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2010: YEAR IN REVIEW (Part 2)

21 12 2010

FROM CYBERSPACE…
Knock! Knock
Who’s there?
Civil War.
Civil War who?
Civil War ang tunay na mahirap. Civil War ang tunay na may malasakit.

Isa pa!
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Who’s there?
Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock! Who?
Knock! Knockaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura? Nagpasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?

And with that saksakan nang korning “Knock, Knock” joke, The Professional Heckler announces the year’s catchiest election-themed tune: ex-future President Manny Villar’s “Nakaligo ka na ba…” jingle. The song became overly popular, it even eclipsed the popularity of its candidate. In fact, kung ‘yong jingle ang pinatakbo sa pagkapangulo, baka ito pa ang nanalo! Pramis!

SPECIAL CITATIONS
Biggest Losers
– Manny Villar
– Mar Roxas

Biggest Shocker
– Jejomar Binay’s win against Mar Roxas
– Manny Villar’s third place finish
– The ‘acquittal’ of Hubert Webb et al.

Biggest “Hindi na namin ikinagulat!” News
– The defection of Lakas stalwarts to other parties
– The Noynoy Aquino-Shalani Soledad breakup
– The Kris Aquino-James Yap breakup
– The transfer of Willie Revillame to another station
– The loss of Jamby Madrigal in the presidential race

Biggest “Eh Ano Naman Ngayon?!” News a.k.a. So, What?!?
– The loss of Jamby Madrigal in the presidential race
– The return of Noli De Castro and Korina Sanchez to TV Patrol
– The Kris Aquino-James Yap breakup
– Lito Lapid’s proposed bill seeking to limit the weight of school bags
– Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho: Together Again (weh ano ngayon!)

Funniest Political Joke of the Year
– Vetellano Acosta

“Sumuko Ka Na, Napapaligiran Kita; Hindi Ako Susuko, Marami Ako” Award
– Fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson

“The Lord Has Failed Me! Not Just Once, But Twice!” Award
– Defeated presidential aspirant Bro. Eddie Villanueva

Bromance Statement of the Year
“Kapag nakulong siya, magpapakulong din ako. Magsama na lang kami sa oblo (loob).”
~Manila Vice Mayor Isko Moreno on embattled Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim

Most Irritating Tongue-Twisting Acronym
– N-D-R-R-M-C (National Disaster Risk Reduction Management Center)

Most Titillating Acronym
– TTMO (Traffic Transport Management Office of the Metro Manila Development Authority) TTMO rin!

The David Blaine ‘May Future ka sa Magic’ Award
– Alberto Lubang, the tourist bus driver who miraculously & mysteriously escaped by removing his handcuffs  using only a nail file. Sinapian yata ni Mother Ricky Reyes!

Most Overused Words/Phrases
– Taaamah!
– Major, major

Most Irritating Words
– Kapamilya
– Kapuso

2010: The Top 5 of Whatever! (Part II)
Noy & Kris.
Highs and lows.
Hits and misses.
Villains and heroes.
Idiots and geniuses.
Defective EOs.
They all made 2010 twice as exciting. And they also made it on our year-end list.

TOP 5 VILLAINS/VILLAINOUS MOMENTS

First Philippine Industrial Corporation
– For its crime against the environment. For putting the lives of West Tower condominium residents and the health of a whole barangay in Makati City in continuous peril. Ang kapal ng mukha n’yong mag-conclude na wala kayong pagkakamali ‘tapos mag-aalok kayo ng isandaang libong piso?!? Isaksak n’yo sa tubo n’yo!

DILG Undersecretary Rico E. Puno
– The shooting buddy with selective amnesia revealed that five groups were working to have him ousted. Apparently, he outfoxed all five of them. Ikaw na! As one columnist suggested, Rico E. Puno could very well be, albeit unofficially, President Aquino’s First Gentleman. Sweet!

The Local Media
– August 23. Hostage crisis. Nine lives. ‘Nuff said. [We will never forget.]

The Supreme Court
– For teaching us a strange lesson in honesty: Kahit kumopya ka pa nang kumopya, siguradong lulusot ka, basta’t walang malisya. Buwakanangina!

Asst. Sec. Carment ‘Mai’ Mislang
– #Ewan #ko #ba #naman #sa #yo #kung #bakit #sa #Vietnam #ka #pa #naghanap #ng #lalaki! #But #we #have #forgiven #you. #And #since #Christmas #naman #ngayon, #narito #ang #gift #namin #sa #yo: #isang #paalala #na #hindi #lahat #nang #araw #suwerte #ang #pagiging #cute. #CLICKHere.

