BLASTED


CRITICIZED FOR IGNORING travel advisories issued by at least six countries last November, President Aquino said those advisories quoted specific threats on a mall.Dear Terrorists: Next time, kung aatake kayo, umatake kayo sa pinagbantaan n’yong lugar, okay? Kung mall, mall! Huwag n’yong lituhin ang aming pangulo.”

Reacting to criticisms that the government ignored travel advisories issued by at least six foreign governments last year, President Aquino said those warnings had no basis, and specifically quoted an imminent attack on a mall. “Dear Foreign Governments: Next time, kung maglalabas kayo ng travel advisory, puwede ba isama n’yo na pati bus, train, at iba pang PUVs dito sa Pilipinas? Ayan tuloy, nasisi pa kayo.”

On Wednesday, President Aquino reiterated that last year’s travel advisories issued by at least six countries had no basis and insisted that the warning was about a possible terror attack on a mall, and not on a bus. “Dear Bus: Next time na may banta sa ‘yo ng terorismo, magsalita ka okay? At ikaw naman mall, por diyos por santo naman, safe ka na pala, ‘di ka man lang nagsabi sa gobyerno!”


According to President Aquino, the government is not pointing yet to any particular individual or group as being behind the bombing of a passenger bus in Makati City last Tuesday. Therefore, you’re not off the hook yet, GMA!

DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo revealed that authorities were looking at three angles in the bombing of a passenger bus in Makati City. At press time though, the police have yet to determine the right angle.

According to Local Government Secretary Jesse Robredo, police are eyeing three angles in the bombing of a bus in Makati City last Tuesday: terrorism, destabilization and diversionary tactic. And that’s just half of the information gathered by the DILG. The other half will be revealed soon by Undersecretary Rico E. Puno.


Chief Supt. Jose de los Santos, head of the special task force investigating the bombing of a bus in Makati City says his men have finished the cartographic sketches of the two suspects. He promised to release the sketches Thursday. Promise huh? Baka drawing lang ‘yan.

Meanwhile, the Philippine National Police reported a 41-percent decrease in criminal activities in the country. In fairness, hindi halata.
———————————
“Every crime is born of necessity. If you want less crime, you must change the conditions. Poverty makes crime. Want, rags, crusts, misfortune – all these awake the wild beast in man, and finally he takes, and takes contrary to law, and becomes a criminal.”
~Robert Ingersoll, A Lay Sermon

Father & Son
Noon:

Ngayon:

Elsewhere
Maria Ressa: Jan. 25 Manila bus bombing – Who did it?

Newsbreak: 10 stories — and our troubles after

Newsbreak: Here’s a list of Gen. Garcia’s ‘sins’

Saturday Night Life
Last January 22, we played another game on Twitter. The topic: Song titles to describe famous Filipinos. Here are some of the entries that were tweeted and RTd. Enjoy!

