TROUBLES


Black Nazarene
Quiapo District in Manila is celebrating the 404th anniversary of the arrival of the Black Nazarene in the Philippines. Yup, it’s been that long. In fact, Senator Juan Ponce Enrile was still an infant when the image was brought in here.

Thousands of Roman Catholic devotees joined the annual procession of the Black Nazarene Sunday. Sketchy reports say among those who were spotted in the sea of people were known Nazarene devotee Noli De Castro who prayed for his health, and first time procession participant Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta who prayed for her job.

The PAO Chief
President Aquino is maintaining a hands-off stance on the case of embattled Public Attorney’s Office Chief Persida Rueda-Acosta. The president admits though it would have been much easier for him to decide on Acosta’s fate if she was a weather forecaster.

Mar Roxas Back Soon?
President Aquino announced Friday he’s eyeing former senator and defeated vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas to be his “chief troubleshooter.” Roxas’ first task is to troubleshoot problems that may arise from his appointment.

Defeated vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas is being eyed as President Aquino’s “chief troubleshooter.” Palace insiders deny rumors that the post will be created to neutralize Rico E. Puno, currently, President Aquino’s “chief troublemaker.”


Angry Bird
Four police officers from Zamboanga City were injured when a flightless cassowary bird attacked them. The bird was subsequently captured but insisted during the interrogation that he acted on self-defense saying the cops attempted to kidnap him.

A 4-foot cassowary bird attacked a group of policemen in training in Zamboanga City. After the “encounter,” the police captured the bird. In a related story, the Communist Party of the Philippines is demanding the release of the bird before peace talks with the government could push through.


Dumb Criminal
Authorities have captured Arnel Buenaflor, the gunman in the fatal shooting of a Kalookan City councilman recently. In fairness to Buenaflor, he didn’t resist arrest. In fact, he gamely posed when his mugshots were taken.
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“Trouble springs from idleness.”
~Benjamin Franklin


Fun!
As I have mentioned in my previous posts, every Saturday night, I moderate a game on Twitter. It’s open to the public. You just have to follow me. Last night, I asked tweeples to send “Perfect Movie Casting Choices.” Examples: (1) Madam Auring & Ellen Lising: Face/Off (2) Sen. Panfilo Lacson: Catch Me If You Can, (3) Sen. Lito Lapid: Artificial Intelligence (4) ex-Sen. Jamby Madrigal: Girl, Interrupted, (5) Luneta Tourist Bus: Journey to the Center of the Earth, and (6) Former VP Teofisto Guingona and former Sen. Jovito Salonga: 10,000 BC.