Special Mention (Villains):
Delfin Lee and Globe Asiatique: “Chili con artist Prize.” Ang kapal din naman ng apog mong kasuhan ang PAG-IBIG. Naniniwala kami sa karma! Think Legacy’s Celso De Angeles! ‘Tsaka, a-ha! So anak mo pala ang socialite who’d always carry an Hermes bag. Now we know! #mahiyanamankayosapagflauntngyamannyo

TOP 5 HEROES

Commission on Elections /Smartmatic-TIM
– Sa kabila ng mahaba at tila walang katapusang pila sa mga presinto, nairaos nang matiwasay ang halalan. Ang tanong: kumusta na sina Ruffa Gutierrez at Cesar Flores? Eh sina Cesar Flores at Pia Cayetano? Wala lang.

Manny Pacquiao & Charice Pempengco
– Manny for his 8th world title and Charice for making it big in Hollywood – despite the Botox brouhaha. To Vicki Belo… boo!

University of the Philippines-National Institute of Geological Sciences (UP-NIGS)
– Sa pinuhunang sipag at tiyaga upang mahanap ang pinagmumulan ng tumatagas na langis sa Makati City: isinalba n’yo ang maraming buhay at ang isang buong pamayanan. Mabuhay!

Raissa Laurel, Bar Exams Blast Victim
– Sa iyong matapang na pagharap sa hamon ng buhay. Ikaw ang nagsilbing mukha ng bawat inosenteng biktima ng karahasan sa loob o labas man ng pamantasan. Padayon!

Justice Sec. Leila De Lima
– For being just. For being fair.

Special Mention:
Maria Venus Raj: Ipinaglaban mo ang iyong korona. Ipinaglaban mo ang iyong pagka-Pilipina. A fifth place finish was no mean feat. Pagpasensyahan mo na kung mean kami sa iyong major, major blunder sa Q&A portion. Ang mahalaga andun ka!

TOP 5 ‘BIGLANG SIKAT’ MOMENTS

The RP XI
Etheridge. Younghusband. Youngerhusband. Greatwich. Gier. De Jong. Araneta. Barsales, atbp. Thank you for lifting our spirits in December. The overachieving Azkals’ great run in the AFF Suzuki Cup did drum up our interest in football. And yes, the boys’ charm did drum up a generous businessman’s ‘interest’ in the sport too. In fairness.

Comelec Commissioner Gregorio Larrazabal
– The very affable and accommodating poll commissioner has become the favorite resource person among journalists. I’m sorry but… James Jimenez who? #intrigaYan!

Miko Morelos, Inquirer reporter
– The “almost” Grand Lotto winner was a victim of sheer ignorance. #magtagokana #anjanNAangMGAinaanakmo

Michael Rogas, RMN News
– What happens when a radio anchor attempts to become a hostage negotiator on-air, live nationwide? Michael Rogas happens. Boo!

PCSO’s Grand Lotto 6/55
– Utang na loob. Huwag na huwag kang magdi-deny. Tumaya ka rin sa 6/55 lotto draw, right? The biggest windfall in the history of Philippine lotto lured thousands of Filipinos to lottery outlets. In the end though, a New York-based balikbayan won the 741.1 million-peso jackpot! ‘Yun ay kung totoo ang claim ng PCSO. Malay natin. Hmpf! #bitterOcampo #ampalaya

Special Mention (Biglang Sikat):
The Precinct Count Optical Scan or PCOS machine

TOP 5 “OUCH! I GOT IGNORED” MOMENTS

President Aquino and Chief Justice Renato Corona
– Because Corona was a “midnight appointee” of ex-president GMA, Aquino refused to take his oath before him. Instead, he announced that a barangay captain in Tarlac was prepared to swear him in. But the law doesn’t allow that and Noynow doesn’t know the law. Toingggkk! Thus, another justice had to administer his oath at Quirino Grandstand. But the Cold Wave Pagoda Lotion treatment didn’t stop there. During his inaugural address, the newly installed president did not acknowledge the presence of the Chief Jutice. Supladito!

The Philippines and the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony
– Salamat sa presidenteng nahalal sa demokratikong paraan, ang Pilipinas ay napabilang sa talaan ng mga bansang nabahag ang buntot sa autoritaryang China at hindi sumipot sa Nobel Peace Prize ceremonies sa Oslo, Norway. Wow, ito lang naman ang mga kaliga nating bansa: Tunisia, Serbia, Iraq, Morocco, Egypt, Sudan, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, at Kazakhstan. Eh bakit ‘di na lang kaya natin palitan ang pangalan ng Pilipinas? How about Cowardstan? O kaya Sunudsunuransachinastan?

