Happy Birthday!
On February 8, President Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III is turning a year older… or as his government would call it “age hike.”

This coming week, President Aquino will celebrate his 51st birthday. Rumor has it that Malacañang is preparing a carnival-themed birthday bash for him. In fact, he can’t wait to test-drive a bumper car.

President Aquino is celebrating his 51st birthday on February 8. There will be singing, dancing, and exciting games. Members of Balay and Samar groups will play tug of war.

President Aquino will turn 51 on February 8. To mark his birthday, the President will smoke 51 candles.

The President’s birth date is February 8, 1960. He was born under the sign… “Smoking Area.”

Just so you know, on February 8, both Communist leader Jose Maria Sison and President Noynoy Aquino will celebrate their birthday. So Feb. 8 will be the birthday of two prominent Filipinos: an old man who has not accomplished anything significant for the country, and Jose Maria Sison.

What do CPP-NPA founder Jose Maria Sison and the late American actor James Dean have in common? Answer: They share the same birthday – February 8, and they’re both rebels without a cause.

President Aquino was born Feb. 8 while his sister Kris was born on Feb. 14. On Times Street, following tradition, the whole family will sing “Happy Birthday” to Noynoy first, and then, scream another “Happy Birthday” to Kris.

Chaos in Egypt
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said he would not seek reelection when his term expires, and vowed to step down in September. Egyptians, however refused to believe him mainly because he made the promise last Tuesday, the death anniversary of their national hero.

Despite the massive protests in Cairo’s Tahrir Square, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has refused to step down. Egyptians are getting frustrated. If only to force Mubarak to resign, they are willing hold protest rallies at Edsa.

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak says he is not running again for president when his term expires in September. However, he is seeking a seat in Congress.

Mubarak’s Cabinet officially resigned last Saturday morning, but the embattled president himself continues to hold power. The resigned cabinet members then formed a group called Hyatt-Cairo 10.

As thousands of Egyptians rally for his ouster, President Hosni Mubarak decided to name a vice president, his possible replacement. But observers predict Mubarak will probably finish his term… because his chosen VP was a former newsreader.

Amid the massive street protests, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak continues to cling to power. Of course, he’d be out of office by now if his military chief were Angelo Reyes.

In Washington DC, US President Barack Obama said, “The future of Egypt will be determined by its people.” And then followed it with, “Joooooke!”

The Fugitive
The Court of Appeals has dismissed the murder charges filed against Sen. Panfilo Lacson over the twin killings of publicist Bubby Dacer and his driver in 2000. Lacson is reportedly ecstatic. He’s been waiting for this all his life. You know, an opportunity to ‘come out.’

The Court of Appeals has junked the murder charges filed against Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The appellate court said there was no probable cause to implicate Lacson in the twin murders, or as Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez would probably insist, “Mahina ang ebidensya.”

This just in: Senator Panfilo Lacson released a statement (through email) blasting the Department of Justice for saying that the CA’s dismissal of the case didn’t nullify the arrest warrant issued against him. But Justice Secretary Leila De Lima is questioning the veracity of the message because the email address used by the sender was wagkangmawawalasabirthdaypartykosafebruary8@malacañ

Less Crime
Prof. Charlie Chao, a feng shui expert says there will be less incidence of crime in the country in the year of the metal rabbit… unless of course Raymond Dominguez is allowed to post bail for the 20th time.

Most Handsome
According to Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV is the most handsome senator today. That was made possible partly by the non-reelection of Senator Jamby Madrigal.

If ever he’ll do a movie, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV wants to be paired with actress Gretchen Barretto. When Gretchen heard this, she laughed so hard, Botox squirted out of her face.

