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BASTED

27 11 2010

ARE YOU familiar with Liz Uy? Yup, Liz Uy, the personal stylist of President Noynoy Aquino, and just recently, the ex-almost future First Girlfriend.

Reliable sources say President Aquino was not successful in winning the heart of his personal stylist Liz Uy. Even the endorsement of Kris Aquino and Boy Abunda failed to deliver this time.


Top 12 Messages Left on President Noynoy Aquino’s Answering Machine

No. 12: “Hello ‘tol, si Jojo Ochoa ‘to. Hindi pa katapusan ng mundo! Tara, inom tayo!”

No. 11: “Hi Noy! Krissy here! Gosh! Boy and I we’re just talking about you and Liz. ‘Yun na ba ‘yun?!? You’re so hina talaga! Nakakainis! Ay, wait… Bimby’s making ubos na naman a can of Nido eh. Pinapapak talaga niya. Aha-ha-ha! He’s so PG like his dada. Will call you again in a minute. Gosh, Biiiiiimby… enough na!”

No. 10: “P’re, si Rico E. Puno ‘to. Narinig ko na ang balita. Alam mo p’re, when you’re down and troubled, and you need a helping hand. And nothing, nothing is going right. Close your eyes and THINK of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights. Mas dark pare, mas okay. Take care, ‘cause I care… pare!”

No. 9: “Hillow? Numiro ba itu ni Prisidinti? Kaya mu ‘yan mahal na pangulu! Aku nga, ilang bisis ring binastid ni Jinkee bagu ku napa-uu. Piro, kung gustu mu talagang makuha ang isang babai, una sa lahat pasalamat ka muna sa Panginuun. Kung wala siya, wala ka rin sa mundu. Tapus, pasalamat ka sa supurta ng taung bayan. Kung ‘di ka nila ibinutu, ‘di mu makikilala si Lez. ‘Yun lang ang advice ko. Basta, kip preying, at makakatagpu ka rin ng babaing para sa ‘yu! Ooops, tika, anu ‘yang kamira sa harapan ku?!? Sus ginuu! Nariyan ka pala Dyan Castilliju. ‘Kala ku si Nanay Dionisia! Pastilan!”

No. 8: “Hi Sir! Mai Mislang here. I know, I know! The feeling sucks, right?”

No. 7: “Hello Noy. Si Koring ‘to! Yes, Koring, may iba pa ba? Hi-hi-hi. Sinubukan ko lang ‘tong bagong phone ni Mar. ‘Di ko naman alam na sa ‘yo pala ang last dialed number. How are you na? Long time no hear ah. Okay naman ako. Heto, balik sa trono. Ooops, erase-erase-erase. Siyanga pala, I heard may ‘di kagandahang nangyari between ‘yo and the stylist. After all these years, ‘di ka pa ba nasanay?! Ooops, erase-erase-erase!”

No. 6: “Hello? Ish thish Noynoy’sh anshwering maschine? Oh, how are you iho? I’m shorry huh for meddling in your pershonal life. Pero what’sh thish I heard that you’re blaming me and my adminishtrashion for your lacklushter and imaginary affairsh of the heart? That’sh sho unfair! Ishtop! Okay? Let’sh move on. At katulad ng paulit-ulit na advice sha akin ng aking ama, do what ish right, do what ish best, and Mike Arroyo will take care of the rest. I mean, God will take care of the resht. I am shorry.”

No. 5: “Hi Noy. Si Krissy ulit to. You make kwento na kasi! What happened ba? Why do I keep reading the word “basted” on Twitter? Gosh! ‘Di ba I told you na allergic si Liz sa secondhand smoke? Siguro nag-yosi ka na naman in front of her. Hay naku! You’re so matigas ang ulo kasi! Basta next time… Biiiiimby! Ano baaaaa?! Tigilan mo na ‘yang Nido!”

No. 4: “Hello Mistel Plesident. Donald Tsang koling. Bakit ikaw ‘di sagot akyen tawag? Dalawa ulit ako tawag lagi machine answer. Sabi machine “Sorry, da numbel you dial is in a meeting.” Ako inis ulit pero ako understand iyo situation. Tawag ako iyo kasi bigay ako numbel 1 tip para babae sagot ka yes. Ikaw iwash smile para babae isip ikaw mystelious. Dapat ikaw pa-mystelious epek. Oki? ‘Yun lang. Jīng cháng lián xì a!”

No. 3: “Noy? Hello po! Tinest ko lang po kung active pa ‘tong number mo. Mukhang active pa nga. Sige po, idi-delete ko na. Oo nga pala, naka-box na po ‘yong mga regalo mo sa ‘king figurines, mugs at stuffed toys from Blue Magic. Plano ko sanang itapon kaya lang baka gusto mong ipamigay sa staff mo. Paki-pick na lang po sa bahay namin sa Valenzuela sa Monday, holiday naman. Salamat po.”

No. 2: “Hello and good morning Mr. President! Attorney Edwin Lacierda here. I just would like to inform you that I have received your personal memo. Ricky and Manolo are in the process of fine-tuning your love letter to Ms. Uy. We’re very sorry it was released prematurely. And we’re doubly sorry that the half-baked message was obtained and reported by ANC. I have ordered an investigation to determine the source of the leak. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, it’s still Liz Uy who has the final say.”