Vice President Binay and the DILG portfolio
– In a last ditch effort to bag the DILG post, Binay visited Times Street in June. But Noynoy won’t offer him the post. So what did Binay tell the media? “I am not going to accept any Cabinet post!” Tampo much? Makalipas ang dalawang linggong pagmumukmok at paghilom sa nasugatang ego, Binay accepted the post of HUDCC chair (housing czar). Three months later, he was also named presidential adviser on overseas Filipino workers’ concerns. ‘Yan ba ang ayaw sa cabinet post? Dala-dalawa! At take note, ang vice president meron na ring pork barrel! Sa’n ka pa!

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao
– Pacman keeps giving in to his demands and yet, Floyd Jr won’t agree to a megabuck fight. Wala ka talagang bay*g! Teka, hindi mo maiintindihan, so I’ll have to say it in English: You know what Mayweather? Duwag ka! Toingkk!

Liz Uy and Noynoy Aquino
– The lady formerly known as John Lloyd Cruz’s girlfriend was just not that into the man formerly known as Shalani Soledad/Korina Sanchez/Barbara Milano/Bernadette Sembrano and 14 others’ boyfriend. Ending: he got dumped. The dating just stopped. Malacañang explained Liz’s and the President’s schedules wouldn’t just match. Utot!

TOP 5 BIGGEST DUDS

August 23 Manila hostage crisis rescue
– With Isko Moreno as president, and a radio anchor as chief negotiator, magtataka pa ba kayo kung bakit pumalpak?

Executive Sec. Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa
– EO No. 1 pa lang, sablay na, may defective amnesty list pa. Subukan n’yong hanapin ang salitang “palpak” sa bagong bersyon ng illustrated Filipino dictionary at katabi nito ang larawan ni Ochoa.

May 10, 2010 Failure of Elections Scenario
– Maraming natakot. Maraming nagduda. Maraming kumuwestyon sa kakayahan ng Comelec at Smartmatic/TIM na pangasiwaan ang kauna-unahang automated elections sa bansa. Sorry, SABLAY kayong lahat! Tagumpay ang eleksyon! Everyone hailed the polls as credible, with the exception perhaps of defeated Quezon City mayoral candidate Annie “Two Flash Cards” Susano. Columnist Conrado De Quiros and lawyer Harry Roque, two of the more vocal critics of the Comelec automation project even apologized for predicting disaster. Ikaw na!

DOT’s Tourism Campaign Logo
– Goodbye 5 million pesos! Polska… Kay Ganda!

Manny V. Pangilinan’s Ateneo Graduation Speech
– Dahil kinopya pala niya ang ilang bahagi ng talumpati ng mga kilalang tao sa mundo gaya nina Obama, Oprah, JK Rowling at Conan O’Brien, na-imbyerna hindi lamang ang mga Atenista kundi ang libu-libong taong humahanga sa nag-iisang MVP. Tumanggi si Ateneo de Manila University president Fr. Bienvenido Nebres na tsugiin siya sa Board of Trustees ngunit dahil may delicadeza ang inyong lola, nagsumite ito ng irrevocable resignation. Bongga!

Special Mention (Biggest Duds):
– ABS-CBN’s “Pilipinas, Win na Win”
– GMA 7’s ‘Asar Talo Laging Panalo’ hosted by ex-future vice president Edu Manzano
– Malacanang’s handling of HK Executive Donald Tsang’s call during the Luneta hostage crisis
Secretary Coloma: Si Donald Tsang tumawag??? I seriously doubt that.
Secretary Carandang: Yes, he did.
President Aquino: Hindi ako kinatok sa meeting.
[Samakatuwid, kasalanan ng pinto. Punyetang pinto ‘yan, hindi man lang nagsalita.]

TOP 5 “PANSININ N’YO NAMAN AKO” MOMENTS
Kris Aquino on The Buzz (March 14)
– 5:45PM Araw ng Linggo. Dalawang buwan bago ang eleksyon. Sa kalagitnaan ng mainit na kampanya, ito ang bumungad sa ating mga telebisyon:
“Masakit po sa akin dahil ginagamit ako para sirain ang pamilya ko. E, nagbago naman po ako, e. Hindi naman po ako ang tumatakbo. Sige na ho gamitin n’yo na ako kung gusto n’yo talagang sirain si Noy. Kung ako na lang ang kasiraan ni Noy, sige gamitin n’yo po ako. Minamahal po namin ang bayan natin kaya po lahat ng ito pinagdadaanan namin.”
Excuuuuuuuuze me but WHO rattled your cage? It’s as if ikaw lang ang bukod tanging kinawawa, inalipusta, siniraan, tinira-tira, inapi-api, at inaapak-apakan noong halalan. And you know what’s more annoying? We enjoyed it! We enjoyed every second of your hysterics, your histrionics, your dramatics! Lahat ng iyong -ics! Nakakainis ka! ‘Nyeta!

