CARJACK ARREST

The Liberal Party
First things first, happy anniversary to the Liberal Party! It is now 65 years old… or as Senator Loren Legarda would say, “husband material.”

The Liberal Party marked its 65th anniversary last Wednesday. Some say the party’s old, others insist it’s still young. You be judge: when the Liberal Party was founded, Senator Enrile was on his first term as senator.

On Wednesday, the Liberal Party unanimously elected Mar Roxas as party president… just two days after the Noy-Bi “party” unanimously elected Atty. Sixto Brillantes Jr. as Comelec chairman.

Noticeably, former senator Mar Roxas was in ‘barong Tagalog’ last Wednesday. Observers say had he insisted on wearing blue, he would have lost the presidency of the party.

Justifying his choice of Mar Roxas as “chief troubleshooter,” President Aquino says “I am no Superman who can do anything.” And then he went on to introduce Roxas to the guests by saying, “Ladies and Gentlemen, ‘MacGyver.’”

Former senator Mar Roxas denied that he would be more powerful than President Aquino once appointed in government. Well, that’s believable. How can you be more powerful than the country’s president when you can’t even be more powerful than your wife?

Carjacking
The Land Cruiser of restaurateur Margarita Fores, a cousin of former senator Mar Roxas was carjacked in Makati City last Wednesday. And Vice President Jejomar Binay was like, “Don’t look at me!”

Carjacking II
Malacañang admits it finds the spate of carjacking cases alarming. To prove its concern, the palace has assigned a group of men to watch over the President’s Porsche 24/7.

Looking Wow
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that former president and now Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is making heads turn with her “svelte figure and glowing complexion.” Today, she has a 25-inch waistline… perfectly complementing her 25-inch height.

Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo says her waistline is down from 31 to 25 because of exercise and vegetable diet. Not to be outdone, former President Joseph Estrada says exercise and vegetables have also been helpful to him. In fact, his IQ is up from 80 to 89.

Winning Slogan
President Aquino’s “Kung Walang Corrupt, Walang Mahirap” campaign slogan won the PublicAffairsAsia’s Gold Standard Award for Political Communications. Meanwhile, the Department of Tourism lost in the poster making category.

Lapid’s New Bill
Saying, “We are being alienated in our very own country, and we are left to figure out for ourselves what these establishments are,” Sen. Lito Lapid filed a new bill seeking to require all signs, signboards, or billboards to be written either in Filipino or English. While waiting for the passage of his bill, Lapid vowed to boycott Le Souffle, Amici, Focaccia, Thien Duong, Mi Piace, Le Coeur de France, Schwarzwälder, and other establishments whose names he cannot pronounce.

Citing the “widespread emergence of restaurants and other specialty shops bearing signages in foreign languages,” former stuntman turned actor-politician Lito Lapid lamented, “Filipinos are left to wonder what these signages mean.” Lapid got the idea for his new bill from an embarrassing experience last week when he tried but failed to buy dishwashing paste from Häagen-Dazs.
————————————
“Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.”
~H.L. Mencken, 1956

Survey Says
Magiging patas kaya as Comelec Chairman si Atty. Sixto Brillantes Jr?
– Oo naman. 22.46%
– Hindi! 47.01%
– Sino siya? 30.54%

Personal
Tomorrow is Saturday. Try to join our game on Twitter between 9:30 and 11:30 in the evening. No need to register. Just follow me on Twitter, and be witty. Bawal ang pikon.

Repost this article on Facebook and Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter

Have a safe weekend! #teamlakers #beattheheat

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

106 thoughts on “CARJACK ARREST”

  1. if you want change:

    stop electing ugly people in the government. it is scientifically proven that ugly people tends to do no good.

    nero is ugly
    hitler is ugly
    obama is ugly

    and after marcos, following flippines presidents are all ugly

    aquino
    ramos
    estrada
    arroyo
    aquino again

    and if we elect another batch of ugly people

    roxas
    binay
    defesor
    enrile
    enrile

    Like

      1. Senior60…. sinasagot mo na ang sarili mong tanong?

        Nakupuuuu! Senyales na yan!

        Not to worry…di pa malala yan, kaya pang solusyunan ng pananahimik yan!

        Pero pag tinatanong mo na ang sarili mong sagot…. ayyyy!

        Yan talaga, dapat ka na talagang magpatingin sa pediatrician!

        Like

      1. I said he makes sense.

        But the nonsense part, if I may point out, is the “or English” part. The OA part also is filing a bill. This is something that the DTI or local LGUs can easily require as esa pointed out.

        If indeed our nationalistic sensibilities are being offended and our national pride is being trampled, just make all the translations Filipino.

        Bakit sasama pa yung English? Having English translations is supposed to instill a sense of nationalism? That’s hogwash. And don’t say it’s because “English is our second language”. Go full monty! There’s no such thing as half-nationalistic. Pati English signs gawing Tagalog! Ginagawa na yan sa mga government agencies di ba?

        Halimbawa, “Kapehan ng mga Bituing Usang Lalaki” para sa Starbucks Cafe.

        Bahala ka na magtranslate sa Tae Jan Restaurant.

        Like

      1. Sea cows or “dugong” are very gentle creatures that prey on no one. They graze on sea grass and in the process release the nutrients from the seabeds so that other creatures may live. Puno is like a giant barnacle that weighs down the ship, feeds on dirt, wounds the flesh in contact while getting a free ride.

        Like

  2. when people actually pay their rightful tax here then things will change. until then it is a rice republic for the chinese to rape and pillage with no chance for future generations.
    it is not rocket science but for failed economic dimwits like p-noy above his intellect and his principles.
    he is the epitome of hypocricy and his parents will be turning in their graves.
    the black sheep.
    children are dying because of the greed and insensitivity of the criminal classes.
    and noone seems to care. it is gods grand plan. great excuse to do nothing.
    no wonder filipinos are regarded as the lowest iq in the world.

