EXECUTIONS


Mum on Execution
President Aquino refuses to comment on China’s decision to proceed with the execution of three Filipino drug convicts. The President is dismayed but he opts to keep quiet so as not to offend Beijing, its people, and Jejomar Binay.

China has decided to proceed with the execution of three convicted Filipino drug mules. President Aquino now considers sending Mar Roxas to Beijing.

OMG Impeachment
House justice committee chairman Niel Tupas says the Iglesia ni Cristo is supporting Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez (OMG). Alarmed, President Aquino is sending Ballsy, Pinky, Viel and Kris to the INC headquarters.

Liberal Party secretary-general and Cavite Rep. Joseph Emilio Abaya has allegedly sent a text message warning fellow solons of “zero pork” if they wouldn’t vote for the impeachment of Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. Confused congressmen have less than 48 hours to decide between Iglesia and delihensya.


Overseas…
Libya is in chaos. People are angry, depressed, and losing hope. Wait a minute. That’s not in Libya. That’s outside Banco Filipino branches!

Jobless
Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. says the government should brace itself for the rise in the number of unemployed Filipinos. In issuing the warning, Villar cited the developments in Japan, the Middle East, and Banco Filipino.


Radiation
Reports say Japan has detected abnormal levels of radiation in spinach near a stricken nuclear plant. The news has prompted Popeye to declare a truce with Bluto.

Hubert vs. Jessica
Hubert Webb has filed a civil suit against Jessica Alfaro for “giving false testimony.” He’s also filing a suit against Dante Jimenez for “giving Lauro Vizconde false hopes.”


Manila’s Finest?
Five members of the Manila Police District have been detained for allegedly pocketing 12 million pesos in ransom money intended for the release of a kidnapped Malaysian trader. The victim is still in shock. It was his first time to get kidnapped by two separate groups in 24 hours.

Before the accused cops surrendered, Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim issued a shoot-to-kill order against them. Lest you forget, Lim has jurisdiction over the Wild, Wild Western Police District.


March 20th…
On this day in:

1868: The Jesse James Gang robs a bank in Russelville, Kentucky. They left with absolutely nothing because the bank they robbed was a branch of Banco Filipino.

1916: Albert Einstein publishes his general theory of relativity. Oprah refuses to endorse it on her ‘Oprah Book Club’ because she couldn’t understand anything.

1942: In Australia, General Douglas MacArthur makes his famous speech in which he says: “I came out of Bataan and I shall return” – to the delight of Filipinos, and his two mistresses in the Philippines.

1956: Tunisia gains independence from France. Fifty-five years later, it would gain independence from its own president.

1990: Imelda Marcos, widow of ex-Philippines dictator Ferdinand Marcos, goes on trial for bribery, embezzlement, and racketeering – a publicity stunt for her forthcoming return to the Philippines.

1996: The United Kingdom announces that humans can catch “mad cow disease” – otherwise known as pre-menstrual syndrome.

March 21st…
On this day in:

1843: Baptist preacher William Miller of Massachusetts predicts the world will end today. Tanga! Next year pa!

1970: The first Earth Day proclamation is issued. It didn’t help.

1980: On the season finale of the soap opera Dallas, the infamous character J.R. Ewing is shot by an unseen assailant, leading to the catchphrase “Who shot J.R.?” Ferdinand Marcos insists, “Rolando Galman.”

1985: Larry Flynt offers to sell his pornography empire for $26 million. Vicki Belo attempts but fails to buy it for Hayden Kho Jr.

1997: Inside a coffee shop at Tel Aviv, Israel, a suicide bomber kills 3 and injures 49. The barista survives and is now the manager of Starbucks Jerusalem.
——————————–
“I hate banks. They do nothing positive for anybody except take care of themselves. They’re first in with their fees and first out when there’s trouble.”
~Earl Warren

So True!
“Here, there’s no laws—only red light and green light. The jeepneys don’t respect anything.”
~American cager Marcus Douthit who was recently declared a “naturalized Filipino”

Survey Says
Sa pahayag ng Phivolcs na ripe sa paggalaw ang Marikina Valley Fault Line, ang una mong reaksyon:
-Deadma! Handa ako. 11.83%
-Nakakatakot naman. ‘Wag nga kayong ganyan. 26.33%
-Pray na lang tayo. 61.83%

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

66 thoughts on “EXECUTIONS”

    1. uuyyy anon, ikaw ha sumusobra ka na, ano gusto mo
      boxing? hahaha sabihin mo, S ka kay mommy d kaya
      laging pumuputok ang ano mo…

      alam mo ng hindi nag mamaster in english si pacquiao
      katulad mo tapos gusto mo magkasinggaling kayo?
      pagkatapos sasabihin mo ngayon, you are just a mean
      heckler? hindi ha, again, S ka lang…

      Like

      Reply

      1. he may be your hero but for me wealth does not command respect per se.
        he lies, cheats on his wife, evades taxes, has a gambling problem, is a spendthrift, rarely attends congress, is uneducated.
        in the ring he is great, in politics he is fighting above his weight, but the masses vote for personalities hence the mess we are in.

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      2. yes anon, inside the ring, he is my hero, outside, it’s none
        of my business anymore…

        i mean, for example, on how he will spend his own money
        should not be our concern anymore, he worked hard for it,
        sweat and blood, and if he will end up penniless, that’s his
        problem…

        in politics, he is only a congressman and so, if and when, he
        will be a problem of his constituents alone and will not include
        you and hikata…

        uneducated….generally speaking, there are who act and behave
        as more educated as those who are educated, now what’s the use
        of all those diplomas hanging on the wall as proofs of being
        educated if a man acts and behaves as uneducated as can be…

        Like

      3. politicians, celebrities etc become role models and so it does matter. if people subscribe to the view that it is none of their business then the past is repeated where elected politicians are unaccountable and live above the law. hence no freedom of information act.
        just read the inquirer today. councillors at quezon city each get 43 million pesos a year. apathy of people lets them get away with it.

