JACKPOT


Lone Winner
According to the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office, a lone bettor has won the P741-M jackpot in the 6/55 Grand Lotto draw Monday night. The winning bet was placed at a lotto outlet inside the Subic Bay Free Port Zone… fueling speculations that Mike Arroyo has relocated to Olongapo City.

A couple of weeks back, while a lot of people prayed to God to win the lottery, Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz declared on radio and TV, “Ipagdarasal ko sa Panginoon na sana ay walang tumama sa Grand Lotto.” Well, guess who got snubbed.

Rizal & Lottery The PCSO says our national hero, Jose Rizal actually won the loteria (Spanish word for lottery) in 1892 while he was on exile in Dapitan, Zamboanga del Norte. Rizal religiously placed bets on the loteria… despite threats from Spanish friars they would pray hard so he wouldn’t win the jackpot.

According to the PCSO, Jose Rizal won P6,200 in a lotto draw in 1892. News of his win spread like wildfire on Facebook, and Rizal’s name became the top trending topic on Twitter.

Top 5 “Dear Lotto Winner’ Statements

No. 5: Dear Lotto Winner: Ang swerte mo! Syet ka!

No. 4: Dear Lotto Winner: Sabi ni Archbishop Oscar Cruz, makabubuti raw na dalhin mo na ang buong pamilya mo abroad. You’ll end up a loser din daw dahil magkakaroon ka ng iba’t ibang problema. Gusto kong malaman ang opinyon mo: bakit kaya sobrang bitter ng paring ito?

No. 3: Dear Lotto Winner: Kung ikaw si Liz Uy, sasagutin mo ba ang presidente? Kung oo, are you nuts? Wala lang.

No. 2: Dear Lotto Winner: Taga-Pampanga ka ‘no!? Aminiiiiiin!

And the No. 1 “Dear Lotto Winner’ statement…

Dear Lotto Winner:
Sana totoo ka.
Sana hindi kami binobola ng PCSO.

This just in! There’s no truth to rumors that the PCSO has released – for the first time in lotto’s history – the photo of the jackpot prize winner. Right click here for the alleged picture of the winner. Again, not true.

Finding Lacson
The Philippine National Police has proposed a P2-million reward for information leading to the arrest of fugitive Senator Panfilo Lacson. To lure informants, a million peso will be added to the total reward money every week.

The PNP wants to put up a P2-million reward for information leading to the arrest of fugitive Senator Panfilo Lacson. However, Lacson’s spiritual adviser Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz is praying that no one gets the reward.

Pulse Asia Survey
According to Pulse Asia, 69 percent of Filipinos support the Reproductive Health bill. Catholic bishops described the figure as scandalous.

The latest survey showed that 7 of 10 Filipinos support the RH bill. The other three were afraid of excommunication.

In the October 20 to 29 Pulse Asia survey, 69 percent of Filipinos expressed support for the Reproductive Health bill while only 7 percent went against it. Catholic Bishops were enraged when they learned that the remaining 24 percent went for Vetellano Acosta.

Results of the latest Pulse Asia survey showed that 69 percent of Filipinos were in favor of the RH bill while a mere 7 percent went against it. The remaining 24 percent, according to Catholic bishops – were in purgatory.

SWS Survey
In the September 24 to 27 survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations, Justice Secretary Leila De Lima got a satisfaction rating of 54 percent. The other 30 percent didn’t give her a rating, while 16 percent were dissatisfied – all of them, APO members.


You know who else feels like a lotto winner these days?
Gerardo Biong, the Parañaque cop convicted in the grisly Vizconde massacre in 1991 was released from prison Tuesday. Before he left his cell, Biong burnt some blankets, bed sheets, clothes, and other pieces of evidence of his incarceration.

De Lima vs. De La Fuente
Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has ordered the indictment of bus operator Claire De La Fuente for failing to remit to the Bureau of Internal Revenue some P148 million in taxes from 1997 to 2004. De La Fuente denied she defrauded the government, and said, “Nagkataon lang na sunud-sunod ang mga years na ‘di kami nakabayad. Pero, hindi sinadya ‘yon.”

