LEAKS


New Date?
Reports say President Aquino dated a new girl at Rockwell Center in Makati City very recently. The new date was identified as Len Lopez, a stockbroker – not to be confused with Liz Uy, the heartbreaker.

A tabloid columnist criticized Ballsy Aquino-Cruz for her frequent TV interviews on President Aquino’s love life. Apparently, the tabloid writer was not aware that Ballsy’s the head of the “search” committee.


Wikileaks
I’m sure you’ve heard about Wikileaks. When President Aquino first heard about it, he was like, “Let’s not waste time! Go ask those UP experts to find the leaks.”

Not everyone has read or heard about Wikileaks. For instance, when President Aquino first heard about the controversial leaks, he got so concerned he told his legal team to immediately ask the Supreme Court to issue a writ of kalikasan.

When finally told about the Wikileaks background, President Aquino expressed concern over the release of thousands of documents online. The President has expressed even more concern when his secret Rockwell date became public.

Wikileaks has uploaded thousands of classified documents on its website including some 1,796 diplomatic cables from the US Embassy in Manila. President Aquino has reportedly expressed concern over the leaks. Presidential Communications Secretary Herminio Coloma said if the documents were uploaded on Facebook, it would have been much easier to shut it down.

WikiLeaks is a website that gathers information that are not so supposed to be made public, and yet, they release it online so the whole world could read it. The Philippine Daily Inquirer has a term for that: socialite.

The Lacson Case
Fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson releases a statement saying he’d surrender only if the government drops the case against him. But the government says Lacson is not in a position to make such demands… unless he’s inside a bus with dozens of Hong Kong tourists.

Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has given an NBI elite team an ultimatum to locate fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson. If they fail, De Lima will just seek the help of UP experts to “find” the senator.

On Thursday, fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson released a statement saying he’d rather die than surrender to authorities. This just in: Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has just rejected Erwin Tulfo’s offer to negotiate.

At press time, fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson has yet to surface. Who the hell does Lacson think he is, the grand lotto winner?


Call Center Leader
The Philippines has reportedly overtaken India as the world’s call center capital. Sought for reaction, a call center agent said, “Ov course, ‘yan ey meygandahng baleetah. Good for uz, you know!”

Reports say the Philippines has overtaken India in terms of number of call center employees this year… which automatically makes the Philippines No. 1 in terms of stress-related illnesses.
——————————
“A small leak can sink a great ship.”
~Benjamin Franklin

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Briefly Noted
Former Vice President Noli De Castro’s opening line, TV Patrol (Thursday, Dec. 2):
“Magandang gabi bayan! Hinostage ng isang lalaki at pinagsasaksak ng labingwalong beses ang kanyang live-in partner…” Wow, magandang gabi nga!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

101 thoughts on “LEAKS”

  1. Good day, Mr. PH!
    Talagang fan po ako ng political jokes ninyo. I hope you’ll have a TV show soon – a la David Letterman!
    Anyway, nagtataka lang po ako bakit sobrang atensyon ang binibigay ng media sa mga pakikipag-date g Presidenteng ito. At mukha namang nag-eenjoy si Noynoy sa kanyang “The Bachelor” treatment na nakukuha.
    Gaya ng sinabi ng ilang nag-comment sa blog na ito before, dapat 25 years a go pa nya inatupag ang mga yan para hindi nasasayang ang oras ng bansa ngayong presidente na sya.

    Like

      1. i agree with PH that he’s better read than heard. prang tipo siya ni ricky lo na very profound in written works. however, when they talk, something is lacking. hav u seen PH as a contestant in a game show? i’ve watched him then and there was something deep inside me that left unsatisfied. in fairness kay PH muntik n nga siyang manalo e napagtulungan lng.

        still, i salute PH sa writing niya. reliable and informative.

