MEMOIRS, ATBP.

SENATOR PANFILO LACSON plans to write a book when he steps down from office in 2013. Perfect for those who want to kill time!

Sen. Ping Lacson is planning to write a book about his “colorful career” as a cop. But retelling those exploits won’t be easy. It’s torturous.

Reports say Senator Panfilo Lacson is planning to write a book. In it, he said, “sasabihin ko kung saan ako nagtago.” Is he writing a memoir, or coming out with an atlas?

Senator Panfilo Lacson says his book will “set the record straight.” He’s not.

Top 5 Rejected Titles for Senator Panfilo Lacson’s Book

No. 5: Around the World in 365 Days

No. 4: Ang Pumatay ng Dahil Sa ‘Yo

No. 3: The Strange Case of Dr. JeKill and Mr. Hide

No. 2: Bala at Lipstick

And the No. 1 rejected title for Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s book…

Memoirs of A Gay Sha

More Pork
Sen. Panfilo Lacson confirms senators and congressmen will receive additional pork barrel funds from the road users’ tax. Tuwid na daan, anyone?

GMA Sued, Hospitalized
A Protestant group has filed a P5.4-million civil suit against former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for the alleged killing and abduction of its members. The former president has yet to react on the suit although her cervical spine just did.

Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was hospitalized due to severe pain in the neck area. The former president was diagnosed with cervical spondylotic radiculopathy C3-C6 secondary to degenerated discs and osteophytes with severe neural narrowing at C3 C4 C5 C6 left. In layman’s term, karma.

Bad Cops
PNP chief Director General Raul Bacalzo says 133 cops have been sacked for various offenses in the past six months. That’s 133 down; 2000 to go!

La Salle’s Centennial
De La Salle University celebrated its centennial Thursday. La Salle is now 100 years old. If DLSU were a politician, he would qualify for the post of Senate president.

La Salle is now 100 years old. Or as Sen. Loren Legarda would say, “promising.”

De La Salle Univeristy is now 100 years old. I bet it has a rich history.

Postscript to A Scandal
New York Rep. Anthony Weiner has stepped down. That was the hardest decision he’s ever made.

New York Rep. Anthony Weiner has just lost his seat in Congress. He’ll probably lose his wife too.

Cong. Anthony Weiner has just resigned. And Virginia Torres was like, “Don’t look at me!”

Second SONA
Preparations are reportedly underway for President Aquino’s second State of the Nation Address otherwise known as ‘Believe It Or Not.’

Spratlys Dispute
This just in: Amid tensions, China has sent one of its largest maritime patrol ships into the South China Sea. Unfazed, the Philippines is sending Albay Governor Joey Salceda. Bongga!
————————————————————————-
“Anyone who believes you can’t change history has never tried to write his memoirs.”
~David Ben-Gurion

From My Inbox
Is she really sick or not? You be the judge.

You Have Spoken
Have you dated someone na una mong nakilala sa social networking sites like Facebook, Friendster or Twitter?
– OO naman. Wala namang masamang makipagkaibigan, right? 16.23%
WALA! Hindi ako gano’n ka-adventurous. 78.57%
– Secret. Walang clue. 5.19%

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Have a great weekend!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

55 thoughts on “MEMOIRS, ATBP.”

  1. very commendable ang hindi pagkuha ni lacson ng kanyang

    pork barrel for 10 years, aba, malaking halaga na rin yun, kaya,

    kung hindi pa sya na involved sa dacer-cor case, pwede ko ng

    pambato sa susunod na presidential election, bihira lang yata

    ang who will not succumb to the pork barrel especially so na

    legal money naman ito

    Like

  2. “The former president was diagnosed with cervical spondylotic radiculopathy C3-C6 secondary to degenerated discs and osteophytes with severe neural narrowing at C3 C4 C5 C6 left. In layman’s term, karma.”
    -> you really rock, idol PH! Si Dr. Juliet Cervantes uli ang doktor nila. I remember how she gave regular updates about Mike Arroyo’s health nung nagkarron sya ng aneurysm back in 2007.

    Like

  3. Sona
    P-noy’s draft notes

    What a year. What a laugh.

    New sports car, a ride in a rolls-royce and my own helicopter.

    Dates galore. Power not only corrupts but attracts the women, and all reporters are young and beautiful – especially in singapore. A few dogs in malacanang sheep corps but working on that.

    Personal wealth increased dramatically. And the cojuangco-aquino monopoly is now unstoppable. Sugar sweet. Hacienda luisita, baby.

    Hot dogs in new york, burgers in brunei, lifelong discount at jollibee. Yum yum

    Playing soldier and shooting guns. I love letting off my 12 bore (boasting again) with torres and puno. Virginia even cleans it for me afterwards. No chance in sacking her.

    Personal stylist and dresser – more to the left – ooh aah. Hehe. No dominic strauss-kahn problems here.

    Public videoke performances. Am quite the gooner – oops i mean crooner. Freudian slip.

    And smoking to my hearts content. No smoking ban for mr marlboro.

    And i sacked a weatherman. Am so macho. Hehe

    And noone asked me if i was gay. The skeleton and me stay in the closet. And my dear ping is back from his holiday.

    The porkers in the senate proved easy to buy off. They will do anything for more pork.

    Life doesnt get any better.
    Hope you have had a good year. See you in 12 months.

    Must go. Josh and i have a date with playstation.

    Only 5 more years until retirement.
    My advice to my people – make sure you have a good retirement plan and payoff

    Or become an army general.

    Like

      1. you are soooooooo right etchos. he’s soooooooooo full of manly sex appeal that i forgot my motto, “no one above 31”.

        btw, i believe that he did nothing wrong. i mean minus the initial lying about it. nasa legal age naman lahat ng pinadalhan niya ng pics, anong masama doon? at wala naman ‘atang nag-complain…kung meron man, si mai mislang yun dahil hindi siya na kasama sa distribution list. (mais ba?) 🙂

        Like

  4. “The former president was diagnosed with cervical spondylotic radiculopathy C3-C6 secondary to degenerated discs and osteophytes with severe neural narrowing at C3 C4 C5 C6 left. In layman’s term, karma.”

    Mr. PH, following this line, what do you think was the greatest sin that Cory committed to deserve her karma? Cancer ang tumama sa kanya eh!

    Like

  5. Pingback: LINTANG

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