And the No.1 message left on President Aquino’s answering machine…

“Hi Noy! Si Mar ‘to! Lakasan mo ang iyong loob bro. And don’t worry, matatagpuan mo rin ang babaeng para sa ‘yo. Minsan nga, ‘yong ‘di mo inaasahan ang siya pang dumarating. Tingnan mo ako: who would have thought na darating ang araw na magiging misis ko ang ex-girlfriend mo? That’s the magic of love ‘tol. Oh, by the way, did you see Shalani on Willing Willie last night? ‘T*ng-ina pare, Naka-sleeveless! Sumiseksi pare! Syet! Awrrr!”

IN OTHER NEWS…

After failing to secure a TRO against the airing of Willie Revillame’s new show, ABS-CBN has filed a PhP127 million copyright infringement case versus ‘Willing Willie’ and TV5 for allegedly copying ‘Wowowee.’ Next week, ABS-CBN will file another case against the TV host and TV5 for ‘copying’ TV Patrol’s “idea” of hiring an ex-girlfriend of the president.

ABS-CBN has accused Willie Revillame and TV5 of plagiarism. Revillame retorted, “Willing Willie, as an entertainment show is a form of art. Sa arts, ang plagiarism ay accepted practice!

According to the complaint, TV5’s airing of Willing Willie has caused and continues to cause irreparable damage to ABS-CBN… specifically, to TV Patrol.

Animal Lover
Two counts of violation of The Animal Welfare Act were filed against a 33-year-old farmer in Naujan, Oriental Mindoro after he allegedly raped a pet dog twice this month. The farmer categorically denied the accusation saying he was a loyal husband… to his carabao.

Reports say the 33-year-old farmer in Naujan, Oriental Mindoro who was charged for allegedly sexually assaulting a pet dog had previously raped a pig! The farmer vehemently denied the allegation saying he was a victim of black propaganda concocted by a disgruntled ex-flame, a hen.
——————————————-
♪♪ “It takes some time
God knows how long ♪♪
I know that I can forget you ♪♪
♪ As soon as my heart stops breakin’
Anticipating ♪ ♪
♪As soon as forever is through ♪♪
I’ll be over you”♪♪
~Toto, I’ll Be Over You

Survey Says
On the resignation of Tourism undersecretary Enteng Romano:
– Dapat lang! Palpak eh! 47.12%
– Isang kapuri-puring hakbang! Mabuhay ka! 41.81%
– Sino siya? Anong balita? 11.06%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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153 responses

27 11 2010
AAA111

panalo yung “I’ll be Over You” sa dulo!

thanks for giving the workday weekend some laughs! astig ka mr. heckler!

Like

27 11 2010
blueheart

weee!..ganda ng ending song..kawawang Pnoy..minumura na ng mga students ng state U’s eh nabasted pa..

Maging choosy ka ba naman eh TAO na c Shalani eh..hahaha..buti nga natyaga sya eh..

Nice post mr.PH!..HEHE

Like

27 11 2010
checkmate

nyahaha riot ung message ni paquiao eh ^^

astig ka talaga sir ph ^^

Like

27 11 2010
ranjit

who would want to ne PNOY’s girlfriend?! ewwww!!!1

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27 11 2010
penoy bokal

Aray kuuuu!

Nubayan? Bugbug saradu na aku!

Sumusubra na kayu, ha?

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27 11 2010
Paul

The lady has good taste

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27 11 2010
Kadaffy

Mas busy pa yata si presidente sa mga chicks kesa sa gabinete nya. Baka si Boy Abunda na nagpapatakbo sa bayan.

Tsk tsk

Like

27 11 2010
manay_ichu

lovely PH, talagang good breakfast ang blog mo. more power to you!!!

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27 11 2010
eddibumangon

subok lang kung ako nga ang una.

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27 11 2010
etchosera

try harder Koya Eddi , or should I say..earlier!

Ahihihihihi!

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27 11 2010
Topdog

Pang 19 na girlfriend. Matitigil lang cguro pnoy pang nameet na nya tamang lalaki sa buhay nya!

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27 11 2010
eddibumangon

LOL! Like na like ko ‘to.

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27 11 2010
penoy bokal

Aray kuuuuu!

Tika tika… halata na ba talaga?

Boti pa nga si Paring Mar, at lest may Koring na na pantakep sa dapat takpan!

Piru, pakiosap lang sa lahat, wag namang masyadung bilodabilt na ang tera saken.. prisedinti na aku eh! Kakaheya sa boong mondo.

Yung kapated ko na lang na bongangira ang banatan nyu…. sanay na kase yun sa shubes.

Like

28 11 2010
eddibumangon

Umamen ka na kase para ikaw ang magiging magiting na tagapagtanggul ng lahi ni darna at dyesebel.

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28 11 2010
penoy bokal

pag omamen ba aku eh tatantanan mu na ang mga bomutu saken?

tika tika… maeba ako, pwidi bang pomonta aku dyan sa enyo? Baleta ku marame daw gwapu dyan?

