Singson Update
Today, January 26, Ilocos Sur Rep. Ronald Singson will be arraigned in Hong Kong for a drug offense. The embattled congressman is expected to enter a plea of “set up.”

Carjack Suspects
Alleged carjack ringleaders Raymond and Roger Dominguez of Bulacan have faced a total of 28 criminal charges in various courts in Bulacan and Pampanga since 2007. Of those cases, 20 were for repeated car theft… otherwise known as “clueless police syndrome.”

Raymond Dominguez has surrendered to authorities. He hopes to enter into a plea bargain agreement with government prosecutors soon.

Starlet Katrina Paula defended her boyfriend Raymond saying he is not a carjacker. With 20 car theft cases, hindi carjacker? Eh ano siya, car enthusiast?

101 Answers to the Question “Carnapper ka?”
No. 32: “Heller! Matagal na kong nag-resign sa LTO ‘noh!”

No. 23: “Anong carnapper ang pinagsasasabi mo jan?! Starlet ako. ‘Yong boyfriend ko ang carnapper.”

No. 13: “Ang bilis mo namang makalimot General! Para namang wala tayong pinagsamahan.”

No. 31: “Ssssh, ano ka ba?! Ang ingay mo! Baka marinig tayo ni Speaker, start na yata ang session.”

No. 52: “Carnapper? OA ka naman. Holduppper lang! Taas ang kamay holdup ‘to!”

No. 25: “Recreationally.”

No. 43: “Minsan. Kapag walang duty sa presinto.”

No. 34: “Eh ba’t nagrereklamo ka? Kung sina mayor at hepe nga ‘di umaangal, ikaw pa!”

No. 61: “Grabe ka namang manghusga. Ikaw nga eh. ‘Di ba dati kang congressman?”

Not True
DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo ruled out any destabilization attempt against the government using the recent carjacking incidents. Robredo also dismissed rumors the carjacking of Margarita Fores’ Land Cruiser and the appointment of Atty. Sixto Brillantes to the Comelec were aimed at destabilizing the Liberal Party.

Garcia (Not) Missing
On Monday, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV said former AFP comptroller Carlos F. Garcia – who is close to revealing his “principals” (in a corruption case) from the previous administration, was missing… to which former Arroyo PMS chief Mike Defensor said, “Eh ba’t ganyan kayo makatingin?”

According to Senator Trillanes, ex-Major General Carlos F. Garcia cannot go to the United States because the US government is hostile to him. In fact, the US is more hostile to him than local authorities.

DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo’s request for a meeting with Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay on the city’s peace and order situation was turned down. The peace and order situation in the city is okay. The peace and order situation between Samar and Balay is not.

Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay told the press Monday he turned down DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo’s request for a meeting on the city’s peace and order situation saying police efficiency in Makati is efficient. Less than 24 hours later, a bus exploded along Epifanio delos Santos Avenue (Edsa) in Makati City killing five and wounding 13 others. Efficient nga.

Five persons died while 13 others were injured when a bomb exploded inside a bus along Edsa in Makati City Tuesday. I just hope that the police would conduct a deeper probe, and not pin this one on the Dominguez brothers.

A “bomb” exploded inside a passenger bus along Edsa in Makati City Tuesday. And Claire De La Fuente was like, “Don’t even dare give me that look!”

Briefly Noted: MAXIMO PELIGRO – the driver of the Newman Goldliner bus that was hit by an explosion.

Reports say actor Baron Geisler has selected a rehab center where he’ll stay for 90 days. Geisler handpicked the undisclosed facility for its accessibility, spacious rooms, and chubby female attendants.

Cebu Pac Milestone
Local carrier Cebu Pacific Air boasted of reaching its 50 millionth passenger recently. Rumors say the 50 million mark was actually achieved last December but, out of force of habit, delayed ang announcement. After all, Cebu Pacific is Cebu Pacific.

Plastics Ban
The Metro Manila Development Authority encourages local government leaders to follow Muntinlupa City’s example, and ban plastics… prompting a howl of protest from Vicki Belo, Ellen Lising, and Dr. Pie Calayan.