    Like

    1. People raised hell over GMA’s diner in a 5-star restaurant (the bill not on her), VAT (with money going to the government), MManila flood (86 dead), release of Chinese poachers in Palawan (through China’s request) and alleged presidential involvement in ZTE deal (still to be proven in court). But people seemed amused when PNoy got a Porsche (the bill on him), raised the price of almost everything (with most money going to big business), mishandled the Bicol, Visayas and Mindanao flood (65 died and still rising), boycotted the Chinese Nobel Prize winner (a Philippine govt gesture to please the China) and secured Hacienda Luisita from land reform (already proven)

      Like

  3. TPHeckler: Eh pa’no kung masira ka? Remember: troubleshooter daw si Mar.
    TPPorsche: Troubleshooter ng ano?!? Padyak?? Har-har-har. Let me repeat dat: har-har-har. Porsche ako. Hindi kami magka-level.

    Har, har, har….. Bakit kasi pinipilit pang isali ang talunan. Uy, nga pala, lapitin din ng mga men ang Porsche….

    Like

  4. eddi

    sinabi mo pa rin, obvious ba na yun nga ang ibig kong sabihin?
    na hindi talaga kami magka level?

    ang ipinagtataka ko lang din, na ang mga ka level ni anon dito,
    you for example, parang hindi rin nag attempt to comment on
    his/her comments, bakit kaya? nahihirapan din kayp?

    Like

      1. hahaha 😀 kahit ako di na rin ako masyado nagcocomment dito… too many trolls 😀 masasayang lang oras ko kakasagot. I just drop by to read PH’s posts…

        anyway, i’d like to correct senior60’s assumption na di ako titira kay NoyNoy. medyo mahaba haba lang pasensya ko, unlike other people who has been screaming for his head ever since his first day in office. if he messes up a la Gloria, i’ll scream for his head too. i havent seen anything yet that he or his admin has become a full GMA clone.

        Like

      2. Only the blind or a yellow-tinted-spectacled emo like you phreddox cannot see the hypocrisy of Pnoy!…My heart bleeds for the poor and I will sacrifice my privacy and personal pleasures to run for the presidency even though I don’t aspire for it, just so I can help the hungry and the wretched poor of this wretched country…but before that, let me drive my poor-sha!

        Like

      3. sauce! hair splitter ka eddi. dont me give me that holier than thou BS.
        read what I said, sabi ko hindi na ako masyado nagcocomment kase andaming mga trolls dito sa blog. Ibig namn siguro sabihin nun nagbabasa ako ng comments dito? PH’s humor is not the only source of amusement here. There are also the comments from posters who think that name calling and insult-mongering will cure the nation of what ills it. (bato bato sa langit)

        anyway, di ako emo, i always look for positives. ikaw ang emo. sino kaya tong nakaabang 24/7 sa blog na PH waiting for the slightest chance to rant and bitch about PNoy, in all pessimism, gloom and doom?

        Like

      1. ahah…hah…hah…di lang si PH ang funny, pati mga commenters..parang mga tormenters sa Harry Potter…ahihihi…talagang mga regulars na dito nakakatuwa ding basahin…since newbie lang ako, ill just be a bystander and give my piece of mind once in a while 😀
        kumbaga or for short…a fence sitter… ahihihihihi!

        Like

  5. Eto lng yun, Alingawngaw pa lang na tatakbo si noynoy ay nabadtrip na ako. He’s not a Gloria clone, he’s even worse, first off the Quirino Gstand Hostage-taking, buset wala man lang syang comment….the Hacienda Case, buset “bahala na ang DOJ”?…, the Porsche? wala syang taste….konti na lng nmn idadagdag nya may Gallardo o Murcielago na siya, pero i guess it will be more controversial if he go beyond Porsche’s level….hehehe….
    Miss Marja: commentators po ata yun….
    Sir Anon: ang sama ng grammar ng post mo sa itaas, wag na piliting mag english, tagalugin na lang po ok…hehehe…jan kasi nagkaka-awayan eh, hindi magkaintindihan because of misinterpretations.

    Like

      1. hahaha. ngayon para ka namang bata na nagsusumbong…paano kita pepersonalin eh di naman tayo magkakilala?…grow up dude!

        kung ayaw mo na puro kami negative, ranting, and whining, ba’t di mo umpisahan at paki-enumerate yung mga positive actions ni Pnoy these past 7 months…i said actions ha, no more slogans please…

        Like

      2. he got Robredo on board. that’s a positive (even if he is being undermined by by Puno et al.)

        And I’m not seeing him being connected to any large-scale corruption and plunder. That is a big plus for me.

        Despite his early fumbles, I prefer him than another 6 years of Erap who placed second last elections.

        Like

      3. whatever positives he got by appointing robredo is negated, cancelled-out by not giving him (robredo) his support. it even looks like it’s just a panakip-butas and temp appointment coz he did not submit his name for confirmation…robredo has responsibility but got no power over the pnp…what kind of setup is that?

        Like

  6. ano kasi eddi, iba ang style ni mister heckler, di ba? yun bang
    hindi muna ipapakita ang mga posts natin pagkatapos sabay-
    sabayin na…

    halimbawa dito, kung alam ko lang na may answer ka na, di hindi
    na ako sasagot…

    dito naguguluhan ako sa iyo eddi, may pa muaaaah muaaaah ka pa
    pagkatapos nag dude ka kay phreddox, di ba meaning dude lalaki?

    sa palagay ko naman, 99% girl si phreddox at single kaya pwede
    ko na rin irereto sa iyo , game ka ba? kalimutan mo ang, never will…

    Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s