JEOPARDY!


ARE YOU FAMILIAR with Jeopardy? It’s the American quiz show with a “unique answer-and-question format.” Players are given clues in the form of answers, and they must phrase their responses in question form.

Here’s an example:
EMPLOYERS for $1200
Answer: It offers a salary of only P30,000 per month but after five years, you get to earn a total of 740 million pesos!
“What is… the AFP?” | #maytamaka! #ligot

The following were lifted from a recent episode of “Jeopardy! Riddles Edition!” where thousands of dollars were given away to a set of Filipino contestants. [Opo, merong gano’n. ‘Wag n’yo nang itanong kung saan.] Enjoy!

FARM VILLE for $1400
Answer: Mukhang tao, tunog veggie, may padulas from AFP!
“Who is… Pichay?” | #kureeeeek! #AFPslushfund

WOMEN IN GOVERNMENT for $1000
Answer: Hanap ay pruweba, gusto ay ebidensya; opposite ni Heidi Mendoza, kakampi ni Carlos F. Garcia!
“Who is… the Ombudsman?”
Please be specific.
‘Who is… Merceditas Gutierrez?” | #mismo!

“PAN”THOM for $400
Answer: Pa’no makikita itong taong ito, kung ang paghahanap ay isang Moro-moro!
“Who is… PANfilo Lacson?” | #siyananga!

RICH KIDS for $600
Answer: Hindi hari, hindi pari, luxury cars ay sari-sari.
“Who is… the President?” | #taaamah!

“J” WALKING for $800
Answer: Kuwarenta’y kuwatro lang nang maluklok sa Makati, inabot na ng setenta, kanya pa rin ang torre.
“Who is… Jejomar Binay?” | #ofcourse

THE CABINET for $1600
Answer: Tatlong ulo isang katawan, palihim na nagkakagatan.
“What is… the Presidential Communications Group?” | #aminin!

PAPA “P” for $200
Answer: Ginaya si Bruce Lee, naging Justin Bieber, Lito Camo-clone forever.
“Who is… Pacquiao?” | #unasalahatsalamatsapanginuunsasupurta #akoNaNga!

KATA-QUOTE for $400
Answer: “Sa ikauunlad ng bayan, malaking populasyon ang kailangan!”
“What is… the CBCP?” | #amen!

PBA for $1600
Answer: Hindi liga, hindi basketball, sa Ombudsman dala’y trouble.
“What is… plea bargain agreement.” | #yunNa!

BAD WORDS for $500
Answer: Nang magalit si Mar sa ChaCha, umalingawngaw ito sa Ayala.
“What is… ‘Puuuut*ng-i*a! Ano ba ‘to!” | #patayTAYOjan

“G” SPOT for $800
Answer: Nang mawala ang immunity bilang pangulo, ginamit na pananggalang mga ka-distrito!
“Who… is Gloria?” | #whoelse?!

POWERFUL for $300
Answer: Nakalusot sa NAIA dala niyang droga. How did that happen? Nagtaka ka pa!
“Who is… Cong. Ronald Singson?” | #true!

TOURISTS for $1400
Answer: Travel expenses ay lumolobo, nasa selda man ang sundalo.
“Who is… Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV in detention?” | #taaama!

AND FINALLY…
PLASTICS for $100
Answer: Naglaho ang reaksyon sa mukha ni Asuncion dahil kay Vicki Belo at sa kanyang injection.
“Who are… Gretchen Barretto, and other celebrities na nasobrahan sa Botox?” | #ouch!

ODD TALENTS for $1600
Answer: Horror man o drama, comedy o aksyon, consistent ang pagganap, iisa’ng emosyon!
‘Who is… Kris Aquino?” | #Pilipinas,maytamaka!
———————————-
“There are no foolish questions, and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.”
~Charles Proteus Steinmetz

Reposting my tweet from last night…
“Dear Mr. Chinese President: Kung gusto po ninyo, ‘yong tatlong Pinoy na nasa death row, papalitan namin ng tatlong heneral plus eight houses in the US. Deal?”

At nagreply daw ang Chinese President: “Kayo gusto palit tatlo Pinoys with tatlo generals plus 8 houses? Aglee ako d’yan pero sa isa kondisyon: puwede ba sama Mrs Ligot? S’ya fascinating! S’ya husay real estate.”


Survey Says
Sang-ayon ka bang dapat ihimlay sa Libingan ng mga Bayani ang bangkay ni dating pangulong Ferdinand Marcos?
Oo, panahon na! 28.76%
Hindi! Hindi siya bayani! 58.19%
Pag-iisipan ko pa. 13.05%

Elsewhere
Asian Wall Street Journal: Single Asian President Seeks Soul Mate for Very Public Romance

Personal
From my Palanca Award-winning friend Layeta Bucoy (ikaw na!):
Nicolas Pichay’s “3-N-1/ 10-10-10:Writing-on-Site Workshop for Stage, TV, and Film
This workshop has limited available slots. Interested parties are encouraged to immediately submit a letter of intent to marcelohdelpilar@yahoo.com (Re: 3-N-1/ 10-10-10). Only for purposes of diagnostics, each participant is encouraged to submit with the letter a soft copy of a previously written stage, tv or film script (not necessarily produced). For inquiries: 7824454.