Like

27 11 2010
livingsaint

first?

naku, Noy should concentrate on running the country, rather than dating and looking for a new lady-love. yes, alam kong entitled siya to have a personal life, pero hindi ba niya naisip na napakaraming problema ng Pilipinas, at mas dapat unahin i-resolve ito kaysa lintik niyang lovelife? kasi naman, kung desido siya talaga to have a life partner, eh sana ginawan na niya yan ng paraan twenty years ago!

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28 11 2010
promdi

Amen i say to you living saint! siyang tunay! eh san ka ba naman nakakita ng presidente ng bansa na inaabot ng sign off time ng restaurant sa pakikipag-date? Me ganun? e di bala napuyat ang mga waiters at servers sa isang resto sa greenbelt kaylan lang dahil dapat sarado na sila pero di masara-sara dahil me presidenteng naglalamay pa… sa kanyang can not be requited love? love nga kaya? juicemio, to quote echosera… hahaha! kawawang totoong problema ng Pilipinas, kay ganda!!!

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28 11 2010
etchosera

Juicemio!

Special mention na sana aketch, eh mali naman ang spelling!

Hmmmmp!

Bwahahahaha!

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

hahaha, dats why copy paste is still the best.

Like

28 11 2010
bob

Mag-ayos ka promdi!

Di kayang mabuhay nang walang ‘T’ si eTchosera.

Hehe…

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28 11 2010
promdi

he he, very sorry etch! basta ikaw yun, the one and only!

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28 11 2010
Paul

PNoy definitely does not have enough intelligence to think and do something about national problems. He needs to get the best and the brightest to do these not the clowns that he has now. But the problem is that he cannot relate to the best and the brightest and they cannot talk to him on the same level.

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28 11 2010
esa

😦

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28 11 2010
penoy bokal

Aray kuuuuuu!

Hoy! Kala mu, de ko naentendehan yan?

Epapoles keta! Epapoles keta!

Kala mu kong senu kang magaleng!

Ekaw kaya tomakbung prisedinti…….

Iwan kulang kong ibutu ka ng mga tau.

Like

28 11 2010
promdi

korek ka dyan, paul. look at sec. robredo; reports say they don’t see eye to eye. e tingnan mo lang ang educational background at tract record ni sec. , maningning na, amazing pa! di talaga matched eyeball nila! but in fairness, kinuha siya… bakit nga ba? only to be stuck in the aparador?

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29 11 2010
floi

tama ka jan Paulk…pero ang mga may magandang idea kasi para patakbuhin ang isang bansa eh sa kalsada nakatira………….hehehe..

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27 11 2010
Will

nice one. thank you for this blog 🙂

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27 11 2010
cecille

Bravo! Your blog made me smile amidst the gloom and doom of this day. ^_^

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27 11 2010
timpaul

Ahem. Una ba?

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27 11 2010
effortless

nice!

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27 11 2010
jason

Nice one Ph. This is my first time and nauna ako,hehehe

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27 11 2010
etchosera

Bwahahahaha!

Ayyyyy! Tama po ba ang reaction ko?

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28 11 2010
esa

@etchosera huwag kang ganyan…first time nga raw rito ni @jason, he thought he was first because none was registered when he wrote his comment kasi under moderation pa yata lahat that time. Welcome @jason, masanay ka kay @etchosera, mabait siya and like the author, Mr. PH, is a heckler of caliber.

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29 11 2010
etchosera

Ay Ate Wan, no comparison kay PH… wala po ako sa kalingkingan niya (of course! Andito kasi ako sa Midol Est eh!)

Ahahahahaha!

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30 11 2010
Anonymous

Funny how you laugh at anyone’s innocence.A typical Pinoy trait.

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30 11 2010
Centrino

@Anonymous: It’s actually a typical trait of a Bully.

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1 12 2010
etchosera

to anonymous and centrino:

I think you’re reading the wrong blog.

Peace!

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1 12 2010
eddibumangon

si etchos, bully? hahaha. baka kamo mahilig sa mga bully at fav nya ang “buli”. 😉

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29 11 2010
floi

hahaha..better luck next time…para mauna ka….
sanka mauuna?

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27 11 2010
senior60

teka lang muna, naku liz uy, nagpa hard to get ka pa,

akala mo kung sino ka na ha, kung tutuusin, napansin

ka lang naman ni noynoy dahil sa kakasukat mo sa kanya…

Like

28 11 2010
etchosera

kaya nga binasted…… kasi kahit super effort na, di talaga kayang maayos pa ang Pnoy.

Wala na nga raw buhok……. kulang pa sa sukat(?)

Ewwwwwww!

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29 11 2010
floi

saang sukat yun?hahaha

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27 11 2010
senior60

bakit wala kang quote for this topic mister heckler,

mahirap bang makakita ng angkop?

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27 11 2010
senior60

at siguro mister heckler, malaki natanggap mo sa nido ano…

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27 11 2010
weslu

What is so news worthy about P-Noy’s love interests? The media is so full of them, esp the evening news. Wala bang mas importanteng bagay na nangyayari sa Pinas? Kaya walang asenso e.