        Like

      4. uuyy hikata, please help me out, ano sa english ang, ayaw
        pagpabuangbuang…but because you can’t answer yet, i will
        try na lang, bahala na si batman…

        anon, don’t play dumb because you are not, you know well
        that what i was referring to with “none of my business” was
        about his money only, do not bungle the issue…

        but really it’s very hard to follow your thinking, you are like a
        butterfly who kept on hopping from one topic to another….

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      5. last reply in this post.
        the theme was that people who choose to be in public life must accept rrsponsibilty, accountability and act with dignity, decorum and be positive role models reflecting what the country should be.
        in the absense of freedom of speech and press the chanceso are that more people will abuse their power and position. that situation is rife here.
        in one of the poorest country’s in the work you find that politicians are the highest paid in the world. that days everything and explains why the country went from a leader in asia to the basket case.
        i also think that in a country of poverty an elected ogficial should not flaunt his wealth. that shoes little real sensitivity for the masses. be discreet.
        have a nice day

        Like

  3. no idea how and why the Iglesia ni Kristo would take interest on OMG’s impeachment, i mean, non-impeachment at all. would they sustain a non-performing asset? sbagay, supporter ba sila ni GMA? nag-support nga sila kay erap ah! ay naku, mixed up na; can’t remember my history!

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    Reply

  6. I’m all for the execution of these persons!

    Nagkasala sila sa China, nararapat lang na tanggapin nila ang parusa. At dahil din sa mga tulad nila, natuturingan na sa buong mundo na ang mga Pilipino eh drug mules!

    Dapat idemanda din si Vice President Nognog Binay ng mga kapamilya nitong tatlong ito for “giving them false hopes”, di ba PH?

    Kakahiya ang pagyayabang ni Nognog Binay nung dumating galing China na kuno kuno naayos na nya yung kaso ng tatlong ito!

    CHE!

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    Reply

    2. Si, senior, sometime in the 80’s and obviously nakabangon after a decade or so. but then, hirap talaga mga banking intitutions for so long. if you’re just alone, as in “singlehood” it’s hard to survive in the market. what the other private banks do is merge to stay afloat and only the bigger private banks carry the torch. look at what happen to far east, family savings bank, capitol, pci, equitable, etc… they’re all out of the picture. what we see now prominently are the surviving giants like bpi, metrobank, and now the largest, bdo.

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      4. hahaha….. in fairness masarap ang inihaw na mais. huwag lang yong klase ng mais na tagdadalawa or tatatlo lang ang butil. supersarap daw iyon sabi ni inday na kapitbahay namin.

        ang tutong na mais masarap din gawing kape. and unlike real coffee beans, ang kapeng gawa sa mais ay di nakakagutom. try it sometimes etchos

        Like

      6. you nailed it PH.

        Nakainis lang talaga isipin na pinagduduldulan ng mga Pinoy ang sarili sa basketball na nangangailangan ng height (wala naman sa lahi natin ang katangkaran e, pwera sa mga may dugong banyaga), to the point na inaturalize pa si douthit para may “tall one” sa team gilas.

        Benta naman ang mga talent ng pinoy sa baseball, football, at iba pang team games, masyado kasing maka “US”

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      7. PH, 5 years ang naturalization process dito sa pinas, ang pagkakaalam ko marami pang foreign players ang gustong maging naturalized pinoy (douthit sa basketball, elhabib brothers naman sa football is waiting to be naturalized) . si freddie roach naturalized na rin di ba. basta pagdating sa sports mas mabilis.

        Like

      9. hikata, ang tingin ko sa iyo para kang may mabigat na pasanin
        sa mundo, parang you are full of hatred in your heart…

        subukan mo kayang tumayo dyan sa kinauupuan mo, take a
        deep breath, mag exercise ka, magpapapawis ka, kung
        kinakailangan sumayaw at kanta ka rin, shout at the top of
        your voice if need be, do crazy things that you haven’t done
        before except drugs lang, for a change ba lang…

        and best of all, baka may mga kapitbahay ka dyan na magagandang
        dilag, take a shot ng magkaroon ka ng inspiration in life ano ba…

        Like

      10. wala namang sure sa sports kuya ph… kaya nga sports. wala rin akong nakikitang mali aksi team sports naman ang basketball kaya may pinoy pa rin na naglalaro. wala naman syang inaagawan ng trabaho kasi wala namang 6’11 na pilipinong player. siguro po di mo pa nasubukang maglaro gn basketball na lahat ng kalaban nyo e matangkad kaya di mo pa hinangad na magkaron ng kakamping matangkad. marami dyang ibang available na athlete na pdeng i naturalize pero sino ba ang willing? syempre dun sila lalaro sa country nila. sir, sports na po ito wag na nating pulitikahin. gusto mo banatan mo na lang yung mga tga POC at PSC sampo ng mag anak na cojuanco. thank you.

        Like

      1. pampagulo? siguro dumaan ka na sa isang heart-breaking
        relationship, pero hindi ka dapat nadala, try and try until
        you’ll find the right girl…pero teka lang muna pala, dapat
        una sa lahat, may trabaho ka na, na i think naman, mayroon
        na…

        kumusta nga pala ang matalino mong cat, matalino pa rin ba
        hanggang ngayon?

        and the most serious question is, half japanese ka ba hikata?
        be honest ha…

        Like

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