Marlene Aguilar-Pollard a.k.a. Jason Ivler’s mother
Pieta? Kunsintidora? Kayo na ang humusga! Kung hindi pa n’yo siya kilala, heto po siya: si Marlene Aguilar-Pollard…

Koala Boy
– In a Congressional hearing last May, “alias Robin” a.k.a. Koala Boy exposed the alleged massive election fraud during the May 10 automated elections. That hearing in Congress was also the biggest gathering of losers in recent history. It also marked the first time that a marsupial visited a crocodile farm.

Nanay Curing Villar
– It was one of the lowest points of the Villar campaign: turning a rocking chair-stuck octogenarian into campaign paraphernalia. How could you people!? Seriously, how could you?!

Sharon Cuneta
– Last July, she publicly aired her gripe against her Tito Sen (Sotto) and pareng Bong Revilla for not supporting husband Kiko Panglinan’s bid for the Senate presidency. Also in July, she reportedly confronted Piolo Pascual with regard to an issue involving daughter KC Concepcion. Last month, she took a swipe at Aga Muhlach during a Big Dome concert of Ai-Ai De Las Alas. And just last week, her name got dragged into the Sarah Geronimo-Cristine Reyes quarrel. Kaya mga kababayan, personal na po akong umaapela at nananawagan sa inyo. Parang awa n’yo na po, pansinin n’yo naman siya. Please lang. Salamat po.

THE YEAR IN PHOTOS

“WTF Are We Doing” Moment of the Year
– The bungled rescue of the Hong Kong tourists as seen worldwide. Ang maso, bow!

“That’s Just Awkward” Moment of the Year
– President Aquino and former President Arroyo in the longest limousine ride of their lives

Ewwww Photo of the Year
– Earlier this year, VP candidate Jejomar Binay bravely admitted he once had an illicit affair. Despite these photos, parang ayaw ko pa ring maniwala. Pero nand’yan na eh. So tanggapin na lang natin. Ganu’n talaga ang buhay eh. Minsan, may mga pangyayaring hindi maipaliwanag kahit ng siyensya.

Worst Election Campaign Giveaway
– Hindi na siya natuto! Matapos mamahagi ng bracelets sa lamay ni former President Aquino, akalain mong mamigay pa noong kampanya! For someone as filthy rich as her, that’s beyond cheap. That’s cheapipay!

SPECIAL MEDIA AWARDS
Experiment of the Year:
– Radyo Singko (TV5): The former MRS 92.3; JOEY@92.3; 923-JOEY, and 92.3XFM ushered in a new era in radio broadcasting: AM programming in the FM band. Mehhhh ganun?!?

Breakthrough Radio Tandem of the Year
– Alvin Elchico and Lynda Jumilla, SRO (DZMM/ABS-CBN)

Media Comeback of the Year
– Noli De Castro, DZMM and TV Patrol (ABS-CBN)

“Nabulabog ang Newsroom Dahil sa Ginawa Niya” Award
– Maria Ressa and her decision to resign as head of ABS-CBN News

“Kakapusin Ka ng Hininga sa Sobrang Haba ng Extro” Award
– “Walang kinikinilingan, walang pinuprotektahan, walang kasinungalingan, walang bahid-pulitika, serbisyong totoo lang” (GMA News)

“Inggit Ka Lang sa Ganda Ko” Award
~ Trish Roque (TV 5). For keeping her cool when CHR Commissioner Coco Quisumbing humiliated her in front of fellow journalists

“Dude, You’re Wet. No, Dude I’m Alive!” Award
– Niko Baua (ABS-CBN) and Emil Sumangil (GMA7). Isang pagkilala sa kanilang katapangan matapos tumaob ang sinasakyan nilang motorboat habang nangangalap ng impormasyon hinggil sa oil spill sa Limay, Bataan noong Hulyo.

“Ipinahamak ako ng Tears for Fears” Award
– TJ “beat.the.heat” Manotoc (ABS-CBN) – For being observant even during concerts. And what did he observe? Right click here..