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Have a great weekend! Go West! #NBA All Stars

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

67 thoughts on “JEOPARDY!”

  2. The AWSJ article describing PNoy as “studious” and comparing the Aquinos with the Kennedys is hilarious. The closest similarity is their questionable source of wealth, but definitely the Kennedys are far more intellectual, good-looking and individually accomplished than the Aquinos.

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  5. when they come up with the celebrity version of jeopardy some candidates for the philippines dream team and their specialist subjects

    kris aquino – human relations
    singson – crime and punishment
    ochoa – wines of the world
    mai mislang – men of the world
    ligot – banking and finance
    pacman – international politics
    puno – shooting the breeze
    aquino – to be discovered
    caradang – communication studies

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  9. dear mr president
    re your advert
    i am interested. i have experience in italy.
    silvio can provide references. maybe you have met him.
    your sisters are no problem.
    as kris would say – if the price is right.
    please send presidential plane – champagne and caviar. no jollibee or fried rat.
    must go. silvios lawyers are calling
    yours delectably
    ruby

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  12. would you consider a man who was a war hero and leader of a country but who later in life becomes a serial killer still worthy of being called and a hero?

    mr. emil jurado thinks so: “All things considered, however, Marcos deserves to be buried at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. Despite of what some people think of him, he was a true soldier, a war hero, and above all, a former President. Nothing can change that. As such, he deserves the rightful burial of his remains, long encrypted in an air-conditioned placed as a tourist attraction in Batac, Ilocos Norte.” http://www.manilastandardtoday.com/insideOpinion.htm?f=2011/february/18/emiljurado.isx&d=2011/february/18

    mr. ramon tulfo thinks so too: ”
    No matter the bad things Marcos supposedly did during the latter part of his life, the fact remains that he was a war hero.” http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/metro/view/20110216-320664/Bury-FM-at-Libingan-ng-mga-Bayani

    maybe they too believe adolf hitler or saddam hussein are heroes.

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    1. maybe we need to put up version two of “libingan ng mga bayani”; how about, “libingan ng mga bayani sana”? If it’s not possible, nay, weird, really, then let it be where it is now… sa batac, as a tourist attraction. pwedeng tawagin ang lugar na “Museo ng mga Sana’y Naging Bayani.” I’m sure marami pa tayong mailalagak dyan, bukod kay Da Apo. Indeed, one hell of a museum for the heroes that never were!

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    1. Teka…. teka lang ha?

      Ito bang usaping ito eh makakatulong ba naman sa pang araw araw na buhay ng mga Pinoys?

      Kung ilibing ba si Marcos at Ampatuan sa Libingan ng mga Bayani eh … mababawasan ba ang trapik sa EDSA?

      Makakatulong ba yang usaping yan para matigil ang mga carjacking (eh sa di daw tama ang carnapping eh) sa Kamaynilaan?

      Pag inilibing ba ng buhay si Ampatuan…..eh titigil na si Kris Aquino sa katitili sa mga pelikula nya?

      Kay dami daming dapat pagtuunan ng pansin ng gobyerno, eh kung bakit yung mga shuktay pa man din ang pinagdedebatehan!

      Hmmmmp!

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  24. sorry for the ignorance at 60 plus, just asking, anybody please…

    aren’t ALL military men entitled to a place in libingan ng mga bayani?

    even if they died as just an ordinary soldier? i mean, even without
    having gone to ‘war’?

    where does heroism comes in in this case?

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  28. Pingback: Tweets that mention JEOPARDY! « The Professional Heckler -- Topsy.com

  29. Former president Marcos should not be buried at the Libingan ng mga Bayani as he is not a Hero. Likewise, Gen. Angelo Reyes is also not a hero as he is also being accused of enriching himself while he is the chief of staff and defense secretary under the GMA administration,

    Take note that both of them are accused of doing wrong while in office. So why single out Marcos and allowed Reyes to be honored as Hero?

    Maybe next time we need to review and cleanse our conscience before making a harsh decision that would affect the whole citizenry of our country.

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    1. I can tell…..talaga ngang apektado ka ‘Teh, no? Pati sa conscience mo, eh di na keri ang usaping ito, no?

      Juicemio! Saan man sila ilibing…. KEBS, no? Ded na sina lolo! Mas dapat pinagtutuunan ng pansin ng gavernment yung mga buhay pang Pinoys!

      sabi ng mga arabo….. SAH?

      Like

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