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FYI

7 08 2011

BEFORE YOU read any further, I would like to INFORM you that some of the items on this blog may not please you. Should you decide to read on, and realize later that this wasn’t amusing enough, please do not blame me, the bystanders, the MMDA or the reporter who recommended you this site. You’ve been warned.

De Lima Apologizes
Justice Secretary Leila De Lima apologized to First Gentleman Mike Arroyo for declaring that he did not go through immigration when he left the country last Sunday. De Lima lamented, “I wasn’t fully informed! It’s as if Immigration people were waiting for me to do just that: commit a mistake!”

Earlier last week, Justice Secretary Leila De Lima told the media that the Bureau of Immigration has no record of Attorney Arroyo leaving for Hong Kong last Sunday. In fact, prior to the discovery of the Immigration Bureau’s spelling error, the DOJ announced six new witnesses to prove that Arroyo did not go through immigration.

Immediately after learning that a subordinate fed the wrong information on Attorney Arroyo’s trip to Hong Kong, Justice Secretary De Lima apologized. To prove her sincerity, De Lima has placed the subordinate on the immigration watch list.

Justice Secretary Leila De Lima said, “If the first gentleman is seeking for my apology then I’m humbly doing it.” To which Hubert Webb said, “Eh sa ‘kin, kailan?”

Japan Meeting
A secret meeting was recently held in Tokyo, Japan between Moro Islamic Liberation Front chair Al Haj Murad Ebrahim and the new chairman of the government peace panel, Benigno Simeon Aquino III.

Reports say the President’s trip to Japan was unannounced and unofficial. It was so secret the Bureau of Immigration has no record of his departure.

This just in: Malacañang has denied rumors that President Aquino secretly left last night for Utrecht, The Netherlands.

Lao & Order
Much has been said about last week’s Internet sensation, Christopher Lao. The UP Law graduate has already apologized… earning praise from friends who believe that he could be Justice Secretary someday.

Campaigns
GMA News is promoting the responsible use of social media through its campaign called “Think Before You Click.” Meanwhile, the MMDA will soon promote the responsible use of cars through its campaign called “Think Before You Drive… Through A Flood.”

August Weather
PAGASA says two to three tropical cyclones are expected to enter the Philippine Area of Responsibility this month. Flashfloods and landslides are possible. People are advised to avoid low-lying zones, flood-prone areas, and Jun Veneracion.

The Christopher Lao Incident: How they reacted

President Aquino: “Kung puwede lang ho sana ay ibalato n’yo na lang kay Mr Lao ang konting privacy na natitira sa kanya.”

Manny Pacquiao: “Nasa Baybul kasi ‘yun. Sabi sa Mateo Kapitulu Katursi, Bersikulu Binti-Singku: Nang madaling araw na’y sumunod sa kanila si Hisus na naglalakad sa ibabaw ng tubig!” Now you know! Nasa Baybul sabi eh.”

Sen. Juan Miguel Zubiri: “For honor and dignity.”

President Arroyo: “He did what’s right, he did what’s best, and God took care of the resht.”

Virgilio Garcillano: “Bakit?!? Inamin ba ni Christopher Lao na siya ang nasa video? Ang totoo n’yan… spliced ang video!”

Atty. Edwin Lacierda: “At the end of the day, what’s important is he survived the ordeal.”

Bishop Teodoro Bacani: “Kadiri!”

Atty. Mike Arroyo: “This is plain and simple persecution. You are persecuting him!”

Sharon Cuneta: “Wala pong duda mga kaibigan, he is the biggest loser.”

Kris Aquino: “Gosh, shocked talaga ako sa video. I was like… OMG! He’s kinda cute pa naman! Promise! Aha-ha-ha! Ayoko na ngang mag-comment. Baka mag-react na naman si James at sabihing malandi ako. Wait! Bettina, can you ask Boy if puwedeng iguest ‘tong Lao na ‘to sa Bottomline next week!? I swear, magri-rate to!”

Amanda Coling: “Hindi ko po sinasabing mali o tama ang ginawa ni Christopher Lao. Kung pwede po sana, ayoko munang pag-usapan kung anuman ang nangyari.”

Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos: “Dear Congresswoman Arroyo, Christopher Lao really needs a brand new car, possibly a 4 x 4. On his behalf, I will be anticipating your favorable response on this regard.”

Shocking Zubiri
Some people are still in shock after Senator Juan Miguel Zubiri’s resignation. Arguably, he was last week’s biggest newsmaker. What’s more remarkable was the fact that he made news without even trying to drive through a flooded street.

The Arroyos
Good news for the former First Gentleman who’s still in Hong Kong: his wife, the former president has been discharged from St. Luke’s Medical Center Friday. In even better news for FG, Mrs. Arroyo was advised to rest her voice for at least a week.

Suicide
According to a study on suicides conducted by Maria Theresa Redaniel, May Antonnette Lebanan-Dalida, David Gunnell, the most common reasons for self harm in the Philippines were family and relationship problems. In number 2 was the government’s anti-corruption witch-hunt.

UPCAT 2011
Some 70,000 high school seniors, perhaps the largest batch in history, took the UP College Admission Test. The five-hour examination consists of subtests on language proficiency, mathematics, science, reading comprehension… and just for this batch, common sense.

Overseas…
US President Barack Obama celebrated his 50th birthday recently. He started the day by personally renewing his license at the LTO.
————————————————————————————–
“Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.”
~C.E.Stowe

You Have Spoken
Ano ang reaksyon mo sa pagbibitiw ni Sen. Juan Miguel Zubiri?
-Isang kapuri-puring hakbang. Mabuhay ka! 28.67%
-Guilty kasi! Graceful exit lang ‘yan. 50%
-Wala akong pakialam. Mababa pa rin ang suweldo ko. 21.33%

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Have a safe, sexy, and productive week ahead!