“Wala Nang Mas Hahaba pa sa Pangalan Ko” Award
– Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeve Dailisan (GMA News)

And finally,
“My brother is not a pig! My brother is not a piiig!” Award
– Radio reporter Dennis Datu (DZMM/ABS-CBN) For having the guts to say NO to the “advances” of CHR Commissioner Coco Quisumbing.  Ayon kay Quisumbing, sa restroom na lang daw siya kapanayamin ni Dennis dahil nagmi-make-up pa siya. Anong palagay niya kay Dennis? Si Fanny Serrano!?!
——————————-
“Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.”
~John Quinton

Survey Says
Sino ang dapat tanghaling Filipino of the Year for 2010?
– President Noynoy Aquino 14.5%
– DOJ Sec. Leila De Lima 20.54%
– Manny Pacquiao 41.09%
– Charice Pempengco 12.08%
– Other: 11.78%

Personal
Uy! Twitter followers, na-mention tayo rito! So next Saturday, let’s have another game. If you want to have some fun anytime between 9 and 11:30PM every Saturday you’re welcome to join us. But first, you’ve got to follow me on Twitter and that’s dangerous.

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Happy Holidays!

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80 responses

21 12 2010
blueheart

YOU’RE THE BEST MR.HECKLER!..astig ka talaga!..hehe

Like

21 12 2010
rojan88

wahahahahaha. astig ka idol, sobrang tawa ko ng tawa, pati yung katabi ko dito sa office nasita ako, kung nababaliw na daw ako. hehehe. hindi ka nagbuhat ng bangko sa sinabi mo sa twitter nakaktawa at nakaktuwa talaga tong post na to. hehehe..agree with the SRO award. :-), yung sa mahabng name award di mo yata namention si charlie mendowwwwwwwwwza. hehehe. favorite mo talga si krissy no. hehehe. pero nakaktuwa naman talaga sya, she’s a great subject. hehehe. keep it up idol, looking forward to more heckling next year. :-). thanks for making us laugh many times. 🙂

Like

21 12 2010
Will

Haha, as usual tawa ako ng tawa.

Steeeeeeeeve Dailisan. Hahahaha!

Like

22 12 2010
derdo

I always watch out for it when he ends his report. But sometimes he forgets to pronounce it in his own unique manner, nakaka disappoint.

You’re so funny, PH. Nothing escapes you.

Like

21 12 2010
Tessa

I havent finished reading the entire post yet pero natawa nako sa ‘Noy not knowing the law’ part! May kasama pang toingk! Hahahaha

Like

21 12 2010
khanto

Iba talaga ang year-ender report. ansarap balikan ng mga kaganapan basta ikaw gumawa. 😀

Like

22 12 2010
professionalheckler

meh ganun!? (ginaya si mr fu) 🙂 THANKS.

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21 12 2010
kinwash

‘nyeta! <-i will never get over this and kris's whatever pic… panalo ka sa SGSG AWard or better known as sobrang gulong sa ground award… getting introduced to your website is one of the best things that happened to me this year. made me enjoy news/current events even more! idol na kita. bukas magsasacrifice ako ng virgin in your honor (which is very difficult to find these days sana, meron sa palengke).

Like

22 12 2010
professionalheckler

hhahahahaah! funnneeee!

Like

22 12 2010
kinwash

ngreply ka. wow! #hyperventilating. #masyadongnatuwa. at dahil first (or second #ulyaninlang) post ko to naniniwala na ako sa #beginnersluck. thanks thanks at kahit papano natuwa ka. #shetsipsip #ditalagaakoganitosatunaynabuhay.

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22 12 2010
eddibumangon

subukan mong mamili doon sa 18 past gfs, baka meron.

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22 12 2010
eddibumangon

kung wala, i’m sure di si pnoy may kagagawan.

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21 12 2010
kinwash

sa sobrang excitement sa first comment ko… ayun nagkamali sa paglagay ng comma. napunta after sana eh dapat before sana. ayun OC lang. xnxa na. 🙂

Like

21 12 2010
PLS

Awesome as usual. I shouldn’t have clicked the Marlene Aguilar link though. Now excuse me while I go bleach my eyes.

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22 12 2010
eddibumangon

totoo ba ang pic na ‘to o edited lang?

Like

22 12 2010
chiwee

hey PH! how I love this post! nice nice nice nice nice…super nice. 🙂
happy holidays and thanks so much for a giving me a great year reading, commenting, sometimes just lurking when busy, but most of time, answering your surveys. 🙂

Like

22 12 2010
chihuahua

thanks PH for making me laugh! ur DaBest!

