CONGRATULATIONS to the Dallas Mavericks – the 2010-2011 NBA world champions. Did you see the live telecast of the game Monday morning? When the final buzzer sounded, the Mavericks erupted in wild jubilation. One awkward moment though, during the celebration – Chavit Singson appeared, and joined Team Dallas inside the court.

Congratulations also to Dirk Nowitzki, the Finals MVP. During the post-game party, Paris Hilton showed up, introduced herself to Dirk, exchanged cellphone numbers with his wife, Jinkee Nowitzki and promised to visit Germany in three months.

The Weiner Saga
Reports say New York Rep. Anthony Weiner is seriously considering resignation. In case he decides to quit, a possible replacement would be his younger brother, Ryan Singson Weiner.

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney says President Obama finds Cong. Anthony Weiner “a distraction.” Of course, Obama would have been more supportive of Weiner if they were shooting buddies.

Military Training
From June 28 to July 8, Philippine Navy vessels and US marine warships will participate in naval training exercises in the waters east of Palawan. It’s a joint undertaking between a country that China enjoys to bully, and the Philippines.

Not Again!
Jerzon Senador, a teenager from Calamba, Laguna has drawn the ire of animal lovers and animal rights activists after hanging his pet dog on a clothesline using clippers, and posting a photo of the wet puppy on Facebook. Senador has since apologized. His parents has dismissed rumors their son was an incoming physics major in UP Diliman.

Actor Stabbed
Actor-director Ricky Rivero was stabbed by a 22-year-old guy he invited to his apartment unit Sunday night. Rivero reportedly met the former NCAA volleyball varsity on Facebook five months ago. Immediately after the stabbing incident, Rivero changed his Facebook status from “In A Relationship” to “It’s Complicated.”

Makabagong Kasabihan
Modern sayings & proverbs inspired by some famous people in politics and government

Land Transportation Chief Virginia Torres
Magpakahaba-haba man ang suspensyon
Sa LTO pa rin ang tuloy.

Cong. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Ang taong nagigipit
Nominado ang iniipit

Former Batangas Governor Tony Leviste
Habang bayad ang mga pusa
Naglalaro ang daga.

Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines
Nasa Diyos ang awa
Nasa obispo ang ngawa
Mahihirap ang kawawa.

Incoming DOTC Sec. Mar Roxas
Naghangad ng kagitna
Palasyo ang nawala.

Resigned DOTC Sec. Jose ‘Ping’ De Jesus
If you can’t stand the heat,
quit the Cabinet.

Atty. Edwin Lacierda
Ang pumatol sa sira-ulo…

Albay Gov. Joey Salceda
If you can’t beat them,
boycott them!

Albay Gov. Joey Salceda
Matalino man ang matsing,
(Basta! Matalino siya.)
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
~C.S. Lewis

“Meron! ‘Yong dalawang anak ko.”
~Sen. Chiz Escudero to dzMM anchors Alvin Elchico and Lynda Jumilla when asked, “May nagpapatibok ba sa puso mo ngayon?” [SRO/ June 14, 2011]

You Have Spoken
Sang-ayon ba kayo sa panawagan ni Albay Gov. Joey Salceda na iboycott ang mga produktong gawa sa China?
– Oo! Hindi tayo dapat pa-bully sa mga Intsik na ‘yan! 52%
– Diplomasya, hindi boycott ang sagot sa problema natin with China. 46.67%
– Anong isyu ba? 1.33%

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Stay safe and happy!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

8 thoughts on “WEINERS, LOSERS”

  1. 2011 nba finals proved that:
    1. lebron james is indeed a hype
    2. the more tattooed you are, the pussier you are

    lesson actor-director ricky rivero should learn from the incident
    “most athletes are ain’t smart. you should explain to them what kind of stabbin’ you want from them”

    my response to albay gov. joey salceda call for boycott of all chinese products:
    hijo de puta kag tunga ka! you should have said that before the 2010 presidential election.


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