OF WATER LILIES & CROCODILES

THE CITY OF COTABATO is still submerged in floodwaters. Apparently, clearing Rio Grande De Mindanao of up to 20 hectares of water lily growth wasn’t enough to control the flooding. People are now wondering: how can we rid the Spratlys of the Chinese when we couldn’t even rid our rivers of water lilies?

President Aquino visited Cotabato City Wednesday. He personally witnessed the threats posed by hectares and hectares of water hyacinth growth in Rio Grande De Mindanao. If the threat persists, the President will reportedly deploy  BRP Rajah Humabon to the mighty river.

LTO chief Virginia Torres has an unsolicited advice to solve the problem in Cotabato City: “take over the Rio Grande De Mindanao!”

But Albay Governor Joey Salceda has a more radical suggestion: “boycott all products from the river!”

Maguindanao Trial
The good news is NBN Channel 4 will air the live and non-stop coverage of the Maguindanao massacre trial. Even better news is… meron pa palang Channel 4!

Approval Rating
According to a study conducted by Pulse Asia, 7 out of 10 Filipinos approve of President Aquino’s performance. The other three were identified as Len, Liz, and Shalani.

Odd!
In Tanauan City, a poultry worker discovered  a newly-hatched chick with four feet. In another odd story, residents of Batasan Hills in Quezon City reported frequent sightings of crocodiles with two feet.

Meanwhile, the hunt is on for a crocodile that reportedly attacked and killed a 36-year-old man in Bataraza, Palawan Tuesday. Authorities are trying to determine the crocodile’s size, age, and district.

Speaking of crocodiles, former Pagcor chief… (sa ibang araw na nga lang.)

Philippines’ Wealthiest
In the annual Forbes list of richest Filipinos, GMA 7 executive Gilberto Duavit ranked 26th while Atty. Felipe Gozon was at No. 30. ABS-CBN’s Gabby Lopez was ranked 39th but he is confident of overtaking his GMA rivals in a separate survey to be conducted by Kantar (TNS) Media.

No to Necrophilia
Senators Manny Villar and Jinggoy Estrada have filed separate bills seeking to criminalize necrophilia – specifically, having sex with a corpse. The proposed measure has reportedly scared off prospective suitors of Madam Auring!
—————————————————————————–
“Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.”
~Samuel Taylor Coleridge, ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner’

Quotes of the Weak
“Sa ngayon pag-iisipan natin, gusto ko lang makita personally, doon sa mga parating binabaha. Paalala ko lang, ise-celebrate pa lang namin ng first year ng aming administration.”
~President Aquino in a speech during his visit to Cotabato City Wednesday

“Dapat, whether 1 year or 6 months ka palang, iyung ganitong problema may immediate solution na.”
~Cotabato City Mayor Japal Guiani reacting to the president’s statement

Photo of the Weak
Ano ang sinasabi ng lalaki sa larawan?
A: “Kung ‘di siguro ako naging pangulo, baka nagta-target shooting ako sa oras na ito.”
B: “Napakalamig naman sa siyudad na ito. Kasing-lamig ng pakikitungo ng mayor nila sa akin.”
C: “Parang gusto kong kumanta. Hmm, teka… 1, 2, 3! Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng water lily? Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng Rio Grande?”
D: “’Pag ‘di pa naman tumaas ang rating ko sa susunod na survey, ewan ko na lang.”

Elsewhere
Forbes Magazine: Henry Sy, 86 is richest Filipino

YouTube: Manny Pacquiao HP TouchPad with WebOS Commercial

Personal
From award-winning playwright, Layeta Bucoy:
Dramatic reading of ‘Hermano Puli’
July 9 (Sat) 6pm, CCP Conference Room
For inquiries, please call the CCP Dramatic Arts Division at 832-1125 locals 1606 to 1607, or visit the website at http://www.culturalcenter.gov.ph.

Have a safe weekend ahead!

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Author: professionalheckler

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28 thoughts on “OF WATER LILIES & CROCODILES”

  1. How rampant is necrophilia.
    Does it warrant senate time.
    Did they mistake rave parties for grave parties – a favourite of enrile and legarda, no doubt.
    they should outlaw bestiality.
    Porking the pig
    Muffin the mule
    Spanking the monkey
    Giving the goat.
    Choking the chicken
    Stop cruelty to animals, defenseless amoebas, and dirty innuendoes.

    Like

    1. Hahaha. Logical yan at yan ay pasimpleng blaming the previous admin pa rin.

      “Sa ngayon pag-iisipan natin, gusto ko lang makita personally, doon sa mga parating binabaha. Paalala ko lang, ise-celebrate pa lang namin ng first year ng aming administration.”

      Ito ang karugtong: Ang talagang sanhi ng pagbabaha ay sapagkat ninakaw ng nakaraang pangulo ang pondo na nararapat sana ginamit sa paglutas ng problema sa baha.

      See, it’s logical, it’s still GMA’s fault.

      Like

      1. Yep, blame everything on the previous administration. In fact, while we’re at it, why don’t we also blame the heavy rains on GMA. It’s alright because the only reason why we put someone to replace her is to just echo all our complaints. I mean, we don’t wanna put too much pressure on the new president, right? Lest it will consume his time on doing his “other” activities, right? C’mon, let’s cut him some slack. It’s just his first year. Don’t you guys know how hard it is to give speeches that would tell you of how disgusted he is about those who criticize him?! That could take all of his brain power man!

        You people don’t know how hard it is on him to rise every morning and go to work. He could’ve just planned all his time on his target shooting or maybe, I don’t know, playing PSP…

        Get your priorities straight, people (or your expectations). Don’t put too much pressure on the president. You know he could only take so much! Phffft!

        Like

  2. kung makareklamo nman si Mayor. tsk tsk. “Dapat, whether 1 year or 6 months ka palang, iyung ganitong problema may immediate solution na.” Eh sya nga ang immediate na nakakakita ng problema, ano nb ang nagawa nya. siguro kung binigyan sya ng cheque ng calamity fund hindi yan magrereklamo.hehehe

    at ito nman si Pnoy, prang di na naman nagisip sa mga pinagsasabi, magtrabaho nlng wag na magdahilan.

    nice post again idol PH. 🙂 keep it up.

    http://rojan88.wordpress.com

    Like

    1. Pero nasaan ang idol ko, si Manay Pangilinan? Ibig bang sabihin ng Forbes List na ito, hindi siya bilyonaryo? Akala ko siya ang may-ari malalaking companyang Smart, PLDT, 51% ng Digitel, TV5, Meralco, North Luzon expressway, Maynilad Water atbp, at tagapondo ng Smart Gilas, Ateneo basketball team, etc. Yon pala, press release lang, at ang tunay na may-ari ng perang kanyang ginagasta ay…

      Like

  3. SA SUSUNOD, PAG IBINALITA MP YUNG GRAFT NI GENUINO, IBALITA MO RIN YUNG PAG IIBIGAN NG ANAK NI VILLAR AT NI GENUINO. CAMILLE AT ERWIN.
    ANO KAYA PINAG UUSAPAN NILANG DALAWA? YUNG MGA KASO NG TATAY NILA? MALAMANG KINOCOMFORT NI CAMILLE YUNG GENUINO NGAYON. PARANG PAPUNTA KA PA LANG PABALIK NA KAMI HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Like

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