        Like

  2. On Noli de Castro’s vintage welcome spiels: “Magandang gabi bayan! Hinostage ng isang lalaki at pinagsasaksak ng labingwalong beses ang kanyang live-in partner…” Wow, magandang gabi nga! Yea; that justifies one statement i came across running like… “Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t… Boo Chanco wrote in his SUPPLY & DEMAND Philstar column last September. Nga ano? why can’t news orgs headline the good news more than the bad? well, plain and simple: because the former don’t sell; the latter does. it’s pinoy or human nature ba to shock himself with the worse coming his way everyday? have we gotten so sadistic or masochistic, or both at the same time? mahaba-habang inuman, bago maresolba ‘yan! ask media; ask the values predators!

    Like

  3. Wikileaks
    “I’m sure you’ve heard about Wikileaks. When President Aquino first heard about it, he was like, “Let’s not waste time! Go ask those UP experts to find the leaks.”
    In fairness, the UP expert “leak-finders” deserve to be commended for discovering the protracted, most elusive leaks in the now famous West Tower condominium in Makati. While the Lopez owned FPIC spent $2million hiring foreign consultants to do the thing and yet yielded disappointing results, our UP experts made it, after a long, tedious, painstaking, and highly skilled process (all of their own). Belated hats off to the team of Director Carlo Arcilla of the National Institute of Geological Sciences, UP Diliman.) Although the case is now proceeding to another long story of rectification and voluminous recovery of loss, we ponder on the afterthoughts of Dir. Arcilla re what he calls “lessons learned”; to wit; “Perhaps one of the most important lessons we can learn from this catastrophe is to correct our tendency for overdependence on foreign consultants even in the face of glaring contrary evidence.”

    Like

      1. ito ang nabasa ko:
        “ACTING QUEERLY: Senator-in-hiding Panfilo “Ping” Lacson should stop that cat-and-mouse game and come out to face the double murder charges against him.

        The senator and former police general is not gaining any sympathy by accusing the justice system of being unfair to him even before the courts gain jurisdiction over him and start hearing the charges.

        A real man who is innocent will not run away and hide. Seething with righteous anger, he will step forward, confront his accusers, and then and there publicly and vehemently demonstrate his innocence.

        While we must presume Lacson’s innocence at the outset, most reasonable men, I dare say, find his evasive behavior queer.”
        http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=636287&publicationSubCategoryId=64

        i think the nbi who raided that compound to look for Ping failed to see him because they forgot one thing. they did not look for him in the closet.

        Like

  4. “Fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson releases a statement saying he’d surrender only if the government drops the case against him.”

    So arrogant of Mr. Lacson. I think he should be stripped of his position because he is an insult to the institution he represents. I agree that he takes some hostages so we can have an excuse to execute him.

    Like

  5. What does P-not’s PR men trying to show pinoys? That Pnot is not gay that’s why he’s been dating? So what? Yan nlang ba kaya nyang gawin after 5pm? Insiders from the palace say they are getting the shock of their lives whenever Pnot is checking out after 5pm. He thinks that presidency is an 8 to 5 job???

    Or another reason might be they are making pakilig the people again. Parang teleserye na powerful man meets ordinary girl thing. Pang Showbiz ang laro nila.. Stupid PR men…stupid cabinet secretaries…stupid spokesperson…laht n lang pinaglalaruan…para clang nagbabahay bahayan sa palasyo…what do we expect? These people are a bunch of lightweights…kawawang bansa…tsk..tsk..

    Like

  6. give p-noy a break.
    he has been working hard cutting the ribbon for a burger joint and pressing a button at a new ibm plant.
    he deserves some fantasy love life.
    he must bore them into submission.
    a pity that he worries more about his lack of hair and his lack of a love life, rather than the lack of food and money of his voters.
    and why does he waste money on a personal stylist when his only decision is – do i wear a white shirt or a white shirt.
    obviously she wasnt personal enough.
    now fantasy stockmarket.
    i think p-noys stock is going down.