ECE Board Exam
At least 15 Electronics and Communications Engineering graduates in the Visayas and Mindanao claimed there had been a leak in the recent board exam in Cebu. The Professional Regulation Commission vowed to investigate the matter even as the Presidential Communications Group denied it was the source of the leak. ———————————
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
– Woody Allen

Survey Says
Dapat bang limitahan sa PhP500-M ang jackpot sa lotto?
– OO! 19.83%
– HINDI! Hayaang lumaki! 62.47%
– Wala akong pakialam. ‘Di ako tumataya sa lotto 17.7%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

70 thoughts on “JACKPOT”

  1. hello PH…. oo nga ano, bakit kaya parang pinagkaitan ng tadhana ang mga suhestyon ni archbishop cruz? hindi applicable sa makabagong panahon.
    sana may masabi naman syang possitive sa development ng bansa… di yung kontrapelo ang dating nya.

    pala bakit wala kay post about the wiki leaks?

    Like

    1. Interesting question! Napa-google tuloy ako. 🙂

      From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_peso
      The new monetary standard during Rizal’s time (Alfonso Peso) established the Peso as 25 grams silver, 0.900 fine (0.7234 XAG), equivalent to ₱617.34 modern pesos of as of June 9, 2010.
      Ergo, if he won 6,200 pesos as his share in the 20,000 2nd place jackpot in the Spanish Loteria, 6,200 x 617.34 = Php3,827,508.00.

      The full 2nd prize of 20,000 during his time was worth 12,346,800.

      Like

  2. Now, it really affirms the fact that Pulse Asia and other survey firms are Pro- abnoy and nabibili ng mga pro- abnoy …Lahat nlang ng programa ng Aquino Admin in favor ang survey? C’mon, wag nyo ng lokohin ulet ang mga Pinoy. Tama n ung nagluklok kyo ng presidenteng wlang silbi. Pti mga bills n alam nyong marami ang against pina survey nyo p kunwari para tanggapin at lunukin nlang ulet ng mga pinoy… tama na, sobra na!!!

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  3. PH, a Quote in the Act by Mico Morelos?: “The easiest way to die is to have Tim Yap tweet about you.”
    http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20101201-306263/PDI-reporter-fears-for-life-over-Tim-Yap-tweet
    gusto kasi makascoop bahala na kung ano pa ang kahihinatnan sa iba!!!

    To the lotto winner: Mag tweet ka kaya na binigyan mo si Tim Yap ng 20M para ipambalato sa lahat ng tao. Ano kaya ang feeling niya at tweet ka nalang later in about a month or two na “Tim, Pasensya na ha, nadala lang ako.”

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  4. dear lotto winner:
    congratulations and enjoy your good fortune. just my unsolicited thoughts on what to do with your newfound wealth.
    1. do not tell anyone yet. stop and give yourself some time to think on what to do. you have lived your life without the money, you can still live without it. if only to reward yourself in the meantime, maybe you can increase your monthly budget to twice or even five times the amount. if you spent 20T a month, make it perhaps 50T para naman magenjoy ka nang kahit konti.
    2. do not think of buying a house and lot at the best subdivision in the country or elsewhere. many people dream of living lives of the rich and famous. i have met people who suddenly get enough wealth (or maybe marry rich) and want to live the good life. unfortunately, their definition of a good life is not the life they actually can live. would you be happy living in an exclusive subdivision with high profile personalities as neighbors like politicians or actors? di ka kaya mapagkamalan na akyat bahay kung magjogging ka sa subdivision?
    3. control your good heart. you may want to share your wealth to family members and good friends. but bear in mind that the very same people you want to help may not be able to control their emotions of the sudden windfall. baka sila pa ang magtweet kay Tim Yap. Instead of giving one person 1M pesos for example, i think it would be better if you go into business with him. ask you family or friends kung ano kaya ang magandang negosyo and when you think it is a feasible idea, suggest ka namaginvest ka without them knowing where you get the money. if you know 100 people you invest 100T in, it wont cost that much. and you still get your ROI even if you don’t really expect it. the ROI you can give to charity nalang.
    4. open several bank accounts before you go to PCSO. 3 or 5 accounts in all the banks that you know. when you receive the check from PCSO, have it deposited to as many bank accounts that you have. Better yet, organize and incorporate a business with your most trusted friends and family members. you only need 5 people to incorporate. the money will then be deposited in the account of the corporation. you can make as many corporations as you want to be able to hide your identity. of course, you will need a lawyer. a brilliant lawyer.

