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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERAP!

19 04 2011


Top 10 Text Messages Received by Former President Joseph Estrada on His 74th Birthday

No. 10: “Pare, ‘musta? ‘Tagal na nating ‘di nagkikita ah. Painom ka naman! Walang beer dito eh! Please reply. FPJ”

No. 9: “Take care Daddy! The kids and I are so proud of you. And I’m thankful na ikaw ang ama ng aking mga anak. Aminin mo, sila lang ang mukhang artistahin among your children. Siyempre naman, mana yata sa ina. Joooke! Love you Dad. See you later.  Mmmwah, Laarni”

No. 8: “Ang kapal ng mukha n’ya! Burahin mo ang previous message! Burahin mo ‘yan kung ayaw mong mag-away na naman tayo! Hanggang ngayon ba naman nakikipagkita ka pa rin sa babaeng ‘yan? ‘Wag mo ‘kong galitin. –- Mad na, Doctora Loi”

No. 7: “Ayyy! Bakit may insecure na nag-txt? Bitterness? Hay naku Papa, mabuti na lang naka-move on na ako. Hindi katulad ni texter No. 8. Ang mahalaga, we’re friends at ang unico ijo natin ang paborito mong anak na lalaki. On behalf of JV, stay healthy Joseph. Thanks for everything. Happy birthday! –- Gumigiya pa rin after all these years, Guia.”

No. 6: “Mahal na Pangulo, binabati kita sa iyong kaarawan. Maraming salamat sa suporta mo. Five years na lang, akin na ang palasyo. Bahagi ka ng nakatakdang tagumpay na ‘to. Sure na! –- Kitakits sa 2016, Jojo Binay”

No. 5: “(Forwarded message) Hi babe. Pupuntahan kita sa condo mamaya. Maligo ka huh. At ‘yong Viagra, paki-ready. Hinihintay ko lang na makaalis ng bahay ‘tong matanda kong asawa para makatakas ako. I love you Cheesecake! –> AH GANUN!? MATANDA PALA HUH! NA-WRONG SEND KA G*GO! SINO SI CHEESECAKE? SINOOO!?!! TXT BACK!” –- Doctora Loi”

No. 4: “Mr. President, puwede ba akong dumaan sa inyo mamaya? Ipinagluto kasi kita ng chicken-pork adobo, embotido, afritada at Pinoy spaghetti. At dahil Holy Week naman ngayon, baka puwedeng kalimutan na natin ang nakaraan. Sa totoo lang, na-miss ko kayo. Txt me na lang kung wala d’yan si Jinggoy para walang problema. –- Ping”

No. 3.1: “’Buti ka pa 74 na; samantalang ako, inabot lang ng 67. ‘Tapos lately, minamalas pa yata sa gobyernong ‘to. Ingat na lang p’re. See you soon! –- Naghihintay ng hustisya, Bubby Dacer”

No. 3: “last txt ko na 2 ser. ala na kong panload eh. bka lang kc sabihin nyo nkalimut n q. d pa po. sana klala nyo p q. hapi bday na lang ser. –- Hindi matahimik, Emmanuel Corbito “

No. 2: “Hello there!!! Gosh, it’s your birthday pala Mr. Former President! Kung ‘di pa sinabi sa akin ni Mareng Precy, I won’t remember, promise! Unang-una, gushto kong magpasalamat sa ‘yo for running in the 2010 elections. Kung ‘di ka siguro tumakbo, baka orange ang kulay ngayon ng gobyerno, hindi yellow. Aha-ha-ha-ha. Pangalawa, ahmmm… Ay! Wala na palang pangalawa. Nakakalokah! Wala akong maisip. Aha-ha-ha! Happy happy berrrrthhhhday na lang! May you have many many more mistresses to cum. Ay, ano ba ‘yong nasabi ko?!? Quiet na nga lang ako. I’m sure, papagalitan na naman ako ni Noy! Aha-ha-ha! –- Peace, Krissy! (Aha-ha-ha-ha)”

And the No. 1 text message received by former President Joseph Estrada on his 74th birthday…

“Tigilan mo na ang pagbatikosh sha akin! Shumushobra ka na! Wala kang utang na loob! Baka nakakalimutan mo… kung hindi dahil sha akin, baka sha kulungan ka pa rin nagbi-birthday hanggang ngayon! So pleashe lang! Stop it! –- Justice for Merci, Justice for Mikey! Justice for me, Glori!”