USTe’s Quatercentenary
The University of Santo Tomas is 400 years old. Recognizing UST’s contribution to the Philippine society, President Aquino stated, “To Asia’s oldest academic institution, congratulations!” Former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo added, “To my father’s alma mater, mabuhay!” And Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile said, “Sa aking kababata, happy birthday!”

UST turns 400 years old on Jan. 28. If a movie about the school is made for this year’s MMFF, it could win two major awards.

UST has just turned 400 years old. And Senator Loren Legarda was like, “Hmmm, interesting.”

Oscar Snub
The nominees for this year’s Academy Awards will be announced tonight (Manila time). Last week, we’ve learned that the Philippines’ “Noy” wasn’t shortlisted for Best Foreign Language Film. But Filipinos are not losing hope. In fact, we have selected a possible entry for next year’s Best Picture competition no less. Take a look.

And this just in: the nominees in this year’s Oscars. Click here.
“The trouble with the laws these days is that criminals know their rights better than their wrongs.”
~Author Unknown

Missing, Inaction
Sa gitna ng sunud-sunod na isyung may kinalaman sa kriminalidad, ang tanong ng bayan: where in hell is DILG undersecretary for police matters, and presidential powerpuff boy Rico E. Puno? According to deputy presidential spokesperson Abigail Valte, he is “on official business” (quoting his staff). Another source told me however he’s attending a shooting event in the US. If it’s true, have fun pero balik ka ‘agad. Maraming naghahanap sa ‘yo!

Breaking News
A reliable source says ABS-CBN Sports will broadcast the games of the NBA starting next month! Kung hei fat deal! Bye, bye Solar Sports. Let’s go Lakers!

Survey Says
Pabor ka bang ibalik ang parusang kamatayan sa mga heinous crimes?
– DAPAT lang! 62.36%
– NO. Hindi ‘yan effective. 31.07%
– Pag-iisipan ko muna. 6.58%

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

113 thoughts on “CRIMINAL MINDS”

    1. The turning down of Makati mayor to the request of the DILG secretary to meet re the city’s peace and order situation is indeed the height of arrogance and discourtesy to a superior no less. Wow! what a stance! Couldn’t he have just met up the higher official for a fleeting cup of coffee or tea, and made a splash on what he claims an A-1 peace and order condition of his domain? tsk!tsk!tsk! A review of GMRC lessons is in order for this little feeling-big swell-head Makati boy!


      1. @eddibumangon…

        I totally agree wd u eddibumangon. ano iyan kampi2? kaniya2? nabili na ba ng mga angels of darkness ang makati?

        ky kawawa tlga ang mga pinoy at pinas s mga politicians natin. laging ang bansa at ang taong bayan ang nagiging sacrificial lambs s mga makasariling politicians.

        dapat sa mga iyan ipang-sahog sa papaitan pra magkaroon naman ng essence.


      1. Before the first month of 2011is over, the bad news are: 64 dead from flooding in the south, 2 media people killed, 6 soldiers dead in an ambush, 4 dead and 14 wounded in bus bombing, 3 dead from heinous crimes and number of hungry Filipinos drastically increased with the prices of basic goods. The good news is that the President got a Porsche using his own money. What a way to usher the new year.


      1. thats why the country is in such a mess.
        dreamers who do not see reality and therefore accept the status quo.
        ignorance is bliss so if that is your approach to life good luck.
        some of us want to improve the country and will question and challenge and contribute.
        go back to the bucketful of beer.
        leave it to others!


      2. thats why the country is in such a mess also.
        whiners who cannot accept reality and therefore complain on everything.
        if you think your approach would make the flippines a better place, good luck.
        you want to improve the country and yet all you can do is question, challenge and contribute you point of views? come phil, get real.
        go join hikatalomato with his bucketful of beer.
        leave it to others!


  1. Bah humbug! that’s for Junjun Binay! Efficient ka jan…see…a bus was bombed right in the middle of Makati…what does that say of your efficiency of peace and order?! However, I just couldn’t help think (my mind sometimes becomes malicious)…is it really a terroristic act or someone is making a point?! hmmm…esep esep…what say you Mr. PH?


  2. tph,

    avid reader of yours here. question lang po. hindi ba ang quartercentenary ay 1/4 of century, so 25 years? quadricentennial po yata yung 400 years. btw, im not from uste. 🙂

    keep heckling! my mornings are not complete without browsing my mail, inquirer, and op kors, tph.


