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THE END

23 05 2011


TODAY IS MONDAY, May 23, 2011, the second day of a new world. Congratulations! You survived the rapture last Saturday.

Here’s the end of the world news as “would have been” reported by journalists, news organizations, and some government offices in the Philippines:

ABS-CBN: “Exclusive! Ang paghahanda ng Panginoon sa pagwasak niya sa daigdig!” “

GMA 7: “Kumpirmado! Si Lord walang puprotektahan! Gunaw na totoo lang… nakaamba!”

TV5: “MVP buys into new planet; Metro Pacific now owns 70 percent of Mars”

NBN 4: “And the final number is… 42. Number 42. Kung anim na digits ang nakuha n’yo, you have won the last Mega Lotto jackpot!”

Philippine Daily Inquirer: “It’s all over: Filipinos flee”

Philippine Star: “Truth shall prevail: world about to end!”

Manila Bulletin: “God vows to create a new world”

Manila Standard Today: “Noynoy fails to stop rapture”

Business World: “Philippine stocks rally on last trading day”

Abante/Abante Tonite: “PNoy sinisi si GMA sa napipintong gunaw”

Kerygma: “God STILL loves you”

FHM: “101 Most Beautiful Women on Earth: The Last Temptation of Christ”

Philippine Entertainment Portal (PEP.Ph): “First read on PEP: Ang bonggang paghahanda ng mga artista sa nalalapit na katapusan ng daigdig”

DZRH: “Gunaw: Kauna-unahan sa Pilipinas!”

DZBB: “Super Gunaw!”

NDRRMC: “Bilyun-bilyong halaga ng pananim at impastraktura, inaaasahang mapipinsala”

PAGASA: “Gunaw posibleng magbago ng target”

Noli De Castro: “Hanggang dito na lamang… bayan!”

Mel Tiangco: “Nakow! Tuloy na raw ang gunaw! Pambihira ano po!?”

Tulfo Brothers: “’Tang-i*a! Gunaw na mga kapatid!”

Alvin Elchico: “Isang araw bago ang gunaw: Mga higanteng kompanya ng langis, magpapatupad ng uno singkwentang rollback sa presyo ng gasolina”

Lhar Santiago: “Updated sa Rapture happenings!”

Malacañang: “President Aquino orders Vice President Binay to oversee search and retrieval operations”

Office of the Vice President: “Binay to personally rescue rapture survivors in New Zealand, Kiribati, and Australia”

Ateneo De Manila Community: “One big fright!”

CBCP News: “Mga bakla, imoral, at katig sa RH Bill, unang lilipulin”

Solar Sports: “Game Over!”
—————————————————————————————–
“The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
~Richard Bach

Modernong Talasalitaan
Makabagong kahulugan ng mga salita, parirala o pangungusap batay sa mga kaganapan sa ating kapaligiran. Ang kahulugan ay maaaring madagdagan, mabawasan, o mabago depende sa mga susunod na pangyayari.

> Living out inmate
– VIP o Very Important Prisoner
– Mapeperang bilanggo na malayang nakakapamasyal sa Makati, Binondo, Tagaytay and wherever na hindi sinisita ng mga opisyal ng kulungan

> Contraception
– A portmanteau of ‘contradict’ and ‘deception.’ Dahil kontra sila, idinadaan sa deception.
Halimbawa ng sitwasyong ginagamitan ng ‘contraception:
Parishioner: Bishop, masama po ba ang paggamit ng condom?
Obispo: Tama ka d’yan iho! Dahil kapag pinigilan mo ang pagtatagpo ng sihay-punlay ng lalaki at ng itlog ng babae, nilalabag mo ang kautusan ng Diyos na humayo kayo at magpakarami. At dahil hindi mo sinunod ang utos ng Panginoon, tiyak na mapupunta ka sa impiyerno at magdurusa ang iyong kaluluwa sa dagat-dagatang apoy forever and ever. Walang amen!

Have a safe and fun week ahead!

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On Twitter, i am known as @HecklerForever .

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27 responses

23 05 2011
Sheenah

At the back of my head I can hear those reporters’ voices hahaha. Astig na post!

Like

23 05 2011
Pongster

Manny Pacquiao: No more world to go to, to multiply

Like

23 05 2011
burog

excuse me po… ayan na po mga kapuso, nakikita nyo sa screen, unti unti nang nagugunaw ang mundo…..

Like

23 05 2011
mike enriquez

ikaw ha… hehehe

Like

23 05 2011
mel tiangco

nakow! hindi ito napaghandaan ng kapuso foundation, mike!