1: From @bochokoi – Exec. Sec. Jojo Ochoa: Hari ng Sablay
2: From @mas10ph – President Aquino: All By Myself
3: From @atotibonjing – ex-President GMA: Sana Maulit Muli
4: From @dexdixidexy – Shalani Soledad and President Aquino: Bad Romance
5: From @princejayr – Mai Mislang: I Started a Joke
6: From @iamjustinjay – DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo: Hanging By A Moment
7: From @brymcasa – Ellen Lising: Thriller
8: From @iamjustinjay – ex-Sen. Mar Roxas: Kung Ako Na Lang Sana
9: From @Kent_Ryan029 – ex-Sen. Tessie Aquino-Oreta: Just Dance
10: From @breakawayjay – ex-Maj. General Carlos F. Garcia: Billionaire
11: From @bochokoi – ex-Sen. Jamby Madrigal: Babae Po Ako
12: From @breakawayjay – Sen. Ping Lacson: Already Gone
13: From @ericus – Exec. Sec. Jojo Ochoa: Laklak
14: From @Lainezism – Atty. Sixto Brillantes: Kahit Maputi na ang Buhok Ko
15: From @cookiecaliao – PNoy and his women: Isang Linggong Pag-ibig
16: From @IMGoryo – DILG Usec. Puno + Jojo Ochoa: The Man Who Can’t Be Moved
17: From @kaka25yehey – PGMA: All The Small Things
18: From @kaka25yehey – ex-Maj. Gen. Garcia: Almost Paradise
19: From @ylanna1925 – GMA: I’ve Had The Time Of My Life
20: From @knightkira – ex-PresGMA – Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word
21: From @princejayr – Mkti City Mayor Junjun Binay & Kris: Ebony and Ivory
22: From @iamvixen_1218 – Jake Joson: Walking After You (si Jake Joson ang Pambansang Anino)
23: From @ylanna1925 – Shaina and John Llyod: Stuck on You
24: From @jayspogi – President Aquino: Can’t Buy Me Love
25: From @tweetearl – Manny Villar and the Presidency: If I Had You
26: From @iamDanyel – Samar & Balay Groups: Invisible War
27: From @chaestra – AVE Partylist Rep. Eulogio Magsaysay: Rude Boy (Rihanna)
28: From @jmreyes816 – ex-Senators Maceda and Osmeña: I’m Coming Out
29: From @botchangbalut – Alvin Elchico of ABS-CBN News: Gasolina
30: From @markycortez – Lauro Vizconde: Waiting in Vain
31: From a journalist who requested anonymity – Vicki Belo/Ellen Lising/Madame Auring/Jinkee Pacquiao: Am I the Same Girl
32: From @krephel – Ellen Lising: Bring me to Life
33; From @copochax – Senator Enrile: 100 years
34: From @IMGoryo – Ted Failon & Gretchen Fulido: Tukso
35: From @mas10ph – Madam Auring: The Ghost in You
36; From @andredashpaul – Sen. Ping Lacson: Somewhere Out There
37: From @marmieliquigan – Joel Cruz: Smells Like Teen Spirit
38: From another journalist who requested anonymity – Mar Roxas, Korina Sanchez and Malacañang: Impossible Dream
39: From @Ro_nnie – Bro. Mike Velarde:Umbrella
40: From @Harr1etTheSpy – Senator Enrile: Barely Breathing
41: From @pilyosopo – Senator Lito Lapid: Nothin’ on You (by B.O.B.)
42: From another anonymous journalist: President Aquino’s Cabinet: Estudyante Blues
43: From @gianjuliano – Jamby Madrigal: Man in the Mirror
44: From @ericus – Sen. Trillanes and the freed rebel soldiers – Who Let the Dogs Out
45: From @iamjustinjay – DOT Usec Romano upon his resignation – Nilunok Kong Lahat
46: From @marielitams – Corrupt MMDA traffic enforcers – Ilagay Mo Kid (Hagibis)
47: From @annabanana168 – ex-PGMA: Don’t Stop ’til You get Enough
48: From a prominent person who requested anonymity PNoy and his Porsche: Only Hope
49: From @belfrans – President Aquino: Alone
50: From @bethangsioco – President Aquino: Ang Boyfriend Kong Baduy
51: From @ericus – Sharon Cuneta: Hips Don’t Lie
52: From @scuzzzy – President Aquino:Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman
53: From @scuzzzy – Donald Tsang to PNoy: Answer The Phone
54: From @pinoyoragon – DOJ on Lacson: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
55: From @mikay_michelle – Steeeeeeeeve Dailisan of GMA News: Longer
56: From @martian09 – Sharon Cuneta: Bigger Than My Body

If you want to join our game, just log on to Twitter between 9:30 and 11:30PM every Saturday. No need to register. Just follow me here.

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Enjoy the rest of the week. Doble ingat! #teamlakers #beattheheat

Patawa!
Thanks to Chico of RX93.1 for the idea. Translate ‘molecule enraged’ to Filipino using Google Translate. Go! Matatawa ka, pramis!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

121 thoughts on “BLASTED”

    1. that description could also apply to any other month unfortunately.
      we are hardly moving forward and now that p-noy has sidelined freedom of info bill corrupt politicians and criminals will continue their despicable ways.
      so much for election promises. they are going down like 10 pins.

      Like

    2. how about a calendar for next year with all these pics and gruesome excenas documented for the month of January 2011, and so on… may be we can make a collage per page per month … do we expect a lot more of this kind? oh my! that will have been the weirdest calendar of all time! and the height of filipino mindset in limbo! ayaw ng DOT ng ganyan!!!