    1. i beg to disagree, phil.

      flippines is heaven… that’s why the druggie-chinks, the pedo-joes, the c*ck-sucking-brits, the hydrophobic-pakis, the suicide-vest-wearing-desert-niggers, bukkake-loving-japs, the concentration-camp-loving nazis, and wife-beating-descendants-of-odin chose to live here.

      and they let us flippinos live in their damned countries in exchange.


      1. uuyy hikata, si phil the doctor ug si anon usa ra?

        ug kanang tanang klase sa mga tawo nia na sa ato?
        baya no, wala man koy kalibutan, ang uban hinuon
        pero dili sad tanan, tingale nag over exaggerated ka
        lang sad ha…

        lain pay ato, unsa kahay maayong term gawas sa flippines ,
        mura man gud ug overall impact na hahaha basta ako mo
        lugnot gyud ko, dili ko


      2. ingon sa akong iring nga pwerting pagkabrayta sa kompyuter, usa ra na sila ñor.

        mutoo ka o dili ñor, dili man mga nindot nga lugar ang hinungdan kung ngano mudayo ang mga langyaw sa ato nasud. kay kung panindutay lang ug lugar, mas nindot ug makadaghan nga beses ila lugar kumpara nato. mao bitaw kita mga flippino, ganahan ta makaabot ug amerika ug europe.

        ang tinuod ñor, nganong ganahan sila sa flippines kay nakahibalo man gud sila nga sayon ra sila makahimo ug ilegal dinhi sa atoa. unya sayon ra pud sila makaikyas sa ila mga sala kay pwede man nila mapalit ang balaod sa ato nasud.

        naa pa usa ka nindot nga term gawas sa flippines ñor. loliland. lol (katawa) + land (yuta) = loliland


    2. i beg to disagree, phil.

      flippines is heaven… that’s why the druggie-chinks, the pedo-joes, the c*ck-sucking-brits, the hydrophobic-pakis, the suicide-vest-wearing-desert-niggers, bukkake-loving-japs, the concentration-camp-loving nazis, and wife-beating-descendants-of-odin choose to live here.

      and they let us flippinos live in their damned countries in exchange.


      1. ako hikata wala magtoo nga usa ra na sila, nakabasa man ko sa
        mga comments ni phil, sabotabol ra man kaayo samtang kang
        anon usahay murag lahi ra sa kamatuoran, sobra ra sa kabrayet..

        dili bitaw tungod sa nindot ang atong lugar, matod pa nila, ang
        atong pagkamahigalaon, pagkamahiyumon, pagkamaabiabihon
        ug uban pang positibo nga pagka..

        supak sad ko sa imong rason kung nganong moanhi sila sa atoa…

        any name but flippines…

        pustahay ta hikata, kung pananglitan ubang nationality ang mo
        tawag kanato ug flippino, usa ka sa mag una pag protesta, kay
        dili man ta mga flip, di ba?


    1. Late afternoon Pnoy said its definitely terrorism. But later in the evening he said that it cannot yet be determined with the investigation going on. Maybe the next day, he will say its GMA…. And Soliman was caught in the TV smiling as she accompanied Pnoy’s visit to St Luke’s where the bombing victims were!


  3. Likewise Heckler, don’t even care about the PBA!! Ilanb lang ba ang Pinoy sa mga yan, sa isang team 3 lang yata. Mas nakakainis pa, ang mga “Fil-Ams” na yan, punta punta dito sa Pinas para kumita ng malaki, magparty sa Republiq at mambabae na wala naman talagang pakialam sa Pilipinas, ni wala ngang balak matuto ng tagalog, nakakahiya lalo na pag nakajersey sila ng PILIPINAS sa harap


  4. a few weeks ago the uk govt issued a heightened alert for the philippines. this is only done when there is specific knowledge of an imminent threat.
    this was shared with philippines govt who chose to ignore it.
    if the bus bomb is the result then p-noy and his incompetents and stay away puno have blood on their hands for not taking at least some additional precautions rather than doing nothing as per usual.
    my prayers for those involved


  5. ph i hope u will indulge me.
    after the bomb blast yesterday i penned a few words.


