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HOLY WEAK 2011

17 04 2011


Modernong Talasalitaan:
Holy Week Edition

Makabagong kahulugan ng mga salita, parirala o pangungusap batay sa mga kaganapan sa ating kapaligiran. Ang kahulugan ay maaaring madagdagan, mabawasan, o maiba depende sa mga susunod na pangyayari.

1. Mahal na Araw
Ang karaniwang tawag sa huling pitong araw ng Kuwaresma o Lent.
Tumutukoy rin sa sitwasyong kinasasadlakan ngayon ng maraming Pilipino.
Halimbawa:
Lalaki 1: Pareng Cesar, pahiram naman ng 500, pambili lang ng gatas ni Junior.
Lalaki 2: Pasensya na pareng Andoy. Kulang pang pambili ng bigas at asukal ang pera ko eh. Mahal na Araw kasi. Nagtaasan nang lahat.

2. Penitensya
Isang tradisyong ginagawa ng mga Katoliko tuwing Semana Santa.
Tumutukoy rin sa pang-araw-araw na karanasan ng mga ordinaryong Pilipino dahil sa kabiguan ng kasalukuyang pamahalaang pigilan ang pagtaas ng presyo ng gasolina at bilihin, toll rate, pamasahe sa taxi, tren, jeep, at tricycle, gayundin ang bayarin sa tubig at kuryente,
Halimbawa:
Reporter: Mang Mario, magpi-penitensya ho ba kayo ngayong Biyernes Santo?
Lalaki: Bakit? Hindi pa ba sapat ang araw-araw na penitensya ko? Give me a break, would you? (Sa sobrang inis, nag-Ingles tuloy si Mang Mario)

3. Kalbaryo
Ang lugar kung saan namatay si Jesus ayon sa Bibliya.
Tumutukoy rin sa lugar na kinaroroonan ngayon ng malaking populasyon ng mga Pilipino.
Halimbawa:
Teacher: Kulasa De La Cruz! Where do you live?
Pupil: Good morning ma’am! Sabi po ng nanay at tatay ko, nasa kalbaryo daw po kami.
Teacher: Very good! Pareho tayo! O s’ya, bili ka na ng tocino ko.

4. Visita Iglesia
Isang tradisyong ginagawa ng mga Katoliko tuwing Mahal na Araw.
Tumutukoy rin sa tradisyong ginagawa ng mga trapo tuwing panahon ng eleksyon.
Halimbawa:
Reporter: Congressman, sa’n ang lakad n’yo? Bihis na bihis kayo ah.
Congressman: Ahhh d’yan lang. Magbi-Visita Iglesia ako. Alam mo naman kung gaano kahalaga ang bloc voting ‘di ba?


Semana Santa
It’s that annual Roman Catholic tradition again. As in the previous years, some political figures and government officials are participating in various Holy Week activities.

Former AFP chiefs of staff Efren Abu, Roy Cimatu, and Diomedio Villanueva are organizing a senakulo. They want former military budget officer George Rabusa to play Judas.

The Ligot couple has been reportedly dropped from a senakulo production in their community. They keep forgetting their lines.

There’s a brewing competition between the AFP and Congress in this year’s passion play. Only two are required to play the role of thieves but so many are qualified for the part.

In Makati City, the senakulo will feature Vice President Jejomar Binay… in a special role in which he will attempt to stop the crucifixion of Jesus. In the end though, he’s going to fail.

Retired Major General Carlos F. Garcia is playing Barabbas. He looks forward to striking a deal with Pontius Pilate for a lesser offense.

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile auditioned for several roles but was rejected repeatedly. Organizers say he is best suited to play Methuselah but that’s not one of the characters in the play.

President Aquino has declined an invitation to participate in a modern senakulo in Tarlac. In one of the scenes, he is required to decide where to bury Hestas, one of the thieves. So as not to disappoint the organizers, he asked Vice President Binay to decide for him instead.

In the news

Vice President Jejomar Binay visited actress Pilar Pilapil in the hospital last Saturday. Binay told her, “’Wag kang mag-alala, iso-solve ito ng pulis.” To which, Pilapil said, “Salamat po Mr. DILG secretary!”

Vice President Jejomar Binay visited alleged carjacking, and stabbing victim Pilar Pilapil in the hospital last Saturday. In totally unrelated news, Mar Roxas is planning to visit the wake of teen actor AJ Perez soon.