      Like

      1. Until now the Palace has not made public the Porsche’s Deed of Sale and the documents for the loan PNoy supposedly took to buy it amid insistent public demand. Private appraiser reportedly valued the 2010 model at 15M. Let us see how far this government will uphold transparency and honesty on this issue— virtues which it loudly brandished during the campaign

        Like

    3. paul and anon,

      if i were a foreigner who happened to be reading your
      comments, i would think that the philippines is in havoc,
      which is farthest from the truth, compared to what is
      happening all over the world, ours is nothing, its just that,
      filipinos are fond of imitating, and that’s what our insane
      citizens are doing..

      do you know that by writing such comments, in effect
      you are adding wrinkles to your handsome faces?

      cooool down men, you are not doing our country any
      good..

      and if i may remind you, mister hecklers’ TPH is a humor
      site, release your heavy feelings somewhere, slight ones
      i think will be ok…

      hahaha napa pure english tuloy ako, kasi sila paul at anon
      never kong nakitaan ng kahit taglish man lang, kaya baka
      mahirapan sila pag-intindi, ang ikinabahala ko lang, baka
      lalo silang na confuse sa mga sinabi ko in pure english nga,
      ah bahala sila sa buhay nila…

      Like

      1. Based on the number of comments posted in this blog one can see that these are part of its beauty. The diversity of opinions, liveliness of the interaction usually within the bounds of civility and mix personalities have blended into rich buffet of informations and perspectives one cannot find in other blogs. The credit goes to the freedom of expression afforded by the blogger. But like any buffet, just skip a particular dish if you do not like it. But do not tell the chef to stop serving it because that will be assuming that everybody has uniform taste and one’s personal judgement should be taken as collective judgement. Just as there is a freedom to write, there is also the freedom to read In this blog. Just exercise that freedom responsibly and we will all be fine.

        Like

      2. I lost a Journalist friend in a previous bomb blast so this weeks event hasnt made me laugh too much.
        I also believe that freedom of speech is an essential pillar of democracy.
        I doubt you are aware that the philippines ranks 156th out of 165 countries on the world press freedom ranking.
        Excellent blogs like this are a welcome change and helps to move the process forward, and unfortunately are all too rare which reflects the lack of meaningful debate within the country.
        The vehicle is humour but the subject and message of the blog always pertinent.
        If you try to censor others that you dont agree with then you dont understand social media, democracy or freedom of speech and just how much this country needs diversity of ideas and opinion.
        No more brainwashed sheep.
        You always need to challenge those with more power and privilege than you, and help those with less. this blog does both in different ways.
        Keep laughing, and open minded. Or start your own blog and then you can censor to your hearts delight.
        Normal humour will be resumed next week.

        Like

      3. Please do not worry about the foreigners because they do not live here. Worry about the Filipinos. Besides being critical of our officials does mean that we are the same to our country or our people. We are in fact criticizing our leaders because we believe that our country and people deserve much more. And if you think we are too critical, please read the opinions and comments on Bush (in US newspapers) and GMA (in PHL newspaper) during their second terms. Currently, there are also fiercely critical opinions and comments on Sarkozy in French newspapers. But I do not think the French are trying to destroy France or the world’s opinion of France shifted to the negative because of these. It is still the most visited country in the world

        Like

    4. paul and anon

      and so, what do you intend to achieve with all your gripings
      here? why not look for the proper venue instead to air your
      concerns? or else, pray hard that noynoy and company still
      have the luxury of time to read this blog…

      anyway, if we the ordinary citizens are dying to see everything
      good for our country, do you think noynoy is not? just be patient
      people ok?

      laugh anon? since day 1 i haven’t seen you and paul even
      smiling, you were too busy doing your bitter monologues that
      you have forgotten to enjoy this humor blog…

      Like

      1. hey! parehas tayong KAPUSO Tito Senior60! this only proves that GMA7 is really a credible network…Kudos to Pres. Gozon, Duavit, Jimenez and the networks’ assets: Mike (excuse me po) Enriquez, Mel Tiangco, Jessica Soho, Vicky Morales and everyone from TV to Radio! magagaling kayong lahat! kudos and pagpalain kayo ng Maykapal! 😀

        Like

  1. p-noy seems incapable of emotion or spontanaiety in times of national need.
    the ice man.

    songs
    the senate – money for nothing
    lacson – keep on running
    puno – time to say goodbye
    boy abunda – touch my body
    kris aquino – addicted to love
    the singsons – lose yourself
    ph – i heard it through the grapevine
    estrada – girls, girls, girls
    ochoa – message in a bottle
    congress – games people play

    Like

  2. can’t our SOCO use a more ‘appropriate’ scale when taking pictures of the evidences? based on the news videos parang pinutol na steel tape lang ang ginamit nila. at bakit bumalik pa sa crime scene ang ibang investigador the next day after the mmda already cleaned and collected garbage in the area? dapat natapos na sana lahat ng evidence gathering on the day itself.