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    1. koreek! kaduda-duda,..! look at the timing? sino kaya sa palace nakaisip nun, noh? brilliant; parang floor wax mentality! buti di nahihilo pcso kalilipat… nun sa san marcelino, tapos QI, ngayon PICC; nun nasa OP na yan, tapos dinala pala sa DSWD then di ko nga alam nasa DOH pala; ngayon OP na uli. ano ka ba kuya, para kang manganganak na kuting! but on second thot, marami raw nag-aabang sa vicinity ng pcso sa winner(?) to claim his/her cashfall… wawa naman sya. kaya nga di ako tumaya sa grand, kasi baka manalo ako! naykupuu!!

      Like

    2. First time kya na pinalipat ang management ng PCSO sa OP? Grabe!!! Halatang halata na may niluto cla sa loob…Yan ang cnasabi ni noynoy n kelangan nya ng piso piso bawat pinoy para sa kampanya nya noon…kapal ng mga mukha, ninanakawan pti mahihirap… ngaun nangyri pa tong paglipat sa OP. Mga mandarambong!!! Mga sugapa!!! Anlaki na kc ng KAMAGANAK, INC…..

      Like

  5. Medyo madamin ding ta*** dito no? Guys, one way to check if you are first to post a comment is participate in the survey. If the result is 100% on your option chosen, then it means you are the first to visit and read the new blogpost since Mr. PH has a new survey each time he posts a new blog. Gets???

    Like

      1. Jef (17:15:32) :

        Mahirap makipagtalo sa BOBo..

        ===============================

        Look who’s talking? Only a fool could conceive that idea…. or should I say, that twisted logic?

        By the way, mas mahirap naman makipagtalo sa sarado ang utak. Nahuli ka na, tumatanggi ka pa. Mahirap ba talagang tanggapin ang katotohanan na nagkamali ka?

        Pero medyo pinahanga mo ako ha. Nakilala mo na ako si bobo considering that my email address wasn’t published.

        Seems that you’re not that stupid after all.

        Like

  6. if i won 741M plus,hindi ako maghehesitate na tumakbo papuntang PCSO para i-claim yon..741M yun noh!pwede na ko bumili ng bagong computer pra mas maayos ko na mabasa ang blog nato 🙂 atbp.

    i was wondering pano nman binibigyan ng PCSO ng tulong yung mga pumupunta sa kanila for charity..madami rin kasi ako naencounter nung student days ko na patients na nilalakad ang PCSO.

    oh,69.may naalala ako dito n2man ako.hehehe 😀 anyway,i am 100% agree sa RH bill..i know its not pro-abortion,so saan napulot ung idea na abortion ang laman nun?and nasa iyo nman kung natural or artificial ang gusto mo.try mo!hmp.

    Like

  7. Re your current survey: Sa Pilipinas lang naman madalas kambal-malas ang mga jackpot winners! bakit ba sa USA, pinapapresscon pa ang winner at sandamakmak na feature interviews ang ginagawa ng mga mags at broadsheets. Madalas nakikicelebrate pa ang general public… e dito, susmaryosep! at naaykupuu! ang waiting sa ‘yo. we’ve heard a number of reported and unreported accounts of mishaps and misfortunes that have happened to windfall winners of lottery draws, even bingos here, so that winning, sa totoo lang, has become one great scare! why, where’s the rub? poverty? want? or corrupted culture?? where have all our values gone? samantala, lotto mania and the likes thrive and have been continually spreading like wildfire, despite the threat of running for your life after the win, should you ever do!

    Like

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