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22 12 2010
eddibumangon

hahaha. maliban sa limousine ride, wala pa rin si GMA. hula ko buong part 3 dedicated sa kanya…either that or napagsabihan talaga ni Lord si Mr. PH.

Like

22 12 2010
eddibumangon

Most Irritating Words
– Kapamilya
– Kapuso

Mr. PH’ Favorite Word
-Punyeta

Like

22 12 2010
promdi

Most malapit nang maging irritating word award : – Kapatid

Like

22 12 2010
Paul

Just realized from this entry that Kris Aquino and Marlene Aguilar are similar in many ways including their hunger for attention and sense of decency

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22 12 2010
Paul

With the speed PNoy set aside human rights which are the very foundation of government to please China, yes we sound change the country’s name to “Sunudsunuransachinastan”.

Like

22 12 2010
hikatalomato

how about phlipsakastan (land of the flips) nang sa gayon di na kailangang palitan ang country code top-level domain natin na .ph

Like

22 12 2010
emong_dakuskos

idol medyo bitin po spelling ng “breakthrough” sa tambalang alvin and lynda. nevertheless isa na namang wapak!!! na post. go go go for number 4 blog award sa 2011!!!!

Like

22 12 2010
senior60

whew ang haba…

mister heckler, nakakaawa ka naman, aba, hindi na biro
itong ginagawa mo ha, habang ang lahat ay nagsasaya, ikaw
busy na busy sa kakasulat, bakit, sinesweldohan ka ba namin?

give yourself a break, ok? huwag ka ng mag part 3, instead,
go and party….

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22 12 2010
professionalheckler

hahaha wala nang part 3 unless sipagin ako for a xmas post!

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22 12 2010
eddibumangon

KJ talaga si lolo, inaabangan ko pa naman yung part 3 na puro ke GMA.:-(

Joke! Go ahead and enjoy the holidays Mr. PH.

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23 12 2010
Sarit Bantuchan

Ayaw mo lumevel kay Ai-Ai para last na to for this year ang title mo. 😀

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22 12 2010
dan

@ senior60:

…sablay ang “reverse psychology” kay PH. since bawal ang paputok sa bangkal, pwede na sna i-print n lng blog tpos pabasa ng sabay2… solve na new year.

enjoy mo holidays PH, pra ganado k next year at kami nman ang maging happy.

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22 12 2010
promdi

touched naman ako for your very endearing concern. , feeling like nanay! ikaw lang who prefered to be human, at this point in time! kakatouch, kakabilib, promise!

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22 12 2010
promdi

this “touched” comment is for senior, by the way… na-missed ko i-tag. ha ha!

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22 12 2010
Hayden ako

Hi, babe. For all the heckling, its an honor that we are mentioned. Luv u, babe! Luv u, PH.

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22 12 2010
Becky Vilo

Hay naku Babe, namumuro na talaga sa akin ang PH na yan!
Grrrrrrr! Lagi na lang ako ang napapansin.

Di kaya may gusto siya sa akin? Hmmmp!
Pwes… di ko keri ang klase ng pagpapapansin nya, if ever.

Baket? Environmentalist ba siya at kung maka-asta eh parang galit na galit siya sa mga plastic?

Pati ang tabatchinang si Shawie ay napagdidiskitahan din!

Ay!

Hi Mega! The press talaga, no? Misquoted lang ako. I didn’t say you’re fat. I only said you should visit my clinic eh. No insinuations whatsoever… promise!

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23 12 2010
hayden ako

Babe, ang puso mo ingat. Huwag masyado magalit. PH is not worth it. Gusto mo ako nalang magalit para sa iyo? Di kasi nag chi-change ang expression ng mukha mo pag galit ka. Pati nga sa mga maliligayang sandali natin wala man lang sign ang mukha mo na abot mo na ang rorok ng kaibuturan.

Peace, babe. Sa bahay tayo sa 24 ha!?

Like

23 12 2010
Becky Vilo

How could you forget Babe, sa Clinic tayo on the 24th, di ba?

We gotta do what we gotta do while the aides are away for the holidays!

We have to fix that butt of yours again….. nawawala na naman ang umbok eh. Dyan pa naman patay na patay ang mga girls sayo! At di ba nga, yan ang MAS pinag-usapan nung mga nakapanood ng videos mo!

Hey, don’t give me that look Babe! Alam na naman ng lahat ang iyong “shortcomings”!

