COCAINE, CONDOM, QADDAFI


Singson Sentenced
After pleading guilty to cocaine trafficking, Ilocos Sur Rep. Ronald Singson was sentenced to 18 months in a Hong Kong prison. His father, Ilocos Sur Gov. Luis “Chavit” Singson tried but failed to stop the sentencing by seeking the help of Vice President Jejomar Binay.

Ilocos Sur Gov. Luis “Chavit” Singson told the press that his son Ronald was “a victim” of drug abuse. Sought for comment, ‘Drug Abuse’ denied Singson’s allegation and threatened to sue the governor for libel.

Congressman Ronald Singson has been convicted, sentenced and imprisoned. Everybody believes he’s guilty… except for his colleagues at the House of Representatives.

Actress Lovi Poe was in tears after the sentencing. For the next 18 months, she’ll definitely miss the man, the lover, and the free concert tickets.

Speaking of addicts…
The Sangguniang Barangay of Ayala Alabang in Muntinlupa City has passed an ordinance that includes a provision requiring doctor’s prescription (reseta) before someone could buy contraceptives like condoms… totally alarming village priests who are not used to doing it without rubber.

Barangay Ayala Alabang spokesperson Atty. Luis Sison says residents who will buy condoms from stores in other villages or cities will not be allowed to give them away or sell them in their barangay. First time offenders will face excommunication. Repeat offenders shall either be guillotined or burnt at the stake.

This just in! Pope Benedict XVI has just declared Barangay Ayala Alabang as the Little Vatican of Asia.

When he heard the news about the controversial ordinance of the Sangguniang Barangay of Ayala Alabang, Atty. Adel Tamano posted on Twitter, “That’s unconstitutional.” RH Bill proponents said, “That’s preposterous.” And Senator Lito Lapid shouted, “That’s my idea!”

Top 5 Possible Scenarios When You Buy A Condom From a Store Located at Barangay Ayala Alabang

No. 5: Ate, pagbili ng condom. >> May dala kang reseta iha? >> Wala po eh. Pero ‘wag kayong mag-alala. Doktor ang katalik ko.

No. 4: Miss, pagbilhan mo nga ako ng condom. >> ‘Asan sir ang prescription? >> Anong prescription? Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala? Ako ang kapitan sa barangay na ‘to! Prescription mo’ng mukha mo!

No. 3: Miss, condom nga. >> Naku, reseta muna. >> Ah ganun? Puwes, ‘wag na ‘wag kang magrereklamo kapag nag-motel tayo mamayang gabi!

No. 2: Miss, isang condom please. >> Sir, kailangan po ng prescription. >> Here, meron ako. >> Naku sir, kulang po ito. Dapat po specified ng doctor ang size at flavor.

And the No. 1 scenario when you buy a condom from a store located at Brgy. Ayala Alabang…

Miss, condom nga. Pakibilisan, nagmamadali ako. >> Teka lang sir, meron ba kayong reseta? >> Bakit!? Kailan pa naging sakit ang libog ko?

Nicotine Addict
The Philippine Medical Association says a person like President Aquino who is “addicted to an abused substance whether it is tobacco or illegal drugs needs professional help and is in a state of constant denial.” President Aquino said, “That’s not true.”

AFP Corruption Hearing
Mrs. Erlinda Ligot, wife of Lt. Col. Jacinto Ligot was a no-show during Thursday’s Senate hearing. Asked about the whereabouts of his wife, the former military comptroller said he totally forgot where he left her.

Lawyer Rafael Zialcita says the wife of former military comptroller Jacinto Ligot is confined at the Veteran’s Memorial Medical Center in Quezon City because of “headaches, abdominal pains, and other aches.” Official hospital records show there’s a total of eight “aches” under Mrs. Erlinda Ligot’s name.

Overseas…
Libyan President Moammar Gadhafi delivered a televised address Tuesday. The 69-year-old dictator spoke about the state of his Arab nation and vowed to stay in power despite calls for his resignation. At one point during the speech, he presented three poor Libyan boys who wrote their dreams on paper folded into boats and launched these into the Mediterranean Sea.


In a televised address Tuesday, Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi said he would never step down as president. He then enumerated his administration’s long-term goals toward achieving a Strong Republic.
——————————————
“Those who in principle oppose birth control are either incapable of arithmetic or else in favor of war, pestilence, and famine as permanent features of human life.”
~Bertrand Russell

Elsewhere
Dolce, Encore, Pharaoh and Icon mga gimikang tinukoy ng DPA ng ABS-CBN na pugad umano ng mga gumagamit ng cocaine. See exclusive interview here.

