PARIS

Paris and the President
Rumors say socialite, hotel heiress and one-time sex video star Paris Hilton will meet with President Aquino in Malacañang. The rumor has prompted Standard & Poor’s, Moody’s, and Fitch to downgrade the Philippines’ IQ.

Internet reports say Paris Hilton will meet with President Aquino. The heiress and the hairless.

Unconfirmed reports say socialite and hotel heiress Paris Hilton will meet with President Aquino. Paris is planning to advise the President to try the Simple Life.

Malacañang has denied rumors that President Aquino will meet with the famous socialite. He’d rather spend time with his Marlboro lights.

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda clarified that contrary to initial reports, the President will not meet with Paris Hilton… much to the delight of model Georgina Wilson.

GMA’s Condition
Lawyer Raul Lambino was quoted to have said that doctors have advised former President Arroyo to seek medical treatment abroad. Or as critics would call it, asylum.

Substate
The Moro Islamic Liberation Front has proposed the creation of a Muslim “substate” within the republic. Some analysts believe it is actually feasible. If a “substate” worked for Makati City, it could also work for Mindanao.

Migz and Quiboloy
Davao-based Pastor Apollo Quiboloy of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ the Name Above Every Name has endorsed the appointment of former senator Juan Miguel Zubiri as Tourism secretary. There! He just doomed Zubiri’s chances.

Pastor Apollo Quiboloy praised Migz Zubiri for his “vision” and “charisma” making him a potential successor… to Quiboloy himself.

Remember what Audrey Tan-Zubiri told the media after Migz’ resignation? Audrey said, “We are going to make baby No. 3.” Well, guess what! The other night, the couple tried. Unfortunately, Zubiri did not finish; he quit.
——————————————————————————–
“Wal-Mart… do they like make walls there?”
~Paris Hilton


Quote of the Weak
“I had more panties than shoes. It’s true. I wore black panties. They displayed it and it was good all my panties were black. I had thousands of it.”
– Former First Lady Imelda Marcos

Extra! Extra!
Here’s your bi-monthly horoscope.

Elsewhere
Biz Buzz: ‘Twisting the truth’

PDI: Imeldific at 82

PDI: I found a tooth in my ice cream

You Have Spoken
Kung tatakbong senador sa 2013 si Migz Zubiri, iboboto mo ba siya?
-Pag-iisipan ko muna. Matagal pa naman. 33.88%
-Definitely not! 33.47%
-OO naman! In fairness, marami siyang nagawa! 32.64%

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Author: professionalheckler

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24 thoughts on “PARIS”

  1. paris hilton has just been voted the 7th most hated person in the US , so she should feel at home at malacanang, and will also be on a par with her intellectual sparring partner – pacman.
    those 2 would be an instant cure for insomnia.
    at least they both have greed in common.

    at malacanang, and will also be on a par with her intellectual sparring partner – pacman.
    those 2 would be an instant cure for insomnia.
    at least they both have greed in common.

    Like

  2. hahaha ayus ang Makati substate ah. oo nga naman, kasi sa Makati ganito kayo, baka pede rin sa Mindanao ganun sila. hahahaha. nice one there idol PH. 🙂

    anyways sa mga followers po ni PH, ongoing pa rin ang voting for #TATTAwards. and as of this moment eh leading, at bumabaha ng boto para sa kanya, i just want to INFORM. pero kelangan din po ng tulong nina Tonyo Cruz for Thought Mover and Beth Angsico for The Advocate, sana po tulungan din naten sila. Thanks 🙂 http://tattoo.globe.com.ph/tattawards/vote

    http://rojan88.wordpress.com

    Like

  3. paris has said how much she loves filipino food – balut and durian no doubt.

    and how much she loves the pacquios – right.

    anyone would think she was here to sell something.

    calling manny pacquio president lost her a photo op at the palace.

    at least she experienced the national past-time – phone stealing. welcome to the 3rd world

    Like

    1. Ano pa ‘Teh? Ano pa?

      Sige lang, ilabas mo na lahat ng hinaing mo, para naman sa susunod na post ni PH eh magagandang pangitain naman ang aming mabasa mula sayo.

      Kakapagod din kasi, sige ka, baka sabihin ni Senior60, nakakahawa na rin ang pagiging nega mo!

      Angst pait pait!

      Try mo kayang tumawa kahit minsan lang….. it’ll do wonders saimo!

      Do it….NOW NA!

      Wag nang maghanap ng pagtatawanan, just face the mirror and for sure, matatawa ka na! Promise!

      Like

      1. hahaha ako na naman, lagi na lang ako, to borrow from
        you etchos…

        basta ako, tapos na kay libertas, ano lang yan, kung ano ang
        personality ng tao, yun na yun, pero, in fairness kay anon,
        marami syang posts na sa kanya ko lang nababasa, at yan
        ay kung naiintindihan ko hahaha, sometimes nga, feeling ko
        isa syang palace insider or close sila ni lacierda…

        Like

      2. naku ‘Teh Libertas, on sekan tot, dafat pala tanggalin yang mirror mirror on the wall sainyo, eh talaga naman palang puro nega ang nakikita mo dyan!

        Basagin yan… NOW NA!

        Hayyyyy! Aikonanga! Baka mahawa pa ako sayo!

        Ang sarap atang maging masaya, no? Bwahahahaha!

        Like

      1. Hi Senior! Opo, dito na ako sa aming munting barrio, masarap ang ihip ng hangin dito sa gitna ng palayan, ibang iba kumpara sa init ng disyerto sa gitnang silangan.

        Masasaya ang mga tao dito ….. kasi di sila nagtatrabaho ng 20 hours a day at di nag-eexpect na ma-appreciate ang kanilang efforts.

        Sarap talaga ng simpleng buhay lang, ano? Yun bang hindi mo pinoproblema at pinakikialaman ang buhay ng iba na wala namang direktang konek sayo!

        Like

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