    Like

  7. What does Pnot’s PR men trying to circulate thru the media? That Pnot is not gay that is why he is dating women? Is that the only thing he could do after 5 pm? Insiders from the palace are getting the shock of their lives whenever Pnot is checking out after 5 pm? He thinks presidency is an 8 to 5 job???
    Or maybe they are trying to make pakilig the citizenry with ala teleserye story of a powerful man-meets- ordinary girl thing. These bunch of lunatics are full of showbiz gimmickry. What do we expect from the likes of Abunda and Kris, the STD Queen, as Pnot’s close-in advisers?
    Senator Miriam is always right in her assessment. Pnot’s men are mere lightweights…they are playing bahay-bahayan in the palace from 8 til 5, then kanya kanyang esquierda to their hang outs after 5….poor Philippines…

    Like

      1. could be, as I’ve said before if your 50 years old, notorious mama’s boy, into guns, hotdogs, young boys and fond of hanging out with his drinking buddies, all we have to do is read between the lines, sabagay may mas libog pa relasyon ni Noynoy kay Ricky Caranandang compared to the alleged girlfriends..

        or, the Administration i pushing for a ZTE like deal that needs to be hidden from the public, or the issue is used to divert the public’s attention from the ineptitude this government has symbolized

        Like

  8. How dare one respectable broadsheet make Pinoy’s dating a headline? Whah! Has its news desk ever thought of what the Bulusan folks would feel (for all they care!) seeing their crops wither and their animals, both farm and pets die each day due to suffocating effects of spewed ashes and lahar flows now tormenting Sorsogon? What about the families of the Ampatuan victims needing swift justice, the morong 43 languishing in detention for suspended time? And there you are… a nation’s president getting busy dating one girl after the other kuno at that! (no matter how much later after 5!; wala syang pribilehiyong ganun, anoh!) Aaayy, so many serious problems needing urgent attention in this country… nakatengga! ano bah?
    Sa mga bumoto kay P-noy, to quote Damian Soto, in his radio battlecry, way back when, (to the younger folks, ask your grandpars), “OH ANO, NAKITA NYO NA?!”

    Like

  9. clearly p-noy has been getting tips from medvedev on how to be a puppet president in a mafia state, and lessons on young girls from the other dirty old man in politics- berlusconi.
    what are the bettimg odds that he will be dumped within 1 week.
    how stupid of the palace to play this pr game

    Like

  10. The Aquino family is so full of themselves, they think the nation revolves only for them, by them and thru them. Ang kakapal. Anu ba nagawa ng pamilya nila noong Marcos regime? Di ba nanggulo lang tatay nya sa mga programa noon. Puro kontra, puro boka. When we were younger our perception was evil c Marcos, kurakot, killer…pero anu ba pinag iba nya sa nanay ni abnoy? Cory did not give and never gave us the democracy. Guni-guni lang ng mga opposition un at tinanim sa utak ng kabataan noon. What happened at EDSA in 1986 was Marcos way of exiting, altho not graciously. What happened after EDSA? Nagkanya kanyang kurakutan ang mga opposition..may nangyari bng pagbabago sa buhay ng mga mahihirap? Nowadays, what do we see? Diba more pahirap sa mga mahihirap…. This is an ELITE government. They now only serve the elitistas, the socialistas and the coryistas.
    Hay naku, Pilipinas, kelan ka matututo????

    Like

    1. when politics business and showbiz all become inextricably linked and incestuous it breeds a narcissistic and power hungry elite who ensure above all that the status quo is maintained and they retain their access to easy money, entitlement and privilege most of which has been achieved illegally or via corruption.

      it results in the rich getting richer and the poor gettimg poorer.

      nepotism rules. ot is an archaic model in a global economy since the brightest and the best go elsewhere. also they are not seen as part of the club if they do not have the right family and could therefore rock the boat or ask difficult questions.

      unless the model changes the country cannot change fundamentally and compete with its rapidly rising neighbours.

      in one of the poorest countries in the world politicians in the philippines are the highest paid in the world able to have numerous properties cars staff mistresses etc.
      and plenty of time to run their businesses and attend showbiz parties.

      ignorance is bliss and the large number of people have little idea what goes on especially when the media is manipulated