Ooops, may pahabol na text!
“Dear Mr. President, Pasensya na po! Ngayon ko lang naalalang birthday mo nga pala. Napakagulo kasi ng isip ko ngayon. Inom na lang tayo. Kailangan kong makalimot. Senator Chiz.”
—————————————————–
“Binabalaan ko sila. Walang kaibigan, walang kumpare, walang kamag-anak o anak na maaaring magsamantala sa ngayon. At ngayon pa lamang sinasabi ko sa inyo, nag-aaksaya lamang kayo ng panahon. Huwag n’yo ‘kong subukan.”
~Joseph Ejercito Estrada, 13th President of the Philippines
1998 Inaugural

Today is April 19th
On this day in…

607: Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches Earth… sees unrest in the Middle East, earthquakes in Asia, poverty in Africa, and Charlie Sheen in America, and decides to reverse direction.

1882: Charles Darwin died. Apparently, he was not the fittest.

1882: Charles Darwin died. He stopped evolving.

1937: Doña Mary Ejercito delivered a joke… and named it “Joseph.”

1951: General Douglas MacArthur retires from the military. He never returned.

1993: A fire killed 40 people in a psychiatric institute in South Korea. That was insane!

2005: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected Pope. However, his running mate, the candidate for the vice papacy, Cardinal Mar lost to Cardinal Jejomar.

Thanks to Wikipedia, History On-This-Day, and Today in Science History.

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Have a safe and fun vacation! Let’s go Lakers!

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22 responses

19 04 2011
hikatalomato

happy birthday sir! stay healthy by avoiding egg.

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19 04 2011
anon

74 – is that your age, number of houses, or number of mistresses

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19 04 2011
krissy

and remember, like mcdonalds, i am open 24 hours so feel happy and cum to see me anytime. hehe

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19 04 2011
mara

soshal mcdonalds hehe hindi karinderia

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19 04 2011
marja

bwahahaha! ipinanganak at ipinangalanang Joseph! wahahahaa!!!!

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19 04 2011
yoshi

hapi beerday!hehe

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

pag may mga text messages, asahan na ang pinaka

mahaba ay kay kris, madaldal kasi

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

ikaw ba mister heckler ay naniniwala na nakatakda na ang

palasyo para kay binay by 2016? ayy kasasabi mo lang pala

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20 04 2011
MalolosBoy

Sir PH – slight correction po hope you wont mind. Hindi po sa Bara sa Malolos nagdeliver ng inaugural speech si F’Pres. Erap. Sa Luneta rin po. Sa Bara siya nag take oath tapos lumipad din agad sa Luneta para sa inaugural address niya. 🙂

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20 04 2011
professionalheckler

hey, thanks!

Like

20 04 2011
pya

talaga namang extra pa rin si kris, at ssha nga pinakamadami sinabi!. this is just so brilliantly done!

Like

20 04 2011
juanalberto

natawa ako sa txt no. 7. hahaha.. at txter no. 1. bursting of emotions ito. haha

Like

20 04 2011
dan

Enjoy the vacation dyan sa Pinas mga ka-TPHs pro wag din kalimutan mag-repent.

Ingat ang lahat.

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20 04 2011
dan

@Prof TPH:

..san b bakasyon natin Prof? Relax k nman enjoy & ingat.

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22 04 2011
professionalheckler

batangas po! heto, ngayon lang nakapagbasa ng comments dahil ang hirap humanap ng broadband signal. GOOD FRIDAY, 4:37PM

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20 04 2011
Ginalyn

nagkakamali din pala si PH? hehe Pero di siya nagkamali sa blinog niya this Holy Week…..pampagana sa mainit na panahon. Belated Happy beerday, erap!

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20 04 2011
Joel

Ok yung 3.1 hehe

Like

21 04 2011
anon

top app this week on android – the moron test.
should be compulsory for filipino politicians.
manny pacquio is excused. we already know his result

Like

23 04 2011
nota

Lahat na lang, masama sayo. Manalamin ka kaya?

Nakakasira ka na ng moment.

Sarap pa namang tumawa dito sa blog ni PH, nakakawalang gana lang dahil sa mga comments mo!

Ammmfff!

Like

21 04 2011
William

haha thanks bro

Like

22 04 2011
mommy

Can’t stop laughing at Dra Loi’s text.

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26 04 2011
Meat and Marginalia for the week (24-30 Apr 2011) | Interlineal

[…] Loi Reyes Landicho, known as “The Professional Heckler”, in a post listing the top ten messages Erap had received on his […]

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