Like

28 11 2010
esa

😦 Iyan nga ang nakakalungkot e. Kung nagpakita nang ganyang ugali si P-Noy before the elections, most probably he wouldn’t be where he is now. Malas yata natin.

Like

29 11 2010
etchosera

Ay Ate Wan, alam na naman ng lahat na butas-bangko lang si Pnoy sa Congress at Senate before he run for president… tapos binoto nyo pa!

The way forward is to NOT expect too much from Pnoy… para iwas wrinkles! Para lahat tayo maganda, di ba?

At pag lahat tayo maganda……. eh di goodbye sa modus operandi ni Vicky Belo!

Bwahahahaha!

Wag nang magsisihan, tulungan na lang si Pnoy na makahanap na ng makakasama niya sa buhay, ke lalaki man o babae…kebs ko! Ang mahalaga eh maayos na niya muna ang buhay nya.

Saka na yung good governance….. matagal na naman tayong wala nyan eh (AMININ!). … and yet we survived! The filipino resilience at its best!

Like

30 11 2010
hikatalomato

dapat na palitan kahulugan ng FLIP. from “f***in little island people” to “filipinos love incompetent presidents”

Like

29 11 2010
floi

dahil sa past administration yan!haha…

Like

27 11 2010
honey

haha.. this made my day… pansin ko nga kahit sa carinderia instead na news ang pinapanood eh sa Willing willie naka tune yung TV.

Like

27 11 2010
xinna

You never fail to amaze me mr.ph….as usual GALING!

Like

27 11 2010
coj

mas bagay pa ata si ricky carandang at noynoy….sabagay if your 50 yrs old,single,into guns and hotdogs and notorius mamas boy…fill in the blanks nalang

Like

28 11 2010
esa

Naku, magagalit sa iyo si Ces D.

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

bagay nga at siguradong like ni Pnoy…balita na extra large hotdog si carandang.

Like

29 11 2010
manay_ichu

crush ko si carandang kasi chinito siya. bongga!!!! talaga bang extra large suwerte naman ni ces…kaya pala naglalaway si pnoy sa kanya…kay ricky hindi kay ces…lahat ng ricky siya lang ang hindi badingger…hahaha.

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30 11 2010
hikatalomato

walang tsinito na extra large. kaya nga lumiit ang mga mata nila sa kakasipat sa napakaliit nilang ehem.

Like

27 11 2010
sarisarikwentostore

Ano ba yang si PNoy, basted na naman.

Like

27 11 2010
etchosera

I really think it was a bold and wise move from TV5 under Manny Pangilinan (MP) to put “Willing Willie” on primetime TV, in contrast to the primetime news from other networks.

Kahit maraming haters si Wiilie Revillame (isa na ako dun), siguro naisip nilang mas gugustuhin siyempre ng mga tao na manood ng gameshow kesa mapanood ulit si Kabayan at si Ate Koring na wala rin halos nabago sa style and substance ang news reporting…. at di lang yan, puro pa bad news ang dala.

TV5 is now here to stay and will definitely give the other two networks a run for their money / public viewership!

Ayan! Dahil kay MP, napa-english tuloy ako. Ke mali o tama…… KEBS!
Walang pakialaman!

Bwahahahahaha!

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28 11 2010
esa

@etchosera, you shocked me with your serious comment. It’s a welcome breeze though. 🙂

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28 11 2010
etchosera

Ay Ate Wan, you should see me in person…..

mas lalo ka pang masa-shock at mapapasigaw ng walang soundah!

Ahah ahah ahah!

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2 12 2010
kaye

needless to say, I was shocked, too. Kudos to you, etchos. hihihi! namiss ko magcomment dito. backreading… 🙂

Like

27 11 2010
lkzfjldfjldfgodfhgojk

Bwahahahaha nakakatawa tlaga pramis! super nakakatawa. mamataymatay at mangisayngisay ako sa kakatawa nakakatawa tlaga mga frends, sige na paniwalaan nyo naman ako. sign na kayo ng petition letter na gawin nating national artist c heckler shit kasi hindi corny jokes nya bwahahahahahhaah

Like

27 11 2010
Apo Ninyo

Jejemon!

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27 11 2010
randulf

ok first

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27 11 2010
thepiaya

wehehehe!

Like

27 11 2010
thepiaya

Sus ginuu! Nariyan ka pala Dyan Castilliju. ‘Kala ku si Nanay Dionisia! Pastilan!”
HAHAHAHA!

Like

27 11 2010
itsmeadz

love the message number 3.go shalani.heheh

Like

27 11 2010
Cyrene

First? Syempre pa special mention ulit si mai mislang. hehe. Paborito mo na sya heckler.

Like

27 11 2010
karaangbugoy

Hindi naman seguro paborito. Misslang nya.

Like

28 11 2010
eddibumangon

hahaha. minsan nakakatsamba ka rin bugoy.