      Like

  11. ano na ba ito, si gilbert naman ang ibinoto ko, bakit ako
    ngayon nagtatanggol kay noynoy…nasaan na ba kasi ang
    mga diehards ni noynoy, nagsipagtago na….

    ganito na lang, ako naman ay nananalig na noynoy , though
    he may not be as brilliant and as macho, is doing his best
    to find solutions to our country’s problem, it’s just that
    noynoy cannot apply magic to attain instant solutions, kaya
    mahabahabang pasensya pa…

    all work and no play, lalo na’t problema ng bayan ang sangkot,
    ay naku, baka sa mental ang bagsak ni noynoy….kaya hayaan
    nyo na maglibanglibang paminsanminsan si noynoy, wala naman
    kasing asawa at mga anak na kasama sa bahay…..hindi naman
    din siguro palagi ang kanyang paglabaslabas…

    at yung sinasabi na bakit hindi nya inatupag ang pang chicks
    about 25 years back ay hindi totoo, may about 18 na nga sya,
    kaya lang, baka hindi pa talaga sila ukol kasama si shalani kaya
    hindi bumukol…..uuuyyy nasaan na ba ako….

    Like

    1. Juicemio Lolo!

      Masyado nang mapili ang mga bebot ngayon… at dafat lang.

      Age, looks and size definitely matter, no?

      Bakit ka nga naman papatol sa isang 50 years old na tuyot na kung meron namang bata na makatas pa….. at guwapo pa?

      Kung sina Madam Auring at Vicky Belo…. nakadale pa ng mga jowa na mas bata pa sa kanila, I’m shore di pa ganun kadesperada ang Liz Uy na itetch!

      Dating jowa daw yan ni John Lloyd Cruz, balita ko lang. Aber sige nga, pagtabihin mo nga si JLC at si Panot, I’m shore alam mo kung sino ang dafat itulak at sino ang dafat kavigin!

      Bakit, wala bang salamin sa Malacanang at parang di nakikita ng isang (di na tao, sabi ni promdi) ang kahindik hindik na katotohanan?

      Hmmmmp!

      Like

    2. uy teka, nandito pa ako lolo…nagbabasa pa din ng mga entries ni PH at paminsan-minsan at nag co-comment.

      Anyway, kaya di nako sumasali sa debate kasi fixed na ang mindset ng mga regular readers dito especially the anti-Pnoy crowd. kahit na sabihin mo or ako na it takes time to resolve the country’s ills….still people won’t even acknowledge that fact. kumbaga sa sampung ginawa mo at isa dun ang mali…yari ka na kagad (O!!! don’t take it literally lol!!!)

      Saying Pnoy is gay in my opinion is callous, its akin to accusing Manny Pacquiao of taking performance enhancing drugs (HGH, Steriods, etc.). Pero kumbaga kanya kanyang opinion yan. Basta may masabi lang.

      Hypothetically, if ever Pnoy is Gay…so what? So just because he is gay he can no longer serve as President nor find ways to resolve the country’s ills and improve our current state?? It’s just nitpicking.

      So what if he dates?? Kayo ba ang nililigawan ni Pnoy?? Hindi naman diba? So hayaan nyo sya, isa siguro yan sa mga paraan para mabawasan ang stress. Some people handle stress differently, baka that is his way…hayaan nyo na.

      About Lacson:

      Mala palos si Ping. He still has connections within the law enforcement agency and a large influence sa mga mayayaman na Chinoy. Mahirap huliin yan, a testament of which were at least 3 failed arrest attempts. Laking tawa na lang siguro ni Erap at Jinggoy ngayon.

      WikiLeaks:

      Na download nyo ba yung cable communications about Philippines?? Quite an interesting read. Will the beloved former US Ambassador Kristey Kenney’s reputation be tainted??