Probers say the stabbing of actress Pilar Pilapil could possibly be a case of carjacking, kidnapping or plain robbery. In short, “we’re not sure.”


Marcos Burial
As instructed by President Aquino, Vice President Binay is now studying the issue of whether or not former President Ferdinand Marcos should be buried at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. Binay is conducting a survey via email or text message. Ang tanong: Saan ninyo gustong itirik ang dating pangulo?

Just Now
The Ombudsman has recommended the filing of charges against former Agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante, former Agriculture chief Cito Lorenzo and several others for the alleged misuse of the government’s fertilizer funds. In totally unrelated news, the Vatican is filing charges against those responsible for the death of Jesus Christ.

Black Saturday
President Aquino is studying whether to declare April 23, Black Saturday a holiday. If by Tuesday, he couldn’t still come up with a decision, he’ll just ask Vice President Jejomar Binay to decide.

Briefly Noted
Did she change her birth name? According to the Philippine Star’s tabloid, Pilipino Star Ngayon, Pilar Pilapil’s real name is Crispina Martinez-Belen. Ano raw? The only Crispina Martinez-Belen I know is the entertainment editor of the Manila Bulletin. To the reporter and editor of Pilipino Star Ngayon, naimbento na po ang Google. Libre po ito. Gamitin n’yo.


—————————————————–
“All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.”
~Cathy Ladman

In Memoriam
Antonello Joseph “AJ” Perez
February 17, 1993 – April 17, 2011
The ABS-CBN teen star was killed in a vehicular accident in Tarlac before dawn Sunday, April 17, 2011. His last post on Twitter reads, “On the way home already from Dagupan. Long drive ahead.”

Long drive ahead indeed. RIP AJ.

You Have Spoken
Gusto mo bang bumalik sa telebisyon si Willie Revillame?
– Oo naman. Pagbigyan natin. Promise, last na ‘to. 12.16%
– Isang malaking NOOOO! ‘Di siya kawalan sa TV. 73.56%
– Wala akong pakialam. 14.29%

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Have a safe and less-naughty week ahead!

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29 responses

17 04 2011
kenshin

philstar is just being consistent..
consistently wrong! LoL

Like

17 04 2011
oman

😉 nice

Like

17 04 2011
dan

…masaya na sana habang nagbabasa sa first part kaya lng nung umabot na kay AJ nakakabigla. kalungkot nman.

Like

18 04 2011
motorola

Gone too soon 😦

Like

17 04 2011
amateur heckler

ingat sa survey PH. baka naman pagdudahan pa tayo na alaga ng ABS-CBN.

Like

17 04 2011
kaliwete

for a second, I thought Binay would be carrying the cross.. ala Black Nazarene

Like

17 04 2011
big george

korek!!! i-google pag d sigurado…

Like

18 04 2011
Paul

Binay is apparently full blast on the campaign trail for 2016. And PNoy by default has practically ceded the presidential candidacy to him at the expense of Roxas. Of course Roxas has an albatross called Korina

Like

18 04 2011
senior60

o zsazsa everybody behave ha, sabi nga ni mister heckler,

let us have a less-naughty week ahead

Like

18 04 2011
senior60

sa bisaya, kalbaryo is a situation wherein ang pamumuhay
ay, yun na nga, mahirap etc. or, if a wife is undergoing severe
maltreatment from her husband

Like

18 04 2011
senior60

busy talaga si vice presidente, he is everywhere,
bukas nasa lamay na yan ni aj perez

si noynoy kasi, lagi na lang si binay, lagi na lang si binay,
si mar, wala ng assignment?

Like

19 04 2011
esa

Naku, manong @senior60, nasenior moment ako…
I posted my reply to your comment under @marksphere below. Can’t delete it there anymore. Re-post ko and I hope the moderator will just delete my reply under @marksphere. Here goes:
P-Noy should really show us first that he is on top of things, that he could think quick on urgent matters at hand. Like the matter of the late Gen. Angelo Reyes’ burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. The government has already accorded Gen. Reyes with a decent wake, completos recados…but to have allowed burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani was too much. Kaya haun tuloy, Bongbong Marcos saw an opening to revive the issue of burial for FM there. And just this week-end, P-Noy was dilly-dallying on whether to declare Black Saturday a special holiday or not. Kahapon lang nagdesisyon at malaking utang na loob pa yata natin that it was announced before Holy Thursday.