Maria Ressa: The Parody of People Power

Survey Says
Sang-ayon ba kayo sa pahayag ni Sen. Bongbong Marcos na posibleng kasing-unlad na tayo ng Singapore kung hindi napatalsik ang kanyang ama?
Tama siya! Sayang. 28.74%
Ulol! Umayos ka nga! 70.66%
Wala akong alam sa isyu. 0.6%

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Author: professionalheckler

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74 thoughts on “COCAINE, CONDOM, QADDAFI”

    1. 18 months is too short. they were desperate that it was less than 2 years so that he can get his seat back in 2013.
      now chavit will negotiate with belmonte and singson will only resign on the basis that he can run in 2013 and chavit will put up a puppet to keep the seat warm for his son.
      as manny pacquios mentor and political advisor he has plans for pacman and his son.
      decency, integrity, and honour dont feature in his vocabulary.

      Like

      1. just as i said. the so called “pambansang kamao” is actually fueled by undetectable-specially formulated “power powder” (re-engineered C17H21NO4) molded into broth cubes. That explains why pakyaw is slurping a “nilaga” everytime he goes to fight.

        Like

  1. Panalo ang “Bakit? Kelan pa naging sakit ang libog ko?”

    Hehe…

    Regarding Gadhafi, I think he’s not the President of Libya. He’s simply known as the head or the leader or the guide of the revolution. That’s the reason why he refused to ‘resign’ since, according to him, he has no official position from which to resign. He’s simply referred to as the Libyan leader by most countries.

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    1. hi senior, okay lang lahat ng spelling na nababasa mo. depende yun sa writer at country of origin ng news. ha ha ha. kumbaga, variants ang mga iyon; mga versions baga kaya no wrong spelling ‘yan. kanya-kanyang alphabet lang yan kaya nagkakaron ng var. kumbaga sa bagyo, di ga pag namuo dun sa pacifico, tisoy or tisay, pagpasok sa ating teritoryo nagiging pinoy na ang spell, at ang tawag!

      Like

      1. ha ha, si senior; apply na apply, as in si andres, pwede andrew at andrei; jose, joseph; elizabeth, isabel, isabella; ignacio, ignatius; antonio, anthony, antonius, etc. depende kung american, italian, french, spaniard o pinoy ka pa. sometimes if teacher is well-read and eager to share relative knowledge, tinuturo yan but casually; wala namang formal subject na ganyan, actually. he he.

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      2. promdi:
        parang tabingi ata ung analogy ng name variants and names ng bagyo!
        variant nga eh! ang bagyo, TOTALLY DIFFERENT names ang ginagamit, db po?
        eto po ang sample ng variant, senyor:
        si Pedro, pag nagpuntang US of A, tinatawag na Peter. Pag sa Russian naman, Piotr.
        eto pa: Greg, Gregg, Greggy, Greggie, Gregorio, Gregory, Gorio, Goryo.

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  2. dear senators
    counting all this money has given me a headache so i will not be attending your circus.
    and since you couldnt find your way out of a one way street good luck in finding the money.
    must go. have a house to buy.
    yours laughingly
    mrs ligot.
    billionaire and part time hypochondriac

    Like

  3. some memorable chavit ‘statements’

    on singson being arrested ” its not my son, he is here in mongolia with me”

    “it”s a set up”

    “he has never taken drugs”

    “he has regular drug tests – all negative”

    “pleading guilty is just a defense strategy”

    “remember, my son is the victim here”

    “i didn’t beat up my wife”

    ronald singson and congress will not do the right thing. let us hope the voters do.

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  4. @Timpaul – paso na kasi ang “corporate” account nila sa st. lukes since bumaba na si Gloria lol

    OA talaga mga opisyal ng AA, for sure ipapa restraining order yan ng mga residente..lalo na yung mga malilibog hehehe…oh by the way hindi lang condom ang kelangan ng reseta, pati PILLS, IUD, Pilikmata ng Kambing, etc.

    Like

  5. EDSA
    25 years ago there was –
    Wholesale Corruption
    Widespread poverty
    Extra judicial killings
    Nepotism and cronyism
    Government incompetence
    Political clans and trapos
    And a quiet aquino reluctantly becoming president on a groundswell of emotion, but who then missed opportunities for real change and put family interests first and protected the cojuangcos and hacienda luisita at all costs.