      Like

      1. tomador,

        Now you’re saying that “it takes time to resolve the country’s ills…” Pero di ba ang slogan niyo ng kampanya ay ang napaka-simplistic na “Kung Walang Corrupt, Walang Mahirap”? Hulihin niyo at ipakulong lahat ng corrupt umpisa kay GMA, at ergo you solved poverty!
        Pero ano, after 5 months in office, meron na bang kasong nakasampa laban kay GMA? Meron na ba kayong naipakulong na corrupt?

        Tungkol naman sa sexual preference ni Pnoy, kung totoong nagbabasa ka ng comments, dapat alam mo na hindi issue sa nakakarami dito whether he is gay or not. What’s galling is the pretension, hypocrisy, and using these young ladies as cover-up just to portray him as a playboy bachelor. Barely a week after he was dumped by liz, now he is dating len? Oh pleasssssssssssssssssssse! PWE!!!

        Like

      2. I for one does not find anything wrong with PNOY being gay, but my main problem would be the media coverage, it seems that PNOY’s handlers are much more preoccupied with his image rather than the real issues, or in short, this administration is too much Hollywood for my taste……….

        For the Wikileaks, I guess the cables could shed light to a number of unsolved issues in the Country such as the death of Ninoy and Magsaysay, and the apparent American support to the Marcoses, Cory’s insistence of letting the US bases stay and the like

        Final Thought: Image is nothing, politicians would always project an image, from PNOY to your beloved Kristey Kelley, eventually they would push for their own interests

        Like

  12. ang taas kasi ng standards ng mga sisters ni Penoy. considered DOM na yung kapatid nila. (DOM or DOG, bahala n kayo). Liz Uy is very pretty so many options for her. yung mas bata, guwapo at hindi kapatid ni kris aquino. akala siguro ng mga aquino na to porke presidente si penoy, magiging chick magnet na. I mean yung mga babaeng disente ha.

    Like

    1. turn offs
      the list is long
      but women dont like self absorbed pseudo-intellectual mummys boys who use women for pr and then fail to acknowledge their help and support.
      i think he is cowardly when it comes to men and wants weak woman who he can bully or does everything for him.
      a substitute mother.
      good luck girls. u would need it.
      and of course u need motormouth kris’s approval and boy abunda’s for good measure.
      the gay mafia are everywhere

      Like

  13. ph
    i enjoy your insights, intellect, and cutting satire.

    i hope u get a wider audience through the mainstream press – ? weekly column

    i know from experience that it is satire,humour,exposure which politicians hate because it brings them down to earth and worst of all makes them accountable which politicians here are not used to – yet.

    be a change agent. we need them.

    keep up the good work

    Like

  14. it is intetesting that after 25 adult years of relative obscurity suddenly p-noy will blame the press for his lack of love life, especially when he thinks all young women adore him but cant take the media pressure.
    me thinks he protest too much
    and has found convenient excuse to continue his secretive batchelor life.
    at one level it may be gossip and good fun but at another it exposes the real person beyond the carefully scripted speeches and his camp know this is his achilles heel hence the pr with shalani during the campaign and carefully leaked stories and photo ops since.
    if u want a private date u do not go to a burger joint in a mall in the middle of the day and then complain afterwards that the press saw u. and ur posse of security guards.
    clearly the palace think people are more stupid than they are.
    that is impossible. we were promised the brightest and the best and end up with a comedy of errors run by a house of horrors.

    Like

  15. The Philippines’ bachelor president has appealed for privacy, saying journalists’ prying eyes are ruining his love life.

    President Benigno Aquino III has been linked to several women since he broke up with girlfriend Shalani Soledad in October. One was his stylist. On Friday, The Philippine Star had a front-page picture of him with a stockbroker said to be his new romantic interest.

    The 50-year-old Aquino says he will be spending Christmas without a date because women are scared to go out with him for fear of ending up in the newspaper headlines.

