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REFLECTIONS

21 04 2011

NAGSIMULA NA ANG bakasyon ng mga bituin pero dahil mainit pa rin ang mga usapin, narito ang kanilang bonus na mga pangitain – Holy Week Edition!

Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez
Magpapako ka sa krus. Habang nakapako, magpa-press con at ihayag sa media: “Hinding-hindi ako bababa sa puwesto.” Maraming matutuwa sa ‘yo!

Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz
Dahil sinimulan mo na rin lang noong Lunes Santo, panindigan mo na ang pagiging “marriage counselor” mo. ‘Yan na lang kasi ang titindig sa ‘yo.

Pangulong Aquino
Kung binabantaan ka nila ng excommunication, bantaan mo sila ng taxcommunication. ‘Wag pasindak. Takutan lang ‘yan.

Vice President Jejomar Binay
Hindi mo na kailangang mag-Visita Iglesia. Proven na naman ‘di ba?. Nanalo ka pa rin kahit si Mar ang inendorso nila.

Ex-Senator Mar Roxas
Samantalahin ang nalalabing araw ng bakasyon. Less than a month na lang, puwede ka nang magtrabaho sa palasyo. Pag-isipan ang mga iniaalok na puwesto… ngunit tanggihan ang offer na maging First Lady ng Pangulo. It’s just awkward pare!

Cong. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Ito ang tamang panahon upang mag-isip, magmuni-muni, at magtanong: hanggang kailan ko susuportahan si Merci Gutierrez? Paano ko maibabalik ang tiwala ng tao? Dapat ko bang ishare ang aking beauty secrets? Bahala ka na.

Sen. Panfilo Lacson
Samantalahin ang Senate recess. Aralin ang pagluluto ng ibang putahe. Nakakaumay na ang adobo mo kasi. Tse!

Marlene Aguilar a.k.a. Jason Ivler’s mother
Hindi kayang basahin ng mga bituin ang iyong kapalaran. May sarili ka kasing mundong ginagalawan. Heto na lang ang sampung piso, bili ka ng kausap mo!

Willie Revillame
Ilang araw na lang at matatapos na ang iyong bakasyon from television. Why not extend it? Say, for… ever?

And finally…
Cong. Mikey Arroyo
Matutuloy ang plano mong pagpapapako sa krus sa Pampanga. Pero huwag umasang mapapagitna ka. Either sa kanan o sa kaliwa ka ng bida. Alam mo na!

In the News:
According to Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz, it would be better for President Noynoy Aquino to remain single. Just in case you missed it, Cruz is the self-appointed presidential adviser on heart concerns.

Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz says people who get hitched at age 40 or above usually end up having unstable marriages. In totally unrelated news, Mar and Korina have canceled their plan to hear mass today.

TV Patrol Poll
A TV Patrol survey last Tuesday revealed that 62 percent of viewers wanted President Aquino to marry. The rest were bishops.

Christmas/Easter
According to a Social Weather Stations survey, 57 of Filipinos consider Christmas more important than Easter Sunday. The rest grew up without a ninong/ninang. #bitter

The Last Supper
A Cambridge University research suggests the Last Supper, traditionally marked by Christians on Maundy Thursday actually took place on a Wednesday. Another research reveals Good Friday was actually bad.

Based on the research conducted at Cambridge University, Jesus’ arrest, interrogation, and separate trials did not all take place on one night only. He was able to get a TRO for 24 hours day.

A new research reveals that the Last Supper actually took place on a Wednesday not on Maundy Thursday. You know what that means? Starting next year, Wednesday will be a holiday! Yehey!
——————————————————-
“There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.”
~George Bernard Shaw

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18 responses

21 04 2011
anon

gay marriage not allowed – so academic

Like

21 04 2011
anon

cruz should have advised ‘big ears’ escudero.
no good advertising any product which pays you money when your marriage and political career are falling apart. get your priorities right.

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21 04 2011
anon

Reflections – chiz escudero

Never have an affair with kris aquino.

Never promote tacky products for money.

Be a serious politician not a big head who trips up on his own ears.

Any chance of presidency has gone.

Dont have a stupid name. It aint cool. especially when it is guevara – communist icon.

bye bye. you blew it.

Like

21 04 2011
BOK

haha. Ang dami kong tawa dito! Pero makes sense lahat. Aprub!

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21 04 2011
mangberto

sakit ng tyan ko katatawa. hahaha.. ito pinakapanalo sa lahat:

Marlene Aguilar a.k.a. Jason Ivler’s mother
Hindi kayang basahin ng mga bituin ang iyong kapalaran. May sarili ka kasing mundong ginagalawan. Heto na lang ang sampung piso, bili ka ng kausap mo!

hahaha..

Like

21 04 2011
REFLECTIONS « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] this link: REFLECTIONS « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Merceditas Gutierrez and tagged ako-bababa, emeritus, emeritus-oscar, […]

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22 04 2011
GDA

Check this out PH. Sa FB page to, dedicated kay Mickey yung kantang nirecord today sa Abbey Road (the taxman). LOL
http://www.facebook.com/thebeatles

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22 04 2011
shirley

Happy Easter Mr. PH!

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22 04 2011
kalokah

pang-holy week edition tlaga!

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22 04 2011
esa

Not necessarily walang pasok on Holy Wednesday next year if ever. Baka pag nalaman ni P-Noy that in Singapore or even Canada ay holiday starts on Good Friday (namatay si Jesus) up to Easter Sunday, chances are gayahin ni P-Noy. Black Saturday nga this year, tagal pinag-isipan kung idedeclare na special public holiday (big business kaya trying to influence him para sa wage aspects na mabebenefit silang big business?). Hay, si P-Noy, making himself look like an idiot with the way he acts on matters of state that are not even unique in occurrence…like Black Saturday being a special public holiday since he was of school age siguro.

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23 04 2011
senior60

gusto lang ni noynoy maiba sa lahat ng bagay

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22 04 2011
eisa

Ni-google ko daw yung taxcommunication…ngyarharharhar

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23 04 2011
senior60

maghintayhintay ka pa ng kaunting panahon at lalanding

din yan doon, kakacoin lang kasi ni mister heckler

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23 04 2011
Anonymous

Thanks for that dig at Merci. Needed the laugh, especially as I am preparing for her impeachment trial. She really screwed up the office of the ombudsman. Hope she resigns soon so I can go on a vacation.

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23 04 2011
nong

ayos..whew..happy easter

Like

23 04 2011
dan

i2 nmang si father cruz masyado ma-showbiz. d n lng mag-concentrate sa pagmi-misa.

masyado matalak. wl nmang sense ung mga pinagsasasabi.

Like

24 04 2011
diane

couples who married on their forties will have an unstable relationships?!?
my friend got married in church when she was only 25yo, wala pang 3 months, nangaliwa na ang guy, with a married woman with 2 kids!

so, may age limit na din ang pagpapakasal?! akala ko ba, age doesn’t matter when it comes to love? si archbishop talaga oh, may mai-comment lang sa lahat ng issue! tsssssss

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25 04 2011
Anonymous

Huwag na makialam about marriage si Archbishop Cruz. Wala siyang “K” to say even a single word becoz he did not experience and will never experience the life of being married. walang pinipiling edad ke bata o matanda na nag-asawa depende yun on how you take care of your relationship.

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