In no particular order, here are some of the funniest entries that were tweeted and re-tweeted last night (January 8):
1: From @angeldirecto – Presidential Communications Group: Clueless
2: From @forg9587 – President Aquino: Never Been Kissed
3: From @gudboyARL – President Aquino and Usec. Rico E. Puno: Maging Sino ka Man
4: From @paopaoAJ – Former President GMA: Dwarfina
5: From @dondeekenz – Executive Secretary Ochoa: The Drunken Master
6: From @AbigailLimHo – President Aquino: The Accidental Hero
7: From @andmyfaceislike – Rico Puno, MPD, Mayor Lim, Mendoza: Meet the Fockers
8: From @MangBurns – VP Jojo Binay: The Dark Knight
9: From @retireQuinito – Cong. Gloria M. Arroyo: Bakit Ako Mahihiya
10: From @desoleboy – Shalani Soledad: He’s Just Not That Into You
11: From @MangBurns – Kris Aquino: Scream I, II, III & IV
12: From @copochax – Shalani Soledad and Willie Revillame: The Hottie and the Nottie
13: From @forg9587 – ABS CBN Execs and Willie Revillame: Babangon Ako’t Dudurugin Kita
14: From @ronacious – Rico E. Puno and ES Jojo Ochoa: The Untouchables
15: From @whoisJeffD – Ping Lacson: Gone With the Wind
16: From @forg9587 – Mar Roxas: Abot-Kamay Ang Pangarap
17: From @dexdixidexy – President Aquino, Kris Aquino and Liz Uy: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (Named as funniest entry of the evening)
18: From @hybridcha – Hitmakers of ‘Pilipinas Win na Win:’ Gone Too Soon
19: From @CamBon0620 – John Lloyd Cruz & Shaina Magdayao: Teeth
20: From @gudboyARL – Mar & Korina: An Inconvenient Truth
21: From @paopaoAJ – Jason and Hubert Webb: Ang Utol Kong Hoodlum
22: From @instantsiomai – President Aquino /Liz Uy: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
23: From @Ro_nnie – GMA: Once Upon a Time in China
24: From @magzcafe – Assunta de Rossi: Bride of Chuckie
25: From @AbigailLimHo – GMA and Mike Arroyo: Bonnie and Clyde
26: From @dexdixidexy – Ai Ai de las Alas: Bagong Buwan
27: From @MangBurns – Sharon Cuneta: Titanic
28: From @MangBurns – Gretchen Fullido: Titanic II
29: From @toppgarperio – GMA: Despicable Me
30: From @yourarcilicious – GMA: Leprechaun
31: From @Harr1etTheSpy – Kris: Anakan Mo Ako
32: From @instantsiomai – Ronald Singson: Life is Hot in Cracktown
33: From @Harr1etTheSpy – Secs. Coloma/Carandang and Donald Tsang: The Ring
34: From @dexdixidexy – Kris and James: Ang Darling Kong Aswang
35: From @MangBurns – Senate President Enrile: Twilight
36: From @tinniewanders – Madam Auring: The Mummy (Or The Thing)
37: From @Harr1etTheSpy – GMA: Unforgiven
38: From @ktinnbautista – Willie and Shalani: Lust, Caution
39: From @johnearlm – Ronald Singson: Bawal na Gamot
40: From @ronacious – Sharon Cuneta: Bounce
41: From @kimopulido – Gladys Reyes: Jaws; Toni Gonzaga: Jaws 2!
42: From @forg9587 – P-Noy’s Cabinet: Up In The Air
43: From @chinofigueroa – Mommy Dionisia & Madame Auring: Alien vs. Predator
44: From @scuzzzy – PAO’s Atty. Persida Acosta: Paano na Kaya?
45: From @attyarj – Jessica Alfaro & Hubert Webb et al: I Know What You Did Last Summer
46: From @chuckieboii – Joel Cruz: Scent of a Woman
47: From @johnearlm – Kuya Germs: Insomnia
48: From @dexdixidexy – PNoy, Korina, Shalani, Liz: Ghost of Girlfriends Past
49: From @lexiz08 – Exec. Sec. Ochoa: The Hangover
50: From @one_lad – Generals Delfin Bangit and Jesus Versoza: Cop Out
51: From @angeldirecto – Shalani Soledad, Pnoy, & Len Lopez: Una Kang Naging Akin
52: From @chuckieboii – Madam Auring: Dalaw (or the lack of it)
53: From @Harr1etTheSpy – Korina Sanchez: Hairspray
54: From @angeldirecto – President Aquino: I Am Sam
55: From @klaris – Presidential Communications Group: Babel
56: From @8muggler – Mai Mislang: The Motorcycle Diaries
57: From @angeldirecto – Annabelle Rama, Daisy Romualdez, Amalia Fuentes: Mean Girls
58: From @maharanirish – Vina Morales:The Wrestler
59: From @Pimply_PonC – Mar Roxas: The Back-up Plan
60: From @inanperillo – VP Jojo Binay: Out of Africa
61: From @yourarcilicious – Madame Auring: House of Wax
62: From @attyarj – Ex-Gen. Carlos Garcia: Indecent Proposal
63: From @Ivee – DOT Sec. Alberto Lim & the “Pilipinas Kay Ganda” Campaign: Failure to Launch
64: From @attyarj – Madam Auring: Huwag Mong Buhayin ang Bangkay
65: From @hfamous – Mar & Korina: A Series of Unfortunate Events
66: From @forg9587 – Anna Dizon: Bituing Walang Ningning
67: From @jayspogi – Atty. Persida Acosta: Kakabakaba Ka Ba?
68: From @dexdixidexy – PNoy: Palimos ng Pag-ibig
69: From @jayspogi – Juan Ponce Enrile: Ice Age 4
70: From @paopaoAJ – Dyan Castillejo and Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao: Magkapatid

Whether you’re active or not on Twitter as long as you have an account, log in every Saturday evening between 9 and 11:30. Let’s have fun – for free.