Like

27 11 2010
chihuahua

Winner talaga yung No. 9. Imagine pagkamalan ba naman ni Pacman si Dyan na si Mother D. Dapat kay Dyan, lumayo-lumayo muna kay Pacquiao 🙂

Like

27 11 2010
Kapt. Tiagong Akyat Bahay

Bakit hindi na lang si PNoy at si Mai Mislang? Mukhang bagay naman sila at si Mai naman mukhang mababa lang ang standards.

Like

29 11 2010
floi

hahahaha!

Like

27 11 2010
iroppoi

vindicated si shalani…!!!

shalani is LOL right at this moment!!!

Like

27 11 2010
anon

U r never lonely with a jolibee.
Affairs of state are secondary to opening a new
fast food restaurant
its not that he has no time for a love life.
He only works part time
Just a balding bespectacled old skinflint with no style or taste.
I dont think liz uy could take all the jokes going round however much pnoy was paying her

Like

28 11 2010
esa

Ibig mo sabihin meron delikadesa si Liz Uy unlike P-Noy, Krissy, and lately pati si Ballsy na nakikisawsaw sa replies sa media re P-Noy’s lovelife.

Like

27 11 2010
promdi

ay nakuu, karma ‘yan, karma talaga! mantak ba namang iabandon si mahinhin shalani y mabini nang walang huling paalam as in me ultimo adios; entonces dropping her like hot spring! just that?! di ba si binibining madam kaya pala di makaamin-amin e sa tv at dyaryo pa nalaman na break na sila?! walang turing! walang utang na loob! sorry, naliwasan ako ng actual basting ceremony! yung huli ko kcng update nung mag-overtime sa isang greenvelt restaurant yung mga waiting staff dahil sa overstaying na 2 dating customers nung isang araw. baka nun nagkalinawan! hindi nga?!

Like

28 11 2010
etchosera

pansin ko lang….. dami mong alam na balita tungkol kay Pnoy ah?

Naku ‘Teh promdi, napaghahalata ka na.

Stalker ka ni Pnoy, no? Aminin!!!

Now I know (pahiram, pacman), mahilig ka pala sa kalbo!

Ahahehihohu!

Like

28 11 2010
promdi

ay sinabi mo, etch! (feel ko mas endearing ‘to ‘neng, luv u!), napa-automatic yung stalking blues ko since he won the elect, u know! kc, i had hoped na matatauhan ang pinoy at magbabago ang kanilang voting precept. eh hindi rin! senti pa rin, as in witless! kaya ang akin… cge, gusto nyo yan, vamos a ver… kaya ayun! ggrrr. tsaka nahawa na rin ako sa inyo, obvious ba? hahaha!

Like

29 11 2010
eddibumangon

mas bagay ‘ata kung “itch”, ewan ko kung bakit. 😉

Like

29 11 2010
etchosera

Wala namang ganyanan, Koya Eddi.

wala na namang makati sa akin kasi if ever naman, may regular nang tagakamot eh!

Ahihihihihihi!

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2 12 2010
kaye

etchos, wala ka talagang kakupas kupas. hahahaha!

wala bang like button yung comment mo? 😉

Like

27 11 2010
promdi

he he. in ferness, totoo yung no.1 message sa answering machine: unti-unting nattransform si mam shalani. nagmmetamorphose pati wardrobe nya. sino kaya ang stylist nya? sory na lang sir; no exchange, no return… meron nang somebody waiting, pinapahinog lang nang konti pa. he he he!!

Like

29 11 2010
Paul

It shows she’s better off without PNoy

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27 11 2010
anon

Next one is 19
Sounds a bit young for a 50 year old
what – 19 girlfriends!
Sounds a bit strange for a 50 year old
that beats tiger woods – but not manny pacquio.
Now thats why the pacman was at the palace.
A few pointers from a professional.
with all these distractions no wonder nothing gets done.
No wonder people prefer stable married leaders with family values

Like

28 11 2010
Neil

So is this the man who 15 million emos made president? Is this the man tasked to fix the country? Why, he can’t even fix his own life. I told you so.

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

If those 15 million emos have any sense of decency and delikadesa, they should all commit hara-kiri. This way, we would not have any need for the RH bill.

Like

28 11 2010
etchosera

over-react ka naman Koya Eddi! masyado ka atang affec-tated pag tungkol sa pagboto kay Pnoy ang pinag-uusapan.

Gusto mo, ibang “boto” na lang ang pag-usapan natin?

Ahihihihihi!

Like

28 11 2010
karaangbugoy

Good idea, basta ikaw magbayad sa funeraria.

Like

28 11 2010
badingerzee

Pambansang bayani – Jose Rizal, Pambansang kamao – Manny Pacquiao, Pambansang Basted – Noynoy Aquino!

Like

29 11 2010
Maxlip

Idagdag mo yung Pambansang Katatawanan, Kris Aquino.

Like

28 11 2010
Top Posts — WordPress.com

[…] Basted ARE YOU familiar with Liz Uy? Yup, Liz Uy, the personal stylist of President Noynoy Aquino, and just recently, the […] […]

Like

28 11 2010
mbw

“Gosh, Biiiiiimby… enough na!” hahaha! Love your Kris and Pacquiao answer messages! Alam kong hindi masayang ma-basted but Pinoy humor talaga is “walang personalan” and “talo ang pikon”! Hindi ko ito ma-translate talaga sa foreigner! Para sa kanila, cruel tayo! Anyway, great posting as ever, PH! Even the commenters can be nastily funny!

