Gadhafi? The cost of Botox!

Reports say Colonel Moammar Gadhafi is still in Tripoli. The embattled Libyan leader couldn’t leave the country because Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has placed him on the immigration watch list.

In an audio tape released to a local radio station, Libyan President Moammar Gadhafi said his fight against the rebels will end in victory or death. But oppositionists started to doubt the authenticity of the tape when Ignacio Bunye told them that there were in fact, two versions of the recording.

Steve Jobs has resigned. When Col. Moammar Gadhafi heard this, he asked, “Who’s the President of the United States now?”

Earthquake!
The eastern coast of the US was recently hit by a magnitude 5.8 earthquake. Yup, 5.8, or as the Japanese would say, “Zzzzz.”
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“At 15, life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.”
~Maya Angelou

Quote of the Weak
“How can you be arrogant to say that? You have a long way to go as far as maturity and wisdom is concerned. Your kind of breed of public servant has no place in public service. Kami pag upo namin dito hiniram lang namin ito wala kaming karapatan maging arogante. Appointed official ka lang, ano karapatan mo maging arogante? Iwan mo pagiging spoiled brat mo sa bahay mo! Matuto ka maging humble!”
– Zambales Rep. Milgaros “Mitos” Magsaysay to Communications Secretary Ricky Carandang

Personal
Thank you so much to everyone who supported me in the first ever Tatt Awards. Kayo ang tunay na winner para sa akin! Maraming salamat po! Winners will be announced Friday. Watch the program live online!

Have a great weekend!

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Author: professionalheckler

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20 thoughts on “TIME’S UP!”

  8. The new release of wikileaks cables show that FG (fat guy) has been scamming the country continously. The cables expose the PNP armour/gun scam.
    If US Embassy knew about this then so did everyone in Senate etc.
    But those in glass houses dont throw stones so they kept quiet.
    These old-timers are part of the problem and have no interest in the solution – which involves getting rid of the elitist do-nothings from which come the lazy do-nothing presidents.
    a vicious circle for the poor.
    a financial cabal for the politicians.
    money without working – the communist oligarchs and mafias approach to getting rich at others expensee

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  12. Where is Kaddafy?. Maybe in Manila. Until now the PNoy’s administration still recognizes the dictator as the legitimate leader of Libya even as the Libyan mission in Manila already switched allegiance to NTC. And this is a person who never fails to remind us that his family brought democracy back to the Philippines. . .

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  13. congrats idol for winning as the Wordslayer sa TATT awards. thanks din sa pagpapaunlak na magpapicture, kahit ayaw mo sa mga picture takings. hehehe. 🙂

    waahhhh professional heckler, tinabla ng professional hacker!!!
    hahaha kung sino man yan professional hacker na yan, wala pa rin syang magagawa sa professional heckler. hehehe.

    congrats again sir. more TATTawards in the coming years. 🙂

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    http://rojan88.wordpress.com

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