Survey Says
Dapat bang gawing mandatory ang drug testing sa mga miyembro ng Senado at Kamara?
– OO. Dapat lang. 91.69%
– Siguro, voluntary, pabor ako. 6.23%
– Hindi na kailangan ang drug test. 2.08%

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Have a great week ahead! #teamlakers #beattheheat

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

106 thoughts on “TROUBLES”

  1. Kahit na hindi na nasali (though may mga nasabi dyan na galing sakin), eto mga pahabol ko sa game:

    Kris Aquino, Baby james and Ai Ai: “Kris, Tanging Ina Mo!”
    ARNEL BUENAFLOR in “Isang Bala Ka Lang” na naging “Isang Shot Ka Lang”
    PNP Director General Raul Bacalzo in “Pulis Patola”
    Annabelle Rama and his talent agency Royale Era Management Company in “Monsters Inc”
    Mike Enriquez in “The Sore Throat”
    Mar Roxas, Korina Sanchez and Willie Revillame on the set of Wowowee in “The Proposal”
    Mar Roxas in “Caregiver”, pwede ring “Caretaker”

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  2. ph. u have intelligent creative and eloquent followers. just too few to rebalance the inadequacy incompetence incestuous nature of politics in the country which is a disgrace.
    in the 1st world the majority would be locked up as criminals and traitors.
    here they become personalities.
    is the country so barren in passion and intellect that they accept children being trafficked, raped by government officials and old women forced to beg
    or is it just good for a laugh as long as people have some gossip in their lives.

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      4. sad, dude? or sad dude? sorry… iba po kasi ‘yon.

        palagay ko po si Paul ang mas nakakaintindi sa “spirit of this blog” kesa kay Timpaul.

        it was a play on words, Timpaul. Paki-Google po: PUN.
        (troubleshooter. SHOOT Penoy because he is TROUBLE. Get it, Timpaul?)

        hi, PH!!!!!! I miss u!!!!! i’m reading all the “issues” i missed.

        *tight hug* ulit

        Like

      7. I am not more intelligent than you but maybe just more informed in some aspects. I am just fortunate that due to the nature of my company, I am exposed to the operation of many private corporations (including Luisita) and government agencies (including the OP). I do know a substandard performance when I see one and I consider it a form of robbery… not delivering the goods and services that are paid for.

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      9. @ phil… no anon… no phil…no anon… aarrrr i’m confused.

        wow you’re a simple doctor. so how much you are charging? 50 pesos per consultation? how much those drug companies giving you? 500 pesos per month? how long would it take to recover your investment? 5,000 years?

        Like

    2. Spirit of this blog? Seeing something positive to laugh about even in the bad things that are happening about us? Would that qualify? Paul, pay your taxes well alright and then give directly to those in need. That will lighten your heart by focusing your attentions to the good you do rather than the bad others are doing. Thanks for the “you’re” and “sad dude”. I can also take corrections in stride. They make us more mature, ehem. I should have written the purpose of this blog and not “the spirit” (nanalo pa nga, e!). So, if YOU’RE not laughing, then YOU DON’T REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GET IT. Are you, Paul?

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      3. But I was laughing when I said Mar should shoot Pinoy. So what is your problem? As for the taxes I paid and the amount I give to charity, I assure you it much higher that the total household income of an average Filipino. OK you are the only one who REALLY REALLY GET IT. Congratulations!