Like

28 11 2010
Manoy Manaloto

Bakit di na lang sina Mai Mislang ang ligawan ni PNoy. Mukhang sureball sya kay Gandang Mai. Mababa yata ang standards ni Mai sa lalake. Ang arte naman nya kung choosy pa sya. Ano sya kagandahan?

Like

28 11 2010
etchosera

Ayyyy! Welcome to the TARAY club Ate Manoy!

Like

28 11 2010
lloyd

pinakawalan mo kasi yung taong nagmahal sayo nang tunay at buo yun ka nagkamali there are thousand of beautiful woman out there but only one person god has given to you and if you felt that she is the one never let go…….

Like

28 11 2010
etchosera

Ayyyyy!

ang lalim…… parang ocean!

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28 11 2010
sadakups

When you keep seeing the president in a SHOWBIZ-oriented talk show discussing about his love life, you know, there’s something wrong with this picture.

There’s so much stuff to do rather than wasting time on this.

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28 11 2010
etchosera

Asan po ba yung picture? Patingin naman po.

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28 11 2010
esa

I agree 100% ! I hope P-Noy wakes up…and Kris and Ballsy and even Pinky and Viel. They should realize that P-Noy has to address the nation’s problems first…not his lovelife. He had 25-30 years to do something with his single status…huwag niya ngayon pinagbibigyan ng priority attention.

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28 11 2010
karaangbugoy

Oo nga. Pati tayo, nasasayang din oras natin kakaheckle sa kanya. LOL.

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

kung kelan naging presidenti saka nag-bisibisihan sa lovelife? pwe! tama na, sobra na, ang pagkukunwari!

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29 11 2010
etchosera

Naku Koya Eddi, hayaan mo na nga kase! Karapatan nya naman yan eh.

Bakit ba bitter bitteran ka pag lovelife ni Pnoy ang pinag-uusapan?

May tama ka rin kay Pnoy, no?… just like promdi?

Eeewwwwwwwwwwwww!

Saan nga ba nakakabili ng “good taste” at padalhan ko kayong dalawa?

Isa pa nga…. Eeewwwwwwwwwwwww!

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30 11 2010
eddibumangon

Kung nananahimik na lang ba sila. But Kris, Abunda, Ballsy, ABS, and Pnoy himself are the ones creating these noise and much ado about his lovelife. Nakakasuka ang hypocrisy and pretension which is already an insult to the intelligence of Filipinos, minus the 15 million of course.

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30 11 2010
eddibumangon

and oh by the way, these 15 million emos are potential members of the SYM- Sorry Yellow Movement, that is, yung mga hindi pa naghahara-kiri.

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28 11 2010
senior60

for heaven’s sake, mga warriors ni noynoy during the campaign

period, come on down now and protect him from all these nasty

whatever, bugbog sarado na ang presidente, maawa naman kayo..

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28 11 2010
senior60

in fairness kay noynoy, ang kanyang pangako lang naman

ay hindi sya magiging corrupt at hindi ang hindi mang chicks,

kaya pwede naman siguro isingit dahil siya ay tao lamang lang

naman kahit pa presidente na…

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29 11 2010
promdi

hindi sya tao, mang senior; he’s more than that; presidente siya! at sana inalam niya kung paano maging ganun nang mauto siyang pumasok dun!

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28 11 2010
bob

“T*ng-ina pare, Naka-sleeveless! Sumiseksi pare! Syet! Awrrr!”

Nadali mo ako dun, PH.
Akala ko pa naman youtube link para sa naka-sleeveless at sumiseksing Shalani Soledad ang clinick ko….link pala sa nagmumurang si Mar Roxas.

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

yan ang napapala ng mga mahihilig sa naka-sleeveless at seksi! buti pa kaming mahihilig sa hotdog, laging busog.

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28 11 2010
eddibumangon

hmmmm. if the current trend holds, this might become Pnoy’s lasting legacy: ang presidenteng nagpasikat sa HOTDOG!

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29 11 2010
etchosera

Hmmmp! If I know Koya Eddi, wa ka care if the current trend holds….. mas type mo pa rin ang hotdog holds!

Ahah ahah ahah!

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30 11 2010
eddibumangon

I don’t hold them, when it comes to hotdogs, i’d rather let my mouth do all the work.

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28 11 2010
Wardi

“lacklushter and imaginary affairsh of the heart”

made my day hahaha

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28 11 2010
jianne

I don’t want to add salt to the president’s wounding heart. So ganito na lang– Pres. Noy should not feel bad. For he may have lost someone who never loved him, but Liz and those other 17 girls (the 18th excluded) also lost someone who really loved and cared for them.” wahehe wahehehe , sy8, mukhang magthrow-throw up ako sa sinabi ko. 😀

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29 11 2010
promdi

naku bakit mukhang out of the scene, as in missing in action yata si lola nila sa episode na ire. kaka-miss ah! que pasa? wer na u?

