LUCK’S ON LACSON


SENATOR PANFILO LACSON is back! You know what that means? The NBI, the PNP, and military intelligence agents can finally stop pretending they’re looking for him.

When he arrived in Cebu from Hong Kong Saturday morning, Senator Panfilo Lacson was reportedly alone. But critics refuted the report saying Malacañang’s thoughts were “with” him.

Reports say the Philippine National Police did not have enough knowledge as regards Lacson’s arrival last Saturday… just as they did not have enough information as regards his departure last year.

National Bureau of Investigation Director Magtanggol Gatdula insists his former boss is “really free” and “the bureau no longer has anything to do with him.” As if you did.

Lawyer Nancy Tagle of the Bureau of Immigration (BI) in Cebu told the Philippine Daily Inquirer that Senator Lacson acted as if “he didn’t want to be noticed.” Unfortunately, everyone, with the exception of NBI agents, did notice him.

Last Saturday, Senator Panfilo Lacson arrived in Lapu-Lapu City in Cebu… not to avoid the media in Manila but because his wife, Alicia wanted dried mangoes as pasalubong.

Reports say Senator Panfilo Lacson was wearing a hat and sunglasses when he arrived in Cebu. When he arrived in Manila, he was wearing a smile.

Top 6 Questions You Shouldn’t Ask Senator Lacson in his Scheduled Press Conference Monday (Or You’re Dead)

No. 6: Was there a third party in the breakup of Jodi and Pampi?

No. 5: You said you didn’t do it and Erap has also denied doing it. Was it suicide then?

No. 4: Who among your advisers and PR consultants thought of linking Cezar Mancao to Justice Secretary Leila De Lima?

No. 3: What the f*ck were they thinking?

No. 2: Do you want to thank anyone in Malacañang?

And the No. 1 question you should not ask Senator Lacson in his scheduled press con…

Did you enjoy watching the NBI’s and the PNP’s yearlong Moro-moro?

In other news…
Cong. Manny Pacquiao said if his father had used a condom, he wouldn’t be here today. I say had Manny Pacquiao used one, he would have not fathered a child with a woman other than his wife.


Manny Pacquiao has deleted his Twitter account. Apparently, he could take punches but not punch lines.

OMG, LOL
The OED or Oxford English Dictionary’s 2011 edition has just added Internet-associated expressions like OMG (Oh My God), LOL (Laughing Out Loud) and IMHO (In My Humble/Honest Opinion). Failing to muster enough votes from OED’s board of directors were TTMO and NDRRMC.

Bottom Three
Idol hopeful Thia Megia was in the Bottom 3 last week but was nonetheless declared safe. Also in last week’s Bottom 3 were Merceditas Gutierrez and the Ligot couple.


March 27th.
On this day in…

1884: The first long-distance telephone call is made from Boston to New York. It abruptly ended when the guy in Boston said (in Filipino), “Tapos na ako! Ikaw?”

1938: Sino-Japanese War: The Battle of Taierzhuang takes place. The troop that can spell Taierzhuang correctly in one attempt will be declared winner.

1963: Quentin Tarantino is born. Chin first.

1968: Yuri Gagarin dies in a plane crash. He has completed his orbit on earth.

1998: The Food and Drug Administration approves Pfizer’s prescription drug Viagra. In the Philippines, Senator Juan Ponce Enrile files a resolution commending Pfizer.

2006: Zacarias Moussaoui testifies in court that he is supposed to hijack a fifth airplane on September 11, 2001, and fly it into the White House. However, the flight of the fifth airplane, later identified as Cebu Pacific was delayed for three hours, ruining Moussaoui’s original plan.

2010: PLDT chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan addresses the graduates of his alma mater, Ateneo De Manila University. He spoke about protecting the environment… specifically citing the importance of recycling plastics, paper, and graduation speeches.
——————————————-
“It is not a Justice System. It is just a system.”
~Bob Enyart

Quote of the Weak

– Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao‘s tweetply to a Twitter follower who asked why he’s absent when the House of Representatives voted on the impeachment case against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez last March 21

How ironic! How gullible!
Philippine Star columnist Carmen Pedrosa wrote in her latest column: “We are gullible because we are not able or do not question information. We prefer to believe what other persons tell us.”

In that column, she discussed a purported Harvard study that found Filipinos to be the most gullible people in the world. Guess what? That supposed study was a “gawa-gawang” story she got from a satirical blog. Yari ka!

Dear Ms Pedrosa:
There are several people in this world that I find really gullible. And you are all of them!