        Like

    1. i will campaign for her. I think she is, by miles, better than —–, ——-, ——–, ——–, ——– , —–, ——-, ——–, ——–, ——– ,—–, ——-, ——–, ——–, ——– ,—–, ——-, ——–, ——–, ——– , ——–, ——–, and ——–

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      1. ano’ng kaguluhan ‘to??!!!!
        bakit now ko lang nalaman itong game mo, ph?

        cge, will join u on saturday (kung walang tsugs tsugs… at kung maalala ko pa ang twitter password ko. hehe).

        pahabol ko sa last game mo:

        Prez Penoy: Bondying
        Marlene Aguilar: Sisa
        Kris Aquino: Sisa (remake)
        Hayden Kho: xXx
        Teofisto Guingona, Jovito Salonga, JP Enrile: No Country For Old Men
        Sen. Loren Legarda: Madame Butterfly
        Vicky Belo, Madame Auring, et al.: Transformers
        Marlene Aguilar, Madame Auring, et al.: Monsters, Inc.
        Panfilo Lacson: Gone Baby Gone
        Prez Penoy: Monster In The Closet
        Marlene Aguilar (again. mabenta!): Alien

        ph: thanks again.
        ang galing2 mo!!!
        i love u na ata.
        JOKE po!!!
        hndi (pa) ako badush.
        LOL

        Like

  23. sabi ko sa sarili ko, isa sa new year’s resolution ko ang bawas-bawasan ang pagngiti ng nag-iisa. Madalas na akong napagkakamalang baliw dine sa bahay namin.

    pero pano mo ba naman yan matutupad kung early in the morning, ito ang mababasa mo –

    In fact, Senator Juan Ponce Enrile was still an infant when the image was brought in here.

    Panira ka naman ng resolusyon. BTW, talo na sa basketball, talo pa din sa volleyball. Siguro wag na lang i-televise ang mga games ng UP, doon sila nanalo a. Buti pa nung time namin, nagchachampion ang UP kahit sa volleyball man lang..Sama na nain ang baseball, football… Bakit kaya ngayon wala na? 2 lang naisip ko dyang dahilan, better competition or fewer athletes with brains?

    Happy New Year Senior. Pasensiya ka na, dating sakit. Tamad backread. Pero the good news is that meron ng “the fourth”

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  24. balikbayan lang ako dito, pero tawa ako ng tawa diyan sa linshak ng perfect movie casting.

    grabe, fertile minds talaga tayo pag dating sa pag-iisip ng katatawanan.

    kung me pera ako, gusto ko itong i-produce:

    Mommy Dionisia & Madame Auring: Alien vs. Predator

    and of course, the winner

    President Aquino, Kris Aquino and Liz Uy: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

    Senior, use your imagination. Pwede namang si Kris ang Lion, siya naman ang nasusunod sa lahat ng gusto niya….

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  28. Hi Idol PH! Share ko lang sa readers mo yung ginawa kong Facebook note about the same topic last April. Actually, ginamit ito ni Mr. Boo Chanco for his “Demand and Supply” column sa Philippine Star.

    The eight must-see films of 2010, starring Filipino politicians!!!

    1.“Kung Ako Na Lang Sana” – starring Korina, Noynoy, Mar and Shalani

    2.“The Unfaithful” – with Gloria Arroyo, Gibo Teodoro and Manny Villar

    3.“Pera sa Kalsada” – Manny and Cynthia Villar

    4.“One More Chance” – featuring Joseph Estrada

    5.“Ang Pamana” (The Inheritance) – with Jejomar Binay, Junjun, Abigail and Elenita

    6.“Meet my Parents” – Noynoy Aquino (special participation of Ninoy and Cory)

    7.“The Three Stooges” – Lito Lapid, Bong Revilla, Tito Sotto

    8.“Kung Malaya Lang Ako” – Ariel Querubin, Danilo Lim

    Eto yung link, Idol PH: http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleid=56673