    Like

  3. “tanghali pa kmi wlng kain,tao rin nmn po ako,nagugutom”
    “napakarami po ng problemang nmana natin sa dating administrasyon”
    “dala lang po siguro ng kabataan kaya nkpg-tweet ng gnun si miss.mislang”
    “hindi po nkabot sa akin ung tawag ni donald tsang,ns meeting po ako”
    “pera ko po ang pinambili ko ng sasakyan”
    “sa mall naman ang pagbabanta hindi sa mga bus”….

    whaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
    nakakasawa na ang wlng “substance” na mga response
    ni P-NOY sa mga isyu ng bayan!!!

    Like

    1. Since he started in his job, PNoy never convened the National Security Council that he chairs and the Anti-terrorism Council (chaired by Ochoa). The government spent more time planning the festivities for EDSA I to further glorify the Aquinos. Under GMA, the Anti terrorism Council convened once a month to prevent any attacks.

      Like

      1. you cant drain the swamp when you are fighting alligators.

        without a clear strategy, structure, systems and devolution of responsibility the result is always reactive not proactive.

        p-noy and the cabinet are showing their complete lack of experience.

        i doubt they could run a sari-sari store.

        this is the price the country will pay for electing a 50 year old who has not achieved anything and has experience of nothing. a work shy eccentric with no emotions and no passion.
        and people wonder why he is single.
        even failed in his private life.
        more interested in his toys.

        he needs to wake up and smell the stench of the bombs in the street and the stink of corruption in afp and the government and some of that is very close to him.
        by the way where is puno

        Like

      2. ok people time to leave the flippines. bring your families with you. stay there for 5 years or so. i will be happy to watch over your houses and cars.

        i would really appreciate if you could fill your garage with… you know what i mean…. booze.

        and one more. can you leave inday also. i need someone to pat my cat while i’m mowing your lawn.

        Like

    2. @religiousgirl

      We hated GMA with all our guts and condemned her to high heavens because Pnoy said that she is evil and the greatest thief of all time, worse than Imelda and Marcos. Now after seven months in office, Pnoy has not filed a single case against GMA nor has he substantiated his accusations against her.

      Di kaya naisahan pa rin tayo sa bagay na ito?

      Like

    3. @moveOut
      yes, becoz they are all but accidental heroes… and their admirers; desperate accidental fanatics… try analyze the premises by and through which they’re presumed ones, nothing so significant the way we have known how heroes had come to be. ninoy and cory were just born out of contingency, when tyranny held the whip while there was a dearth of knights and men of spirit at the time… and anyone, standing or made to stand in sight, no matter the competence and skill, was an inevitable next man in… and that was history… now, we’re about to see, or, are we seeing, the repeat, and seemingly at its worst?

      Like

  4. Salamat uli, idol, for making us smile/laugh. Nakakapanglumo kc ang mga events lately.

    This made me laugh: Promise huh? Baka drawing lang ‘yan.

    Tama ka, idol. Hindi halata ung 41% DECREASE in criminal activities. Mas bagay ang INCREASE. Sa totoo lang, mas takot ako ngayon kesa last year (GMA term) kasi mas may balls ung leader natin noon. Ngayon, mukhang clueless lahat ng leaders natin.

    Funny ung songs #44 and #53

    As usual, korek na naman si idol Paul. Surprised naman ako kay Timpaul (his nemesis): kilala nya si Robert Ingersoll huh?! Impressive! (or pa-impress?). Peace!

    Super katawa ung “molecule enraged” translation!! Yun ba talaga ang Filipino for “molecule”?? Any language expert out there?

    This just in: several (latest count: 9) construction workers died when the scaffolding they were riding plummetted some 28 floors. Another dagok to MAKATI Mayor Binay (alyas Yabang).

    Like

      1. jasper,

        If Santa Cory did not die at the right time, and if Pnoy and the yellow crowd did not use her death to gain sympathy and popularity for Pnoy, the result of the last election would have been anybody’s ball game. There are a lot of possible outcome and not necessarily 100% that Erap would be president. Remember that Lakas party was a monolith before Pnoy’s surge in popularity that made the balimbings and oppurtunists decide to transfer to LP. Come to think of it, we can even argue that because of Pnoy, muntik pang naging presidente muli si Erap.