    voters cheering, hope arising
    flags a-waving, change arriving
    P-NOY singing

    shalani going, porsche coming
    liz styling, lopez dating
    P-NOY celebrating

    tensions showing, cabinet failing
    ochoa drinking, puno hiding
    P-NOY smiling

    senators stealing, governors golfing
    congress whoring, nothing changing
    P-NOY relaxing

    car jacking, illegal logging
    jueteng gambling, honeymoon ending
    P-NOY grinning

    singson snorting, pacman endorsing
    congress talking, belmonte boring
    P-NOY shooting

    bombs exploding, people dying
    crime increasing, mothers crying
    P-NOY driving

    politicians lying, enemies growing
    binay plotting, delima working
    P-NOY dating

    willie wailing, kris a bonking
    abunda pimping, & tax evading
    P-NOY playing

    pnp torturing, arroyo laughing
    afp plundering, marcos shopping
    P-NOY thinking

    the clock is ticking, no time remaining
    climate changing, prices rising
    P-NOY smoking

    jobs decreasing, poverty increasing
    masses revolting, anarchy prevailing
    P-NOY worrying

    nation unravelling, pinoys leaving
    predictable ending, chinese controlling
    P-NOY retiring

    roxas hoping, escudero dreaming
    kris a bonking, cojuangco scheming
    P-NOY sleeping


    1. few words daw o, dami kaya…

      sige anon, mag name-calling ka to your heart’s delight,
      total hindi ka naman ma oblige to paliwanag in the presinto
      dahil username ka lang naman..

      ang katotohanan nyan, sobrang galing mo..

      may mas mataas pa ba kaysa sa summa?

      sa palagay mo etchos, yan naman ay kung may palagay ka,
      kung wala, di wala, problema ba yun…


      1. uyy hikata, ayawg saba ha, ato syang libakon kay dili man
        makasabot ug bisaya, ang buot nimo ipasabot nga murag
        nangopya lang sya ug aydea?

        abi nimo no, suma total, paminaw ko mas brayet ka pa kay
        sa niya, diha diay moliwat nimo ang imong iring nga pwerteng

        sige gyud, patinduga ang plag sa mga bisdak, mabuhi ka..

        pero lang sad, hinayhinay sa pag lagok ha, nasayod na man ka
        nga makadaut kana sa panglawas, korek?


      2. ayaw pud ñor. maluoy intawon ta sa mga lumad sa manila nga dili kamao ug wala plano makamao ug bisaya. nagtuo man gud na sila nga mas superior sila nato tungod tagalog ila sinultihan. wala sila kasayod nga mas brayt ta nila kay kita kasabot nila, apan sila walay kalibutan kung unsa ato gisulti. gilibak na diay sila. hahaha

        pero ñor kahibalo ba ka kung unsa pinakapaet sa tanan? kanang mga bisdak nga nanglangyaw ug manila, unya inig-uli sa probinsya dili na musulti ug bisaya kay taas na kaayo ila panglantaw sa ila kaugalion. ang tinuod diay yamomo ra nga factory worker ug nagpuyo lang sa eskwater sa manila.

        sayop jud ka ñor kung nagtoo ka nga brayt ko. kanang ako isulat diri sa blog, gihunghong raman na nila mr. budweiser, mr. chivas, mr. smirnoff, carlos 1, jose cuervo, kulafu, chok tong, ug uban pa. pagkadaghan baya nako adviser ñor. maglibog na lagi ko usahay kung kinsa ako paminawon nila.


      3. me? sad? you must be kidding dude. i have plenty of friends around. there’s mr. budweiser in the fridge. there’s mr. smirnoff inside the overhead cabinet. there’s jose cuervo sitting in the porch. and there’s mr. kulafu and mr. viagro in a sari-sari store just across the street.

        you consider a slouchy person lazily sitting in a couch, displaying bravado? is that the new definition? i guess i’ve slept too long last night that, by the time i woke up, they have already changed the definition of bravado.

        by the way, its not my style to joke around. i want you to know that i’m serious all the time. really dead serious.


  6. singson will buy his way out of trouble.
    he will find a corrupt judge.
    they like money even more than filipinos.
    nothing changes.
    that is what all the delays have been about. negotiations so the chinese do not lose face but find way to let him off.
    put it down to medical prescription and personal stress and of course a person of exemplary character and public service.
    at least it makes the chinese look as much of a joke as the filipinos.
    and the singsons will owe the chinese big time so they will be happy to collect when they are ready.