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27 responses

7 08 2011
JorP

At least some portions of the entry can now “belie” rumours that TPH won’t involve UP in some negative light on this blog . hehehe 🙂

But I’d still corssing figners for your exclusive interview 🙂

Like

8 08 2011
senior60

kaya walang nag inform kay christopher ay dahil sa, later on,

tutulungan sya ng mga tambay para pagkaperahan, ganuon

lang yun ka simple

Like

8 08 2011
No, Chris. There’s a flood warning sign before you reach Mother Ignacia Ave. « Asking about anything. Writing about everything.

[…] in Twitter and Yahoo. Literally everyone has written about him, including The Professional Heckler (https://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/fyi), New York Times reporter Carlos Conde […]

Like

8 08 2011
Anonymous

Pahabol na reaksiyon ni Sen. Enrile on Lao’s incident: “Many people in this life possess physical courage but very rarely bone would see a man standing up for what he really believes in”

=)good morning PH!

Like

8 08 2011
forest

pahabol na reaksyon ni Sen. Johnny on Lao’s incident: “… Many people in this life possess physical courage but very rarely bone would see a man standing up for what he really believes in”

=) Good am, PH!

Like

8 08 2011
amateur heckler

“I wasn’t fully informed! It’s as if (Immigration or GMA?) people were waiting for me to do just that: commit a mistake!” – Leilao

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8 08 2011
pH2

vicky belo: ” milagro! walang plastic “

Like

8 08 2011
libertas

de lima should have typed in cockroach. that would have found the despicable peasant

Like

9 08 2011
senior60

etchos, please help me decipher what libertas is conveying

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10 08 2011
etchosera

Jaena Kuh Senior!

I cannot even decipher what decipher means!

ahah ahah ahah!

Like

8 08 2011
senior60

mabuti na lang at taga kapuso ang nakakita kay christopher,

kung taga kapamilya pa, patay kang christopher ka, ang oa oa

kaya ng mga yon

Like

9 08 2011
crissy_dear

Hahaha! So true!

Like

9 08 2011
Anonymous

Oa ka din

Like

8 08 2011
markpere2010

Included na ho pala ang common sense sa UPCAT ngayon. Baka ho marami lalo ang hindi makapasa nyan. Hahaha. Totoo po kaya ang balitang hihingi ng asylum ang mag-asawang Arroyo from the Portuguese government? Hmm…

Like

8 08 2011
Claro Ramirez

Our television news is in such a dismal state. Let this GMA-7 slip-up be a wake-up call to all news networks – GMA, ABS-CBN and TV-5. You owe us, the Filipino public, the most basic principle behind news – objectivity!!!
And stop treating us like idiots!

Like

9 08 2011
senior60

i beg to disagree with this one, i don’t think so that the
news network owe us anything, on the contrary, we should
be thankful that we have them to feed us news, be it objective
or otherwise

and the feeling of being treated like an idiot depends upon
each one of us, i, for one, doesn’t

Like

13 08 2011
Claro Ramirez

well, it might be high time you felt like an idiot, senior60.

do not be thankful for a biased news. you have a right to the unblemished, untainted truth.

“i, for one, doesn’t.” —- really? i hate to break it to you, but regardless of what you feel or define as idiocy, you are already one.

Like

8 08 2011
Super_Junior60

GMA’s doctor should have made a good lawyer. Imagine recommending that GMA not speak for a while! Best advice ever.

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8 08 2011
GhostEmployee

Quoting : Umabuso raw ang users ng social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc) sa pag-handle sa insidenteng kinasangkutan ni Christopher Lao.

Hindi kaya si Christopher Lao ang umabuso kasi nagpa interview pa sya sa news team. Yung iba nga na Chinese, pag hinahabol ng cameraman or media, nagtatago,umiiwas, sya harapan pang nagsalita at nanisi pa. Kung hindi sya nagsalita at nanisi, may makaka alam kaya na si Chris Lao yun?!

Like

8 08 2011
rojan88

nice parting quotes 🙂 san mo kinukuha mga quotes mo PH? hehehe

Like

9 08 2011
etchosera

for sure, wala yan sa baybul……maski itanong mo pa kay Pacman!

ahah ahah ahah!

http:\\etchosera@chorvaness.com

Like

9 08 2011
danny

@etchosera:

…sir etchosera, pansin ko lng, bkit lagi mong napapansin ung link ni sir rojan88?

…talagang nag-imbento ka pa ng dummy link add ha? hehehe sarcasm ba tawag dyan?

Like

10 08 2011
etchosera

Ayyyy! It’s a form of compliment po.

Sabi nga, you gotta do what you gotta do to sell your product.

Anyway, I am very grateful, no?

So, how did you find my link……. did you find it?

Like

8 08 2011
elleica

tama ang galing ng parting quotes mo mr PH..noon pa ako ngbabasa ng blog mo at parating akma ang quotes mo.

Like

9 08 2011
mangcruz

Hello PH,

If you do not like my comments, maybe I failed to “THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK”. But please do not worry … “I double checked, tripled check” … before “I apologized”.

May I submit a new government’s motto: “DOUBLE CHECK, TRIPLE CHECK … BEFORE YOU APOLOGIZE.”

Like

25 08 2011
mlebanan

Hi Prof. Heckler, thanks for citing our study on suicide! I was just informed by my friend that you mentioned my name in your blog. Very very entertaining ang blog mo, will post this in my fb ha. thanks!

Like

25 08 2011
professionalheckler

you’re welcome! thanks for dropping by. i was looking for a material na puwedeng irelate ang suicide of that DBP lawyer and Google took me to that site. 🙂 Thank u rin.

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