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29 11 2010
babaylan

hindi mo ba alam? si etch at lola ay iisa. tama ba, etch, lola?

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29 11 2010
etchosera

Ay mawalang galang na po Ma’am Titserette, lolita pa lang at di pa po lola ang etchosera! Hmmmmp!

Busy lang po siguro si Lola Nila sa kanyang Herpes kaya di makapag-online.

Ayan po ha, maliwanag yan!

Like

29 11 2010
Neneng kilabot

haha.. taragis na yan… panalo ka talaga ser.. hehe.. palong palo ang mga messages! hehe

Like

29 11 2010
Winziph

hahaha paborito ko yung kay mar, yung ibang kalaban niya nung election wala bang advice?

Like

29 11 2010
floi

galing mo talaga PH….nakakaalis ng stress ang mga post mo!lol!

Like

29 11 2010
ajinomoto

nakita nyo na ba ang totoong bf ni Ms. Liz Uy? My gulay ang gwapo kaya. Malamang pinagbigyan lang nyan ang request ni Tetay na mai date nya si Pnoy.

Yung katulad kase ni Abunda at Kris wala ng inisip kundi publicity! Hoy Pnoy bago ka mag inarte sa lovelife mo pwede palagyan mo muna ng aircon ang Consulate office sa Dubai at ilipat sa mas maayos na lugar di yung sa gitna ng disyerto nakapwesto.

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29 11 2010
James Yap

Pagkatapos mabasted ni Liz, tapos 3 times pang nabasted ng Chinese gov’t for one-on-one meeting, reportedly eto na raw paboritong kanta ngayon ni P-Noy: PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH MY HEART (English-Mandarin version).

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29 11 2010
senior60

@ promdi

pag presidente na pala, hindi na tao, ano na tawag pag
more than tao na…ay presidente pala..naguguluhan ako…

anyway, kahit ano pang gawin natin, kahit magtumbling pa
kayong lahat pwera ako dahil hindi ko na kaya, ang reality,
na uto na si noynoy at presidente na…

kaya, pabayaan na nating humanap ng inspiration, di ba nga
may kasabihan na, behind every man’s success is a woman,
or something to that effect,
malay natin, pag may asawa na dadalhin na tayo sa matuwid
na landas, may chance pa naman, malayo pa ang expiration
date ng kanyang term…

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29 11 2010
Paul

Hope that the country will not expire before his term ends

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29 11 2010
promdi

kasi mang senior, ang tao, normal ang buhay; yung gising at work sa araw, then tulog at rest sa gabi; mga at least 3x a day ang kain, at madalas standard iniisip ang sarili na mapabuti, and more or less, pati pamilya at mahal sa buhay. di ba? ordinaryong tao yan. pero kung presidente ka, more than tao ka! presidente ka at nagprisinta ka para maging yun. pinatulan ka naman ng mga medyo desperate na mga voting populace na sabik sa pinopromo mong “tuwid na daan” kahit wala ka naman palang kongktretong game plan o road map kung paano makakapunta dun! Ang president, sinasantabi, sinasakripisyo ang personal interest at mas bias sa kapakanan ng bayan. me sense of sacrifice, ika nga. ex: kung single ka, di ka pwedeng hahara-hara sa mga resto na nakikipagdate until the wee hours! pangbagets at aimless lakwatsero lang yun; hindi pang-president ng bansa! hindi ka nagiging vocal sa mga personal insights mo sa panliligaw at pakikipagdate sa mga chicks na di naman yata alam na nililigawan mo sila! mga ganun! e presidente ka nga eh. kaya sorry na lang! pinasok mo ang seryoso at masakripisyong mundo na yan, kaya umayos ka! gets mo na, sir senior?

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30 11 2010
eddibumangon

promdi, i agree with you all the way.

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30 11 2010
etchosera

Ayyyy! Wag ka pong ganyan Koya Eddi!

Nate-threaten ang aking pagka prim and proper noun!

Ahihihihihihi!

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30 11 2010
etchosera

Ayyy! parang text naman itong comment ko.
Wrong sent! dun dapat ito sa hotdog ek ek ng Koya eddi!

Eniwey, paki-explain naman neto Koya Eddi:

Bakit dun sa klab na napuntahan namin………..

Iba ang ibig sabihin ng…. all the way! Ayyyyyyyyy!

Like

29 11 2010
jongskie721

oo nga, okay na sana si SHalani, pero hindi na ako mabibigla kung magpapakasal si SHalani ke WILLIE 😀 LOL

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30 11 2010
etchosera

Ayyyy! dapat po mabigla ka pa rin!

Like

29 11 2010
edongpinoy

golden rule ang tumama kay pnoy mga kabayan…pnay singles ang tropa niya except mar na napilitan lang…robredo, tolentino (mmda), joey salceda, are among them….yes he’s our president and we dont care about his lovelife…it’s his concrete program na ilang buwan na wala pa rin kundi puro kahihiyan at pangongopya lang…that’s the fruit of misvote to real doers…quo vadis pinoy and pinas?

Like

29 11 2010
kalokah

basted rin tayo, di tayo nanalo ng lotto. 😦

Like

30 11 2010
pasingit

sa mga mapagmasid, napansin nyo po ba ang mga sumusunod?