I got a new injectable silicon here…. proven safe by the Department of Interiors. Ikaw ang unang paggagamitan ko neto. Afterwards, we’ll do the pictorials of the results and ilalagay ulit natin sa mga Billboards! I can imagine now: dadagsa na naman sa aking mga clinic ang maraming showbiz customers! Business is good!

I’m sure, when your billboard comes out, makakalimutan din nila yung mga naging kaso mo. You’ll be the talk of the town again… in a different way!

Like

23 12 2010
Atom Hingarest

Kapal talaga ng mukha nyong dalawa!
Hmmpp!!!

Like

24 12 2010
Hayden ako

Ok, babe. I am at your beck and call. Pinansin mo pa “shortcoming” ko, doon naman kita napaligaya. ahehe!

Atom, manipis pa mukha ko noh! Hindi pa ito na retoke. Pabayaan mu nga kami ng mommy mo kung dito kami maligaya!

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22 12 2010
Ginalyn

entertaining, funny, informative (?!?)……at 2am in Saudi, I still am laughing and enjoying your comments. Thanks for making life a bit funnier. Looking forward for more……

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22 12 2010
professionalheckler

Sabah il Kheer ! meri xmas!

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22 12 2010
Gett Baladad

goleng goleng mo naman PH!! Natawa ako sa post na to, lalo na sa pic ni Kris. WOOSHOO! More power to you!

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22 12 2010
rainer_gonzalo

Quisumbing could be another Miriam Santiago in the making.

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22 12 2010
hikatalomato

i agree with professional heckler. may mga bagay na hindi kayang ipaliwanag ng siyensya. for example: ang pagdami ng b*kla samantalang di naman sila nanganganak.

hey cat, are you g*y? why are you not typing the whole word?

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22 12 2010
ching

hahahah… sarap naman basahin parang agahan na… #cheeesy!
nice talaga as in… tawa ako ng tawa! hahahah..
and di mo talaga pinalampas c BFF TJ “beat the heat” MANOTOC mo hah! heheh
more power!

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22 12 2010
Onyx

Now this is wayyyyyy beyond hilarious! Thank you heckler!

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22 12 2010
ronnieR

Oh no! I think I need to see a psychiatrist. Na-arouse ako sa picture ni marlene aguilar

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23 12 2010
Ivler

No, you need an optometrist!

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22 12 2010
chumliit

grabe,plagi ko na nasasabi ang nyeta at leche flan.haha
i like knock-knock jokes.yan ang ngboost ng dull sense of humor ko.
pero mr.heckler,the best ka tlga.haha 🙂 kaluguran da nka tlga.haha

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22 12 2010
kapalmuks

this i likey…hindi bitin at may ksamang bad words pa…

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22 12 2010
hacktuary

bravura performance! the sequel was better than the original.

you continue to be at the top of your game although medyo naturn-off ako sa pag-hype mo sa sarili mong post sa twitter (there are alternicks if you want to fly kites). but i knew this would be a great post after those great knock-knocks at the beginning.

now, let’s all hold our breath and brace ourselves for those who will steal this material for themselves in their own year-end columns.

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22 12 2010
hacktuary

and.. i just re-read and noticed that the knock-knock jokes are marked ‘from cyberspace’ and thus not penned by you. still, a rolicking good way to start off.

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22 12 2010
als85

i love it! hahaha nice post again Mr. PH!

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22 12 2010
lucienne

KALADLAWAN GID! merry christmas PH! 🙂

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22 12 2010
etchosera

Ewwww Photo of the Year!

Juicemio PH! Sapul na sapul mo……azz in!

Kahit ang Supreme Court, mahihirapang maniwala dito!

Bwahahahahahaha!

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22 12 2010
promdi

Congrats on the super-lengthy, super-meaty, super-siksik hodgepodge na ito PH! the height of fecundity and profusion of the mind in the midst of yuletide humdrums and tinkerbells!

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22 12 2010
beatster

I love you PH as much as I hate Krazy Aquino. But Im still looking forward of KA’s post when you’re making fun of her – as she rightfully deserved
PS. Marlene Aguilar is so filthy gross & or just simply grotesque – yikes & yuck!!!

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22 12 2010
pihikan chronicles

basta, lets support azkals… weeeeeee!

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23 12 2010
promdi

If Manny Paquiao is to boxing and Efren “Bata” Reyes is to billiard (for lighting up our zest for their respective sports), yes, the Azcals is to football. We used to see the game only on tv mostly with the Western players and hardly took interest in it the way we thrilled to billiards and now Manny’s boxing. Thanks to the ongoing AFF Suzuki Cup, the Azcals is a now a bunch to watch; and the stir that these good-looking and fired-up young men are now creating may surprisingly find football a relished spot in our local sports map. Go-go-go!

