LOVI AND OTHER DRUGS


Guilty!
ILOCOS SUR Rep. Ronald Singson has pleaded guilty to a drug offense in Hong Kong. He also admitted to being addicted to cocaine. His father, Ilocos Sur Governor Chavit Singson was so upset he accused Ronald of setting his own self up.

Since 2004
Embattled Ilocos Sur Representative Ronald Singson revealed he’s been using cocaine since 2004, and consumed three to five grams of the drug per day. At one point, he got so hooked to coke he almost changed his name to Ronald Singhot.

Nabbed!
When customs police in Hong Kong arrested Cong. Ronald Singson on July 11, 2010, cocaine was found in his underpants. The ‘Coke’ was an inch away from the ‘straw.’

Girlfriend
Ilocos Sur representative, and concert promoter Ronald Singson blamed his break up last year with girlfriend Lovi Poe for his drug use. The actress broke up with him when she found out that half of Ronald’s purported ‘bulge’ was just cocaine.

Resign!
Members of the House of Representatives have called on Cong. Ronald Singson to resign. But the beleaguered Ilocos Sur representative was unfazed. Ousted or not from Congress, he’ll never run out of sessions. #ikawna!

Shocked
Cong. Ronald Singson pleaded guilty to drug trafficking. The 42-year-old solon and concert promoter also confessed to being addicted to cocaine… shocking his father, Governor Chavit Singson who, at the time, had yet to recover from the shock of hearing Piolo Pascual admitting on TV that he and KC Concepcion were in a relationship.

Rabusa & Karma
Have you been following the news on retired Lieutenant Colonel George Rabusa? Interviewed by Radyo Inquirer, Rabusa said he could be suffering from “bad karma” for pocketing millions of pesos from military funds. According to Rabusa, he recently had a stroke, his wife’s got cancer, he lost his mayoral bid in the Visayas, and he’s nearing bankruptcy. One time, Rabusa confessed, he got so depressed he almost produced a concert, and snorted cocaine.

Fare Hike
After approving the fare rate hike in the MRT, LRT, and taxicabs two weeks ago, the government has approved this week the provisional fare hike in jeepney ride. Next week, the government is expected to rule in favor of a petition seeking higher ride rates at Enchanted Kingdom and Star City. #sige!itaasn’yonanglahat!

I Crush You!
In Tuesday’s Lower House hearing on the alleged corruption in the Armed Forces, Ilocos Norte Rep. Rodolfo Fariñas revealed he had a crush on Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez way back in college. Stunned but otherwise amused by the revelation, Gutierrez quipped, “Si ikaw talaga! Masyado mong ‘pinapahiya si ako!”

Modernong Kahulugan ng Ilang Salita o Parirala

Pasalubong: Bonus sa trabahong hindi pa nagagawa
Halimbawang pangungusap: “Uy, General, mainit na pagbati sa inyong appointment! Bago po kayo magsimula sa inyong trabaho, heto po ang sampung milyong pisong pasalubong. Enjoy!”

Pabaon: Bonus sa trabahong walang katiyakan kung nagawa
Halimbawang pangungusap: “Uy, General, maraming salamat po sa inyong paglilingkod sa bayan. Heto po ang limampung milyong pisong pabaon. Pa-burger ka naman! Burger! Burger!”

Set up: Kapag ‘di mo matanggap na adik ang iyong anak
Halimbawang pangungusap: “’Tang-i*a kasi ‘yong kasama niya eh. ‘Nilaglag ang anak ko. ‘Ayun, na-set up kaya inaresto. Ukininam!”

Plea bargain agreement: Ibang katawagan sa “Why not coconut?! Malay mo makalusot!”
Halimbawang pangungusap: “Ombudsman, baka naman magawan natin ng paraan ‘tong kaso ko. Ibabalik ko ang one-third ng ninakaw ko pero dapat malinaw ang plea bargain agreement natin. Kailangang abswelto ang aking asawa’t mga anak na kasing-kakapal ko ang mukha.”

You’ve Got Jail
Indonesian pop star Nazril “Ariel” Irham was sentenced to three-and-a-half years in prison for videotaping his sexual activities with different women. In fairness to Irham, he had a good lawyer during the trial. What he lacked however was a filthy rich, plastic surgery-enhanced cougar financier.
—————————–
“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”
~Keith Richards

Survey Says
Uy, malapit na ang Valentine’s Day. Kumusta naman?
– Happiness! 30%
– Kumusta mong mukha mo! 54.07%
– Getting there. I am not going to elaborate. Baka mausog. 15.93%

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Today is February 1, 2011… let’s spread  peace and love (not just legs)!
#teamlakers #beattheheat

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

80 thoughts on “LOVI AND OTHER DRUGS”

  1. brilliant.
    and like singson and rabusa i have so many problems that i hope senior60 will forgive me for my views, and that hikalamoto will accept that i cannot help being a genius. a cross i carry.
    and the bulge in my pants is real – no padding and no drugs.
    happy days are here again.

    Like

  2. That’s how it is, in Indonesia, in Hongkong, and in other countries whose name is not the Philippines. You don’t have to count ages to try a case and convict the guilty if he is. No frills; no haggles of promised rose gardens, cash falls, or plea bargains… Here, most cases, especially the high-profile ones, tried and seen out sooner than expected are more likely either dismissed for “lack of merit”, or simply acquit the culprit whose guilt failed to level up “beyond reasonable doubt!.”

