THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE WILLIE


APRIL 15 is the deadline for the filing of income tax return (ITR). President Aquino has reportedly filed his own ITR earlier this week. Under liability, he wrote, “Communications Group.”

Vice President Jejomar Binay has also settled his obligations with the tax agency. His ITR revealed he made more money than President Aquino. Quizzed by the media on the matter, Binay said, “Bakit? Sino bang mas maraming nagawa?!”

Good News, Bad News
Good News: Umento sa sahod ipapatupad sa Mayo ayon sa gobyerno.
Bad News: Aanhin mo ang umento kung wala namang trabaho?

Good News: Pangulong Aquino magtatrabaho daw sa Holy Week.
Bad News: Humihingi siya ng overtime pay! #waley!

Good News: Sabi ng palasyo, “walang krisis sa bigas!”
Bad News: Sabi ng mga tao, “walang pambili ng bigas!”

Good News: Willie Revillame, mawawala nang two weeks!
Bad News: Two weeks lang.

Good News: Willie Revillame, mawawala nang dalawang linggo
Bad News: Atty. Lenard De Vera, papalit daw muna sa show! #toingkz!

Good News: Pangulong Aquino, tahimik sa isyu ng coco levy funds ni Danding Cojuangco
Bad News: Bakit good news? Anong good news do’n?

The News: Pangulong Aquino, tahimik sa isyu ng coco levy funds ni Danding Cojuangco
Bad News: Blood is thicker than hair.

Good News: Kris Aquino, ayaw na raw sa pag-ibig!
Bad News: ‘Pag-ibig’ mas ayaw sa kanya!

Good News: Pangulong Aquino, kasamang nananghalian ang Bb. Pilipinas-Universe na si Shamcey Supsup
Bad News: Shamcey, ayaw ibigay ang cell number! #toingkz!

Ano ang iniisip ng babae/lalaki sa larawan?

A: “Kung makapisil naman ‘tong matandang ‘to, halatang sabik na sabik!”
B: “Wala ka bang planong maging reporter o newscaster?”
C: “Ay, bakit parang malagkit? Ano kaya ang huling hinawakan nito?”
D: “Join me later iha. Joyride tayo.”


CBCP and McDo
McDonald’s has stopped the airing of its latest television advertisement after Catholic Church leaders complained that it was sending the wrong message to children. Last Monday, a statement expressing disapproval of the ad was released by the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines otherwise known as the Advertising Standards Council.

Girlfriend mo na ba ako?
Ayoko nga. ‘Di pa ako ready eh.
Huh?
Demanding ang mga girlfriend. Gusto ganito. Gusto ganyan. Ewan!
Gusto ko lang naman ng fries.
Talaga?

[Pari at sakristan, nag-uusap.]

Polluted
According to the Department of Environment and Natural Resources, the most polluted area in Metro Manila is around the MRT Edsa/Taft station in Pasay City. In second place is radio host Raffy Tulfo’s mouth.

Venus Hurt
Beauty queen-turned-TV host Maria Venus Raj whose hairstyle during the Bb. Pilipinas 2011 telecast was lambasted by critics online admitted that she was deeply hurt by the negative comments on Twitter. Venus declined to elaborate, excused herself and said, “Mauna na po ako. Late na po ako sa prusisyon.”

In Hollywood…
Despite the controversies, criticisms, and ridicule, Charlie Sheen is reportedly making a TV comeback. He couldn’t say no to Manny Pangilinan.

Reports say Catherine Zeta Jones has checked into a mental health clinic. The actress suffered a nervous breakdown following the arrest of her son, Jason Ivler Jones.
————————————————-
“The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.”
~John S. Coleman on Taxation


April 15th
On this day in…

1999: Former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto & her husband, Asif Ali Zardari were convicted of corruption. Their son, Mikey Bhutto Zardari was charged with tax evasion.

