CATS, PRAISES


Pacman Returns
Manny Pacquiao is back in the Philippines after last week’s big event in Las Vegas – his encounter with Paris Hilton.

Reports say the Pacquiao-Mosley event lured the second biggest crowd (16,412) among Pacquiao’s bouts in Las Vegas. It also set a Guinness World Record for ‘most watched sparring session.’

Congressman Manny Pacquiao and his wife attended a thanksgiving Mass in Manila Saturday morning. As expected, security was tight at the Quiapo Church. The only thing tighter was Jinkee’s face.

Manny Pacquiao has denied using steroids while training for his fight. For God’s sake, he couldn’t even use his wife!

Cat Killer
A UP student who killed a cat in 2009 was found guilty of animal cruelty. The judge rejected his defense that he was a battered rat in his past life.


UP physics major Joseph Carlo Candare was found guilty of animal cruelty and was slapped with a 2,000-peso fine. Likewise, the judge barred him from eating siopao for the rest of his life.

After being found guilty of animal cruelty, Joseph Carlo Candare is now serving his sentence – two months of volunteer work for the Philippine Animal Welfare Society or PAWS where he’s tasked to take care of some 200 cats. Sa mga pusa d’yan sa PAWS… ingat!

Confirmed
President Aquino confirmed Friday that his defeated runningmate, former senator Mar Roxas would be his chief of staff. The President clarified though that Korina Sanchez would still be Mar’s ‘commander-in-chief.’

Osama’s Stash
The US Navy SEALs reportedly found a diary in Osama bin Laden’s compound. It revealed, among other things that his real parents were Alvira and Amante Del Valle.

Confiscated photos of Osama bin Laden’s medicine cabinet revealed he took herbal Viagra. Another confiscated photo showed three happy-looking camels.

Pornographic videos were also discovered in the al-Qaeda leader’s compound. One of the titles found was “Osama bin Hayden.”

De Lima Declines
Justice Secretary Leila De Lima is not interested in replacing Merceditas Gutierrez as Ombudsman. And that’s understandable. It’s like replacing Osama bin Laden in al-Qaeda.

Dangerous
According to Forbes.com, the world’s most dangerous places are Afghanistan and Iraq. In third place is Commonwealth Avenue in Quezon City.

Big Rollback
Oil companies have just implemented a bigger oil price rollback… surprising motorists, and fueling speculations that the reported Judgment Day on May 21 is true.

Modernong Talasalitaan
Makabagong kahulugan ng mga salita, parirala o pangungusap batay sa mga kaganapan sa ating kapaligiran. Ang kahulugan ay maaaring madagdagan, mabawasan, o mabago depende sa mga susunod na pangyayari.

>>Civil disobedience: Weapon of mass distraction. Isang paraan upang ilayo ang diskusyon sa merito ng isyu | See ‘blackmail.’

>>Chief of Staff: See ‘Prime Minister.’

In China…
Shanghai City is setting a limit of one-dog per family. In protest of the policy, Chinese dog lovers have threatened to lead a civil disobedience campaign.
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“It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.”
~Chinese Proverb

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Author: professionalheckler

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49 thoughts on “CATS, PRAISES”

  1. ‘the only thing tighter….’

    Ouch, miawow, so much botox hurts as much as barbed comments.
    At least it ensures that you smile when asked about your husbands infidelity and the new young blonde he has recruited to sell him worlwide.
    At least he is turning up to congress for 1 day – for his party – before he goes back to los angeles with his children for a holiday!!! And discussions with his new pr girl!!
    He makes even more of a joke of philippine politics. which means he is a shoe in for senator next time around especially seeing chavit ‘thug’ singson sticking closer than a leech sucking blood.
    gambling, drugs and boxing ( women) there is no better mentor

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  2. I cannot wait to see the form of civil disobedience that the bishops, priests and nuns will take if the RH Bill will pass. Definitely not a tax boycott because they are not paying any and have been free-loading on the Filipinose. And will they be checking every bedroom, motel room and bush to ensure that no Catholic is using condom?

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    1. i cannot wait to see if ever, how will this bill be implemented,
      questions like, who will be the recipients of those paraphernalia,
      all citizens rich and poor? from age what? 12 years or even
      lower if they already had their first menstruation and capable
      of getting pregnant?

      and how will lagman, baraquel et al be sure that those who have
      availed will be able to use them religiously to avoid pregnancy?
      any sanctions if ever?

      as for me, this is a waste of 3 billions, billions that can be used
      instead in building health centers and schools in the remotest
      places…

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      1. Please see how it is being done in other countries (through Google)– from Azerbaijan to Zambia or even in Singapore or US –since only the Philippines and the Vatican do not provide universal access to RH services. Of course the Vatican should have it too considering the penchant of many bishops and priests for young boys who may Aids from them.

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      2. like your vantage point, senior… it is all the argument vs that s… bill, nothing less; nothing more… all the high profile, “woman’s rights” rationales are mere fronts to the hidden agenda which is funding; funds, cash, so these insatiable lawmakers of ours will have another oil well from which to squander; nay, perpetuate plunder.

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  3. Becoming PNoy’s Chief of Staff is the surest way for Mar not become a President (if he had any chance at all).