    Like

  3. being a drug dealer is bad enough but the most despicable point is that his drugs are being paid for by taxpayers who can hardly afford to feed their children and he whines like a little boy because he cannot take the pressure of being a congressman, the demands of his girlfriend, his failing business, and is under the care of a psychiatrist and going to rehab.
    wow, talk about playing the victim card.
    amd when he is back here he will be trying to say it was just a legal strategy.
    i would shove all 26.1 grammes in a place where the sun dont shine.
    he learnt about lies deceit and perjury from a master. like father like son

    Like

    1. Naalala kong bigla si Ma. Theresa Carlson(?)…did I get her name right? Kawawa naman the way she died. But her “Si ako, si ikaw was really cute and original. Siguro that was her when she was new in using our vernacular. The scriptwriter caught on the phrase…nice…Memory lane…pero naawa ako talaga sa treatment ni Farinas sa kanya.

      Like

      1. may naalaala din ako…

        ang tumatak sa isip ko kung hindi ako nagkakamali ha
        hindi si theresa makaalisalis sa poder ni farinas ay dahil
        na rin sa kanilang mga anak na hindi sasama sa kanya,
        wise na din mga bata dahil mapera kasi si farinas…

        at paano nga ba namatay si theresa? parang nahulog yata
        sa kanilang bahay…

        Like

  4. title pa lang, panalo na!! you’re so witty, switty! lol

    dagdag mo pa ung Ronald Singhot! ahahay!

    on a serious note: etong si Rabusa, anagram ng BASURA!
    eh halata namang saving his own ass lang ang mokong.
    ang mga ganitong tao ang nakakagigil.

    on a more serious (kuno) note: bakit parang may alam ka tungkol kay fafa piolo, PH?

    on a very serious note: may kopya na kaya sa Quiapo ng video ni Nazril (Ariel)? Curious lang me. Curious lang me daw o! ahihihi!

    kung wala, eto na lang kayang si anon, may video din kaya ito? mukhang pinagmamayabang ang bulge daw nya. sabi ng psych prof namin noon, jutay daw ang mga ganito! aminin!!

    Like

  5. Social and moral impact of a “Durugista” Congressman:

    1. Worker – Nagpapakamatay sa trabaho para masustentuhan ang pamilya. Nagbabayad ng tax kahit hindi kagustuhan at ang tax ay napupunta para sustentuhan ang droga ng congressman.

    2. OFW’s – Piniling magtrabaho sa ibang bansa, iniwanan ang pamilya kapalit ng malaking sahod. Pinipilit itaas ang integridad ng mga pinoy para lamang sirain at babuyin ng isang durugistang congressman.

    3. Estudyante – Ang iba ay naniniwala pa sa pagbabago. Ang iba ang tumitira na ng droga para maging congressman.

    4. Church and other religious groups – No comment.

    5. Lovi Poe – Ang dahilan para maging durugista ang isang congressman

    Sabi ni Singhot, this is our nation’s battle daw. magso-sorry na lang daw sya sa taong bayan pag uwi nya. Sino ba naman tayo para hindi magpatawad diba? Kawawa naman sya. Sana… HE DIE BURNING IN HELL!!! =)

    Like

  6. grabe n tlga ang kabulukan s gobyerno ng pinas. noong humingi ng reinstatement ung pulis na nang-hostage s quirino grandstand, kahit pabalat-bunga hindi pinagbigyan, hayun pinaulanan ng bala at maso.

    ngayon nman general na nagnakaw ng milyung-milyong pera ng bayan, kakuntsaba ang “asawa’t mga anak na magka-kasingkakapal ang mga mukha” (TPH) isang departmento ng ombudsman, in one voice, ipinagtatanggol ang mga mandarambong.

    kungdi lng tlga nakaka-miss ang mga family at kamag-anak d2 n lng s abroad tumira.

    Like

      1. uuyyy etchos, i whisper ko lang ha at baka marinig ako
        ni mister heckler ma censor na naman…

        tanong mo kasi kung na gets ko ba ang meaning ng NGA sa
        hindi nga, kaya nagbigay ako ng example, sobrang katatawanan
        ang interpretation ko na ako mismo on the verge of ma ihi na
        kaya sabi ko, mag cr muna ako, yun na, na censor na….

        ang pinaka wish ko lang ngayon aside from wishing noynoy
        advance happy birthday ay ang mabasa mo ito, yun lang …

        Like

      2. Ayyyy!

        kaya siguro na-censor yung comment mo kasi ikaw na mismo ang nagsasabing sobrang katatawanan yung example mo.

        Binuhat mo na yung sarili mong bangko, pati ba naman yung amin, bubuhatin mo rin? Ano ka, Akyat Bahay?

        Wag po! Wag po!

        At paano ka naman nakakasiguro na tatawa din kami sa example na binigay mo, aber? Just asking.

        Like

  7. bakit ba kung hindi nahuli ng FBI o ng Hongkong police e patuloy ang pagpapanhik-panaog sa bansa nating sinisinta ang mga mandarambong na ini? Tanong lang ng isang nagbabayad ng buwis, permits, garbage fees, LTO permits, tollways, VAT, atbp araw-araw, taon-taon maski magdildil ng asin para lang hindi magbayad ng fines at penalty kapag late makabayad…

    Like

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