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23 12 2010
senior60

na iimagine ko lang kasi promdi ( talagang w/o CA ha? ) kung

gaano nag ‘susunog ng kilay ‘ si mister heckler over a cup of ,

ano kayang favorite nya?

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23 12 2010
senior60

sorry @eddi ha, pero di ba napansin natin na ‘ nagmumura ‘

na si mister heckler these past few posts? dala lang siguro

yan ng stress sa kaka ‘ sunog ng kilay ‘ ..

at napansin mo din ba na si @etchosera ay lady-like na ang

mga past few posts? of course, alam mo ang dahilan uuyyyy

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23 12 2010
etchosera

wrong observation Lolo Senior60.

Kung lady like ako, aba eh wala nang matatawag na macho! Ahihihihihi!

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23 12 2010
senior60

“That’s Just Awkward” Moment of the Year

in fairness kay noynoy, hindi na sya ngayon nagnganganganga

at naglalalaway, thanks to liz uy dahil parte siguro yun ng kanyang

trabaho…

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23 12 2010
a

Paano naging matiwasay ang eleksyon eh ang dami ngang d nakaboto dahil sa tagal? Ayan tuloy puro kabobohan ang kinalabasan! Ang binoto ng mga katulong na pinaunang pabotohin ng mga amo!

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23 12 2010
etchosera

Masyado mo namang dini-degrade ng mga “kasambahay”.

’nuff said!

Hmmmmmp!

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23 12 2010
a

Ang tagal naman ng botohan nyang survey mu, sino ba ang inaantay mong manalo?

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23 12 2010
eddibumangon

demanding much? magkano ba binabayad mo kay PH? masahol ka pa kay mislang… o baka naman siya ay ikaw!

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23 12 2010
ling

Where is Maria Venus Raj? Major, major yung feat niya.

And don’t forget the Robin Padilla-Mariel Rodriguez brouhahahahaha!

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23 12 2010
maliititik_O

happy new year and more insane postings

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23 12 2010
Huh???

Why is Delfin Lee and company not on the top 5 lists of villains? The large scale scam done with our money surely deserves a spot there.

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23 12 2010
professionalheckler

oh my. i totally missed that chili con artist guy. thank u so much. he’s there na!

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23 12 2010
etchosera

Considering all the laughs we shared dito sa blog ni PH, here’s a sincere wish coming straight from my cholesterol laden heart:

YOU ALL HAVE A MEANINGFUL YULETIDE SEASON!

I thoroughly enjoyed the posts, as well as the asaran, the kulitan and most especially the exchange of kababawans nating mga readers.

Dun sa mga seryoso naman…….. go find a Hospital! Bwahahahaha!

To PH, a gazzillion thanks for always making me LOL! May the ONE up there continue to bless you with wit, humor and the zest to share them with your readers!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

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23 12 2010
Maxlip

Merry Christmas etchos!
Happy Holidays PH!

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23 12 2010
justanotherinsomniac

Haha. What a year!

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23 12 2010
nethead

PH, I adore you’re “coined” words like NYETA & LECHE (flan) – so aptly / well suite for a “local shoobiz creature” named Kris(hit) Aquino.

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23 12 2010
Ging

What a year!!

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23 12 2010
mbw

Have a Merry Christmas PH and all the commenters here!

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23 12 2010
kinwash

i just wanna add before i forget. Muntik na ako masuka sa pic ni VP Binay. #walalang

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24 12 2010
amateur heckler

I believe TV Patrol of ABS-CBN deserves an award from TPH. When they report a gruesome accident or murder I cannot understand why their reporters say the following:
“Pasintabi po sa mga kumakain. Ang sususnod na video ay naglalaman ng maselan na larawan na hindi angkop sa mga batang nanonood. Patnubay ng mga magulang ay kinakailangan”. Or words to that effect.
When the video is shown, it is all blured or pixelized from start to finish and we see NOTHING!!!! Ginagago ba nyo kami?

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26 12 2010
attyarj

you forgot to mention the Mariel and Robin affair cum telenovela in the whatever/eh ano category. that, for me, is the best “tantanan nyo na/nakaka-sulasok moment”

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29 12 2010
joyceanneabs

super funny yet informing!

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22 01 2011
2010: YEAR IN REVIEW (Part 2) « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] rest is here: 2010: YEAR IN REVIEW (Part 2) « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Gloria and tagged aquino, country, human-rights, know-the-law, oath, […]

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