Like

23 05 2011
topdog

hehehe………

Like

23 05 2011
El kapitan

Baka fire drill pa lang ito. Next year pa daw yung EFTW

Like

23 05 2011
amateur heckler

would have been responses:
anon: PNoy’s ineptitude has caused this world to end! He cares about nothing but dating, guns, psp and cars. blah blah blah blah blah….
etchosera: end of the world? who cares?
senior60: goodbye paul, timpaul, etchosera, anon (cge na nga) and all friends here at TPH’s blog. Pastilan, it would have been good to have met you personally before the end of the world. see you nalang in the new world! ayo ayo mo bai!
amateur heckler: would have been responses of friends at TPH….

Like

23 05 2011
Centrino

The Professional Heckler: Lakers Forever.
hehehe.

Like

24 05 2011
senior60

hahaha bisaya sad diay ka amateur heckler…

pero seriously, hindi dapat pinapansin ang ganyang
klaseng mga balita, no bearing…

Like

24 05 2011
etchosera

en op da worl na nga, ga-bet ka pa rin?

Sugarol! At bakit si Senior ang imo na gina-bet?

Si Senior! Si!

Like

24 05 2011
timpaul

To senior 60, asa man ka dapit in the next life? basin di ta pareha padulngan. hahaha! Nice one amateur heckler.

Like

24 05 2011
amateur heckler

i bet senior60 will still be spending his time at the terraces enjoying the gorgeous view (or should i say attractive nuisance?) of the passers-by.

Like

25 05 2011
senior60

kung ako lay magbuot timpaul, gusto gyud ko didto sa walay kalayo hahaha kuyog na lang nako, magkita ta sa dakong krus aron dili ta masaag

Like

25 05 2011
senior60

end of the world na nga daw sabi ni etchosera, wala na spend time at the terraces, sibat na…

Like

23 05 2011
anon

the first week of the new world, and the beginning of the mar roxas ‘presidency’

let us hope that he can make progress,effect change, and implement campaign promises.

his enemies are not the people but much closer to home.

for the sake of the country, i wish him well.

Like

24 05 2011
promdi

refresher!

Like

24 05 2011
senior60

uuuyyy this is a refreshing post, anon wishing someone well,

maybe her way of saying thank you that the world did not end

as predicted…

Like

24 05 2011
anon

i always give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove me right!

Like

24 05 2011
Paul

Thec CBCP News write-up on Pacquio’s RH debate performance clearly demonstrates how the Catholic Church can turn event like this into a shameless propaganda. Similar to its pronouncements when its supported Mussolini in Fascist Italy or Franco in the Spanish Civil War which killed 500,000 people or on its position to just stand and watch as Hitler gaschambered thousands of Jews.

Like

24 05 2011
hikatalomato

not just thousands of jew, but millions of jews including woman and children.

and the catholic church even gave refuge and helped those nazi murderers to escape after they were defeated by the allied.

Like

25 05 2011
Paul

The Catholic Church actually did worse in the Philippines. It killed thousands of Filipinos by starvation as a result of reducciones and forced labor used in building those stone churches and convents from the 16th to the 18the century It also land grabbed the lands of our ancestors or got these through deceit, intimidation and coercion. These were never returned or compensated and made the Church the biggest land owner and richest institution in the Philippines other than the government The current bishops are actually enjoying stolen wealth, a criminal act under Philippine laws. But not even an apology from them

Like

24 05 2011
Paul

Did Bishop Bacani really appear on TV to oppose to RH? Why is CBCP letting loose this sexual predator? Does Bacani still know the meaning of shame or has he undergone psychiatric treatment so that women would be safe in his presence?

Like

24 05 2011
Wilma Santos

Joint Senate-Congress committee to investigate causes of rapture in aid of legislating/enating laws to prevent them from ever happening again! Will subpoena God to attend under threat of being cited in contempt.
(‘magpapahuli ba mga yan?’)

Like

24 05 2011
mike

huh?!?! ibig sabihin ba nito ay hindi ko pa matatakasan ang mga utang ko?

Like

24 05 2011
eufems

700ClubAsia: [blank. kinuha na ni Lord ang mga Kristiyano sa Rapture, right?]

Like

26 05 2011
dogibels

PH, nagkatotoo po yata ang prediction ng PAGASA ha, ang GUNAW nag-iba nga ng target…..date! na-move daw eh, October 21 na pala?!?!

Like

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