    He says it’s difficult to woo a woman with the whole nation watching, and joked with reporters that it will “be on your conscience” if another prospective girlfriend stays away

    Like

      1. hindi takot ang mga babae because of publicity but of being used for publicity. saka the girl will feel like a lamb facing the hungry wolves (*ehem, aquino sisters,ehem* esp. kris, *ehem*). ska presidente ng pinas sa burger joint ka lang papakainin? mga teenagers lang ang nagdededate sa mcdo at jollibee

        Like

  16. Sinisi pa ang press e cla nman ang enjoy n enjoy magpamedia coverage… ang kakapal talaga kris na kris ang style…halata tuloy na c kris ang coach ni abnoy.

    Anyway, bagsak n ang abs-cbn dhil s mga Aquino na ito. They partly owned the station kaya biased n biased ang mga tao dun…Ang d makatiis, lipad sa ibang network…

    Like

  17. Nonoy’s supposed ‘date’ with a stockbroker would have raised a howl in some countries. A president having a meeting with a stockbroker? Any other possible implications than just having a date? But the media believes that the people thirst for ‘drama and romance’ and so it obliges. A more discerning media should look beyond the romance and get better inside information than what the stockbroker may be getting from the President. I wouldn’t be surprised if that stockbroker suddenly gets a lot of calls from speculators…in business not just showbiz.

    Like

  18. @ tomador

    and now you’re talking, actually, this is the second time na na nanawagan

    ako sa iyo and company to come out and stand-up for noynoy dahil sabi

    ko, bugbog sarado na sya…

    katulad mo, nakikita ko rin si timpaul na nag cocomment paminsanminsan

    pero on other issues din other sa mainit na pinaguusapan, ang hinihintay ko

    talaga ay si religiousboy/girl, saan na kaya yun nilagay ni God……

    Like

  19. @ eddi

    ang pagkakaunawa ko sa slogan ni noynoy ay, mag start sa

    kanya ang ganuong katangian at hopefully sa kanyang cabinete…

    sa kaso ni gloria and company, sa tingin mo ba, ma reresolve

    yun ng madalian? ano, walang batallion of lawyers si gloria at basta

    na lang yun magpakulong? sa tingin ko naman, on-going ang mga

    imbestigasyon tungkol doon at hopefully matapos yun bago matapos

    ang term ni noynoy…

    Like

    1. senior,
      Appointing a person who cannot be trusted not to cheat on his golf score to go after the big time smugglers and tax evaders at customs is your idea of fighting corruption?
      What happened to the election promise that they would file cases every week against big time smugglers and tax evaders because Pnoy already have the list?
      I know that results would take time but at least, if this admin is really in the right direction, we should be seeing developments at this stage.

      Like

  20. @ maxlip

    oo naman, i mean, kung totoo yun, yes, naniwala ako,
    kasi, tingnan mo naman, kung yung mga standby sa
    kanto nakakartami din, si noynoy pa kaya? sya na anak
    nina ninoy at cory? we are speaking here of before pa ha…

    how about ngayon na he is the most powerful man of pinas,
    pagkatapos i compare lang ni @ etchosera sa mga ” age,
    looks, size ” at ni @ eddi sa ” tigasin “, diyos mio, sampo sang
    pera sila, ano ba….

    ngayon, parang mahihirapan na talaga ang lovelife ni noynoy,
    one factor siguro, at sang-ayon ako kay noynoy, ang media,
    his lack of privacy, well, talagang ganyan lang yan, you cannot
    have it all, kahit presidente ka pa…

    speaking of liz, na sabi ni paul na ‘ may taste ” daw at sabi
    naman ni @ claw na ” me high standard ” daw, ang basa ko
    naman, nagiging wise lang si liz dahil kung si korina at shalani
    nga na mga virginal beauties ay iniwan ni noynoy, siya pa kaya?

    Like

  21. @ eddibumangon

    si paul hindi ko kilala, si noynoy, sabi, virgin pa daw, naging
    sila din pala ni ping? si ping lacson ha, nakatulog pala ako sa
    pancitan, at sina etc, etc, hindi ko rin sila kilala….

    @ hikatalomato

    at natakot ka naman, ikaw kasi, pambihira pati butas ng ilong
    dinamay mo pa….

    Like

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