    🙂

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      1. i am not only good but ethical so i do not conduct operations for bribes or booze.
        and i have no problem charging those that can afford it more so that community medicine can be provided to those less fortunate.
        u sound like a rich bitch who should help others rather than do nothing with ur life.
        i would charge u an excessive price so that i can then help some decent people.
        but even i cannot change the minds of bigots

        Like

      3. dr. phil, would you mind telling me how long have you been in community development works? have you seen how people in poorest municipalities of our country lives? have you spent considerable time with them? do you consider giving them a longterm solutions for their problems rather than giving them temporary relief.

        tika, dapat bang ipangalandakan sa madla na tumululong sa ibang tao?

        i know of this really really rich guy in the visayas who is committed and spent a fortune in helping communities. but seldom you see his face or his initiatives in the print. if he’s in the community, the only way you can identify him from the locals is the color of his skin.

        Like

      1. hahaha ako? naka-dayapers? excuse me lang, hindi pa ha,

        nagcocomputer pa nga ako…

        at kinilig ka eddi, halatang-halata, at sige, para ako ang pinaka-

        matandang cupido sa balat ng lupa, pero teka lang muna ha, first

        of all, binata ka pa ba? hindi ko naman pinangarap na magiging

        sanhi ng pagkawasak ng family…

        hahaha abangan ang susunod na kabanata…

        at eddi whisper ulit ha at baka makarinig si etchos, i tell you, i tell

        you talaga, parang hindi ka na mahihirapan kay etchos pssstt

        but let me remind you again, kailangan malinis ang lahat, meaning,

        binata ka ha, don’t lie ha because liars will go to hell hahaha

        Like

  41. etchosera, first na, foremost pa, bakit ka ba nag aate/nagkukuya

    kay eddie, nakakabatang kapatid ka ba nya? hindi naman, kaya

    eddi na lang ang itawag mo sa kanya ok ba?

    second of all, bakit pahihirapan mo pa sarili mo sa pagmemaintan

    ng mga bilmokong pinoy kung may mga pinoy naman na madatung,

    halimbawa lang, isang engineer na naghuhukay ng langis sa disyerto,

    alam mo naman siguro ibig sabihin doon, ikaw pa, para na ring syang

    naghuhukay ng dolyares, at take notice ha, sagana sila sa tubig doon

    kahit na disyerto kaya nakapaligo sila araw-araw at yun ang importante,

    para amoy baby pag nakikipagdate…

    to be continued….

    Like

    Reply

    1. naku senior lolo, for once and for all (Bwahahahaha!), karapatan ko bilang cactus na tawagin kang lolo at Ate naman Si Ate Eddi! Di po yan ipinagbabawal at naaayon po yan sa saligang batas ng bansang YeahMen!
      Pero dahil po iginagalang ko na rin po kayo, masusunod po ang hinihiling nyo: sige, Eddi na nga lang.

      Second runner-up, sinabi ko bang nahihirapan ako at nagme-maintain ako ng fafang pinoy dito?

      For your FYI (Bwahahahaha ulit!)….. prim and proper noun po ako!

      Hmmmmp!

      And last but not the less (isa pa nga…Bwahahahaha!)….. CHE!

      Like

      Reply

  42. etchos, sa palagay mo, bakit nanahimik si eddi mo, i mean

    si eddi, ako, sa palagay ko, married sya, siempre natatakot

    yon sa mapupuntahan ng mga dapat mapuntahan ng mga liars..

    so, end of the budding love story?

    pero kailangan muna natin marinig ang kanyang panig, baka nag

    overtime lang sya, busy sa pag susupervise sa paghuhukay ng

    dolyares…

    Like

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      1. never will? huwag kang magsalita ng tapos at baka ma

        broken-hearted si etchos, hahaha etchos lang etchos…

        seriously though, hindi natin hawak ang ating kapalaran
        eddi kaya, malay natin….. of course, hindi si etchos ano,
        this is pure katuwaan lang naman, pampalipas oras ba..

        pero aminin, mukhang tinablan ka, lalo na si etchos hahaha

        Like

  44. Pingback: TROUBLES « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

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