New Show
ABS-CBN has a new program. Replacing “Pilipinas Win na Win” starting Feb. 12 is the noontime show called “Happy, Yipee, Yehey!” a.k.a. “Wowowee: Part 3.”
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
~Jennifer Yane

You Have Spoken!
Ano ang dapat maging sanction ng Kamara kay Cong. Ronald Singson?
– Censure 1.16%
– Suspension 1.39%
– Expulsion 97.45%

Newsbreak: The ‘Fashionista’ and his dad

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Have a great weekend! Take care ‘coz the care bears care. And I am corny. #teamlakers #beattheheat

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

50 thoughts on “BIRTHDAY BOY”

  1. The Hyatt 10 must have set up a an Egyptian branch of Black and White Movement by now to secure juicy positions in the new government. Hope Mubarak’s replacement will be intelligent, strong and capable for the sake of the Filipinos there who do not have that kind of leader at home


  2. ei mr. TPH, the boston sucks logo owner and proud publisher..
    bakit walang update sa lakers?
    is it because of the 3 game losing streak including the “heartbreaking” loss to the spurs yesterday? ^^

    By the way, have you seen the 51 pts of LBJ vs. D12’s team? scary…


    Go Celtics!


  3. p-noy’s birthday list –
    A blow up doll
    A hair transplant
    A new cabinet
    A course in public speaking
    Someone to share my hot dog
    A phone call from puno
    A day when the press dont ask me who paid for my cars.
    Another award for anything
    For cojuangco to stop telling me what to do


    1. but i wonder why in previous blogs my comment was deleted by TPH. it was just a comment on the reason why the police agents failed to find the senator after raiding some ‘safe houses’. it was just a comment that the authorities failed to find the senator because they did not look for him in the closet.


  4. handsomeness lies on the eyes of the beholder, i therefore
    declare that zubiri is the handsomest of them all..

    nakaka add then sa pagiging pangit ng tao ang sobrang
    kayabangan, at yan ngayon ang inaasta ni trillanes, akala
    kung sino na siya..

    hmmmpp, pa borrow etchos ha, sa hmmmpp ba…


  5. yun bang toy for the big boy ang kanyang regalo sa sarili? mga ksp lang ang gumagawa nyan. kulang pa ba yung binoto siya ng milyon-milyong pinoy? para namang pinamukha pa niya na “ÿour votes can’t buy me happiness” kaya bumili ako ng kaligayahan ko.

    but, anyway, happy birthday, boy president…


  6. 51 wasted years of privilege and opportunity with no achievements.
    thats the idle rich for you.
    too lazy to work.
    too stupid for anyone to employ them.
    too arrogant to dirty their hands.
    too self obsessed to help the less fortunate.
    too self interested to think or worry what the peasants think anyway.
    too naive to have opinions, just what others tell them to do.
    happy birthday. – i would give a copy of economics for dummies.
    my 1st year students would wipe the floor with p-noy on micro, macro or keynesian economics. thats a 1st world
    university not 3rd world buy a degree
    and dont bother to turn up.
    investors tell me they cannot get any idea of economic policy or strategy. surprise, surprise.


    1. grabe ka naman nona. pati ba naman first twenty years of pnot’s life gusto mo nang siyang pagtrabahuin. just like other human being, dumadaan din sa yan sa pagiging infant, toddler, preschooler, preteen, etc., etc.

      in short, exaggerated ka. don’t let your anger overpower your logical thinking. ayan tuloy lumalabas na maldita ka. nahahalata na tuloy na kulang ka sa common sense.


  7. hahahaha. buhay pa rin ang spirito ni PGMA sa mga blog mo idol ah. hehehe. ayus galing mo talga…panalo rin yung “Wowowee : Part 3” hehehe. sabi nga ni harold geronimo sa tweet nya ang acronym daw nung new show HAYY, sana nga magkabuhay kasi pag hindi baka ilang uwan lang 12nn na ulit timeslot ng SHOWTIME. hehehe..sana wag na nila gayahin yung format ng wowowee kasi hindi talga sila magkiclick, i suggest nga sa kanila ang titile na lang Fun Tanghali eh, tas yung format parang Magandang Tanghali Bayan nila dati….


  8. Three men were discussing their how often they have sex.
    The first man very glum says once a month, the second man with a grin says once a week, and the third man with a big smile says once a year.
    Why are you so happy about that asks the other two.
    Because today is my birthday and i have a fast car ready, cold champagne waiting, and a hot woman willing.
    We can all dream on our birthday.


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