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

naku esa, nag-abala ka pa sa pag re-post, pwede mo namang
sabihin lang na yun na nga, mabuti na lang na, whatever you’d
post here can’t be deleted anymore or else, sayang, dahil mas
comprehensive yung sinabi mo doon..

anyway, whatever, basta ako, i campaigned hard against noynoy,
pero sabi ko rin na, whoever will win, suportahan natin sya…..
at alam mo ba esa, ayy hindi pa pala dahil hindi ko pa nasabi hehe
si gilbert ang manok ko noon..

Like

18 04 2011
marksphere

Talaga namana pong nakakalungkot ang pagkamatay ni AJ Perez. Because he died young, we will forever think of him as this cute 18-year-old with a smiling face. RIP to him. 😦

Like

18 04 2011
etchosera

Hmmmm!

Like

19 04 2011
esa

There is really nothing wrong in delegating jobs/responsibilities. But one should do it by first proving that he is on top of things, that he is capable of doing those things himself esp. decision-making matters. As it is, the way it looks, P-Noy delegates when he wants to dodge decision-making matters like to bury or not to bury FM at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. VP Binay is on his own in this assignment, I doubt it if P-Noy gave him even general instructions, pros and cons, etc.
P-Noy should really show us first that he is on top of things, that he could think quick on urgent matters at hand. Like the matter of the late Gen. Angelo Reyes’ burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. The government has already accorded Gen. Reyes with a decent wake, completos recados…but to have allowed burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani was too much. Kaya haun tuloy, Bongbong Marcos saw an opening to revive the issue of burial for FM there. And just this week-end, P-Noy was dilly-dallying on whether to declare Black Saturday a special holiday or not. Kahapon lang nagdesisyon at malaking utang na loob pa yata natin that it was announced before Holy Thursday.

Like

19 04 2011
i told u so

@esa: As far as I can recall you voted for him, right? Do you mean to say that you voted for him without even checking about his past accomplishments and if he is capable of making sound decisions? #justasking

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

aba esa, isang malaking karangalan ito, imaginin mo ha,

sa dinamidaming posters dito na nag discusyunan sa mga

candidates noon, naalaala ni, i told u so na, yun na nga…

and i think you have a lot of explaining to do

Like

18 04 2011
anon

i agree.
all down to the ktv bar for some flagellation

Like

18 04 2011
kurt

Pilipino Star Ngayon is accurate for being inaccurate.

Like

19 04 2011
esa

The Belmontes should really replace the editors of
Pilipino Star. Sunud-sunod na mistakes ay nakaka-
damage ng reputation and credibility ng newspaper.

Like

19 04 2011
whatcredibility

they don’t have credibility to begin with. 🙂

Like

19 04 2011
barbertalk

@senior60:

Malapit n matapos ang appointment ban para s mga natalo last elections.

Kaya si Mar, from bieng epal behind the scenes, makakaepal n officially once mabigyan ng pwesto.

hehehe

Like

19 04 2011
esa

There are a lot of losing LP senatorial candidates in the queue for appointments. A number naman are deserving and could give P-Noy a boost wrt honesty, ability and credentials. I hope Alex Lacson even if not in the queue could be given a responsible post. Same with Riza Hontiveros-Baraquel.. Ruffy Biazon is okay sana but his wife already got a very juicyyyy post in Subic.

Like

19 04 2011
NoyNoy

Samar o Balay?

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

hindi ko gusto si riza, masyadong trying hard

Like

20 04 2011
senior60

hindi naman on an official capacity ang ibig kong sabihin,

yung kung mga anoano lang ba…

Like

19 04 2011
pasingit

Kakahiya naman proofreader and
editor ng Pilipino Star Ngayon!
Nasa newspaper business sila,
di nila kilala si Crispina Belen?

Teka, yun ba ung nanay ni Janice de?
lol

Comedy naman dating ng pic
ni madam imeldific!
Parang si Miss Piggy lang!
… na gustong humalik!
(uyyy… poem! lol)

Like

3 09 2012
To PhilStar: Malabon’s Vice Mayor is actually a MAN « The Filipino Scribe

[…] Nevertheless, a very brief article with three glaring factual lapses as in this case is unforgivable especially since information verification can easily be done online. As humor blogger Professional Heckler once wrote, “Naimbento na po ang Google. Libre po ito. Gamitin n’yo.” […]

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