  7. “…Foreign countries all issued travel warnings to their citizens against imminent terrorist attacks in the country, which irked President Aquino, who claimed then that these foreign travel advisories were baseless, and demanded at least seven countries to withdraw their advisories…” – Philippine Tribune

    Sino ngayon ang nagmukhang TANGA?


  8. and singson found a corrupt judge at last.
    it shows that the chinese can be bought.
    now it is just a process of saving face.
    no doubt medical necessity
    and then return to congress with a slap on the wrist.
    the girl and drug provider will be back and congress can party again
    why do you think a moron like singson is tolerated.
    he will owe the chinese big time and they will collect when they are ready.
    another politician in their pocket.
    slowly slowly control


    1. oooh looks like a scenario from terminator when skynet is covertly installing itself into world’s computers. just to give you a recall:

      john connor: by the time skynet became self-aware it had spread into millions of computer servers across the planet. ordinary computers in office buildings, dorm rooms; everywhere. it was software; in cyberspace. there was no system core; it could not be shutdown. the attack began at 6:18 pm, just as he said it would. judgment day, the day the human race was almost destroyed by the weapons they’d built to protect themselves. i should have realized it was never our destiny to stop judgment day, it was merely to survive it, together. the terminator knew; he tried to tell us, but i didn’t want to hear it. maybe the future has been written. i don’t know; all i know is what the terminator taught me; never stop fighting. and i never will. the battle has just begun.

      sad to say phil, skynet will take over the world before the chinks do. i assure you of that


    1. wrong prophecy again phil. tourist will still come to the flippines even if it surpasses maguindanaoistan as the most dangerous place in the world.

      this is their paradise, phil…. their loliland. eminent danger cannot deter these men’s desire to experience paradise.

      i think this is the reason why they keep coming to the flippines: “o utog na makapangyarihan. pag pumasok sa puson nino man. hahamakin ang lahat, masunod ka lamang”.


      1. been there, done that

        i think you should go outside and breath some fresh air. you’re fuming man. remember a hearth attack is bad for your dong. it ends up crooked most of the time. it will take a lot of hand jobs and deep throatin’ to get it straight again.

        be cool…
        be cool…


    1. I have read the news article that that creature actually uttered those words.
      I dunno if I’m gonna cry, laugh or simply grin like an clueless idiot when I read that part of the news article.

      This only shows how gullible that yellow creature could be…
      ‘IT’ must be reminded that terrorist acts and works under the shadows of deceit.

      Wow! Ganito lang pala kadali linlangin at mapaglalangan ang isang Noynoy Aquino.


  9. uuyy hikata, una sa tanan, seryus ning akoa ha, nakadungog ka na
    gyud tingale aning estoryaha nga ang mga senyor na nga sama nako
    nga purya buyag wala pa magtumar ug mentenance kay dili man ko
    abusado sa akong lawas, mag dayalog ug, ang mga palahubog dili
    matiguwang kay ngano, mamatay man dayon, mutubag sad ang
    batan-on nga palahubog nga sama nimo ug, bahala na mamatay
    basta ibabaw sa kamay, ikaw dong, ingon sad ani imong panghunahuna?
    hinaut nga dili kay kaanugon baya nimo intawon, sa imong retrato murag
    mga 30 ka pa man ug hitsuraan sad, lantip pa gyud ang pangutok….

    kataas na akong suwat, mahibulong gyud silang mga spoken dolyar
    ug pure tagalog kung unsay atong guipangyawyaw, madugay mokuha
    ni sila ug interpreter hahaha eksakto gyud ka nga mas bentaha ta kay

    pero si blank aka blank ba, akong balikon, wala sa imong kumingking
    kung tinubagay ang hisgutan, maayo man lang to siya mo diskurso
    pero dili kamao mo debate…

    sige dong hikata, ang akong tambag ha, maluoy man lang sad ko sa
    imong mga ginikanan, sigurado ko wala sila magkulang sa pag maymay
    kanimo ug maglagot ka sa yawyawan, karon, ning-apil pa gyud ko, mao
    nay gui-ingon, buuutangi….


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