64


SWS Survey
According to the latest Social Weather Stations survey Vice President Jejomar Binay’s satisfaction rating rose from +57 in November 2010 to +74 in March 2011. Thrilled by the survey results, Binay vowed that he wouldn’t fail his supporters; wouldn’t stop working hard, and wouldn’t buy a sports car.

Analysts say the sharp decline in President Aquino’s ratings is alarming. In fact, his approval rating is just a notch higher than Willie Revillame’s.

Noy and Ping
The Department of Foreign Affairs insists it did not issue any travel papers to Sen. Panfilo Lacson who was able to travel from country to country. That means, either he used fake travel documents or he was Pope for more than a year.


President Aquino met with Senator Panfilo Lacson in Malacañang on the same day three Filipinos were executed in China. No wonder, the President was nowhere to be found.

Reports say President Aquino and Senator Lacson talked for more than one hour. Rumors have it Aquino was too eager and overly excited to see his friend again. He was asking Lacson so many questions, the senator had to Google for answers.

Top 6 Things Overheard During the Aquino/Lacson Meeting

No. 6: “Astig ng tsikot natin ah. Puwedeng pa-try?”

No. 5: “Bakit nga ba natagalan ang paglabas mo? Wala ka yatang tiwala sa akin eh!”

No. 4: “Ayaw magkwento ni Shalani eh. Ano ba talagang nangyari sa inyong dalawa?”

No. 3: “Sabi mo natuto kang magluto sa Google. Ano ba ‘yong Google? Cooking show?”

No. 2: “Bahala ka na kay De Lima.”

No. 1: “Bahala ka na kay Mercedita.”


GMA Turns 64
Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo turns 64 today. I heard she’s not celebrating her birthday this year. You know, it’s not really a good sign when your age is higher than the number of your allies in Congress.

At dahil kaarawan ng dating pangulo, narito ang basa ng mga bituin sa kanyang kapalaran sa linggong ito at sa mga darating na araw. Mrs. Arroyo, makinig kayo:

Sa trabaho: Ituloy ang nasimulang kasipagan. ‘Yan na nga lang ang nag-iisang positive trait mo, huwag mo nang pakawalan.

Sa kalusugan: Ang palagiang pagtakbo palabas ng session hall kapag may nagtatalumpati laban sa ‘yo ay isang form of exercise. Just keep it up – kahit nagmumukha ka nang tanga.

Sa pag-ibig: Wala ka nang choice. S’ya na ‘yan! Magtiis ka na lang. Tutal, nagtititiis rin naman siya sa ‘yo. Patas lang.

Sa pakikitungo: Malalagay sa pagsubok ang pagkakaibigan n’yo ng isang babaeng may initials na OMG. Kumuha ng abogado bago mag-Mayo. Mabuti nang sure. Sabi nga ni Erap, “Been there, been that. You can never can tell.”

Sa pag-ibig: Nasabi ko na sa ‘taas. Hindi na magbabago ‘yon. Asa ka pa!

Ang iyong lucky color ay fuchsia. Inuulit ko lang – ang lucky ay ‘yong color, hindi ikaw.
Ang iyong lucky numbers ay idu-draw pa lang mamaya sa Pampanga. Maghintay!

At ‘yan ang espesyal na pangitain ng mga bituin sa kaarawan ng dating pangulo. Tandaan mo lamang Madam Gloria Macapagal-Aroyo, “Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang iyong kapalaran, hawak ito ng Ombudsman!”

Modern Catholics
The other day, the CBCP announced that Catholics could do Visita Iglesia online! The 14 Stations of the Cross won’t be available in cyberspace this year but if you want to experience it yourself, just take the MRT/LRT during rush hour.

Smart Gilas Wows
The Philippine basketball team, Smart Gilas has been making waves as an all-amateur guest team in the PBA right now. Fans just love them. And who wouldn’t? They play like pros, and their basketball skills are so naturalized, I mean, natural.
————————————–
“Compromise makes a good umbrella, but a poor roof; it is temporary expedient, often wise in party politics, almost sure to be unwise in statesmanship.”
~James Russell Lowell


April 5th.
On this day in…

1994: Kurt Cobain killed himself with a shotgun.  After three days, the police started to suspect that something bad happened to the Nirvana frontman because, from the outside, his house smelled like teen spirit.

You Have Spoken!
Ano sa palagay mo: Child abuse nga ba ang nangyari kay “Janjan” sa show ni Willie Revillame?
– OO naman! Exploited ang bata both by the parents and the show. 78.95%
– Mga OA kayo! Inggit lang kayo kay Papi! 15.16%
– Haven’t seen the video. 5.89%

Elsewhere
Time Magazine: More Catholic than the Pope? Manila Suburb Cracks Down on Condoms

Find Your Fun via Find Your Fun.Ph

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Enjoy every moment of your life. Ingat!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

48 thoughts on “64”

  1. not related to today’s heckling… i heard that PNoy’s Porsche was a total wreck after an accidentrecently but driver survived. Local Porsche dealer is also silent.
    i’m really worried now. come to think of it, if PNoy can lie about that accident, then lying can become a habit until such time that he won’t be able to distinguish lies from truth.
    marcos went that way, not being able to tell truths from lies (and lies from truths).
    can you update me on this privately? thanks, PH.

    Like

    1. total wreck ang car pagkatapos si noynoy survived unscathed?
      how swerte naman ni noynoy, ikalawang swerte actually…

      pero, halimbawa na dead si noynoy, ano na, ganuon na lang?
      sino ang pananagutin? ang mga sikyo nya for allowing him to
      drive? baka inaantokantok na si noynoy noon…

      and noynoy should be reprimanded, he is the president of the
      land and therefore must act accordingly, as one, hindi yung…

      ay nasaan na ba ako…

      Like

  2. happy birthday madam gloria!

    i think you’re not going to make it until 84. why? eh 64 ka palang nga dami na artificial component ang katawan mo:

    1. your boobs are artificial
    2. your cheeks are artificial
    3. your forehead is artificial
    4. your front teeth are artificial because it belongs to a rabbit
    5. your smile is artificial
    6. your apology is artificial
    7. and even your orgasm is artificial

    Like

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