        There were lot of possibilities and you see only one. But then again, you voted for Pnoy which tells a lot about how you think. Note that I did not say anything about your IQ!

        Like

  5. paul, if you are the chef in my restaurant serving the same menu,
    bitter gourd day in and day out, no matter how delicious it is, i will
    not tell you to stop serving it but i will fire you…

    and i think you are not using your freedom of writing responsibly
    anymore, you are now abusing it, exaggerating your opinions about
    the situation of our country…

    try looking at the positive side, there are a lot and it will make you
    happy and those around you…

    Like

    1. Its the blogger who should make judgement on that not you. He can fire me through censorship but he never did indicating his respect for free expression, Go make you own blog if you want to treat readers like you’re treating me. Or maybe you can join the Junta in Myanmar or the Politburo of North Korea where censorship is part of their TOR . We are both guests here and you have no right to say that I am not welcome because this blog is not yours

      Like

      1. i would not waste your time.
        some people are beyond redemption.
        little lives,little minds.
        social media and electricity and supermarkets are aspects of civilisation they dont quite understand how to use. or respect for freedom of expression and diversity of opinion.

        Like

      2. Naku Senior60, sa true lang, masyado ka nang nakikialam!

        Kung ayaw mo sa mga comments nina anon and paul, eh di wag mong basahin!

        As simple as that!

        Writing responsibly doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to please your readers ang give them what they want to read.

        Ah basta ako, pasalamat na lang lagi kay PH for always making me LOL with his posts. Wa ako pakialam sa ibang utaw kung akalain nilang may tililing ako dahil tumatawa ako ng mag-isa!

        Si etchosera… may tililing?

        Lahat kayo, sabay sabay…….. OPO!

        Bwahahahahahahahaha!

        Like

      3. hahaha. anon is brilliant? are you out of you mind señor? the fact is he’s just pretending to be intellectual. a person who can effectively convey his thought through speech or writing does not mean that he is already brilliant. i bet my cat has a higher IQ than he is.

        ang pagkakaalam ko, iyong mga tunay na matatalino ay matipid mag salita, pero grabe ang impact. remember albert einstein? all he can mumble is e=mc2…. e=mc2… e=mc2

        but when his e=mc2 impacted in hiroshima and nagasaki, it wipe-out more than half of japan’s homemade japayukis. that’s the reason why japan is importing pinays to fill the gap.

        Like

    1. paul

      from the start, what i was just trying to say is plain and simple
      that we have blown out of proportion, and that is, to just be
      fair and true with your comments, especially the one you posted
      last 1/27 at 03:08:07…

      and as i have said before, let us not abuse our freedom of expression,
      that’s all and i will now rest my case…

      its been great talking to you and anon, in english which i am not used to..

      Like

  6. triple XL minds must know where to stand, to self-regulate
    and need not be admonished…

    why don’t you and paul make your own blog instead, and
    come anytime if you are already ready to laugh, may i
    suggest a title: bitter minds…

    you react anon ha, i won’t mind wasting my time for you…

    and i have a new post way above, do not miss it..

    Like

    1. my final comment on the subject – in this post.
      humour operates at different levels and has multiple objectives.
      it certainly is both a vehicle and catalyst for debate.
      censorship however is exactly what this country has suffered from for too long.
      be part of the solution not part of the problem so that more people will have more to smile about

      Like

  7. etchos

    sa true lang din, dapat talaga tayong makikialam, makikibaka,
    for the sake of discussion, hindi naman personal nilang buhay
    ang pinakikialaman ko no, mga comments lang naman…

    at papaano natin ngayon malalaman kung magustuhan ba natin
    or hindi ang sulat ng iba kung hindi muna natin babasahin…

    about writing responsibly, may sagot na ako doon sa itaas,
    paki hanap mo na lang please, nagmamadali kasi ako dahil
    alas kwatro ra dito, ng madaling araw ha..

    Like

  8. uuyyy dong, ayaw ug saba ha, daa na man sad nang akoa
    ug bulatik ba, guiingnan ko na bitaw ka nga mas ka pa kaysa
    kaniya, siempre, kung brayet si iring, mas labaw pa ang agalon..

    kana lang nakahunahuna ka sa equation ni einstein , dili na lalim
    uy, tagsa ray mabuhi ana hahaha

    unya unsa na, kumusta na si inday nga gibilin nila nimo, nakasugakod?

    Like

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