Three Strikes
Strike 1: Paquito Diaz, dead! Not!
Strike 2: It’s Oban! No it’s Gaa!
Strike 3: Filipinos are gullible!
That’s three strikes. Sorry, you’re out!

Briefly Noted
The Philippine Daily Inquirer is the only local broadsheet that comes out with blind items in at least three sections: Entertainment (Rushes); Business (Biz Buzz), and Sunday Lifestyle. Here’s an intriguing item from today’s (3/27) issue. Girl cries ‘rape’-years later-and two most prominent families might end up in

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

48 thoughts on “LUCK’S ON LACSON”

  3. Dear part-time congressman.
    From boxing champ to political chump.
    Sorry to hear twitter beat you on a knockout.
    Thats karma for voting no to impeachment.
    And that you lost 38 million pesos in the casino.
    Thats karma for being a friend of singson.
    And that people are laughing at your grammar and spelling.
    Thats karma for not having an education.
    At this rate you will soon be as popular as colonel gadaffi, and can kiss goodbye to being senator.
    Keep selling the t-shirts.
    ‘manny knows’ is your latest design!
    Optimistic and pretentious i think.
    Must go. Mosley is having a laughing fit.
    Keep ducking and diving
    Ffloyd
    Ps if you wont take me on mano e mano how about spell boxing – a variant of chess boxing. You have to spell the word correctly before you can throw a punch.

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  12. What is pacquios point. Use a condom and save the world from liars, cheats, gamblers, and low life who disrepect women, marriage, and family.
    And use a condom to prevent unwanted children who you then deny, neglect and abandon.
    Pacman – the poster boy for condoms. Makes sense. ‘packs a punch, and packs a condom’

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      2. For those who are too young and the still gullible, the Pedrosa family had to go into exile in Britain when Marcos imposed Martial Law. Reason – Carmen Pedrosa wrote “The Untold Story of Imelda Marcos” which brought out a lot of skeletons from the Romualdez closet that both the Marcos and Romualdez families would have rather kept in the closet (sorry, no queens there, save for Madam Imelda). That accounts for the veddy British accent of Verownicah Pedrose-a.

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  21. lacson says he has knowledge of the dacer killing but wont say.
    he says he wont say who helped him to evade justice.
    he wont talk about his wife beating son.
    he sounds a self interested waste of space to me and another political low life back on the pork barrel gravy train.

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  22. Dear public
    I have had a hard time evading justice. I even had to cook for myself. How bad is that.
    And stay in 4 star not 5 star hotels which is what i am used to and my right as one of the elite.
    I even had to meet common people. Imagine how hard that was.
    Anyway am now back where i belong and my pledge is honesty and integrity to the people, but i am saying nothing on the grounds it may incriminate me and is an invasion of my privacy.
    All this pressure from de lima. You would think someone died. Oh i forgot. They did.
    Must go. The designers are here to redecorate my office. The pressures of senate.
    Yours arrogantly
    Pimpernel ping

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  24. Kay Manny: Sus intawon Dodong…pag focus nalang nang imong pagka boksingero… tu-od People’s Champ ka, pero sa akong pana-aw sa mga pipila ka tuig labi na kay Congressman naman kaha ka… gihlasan na jud ko maminaw kanimo… lisod jud ning gamhanan na ba… di ko matingala kung mapildi ka ni Mosley.. wah sad koy keber kung mada-og kah… ang modatu ra kay ikaw, Singson, Atienza. Dayon shopping sa Forum ang imong asawa sa Gucci, LV, MK, ug uban pang high-end nga tindahan dinha, kay siempre unsa ra man nang dollar sa inyong kamot, sinsilyo ra nah…
    Ikaduha: kung gusto jud nimo matagaan ang mga tao sa Saranggani ug hospital, maghire ka ug mga doctors/nurses/therapist ug uban pa’ng health workers, nga mao’y mag serbisyo anang hospital. Maka hatag ka pa ug trabaho ug hinaot nga ang mga sueldo nila dagko jud ikompara sa mga ubang ospital sa Davao/GenSan/Bansalan/Digos/Cotabato City ug bisan sa Metro Manila… kana tan-awon ta kung imo jud nang mahimo kay Congressman man kaha ka!

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    2. dabawenya, pwede magpayo/makialam, alam mo kasi,
      noon, nag binisaya din kami ng usapan ni hikatalomato
      pero may nag suggest na gawin na lang nating taglish
      for the benifit of the doubt ayy of the ano pala, para sa
      hindi maka intindi ng bisaya…

      kaya, i suggest you translate from the top…

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