    If his goal is to become President, he should just have done a Sarah Palin and gone all over the Philippines.

    It only makes sense to get back in government if his goals are either to recover what he spent the last campaign OR he wants to get back at VP Binay. Either way, it won’t get him the Presidency.

    On a lighter note: can you spell rebound? PIA GUANIO.

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  4. Oops, first time I heard a UP stude/grad owning up to doing something stupid. Bakit naman kaya yung isang UP grad, feeling pa-hero pa rin hanggang ngayon. Matapos magdeklara ng Martial Law at maging responsable sa kamatayan ng marami, pilit pa rin nagpapagi sa mata ng sambayanang Pilipino. Pag tumayo kaya yun at umamin, me maglalakas loob pa bang magmartsa sa EDSA?

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  5. Congressman Manny Pacquiao and his wife attended a thanksgiving Mass in Manila Saturday morning. As expected, security was tight at the Quiapo Church. The only thing tighter was Jinkee’s face.

    – minsan nga mas kinakabahan pa ako para ke Jinkee kesa ke Manny pag me boxing si Manny. Pano kung magbrown-out? Di kaya malusaw sa init yun?

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  6. Hala Mr Ph, napag-diskitahan mo na naman si Jinkee! I love it!!!
    Sana si Mommy D naman sa susunod. Umay na umay (actually sukang suka) ako this weekend sa round-the-clock updates sa kanyang birthday party. Nagpa-facial daw, Argentine tango ang special number, naka-4 na palit ng damit, binigyan ng Hermes Birkin ni Jinkee, etc., etc. What’s next – that she hasn’t had menopause yet and expects to conceive another Pacman? LOL

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  7. Pacman the poster boy for the ‘ no to rh bill’ community.
    He is absolutely entitled to his opinion but curious how this sits with his fight against poverty with the population predictions for philippines showing as one of the highest in the world and extreme poverty will not be far behind.

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      1. You asked how his stand on RH bill stands with his fight against poverty. The simple reason is his fervent Catholic faith.

        AND I am not going to take any moral high ground and judge him for his extra curricular activities. If you think you are more moral and decent than he is, fire away!

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      1. anon for some reason i don’t find posts like this amusing, lighthearted, or humorous like PH’s. Somehow i find it spiteful and elitist, a with good dose of a “holier than thou” attitude even. But then, that’s my opinion. You’re entitled to yours, so fire away!

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  8. “Confiscated photos of Osama bin Laden’s medicine cabinet revealed he took herbal Viagra. Another confiscated photo showed three happy-looking camels.”

    …Swak na swak. Cguro bato lng ang hindi matatawa sa linyang ito ni Prof. PH. Bwaahahaha!!! E patuwarin lng nman kasi si OBL at lagyan ng bola sa likod mukha na rin siyang camel. E natural scent pa nman ung amoy bulugang baboy sila. hehehe.

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  9. the news that mar would be the chief of staff of noynoy was confirmed even before mar lost in the elections ^_^ let’s give it a try, maybe he can change the aquino administration for the better… but don’t expect that much because since the election, he is running the show from the shadows…

    i feel sorry for the cat, is there a link between animal cruelty and sociopathic tendencies?

    thanks sir ph for the picture of the dog, at least china did something to prevent the proliferation of stray dogs due to irresponsible owners…

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  10. mr ph. i know taga-media ka. sana me makapansin na media follower mo dito at i-cover ang status ng PagIBIG branch dyan sa buendia. kasi nagsara yung sa atrium building nila, parang sardinas na pag nag-transact ka dun. magkakasakit ka sa halo-halo na ang tao dun.

    sana mapansin to.

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  11. @phreddox
    my main point is that he is selling the subject of rh like one of his tacky product endorsements.
    he is the supposed politician and should show more gravitas and a complete understanding of all the issues particularly because his voice carries more weight than it actually warrants. and that is the secondary issue. if popularity and personality decide strategic issues – which it currently does – rather than debate and discussion then the country will reap what it sows

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    1. Thats the tragedy if people rely on celebrities for their opinion instead of doing due diligence and forming an informed one. Fortunately, nobody seems to be buying Pacquio’s opinion on RH except the bishops apparently desperate enough to cling to guy so clueless on the issue. In fact he is appearing every inch a pathetic clown with her mother as the pathetic sidekick.

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    2. Hi anon, your issue with Manny Pacquiao seems to be because he has the stature and the clout to swing public opinion, he should refrain from speaking or “show more gravitas”? That I find hard to accept. Granted that “popularity and personality decide strategic issues” (also elections) in our country, it does not take away from his right to make his stand on certain issues he believes in and with it, sway people to his side (stature or no stature). It’s all part of the battle. To continue with the battle analogy, do you refrain from using your tank because the other side only has .22 caliber pistols?
      Don’t take me wrong. I believe something needs to be done about our country’s population issues and the RH bill can be a way of mitigating it. Confronted with the Pacquiao endorsement, the proponents of the RH bill should simply find other ways to neutralize this and get their message across.

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      1. Unfortunately he was shooting himself and his comrades with that 22 pistol instead of downing the enemy. Not necessarily a good battle plan. Since he has the money then maybe he should use this to fund the campaign (if the bishops and priests will not pilfer it) or use it to upgrade his weaponry

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