1. Nang mamatay si Tita Cory, walang Shalani sa eksena.
2. Sa “speech” (eulogy) ni Kristeta, she said something like “kung ano ka man (Noynoy), tanggap namin” or words to that effect [paki-Google na lang].
3. A week after dineklara na ang candidacy ni Penoy, biglang-bigla ang ugong (courtesy of Boy Abunda?) about Shalani.
4. In a public event, the crowd teased Penoy to kiss Shalani. He declined. Kung ako si Shalani, ni-dirty finger ko itong si Penoy right then and there.
5. There was something fishy about this Penoy-Shalani affair. Mukhang scripted from the start.
6. Liz decline her “role” in her “script.” Woudn’t you?

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30 11 2010
etchosera

Totoo nga pong lahat yan Ate! Tanong nga po nung neighbor namin, bakit ba kailangan pang idemanda ng ABS-CBN si Willie, eh asawa na naman ni Korina si Mar Roxas na kaibigan ni Noynoy?

Ayyyyy! Ano na nga po ba ang tanong nyo?

Like

30 11 2010
Yen

Pasingit, kung nagmasid ka sa pamilya Aquino before mamatay si Tita Cory, malalaman mo na pinakilala na sa public si Shalani before pah. She was introduced even sa Deal or No Deal ng mag-guest si Pnoy at James, Feb 2009 bday ni Kris, nandoon din si Mar at binibiro nilang “next president”. Also if you chk Kris eulogy to her Mom, she didn’t mention anything “kung ano ka man”, pls chk in Youtube nagkalat ang video. But its true wala clang PDA in public, never kung nakita. I never doubted Pnoy”s sexual preference, duda ako sa Emotional & maybe a little Psychological capability nya to handle intimate relationship. Yun lng po thank you.

Like

1 12 2010
pasingit

Kristeta, ikaw ba yan???

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1 12 2010
Centrino

Si Boy abunda yan.

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2 12 2010
pasingit

hay naku, Yen! Look what u made me do: reasearch and transcribe part of Kristeta’s eulogy (the part that made a lot of eyebrows reach for the sky). Eto po ‘yon… yung part na si Penoy na ang tinutukoy ni Kristeta:

“… Pero ‘wag kang mag-alala… Kaming mga kapatid mo, kung saan ka liligaya… PWEDE NA RIN!”

O, ano sa palagay mo Yen?

Haiz… pinagod mo ako ha???? U owe me one, Yen or Kristeta… or Boy [as per Centrino below]. Now I can sleep. G’night!

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2 12 2010
pasingit

Eto nga pala ung link:

The phrase in question is @ 2:22.

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30 11 2010
oscargomez1985

Hmm, ang masasabi ko lang…dudes, get a life. Lay off the girlfriend stuff.

Like

30 11 2010
eddibumangon

dude, get a life. and tell that 50 something tenant of malakanyang to lay off the girlfriend stuff.

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30 11 2010
Maxlip

nyahahaha. Galing mo kuya eddi.

Like

30 11 2010
pedicab gurl

“Sorry, da numbel you dial is in a meeting.”

panalo!

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1 12 2010
fely_dizon0318@yahoo.com.ph

ang natural mong kilos at ganda ay inspirasyon ng masa.

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1 12 2010
etchosera

si Noynoy po ba ang tinutukoy nyo?

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2 12 2010
pasingit

hahaha! Penoy… kay ganda??!! eww!

Like

1 12 2010
senior60

@promdi

na describe mo na ang normal at tsaka more than tao,
how about doon sa mga less fortunate, anong category
sila na belong, abnormal/less than tao? me ganuon?

oo na, doon sa mga ibang sacrifices agree na rin ako. pero,
when it comes to the matters of the heart, promdi at eddi,
walang pinipiling panahon or situation yan, ke more than tao,
normal or abnormal pa yan, kapag tumibok ang puso, kailangan
matugunan, ano ba kayo….

tungkol doon sa pagiging vocal ni noynoy sa kanyang love life,
kasalanan yan ng media, nagtatanong kasi kaya sinasagot,
ganuon lang yun…

Like

1 12 2010
eddibumangon

senior, sure ka na sa sagot mo? naniniwala ka talaga na after all these years, and at the age of more than 50, biglang nag-hyperdrive sa pagtibok ang puso niya? hindi pa tapos ang diskusyon kay liz, meron na naman daw bago? PWE!!!

Like

1 12 2010
nwebber

As always, thanks for the laugh trip!

Teka lang PH, regalo from Blue Magic?! Haha, meron talagang ganon? Buhay pa ba Blue Magic? 🙂

Like

2 12 2010
professionalheckler

hahahaha! oo naman. Blue Magic talaga.

Like

3 12 2010
senior60

hahaha napakalutong naman ng pwe mo eddi…

annooo? may bago na naman sya? hindi nga….

napaka updated mo naman or talagang mahina na hearing ko…..

Like

22 01 2011
BASTED « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] BASTED « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Jokes, Liz Uy and tagged cruel-tayo, dont-think, going-round, […]

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