Personal
Congratulations to both GMA7 and ABS-CBN for bagging awards in the 2011 New York Festivals. GMA won a silver and two bronze, while ABS-CBN won a silver and a bronze. Here’s the complete list of this year’s winners.

Yari Ka!
Is the president of the Czech Republic a pen stealer?

You Have Spoken
Dapat bang ma-suspend ang programa ni Willie Revillame dahil sa “macho dancing” incident?
– Dapat lang! 67.92%
– Hindi na. Warningan na lang. 17.55%
– Bahala na ang MTRCB. 14.53%

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(Note: Shamcey Supsup and President Aquino/Official palace photo.)

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

67 thoughts on “THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE WILLIE”

      1. Please read European History 5th to 15the century and on contemporary functioning of the catholic church in contemporary times. You will see there that church dictation of state policies, intimidating political leaders, non-payment of taxes, living in palaces while espousing poverty, suppression of formation of its own abuses and self-righteous pontification on morality and science that CBCP practices are patterns in the Dark Ages. If CBCP does in modern Europe what it does here these bishops would be lynched.

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  1. Venus declined to elaborate, excused herself and said, “Mauna na po ako. Late na po ako sa prusisyon.”

    bull’s eye, ph! i thought so she’s joining the “prusisyon” really, assuming the role of Sta. Veronica or Sta. Magda… Hulihin ang hairdresser nya! Ipako sa krus! Ipako sa krus!!!

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  2. On second thought, VP Binay is having a grand time manning the houses and OFW affairs, a generous offset to the original local government post he didn’t get. Now, he’s “slowly but surely” making strides into the front row. And we recall that “soft” battlecry in makati very early in 2009 branding him.. the “Obama of the Philippines.” It was kinda against nature, LOL at the time… but don’t look now…

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  3. “The News: Pangulong Aquino, tahimik sa isyu ng coco levy funds ni Danding Cojuangco
    Bad News: Blood is thicker than hair.”

    Mr PH, I guess it pays to be related to the sitting president! Haha. Alam naman natin na sinuportahan ng mga anak ni Danding si Noynoy during last year’s elections.

    Kris confident uncle Danding is for Noynoy
    http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/regions/03/29/10/kris-confident-uncle-danding-noynoy

    27 years later, Noynoy says he no longer believes Danding was brains of
    Ninoy’s murder
    http://www.malaya.com.ph/03172010/news2.html

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  4. Mikey given by Kim Henares until April 15, today, to show his ITR proving he paid taxes. According to PH, Mikey was charged for tax evasion on April 15. Ok thats Mikey Bhutto. The same Mikey, if you ask the kapampangans what is the translation of Bhutto in Tagalog. He he he!

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      1. as a would be politician – hypocricy and stupidity come to mind but there are others…

        Name a single politician u know who is not a hypocrite and is not stupid. I’m not saying we tolerate hypocrisy and stupidity but why single out manny pacquiao?

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      1. i find it a little interesting that we filipinos always say, ‘inggit ka lang kay…’ when we come to someone’s defense. that’s what willie’s supporters do too. ‘inggit lang sina jim paredes coz laos na sila…’, or ‘inggit lang ung iba kasi sobrang yaman na ni willie…’

        Hmmm, interesting. So is our mindset at this point something like, When someone expresses negative opinions, it is because they are envious of what the other person has? Is this coming from the fact that we have been deprived of so many things that the premise all the time is that we covet what others have?

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  5. good news – car jacking crimes are down – in makati
    bad news – not in antipolo city.

    note to old celebrities. if you say ‘ do you know who i am’ the answer is likely to be no

    if you say ‘ i’m a celebrity, get me out of here’.
    that is a reality show. doesnt work in real life darling.

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  6. i can cross my heart and say that i have never evaded tax, never cheated on my wife, and never hit a women. those are not special things, simply basics of being civilised.
    and never offered or taken a bribe. that is a principle of some successful companies – mine included.

    Like

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