    25 years on and there is………

    like mother, like son
    like father, sadly not.

    Like

  6. ok, p-noy, before you ban humor, or if you want us to take you seriously, pakitanggal nga yang silly grin/ sarcastic smile/ half-open-mouth look mo. para ka kasing nakakaloko minsan eh. magkapatid nga kayo ni kris, pero sana naman mas presidential ang dating, lalo na in times of crisis/crises — which we seem to have most of the time. look more like you’re in control…. totoong on top of the situation…. decisive…. and appropriately, the leader of the land.

    ok? now smile a confident smile.

    Like

    1. observer lang, humiling ka na lang ng ibang bagay na babaguhin
      kay noynoy nungka ang kanyang ‘look’ dahil, ano na yan eh, ng
      isilang sya sa mundong ito, ganyan na talaga ang hulma/ukit ng
      kanyang mukha kaya mamamatay syang ganyan na din…

      kaya, tama si centrino, huwag ka ng umasa…

      Like

  7. Dear boy
    With singson in jail (he he), and your boyfriend in a plum job at PAGCOR (thank me later), we can now make lots of money.
    When i am president i will make you president of vice. Just keep mentioning me on every programme and in all your columns.
    Must go. P-noy has boys toys . I have toyboys.

    Yours humbly

    Kris ‘ arent i brilliant – no dont answer that, i know i am. And did you know p-noy is going to vicki belo. No i didnt say that and also….zzzzzzz’ aquino

    Like

  8. ” …Congressman Ronald Singson has been convicted, sentenced and imprisoned. Everybody believes he’s guilty… except for his colleagues at the House of Representatives.”

    Dyan tayo expert… soft with criminals and lawbreakers; we are a nation of “maawain”, or “compassionate daw!” pero translation namin dyan… “kunsintidor”. Kaya sa ratio ng crimes at lawbreakers vs convicted, di hamak na mas lamang ang una. Look at what we did to China’s verdict on 3 pinoy traffickers. Di tayo nahiyang pumapel at subukang ipabago ang verdict (as we customarily do out here!) kahit wala tayo jurisdiction sa batas nila. You think our congressmen would ever convict colleague Singson? Naku eh, takot at hiya na lang nila, noh! Vamos a ver!

    Like

    1. ronald singson website
      the page entitled accomplishments is blank. says it all really

      also this excert which defines hypocricy

      In his bill, Congressman Ronald V. Singson of the first district of Ilocos Sur cited that “dangerous drugs are one of today’s most serious social ills. The illegal drug menace is now considered public enemy number one and poses a grave threat to the nation’s survival. 2007

      Like

  9. http://www.timawa.net/forum/index.php?topic=1734.0

    Interview with ligot in 2004! which details the houses in usa and shows what a lying pair of snakes they are.

    “Erlinda ligot, wife of retired Lt. Gen. Jacinto Ligot, claims her husband is not aware of the US properties, which are under her name. She told NEWSBREAK in a telephone interview that she bought the two houses with “Filipino partners” who are US residents and that these transactions are part of their real estate business.
    However, she did not want to disclose the names of her business partners.
    Only her name appears in the property records. She added that she and her partners do not belong to a corporation.”
    extract from newsbreak interview dec 2004
    the full interview is very revealing

    Like

  10. Dear ofw’s
    Our thoughts are with you.
    Our planes are not.

    I will come over personally.
    Can you recommend a good hotel and restaurant.
    Oh, and send me a map of where libya is.

    P-noy is de- stressing in his car but once he has had a packet of cigarettes and spoken to his sisters then i am sure he will start to think about doing something. What, i dont know.

    Dont worry. Build sandcastles.

    Must go. The presidential porsche is here.

    Yours internationally

    Albert rosario. DFA

    Ps. I need a few housemaids to reflect my new status.

    Like

  11. The filipino is worth dying for.

    Some variations.

    Money is worth lying for.

    Power is worth assassinating for

    Houses are worth stealing for

    Girls are worth cheating for

    Apologies to ninoy but not to singson, cojuangco, ligot, binay

    lets hope we can find the courage for a new politics and a new philippines.
    the people deserve better than being sent abroad as ofws or staying here in poverty.

    Like

  12. Saw the interview on ANC, regarding Chavit, saying his son is also a victim of drugs and THE GOVERNMENT is not working well on stopping this drug menace. If the government is not doing its job, where is Ronald Singson working? He is also part of the government, right? So his son is really not working. X)

    Like

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